EL3VEN
by ColdSurroundings
Summary: He delighted in stalking them first, building up the fear and paranoia. Olivia couldn't help but to think that this was the first stage of Grant Meyers making her victim number 11. WARNING: Violence,EO Smut,Strong Language,Graphic Content including rape
1. Chapter 1

"For Christ sakes, just admit it." Olivia releases a heavy sigh, blowing her messy, long bangs away from her face.

"Detective Stabler and I already know you're as guilty as sin so you might as well cop to it."

Olivia shrugs and stares her suspect down, awaiting his response.

_Who the fuck does this bitch think she is?_

"Well if you're so sure, confident and all…" He says, gazing into her exhausted, brown eyes. "Why waste your time? Lock me up, Olivia."

He presents his wrists to her and shrugs back, mocking her. She couldn't stand it when suspects called her by her first name, especially violent predators like Grant Meyers.

They had been looking at Grant for months for the rapes and murders of 10 women. She referred to herself as Detective Benson when speaking to him, but like every good creep, he did some research. Her name coming from his mouth made her stomach turn.

The room is quiet. Olivia stares at his wrists while contemplating her next move. Elliot remains standing in a dark corner, arms crossed and furious with the fact that he gets to spend yet another one of his nights trapped in an interrogation room with the scum of the earth.

_Oh joy, I'm so lucky_, he sarcastically thinks to himself.

He looks over to his partner. Most of her hair was up in a sloppy bun and she was practically slumping in her chair, clearly exhausted.

_She's perfect_, Elliot thought despite her exhausted state.

"Listen Grant -" Olivia starts to speak, but she's immediately cut off by him.

"This isn't important." Grant shakes his head and cracks a smile.

Olivia stares into his eyes, confused. "Wha -" She's interrupted again. "What's important is how often you two break NYPD code."

Olivia continues to stare at him, now even more confused than before. She glances over at Elliot to see the same confusion spread across his face.

Her eyes return to Grant. "Fucking," he simply says.

"C'mon… don't tell me that you two haven't fucked."

Olivia lets out a small nervous laugh, her shaky hand tucking strands of hair behind her ear. She attempts to gain control back quickly.

"Very nice, Mr. Meyers. That's good, avoid the subject. You can ask me whatever you please, however, you and I both know the truth, don't we?"

Grant looks over at Elliot and stares back at Olivia.

"Which is what?" He shrugs again, frowning.

"That you fuck every night? Jesus, you two are something else!" His voice was deep, yet raspy.

"No," Olivia says, her voice full of authority. "That you raped and killed all those women."

Olivia swallows hard, hoping that he would drop the subject of Elliot and her having sex or as he so politely put it, 'fucking.' Grant continues, ignoring Olivia's last statement completely.

"I don't blame you, Detective," he states, looking back over at Elliot. "She's a nice piece of ass."

"Hey, pal!" Elliot shouts from the other side of the room.

He walks over to the interrogation table and leans over it, so close to Grant that their noses were practically touching.

"Enough with the bullshit. Start cooperating or expect to become somebody's bitch in lock-up."

Grant holds his wrists out to Olivia once more, grinning. Elliot and Olivia's eyes meet, and they immediately read each other.

Neither of them uttered a word, but they both agreed with their eyes, _This guy isn't gonna tell us shit_.

Elliot pushes away from the table and starts to head out the door, and Olivia begins to follow him. Before she completely removes herself from her seat, Grant quickly grabs her wrist, holding it in an iron grip.

Olivia stares into his cold eyes, and her skin begins to tingle from his touch. She swears that her chills are so intense that even he could feel them.

"I'm sorry you haven't found your guy yet." He gives her sad, puppy dog eyes which could be mistaken as genuine sympathy had she not known him to be the murderer and rapist of 10 women that he was.

Olivia snatches her arm back, but can't seem to break eye contact from him. There was something about his eyes that locked her in. Cragen bangs his fist on the two-way mirror, snapping her out of his spell. Olivia makes her exit, but Grant's eyes remain fixed on her until she shuts the door.

"Release him. We've got nothin' on him," Cragen says.

Elliot and Olivia don't even bother to object or argue with their captain. Although both were annoyed, they heard that line often and both were used to this routine.

Location: Outside Olivia's Apartment

Elliot pulls in front of Olivia's apartment, Olivia riding passenger.

"Want me to walk you up?" he asks, placing his hand on her inner thigh.

Olivia rolls her eyes. This was getting old, quick. She knew now that 'Want me to walk you up?' translated into 'Do you want to fuck?'

She was not in the mood tonight. She guesses that it was because the sick son of a bitch who they just finished interrogating read them, easily enough that he could picture them fucking. Grant Meyers thinking about her doing anything, especially having sex, disgusted her. She was also becoming frustrated with their "relationship" or whatever it was considered.

Was she just an object to Elliot or was there more to this relationship? She couldn't tell.

She unintentionally thinks out loud.

"What the fuck are we?" she whispers to herself, but loud enough for Elliot to hear her.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asks in a soft tone, surprising her.

She really didn't plan on discussing this tonight, but she decides to continue anyway.

"We work, you drive me home, we fuck," she lists out.

"So what the fuck are we?" she repeats. "What does that make us?"

Elliot looks left and right, searching for a response, but thrown off by her question. Not even he knew the answer to this question. He cared for her and loved her. He didn't doubt either one of those facts, however, he could not put a title on their relationship.

Still married to Kathy, he couldn't possibly consider her a girlfriend, a lover. Could he? His marriage was rocky at best. The car becomes quiet for nearly a minute as Elliot thinks of the right words to say. Olivia stares him down, impatiently awaiting his response.

Pissed and fed up with whatever bullshit answer he was trying to come up with, Olivia grabs her jacket and quickly exits the vehicle, Elliot rushing after her.

She hears his footsteps behind her.

"Forget it, Elliot. We'll talk some other time."

"No, let's talk now," he persists, hearing the pain in her voice.

It broke his heart that he had hurt her. He curses under his breath, still trying to find the right words to fix this mess as he continues to chase after her. Olivia ignores him, and they arrive at the door to her apartment.

She fumbles with her keys, trying to find the right one, but her thoughts were jumbled due to the anger and the hurt that she was feeling. She finally finds it and sticks the key into the keyhole, unlocking the door.

She attempts to close the door in Elliot's face, but he easily stops it using one hand.

"Let's talk now," he repeats, nodding.

Frustrated, Olivia immediately gives up her weak attempt to force him out of her apartment, and walks into the kitchen, near the refrigerator. She opens the refrigerator, sighing as she reaches for a beer, the only item she really kept in her empty fridge.

"Hell, Liv! Don't start something that you're not willing to finish," Elliot says, still waiting by the door.

She pauses, her head still buried in the refrigerator as if she had many options to choose from. She stands straight, staring at him.

"Elliot just go," she begs him in an annoyed tone.

She closes the refrigerator door, leaving the beer and walks back over to the door, fully expecting him to leave. To her complete surprise, Elliot crashes his lips onto hers. Olivia widens her eyes, and pushes her hands into his chest. She breaks contact, gasping for air. She doesn't know why she felt so low on oxygen, but she needed to break that contact and fast.

"-the fuck!" she yells. "Elliot! El, don't you get it!" She pushes him again, more forceful than before.

"What are y -" He stops her mid-sentence.

"We love each other, you know it," he says, gazing into her eyes.

"You know it," he says again, extending his hand out and caressing her cheek.

His touch sends shivers down her spine, but she pretends to be unaffected by it. "Oh, do I?" she yells. Elliot nods, bringing his hand down to her shoulder, gently rubbing it.

"Leave," she says, reaching for the doorknob.

Elliot grabs the wrist belonging to the hand that was reaching for the knob, and then grabs her other wrist, lifting both hands above her head, and pinning her to the wall.

"Y- You heard me," she says under her breath, failing at pretending to be unfazed by his hard on pressing into her front.

She lets out a heavy breath and a whimper, which could be mistaken as pain if Elliot didn't know her so well. She's stubborn, refusing to drop the act.

"Get the fuck off me," she says staring into his blue, hungry eyes.

Elliot can't resist her anymore, lifting her up as he starts to head toward her bedroom.

"Put me down," she weakly demands with no actual attempt to struggle and escape from his muscular arms. She wraps her legs around his waist, clasping her feet together and putting her arms around his neck.

Olivia crashes onto her back onto the bed, Elliot landing on top of her. She lets out a yelp as she feels his erection press hard into her, through her slacks. Elliot quickly becomes impatient. He can't take it anymore. With her moans and yelps alone, he was already near a climax. He needed to be inside her right now.

He sits up, kneeling as he works at her button and zipper on her slacks. He succeeds and yanks them down her thighs, tossing them across the room. She lays there in a crimson red, button up blouse.

He considers undressing the upper half of her body, but decides that there is too little time. He pulls his fitted sweater over his head, and examines her body. He could feel his dick fighting beneath his briefs like a wild, caged animal.

He quickly drops his pants, and leans down over her, gripping his hard, pulsating dick with his hand. He rubs the head of his dick over her entrance.

_Jesus, she's so wet_, he thinks.

Despite his urgency to be inside her, he decides to tease her first.

"You know what, Liv…you were right… I should go." He begins to slowly climb off the bed, but not before pushing his dick about an inch into her, then pulling it back out to torture her.

She quickly puts an end to his teasing, grabbing his muscular buttocks with both hands, pulling him toward her entrance. His dick enters her quickly, and Elliot yells out shocked by her strength and the unexpected contact.

"Oh fuck!" he pants, as she swallows him in.

He fills her completely and pulls out before driving into her again. Olivia throws her head back, moaning as his snake massages in and out of her.

He fills her up, but she's greedy, wanting more of him. Again she wraps her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his bare ass. She digs her nails into his strong back, leaving red marks as he continued to pump into her.

"Shit." She lets out another heavy breath.

"Fuck yeah," she whispers, her entire body jolting.

Both coming near a climax, Elliot begins to pump into her harder, placing his hands on her handles as support.

"El…Elliot," she cries out.

That was it. His name coming from her cherry lips was too much of a turn on. Her voice was so fucking sexy. He shoots his juices inside her, his pace slowing, but his movement just as strong.

He pounds into her, their skin contact sounding like a pair of hands performing a slow clap. He pushes into her one final time, and then collapses on top of her, completely winded.

"Fuck, Liv," he whispers into her ear, his breath warm as a late July afternoon.

Olivia continues to pant, as Elliot pulls out and rolls off of her, his dick slowly deflating. She closes her eyes, and almost immediately lets sleep take her. Elliot stares at the ceiling, then turns to see her sleeping, her breathing calm and relaxed.

He quietly removes himself from the bed and gathers his clothes that were scattered around the room. He exits, wanting to avoid any next morning awkwardness, but not before placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I love you," he whispers and heads out.

The sun blazes down onto her bed, awakening her. She squints as she reads the clock sitting on the stand beside her bed. _7:02_. She shifts her legs a little, feeling the moisture in between her thighs. She flashes back to the previous hours.

"Fuck," she says, throwing her head back into her fluffed pillow.

She climbs out of the bed, only needing to strip from her blouse and bra. Elliot took care of the rest for her last night.

_Gee, thanks El_, she thinks to herself as she sees her pants and panties on the floor.

She heads into the bathroom, and turns the shower knob clockwise, warming the water up. As she waits, she looks into the mirror. Her mascara was smeared and smudges of her lipstick covered her cheeks and neck.

She combs her fingers through her hair and lets out a dreadful sigh, disappointed in the events that occurred. She felt dirty. She loved him, and knew he loved her in return. Nonetheless, she felt dirty. Seeing steam ascend from the tub, she hops into the shower letting the hot water pour down onto her skin.

She immediately grabs her shower gel and sponge, and begins scrubbing. She stays in the tub longer than needed. She figured the longer she stood there, the cleaner she would feel. She proved herself wrong as she hopped out of the tub, toweling off, feeling just as dirty if not dirtier than before.

Location: Beans n' More Coffee Shop

"How can I help you, ma'am," the young man behind the counter asks her, looking more joyful than he should be at this early in the morning.

"Yeah, can I get 2 medium coffees, 2 cream, 2 sugar in each," Olivia asks.

She pays and immediately after paying, she hears her name coming from an all too familiar voice.

"Good morning, Olivia." She turns to face him.

Grant Meyers. She freezes for a moment, and then her mind begins racing, searching for some witty remark. Instead she decides to go with what she was already thinking to herself.

"What do you want?" she asks, staring into his dark green eyes. "The same thing you want," he responds in his raspy voice, cocking his head at her and placing his hands in his pockets. Olivia gives him a blank stare, and then raises one eye brow.

"Coffee," he says cheerfully, stepping forward to the counter.

"Small coffee, black," he tells the young man. He turns his head toward Olivia, winking at her. She stands there in disbelief. Although this was only her first encounter with Grant outside of police business, she refused to believe that this was a coincidence.

There were hundreds of coffee joints in the Manhattan area, and out of all the places they could run into each other, it was here at this specific time, not even a full day after she interrogated him.

Olivia transforms into cop mode and conducts her own mini investigation, interrogating him right on the spot.

"I'm here almost every morning. Never seen you here. Kinda odd, no?" she questions him, accepting her coffee as the young man handed it to her in a tray.

"I like to explore, ya know? I thought I'd try a new place," he responds, smiling at her.

The manner in which he spoke was almost charismatic. However, Olivia knew better. They didn't have enough to pin him, but there was no doubt in her mind that this man killed and raped those innocent women.

"Hmm that's interesting," Olivia says, sipping her or Elliot's coffee.

It didn't matter which one she sipped out of. She and Elliot shared drinks much too often for it to matter.

"You don't work in this area. You certainly don't live near here. Coming to this shop isn't a bit of an inconvenience for ya?"

He smiles again.

_Damn she's so smart and quick_, he thinks.

"Well that's true, it is a bit out of the way I suppose..."

Olivia stares him down waiting for the 'but.'

"…But the women in this area are a lot more attractive. Don't you agree?" he asks, tilting his head to the side.

Olivia looks at him, highly suspicious.

"Hadn't noticed," she answers, shrugging.

"C'mon," he lets out a small laugh. "Surely you know you're gorgeous."

Olivia ends it there, and begins to exit the shop. This guy was a sociopath and she knew it. There was no need to continue this line of questioning because she knew the rest would be either lies or pickup lines.

He quickly cuts in front of her, apologizing.

"Sorry, Olivia. I didn't mean to offend you," he says, showing what appeared to be concern.

"You didn't. Move out of my way," Olivia orders, attempting to bypass him.

"Woah, woah, wait…wait." He stops her again, and pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket.

"At least accept my number." He takes her hand and puts the paper in her palm.

He closes her fingers around the paper before taking her hand to his lips and gently giving it a quick peck. He exits the shop before she could, disappearing into the business crowd outside.

Olivia rubs her hand roughly onto her jeans, feeling the bile rise up in her throat as she thought about his lips on her. Olivia opens the paper and reads the numbers in front of her. Immediately she recognizes that this was in no way a phone number.

It didn't even have half the digits it was suppose to, only two. "1-1," she reads. _What?_

She walks out of the coffee shop, confused, repeating the digits '1-1' to herself in her mind. Returning back to cop mode, she begins to think like a detective.

_Is this part of an address? A district? Maybe where a body is buried?_,she later discovers that she was wrong on all counts. The number makes perfect sense, she just doesn't see it. Olivia could not have predicted what comes next.

**Please REVIEW! You're in for a bumpy ride! **


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia walks over to their adjoined desks, and sees Elliot sitting there, looking up at her.

"Morning," he says as she hands him his coffee.

Elliot examines the lid and notices that her lipstick had smudged off on it.

_He fucking loved it. _

Even something as simple as sharing their drinks turned him on. Hell, everything about this woman turned him on. Fin glances over to their desks, noticing the red smudges on Elliot's cup, and shakes his head.

Elliot and Olivia failed at keeping their relationship a secret. Although it was never spoken of out loud, their close co-workers all guessed to themselves that there was _something_ going on between them.

Everything about the way Elliot and Olivia interacted had changed drastically as of a couple months ago; the awkward morning looks, openly sharing their drinks and food, the level of comfort they felt around each other when they were physically close, how both would look away, making nervous gestures anytime Kathy and the kids were mentioned. Everything.

None of their co-workers ever brought it up or questioned their relationship because each of them knew that Elliot and Olivia were in serious violation of NYPD policy. Each of them was in their own little world of denial.

Olivia removes her leather jacket and lowers herself into her seat, still feeling the weight of Elliot's eyes on her. She felt so exposed for some reason. Although she was fully clothed, she felt as if she was standing in the middle of Time Square, completely naked for all to see.

If anyone was to blame for the after sex morning awkwardness, it was her. Refusing to make eye contact with Elliot, she pretends to sort through old paperwork. Elliot was like a horny teenager.

Generally, he would still be turned on by the next day as if he had an everlasting, infinite erection. Today was no exception. Blinded by his arousal, he couldn't see how extremely uncomfortable Olivia was.

Olivia didn't plan on discussing her encounter with Grant Meyers so soon, but she figured that anything was better than them sitting there in silence, while Elliot stripped her down to nothing with his eyes. Standing up from her seat, she moves toward Elliot's part of the desk, sitting on the edge.

Elliot couldn't help but to notice her breasts jiggle a bit as she sat down. She takes the now balled up piece of paper out of her pocket, handing it to Elliot, taking his attention away from her breasts and to the paper in his hand.

As Elliot opens it, Olivia crosses her arms as to cover herself. It honestly didn't matter since there was not an inch of her skin that Elliot had not already seen before.

"What am I looking at?" he asks, confused.

"You tell me," Olivia responds, shrugging. "Your guess would be as any good as mine. Grant Meyers handed it to me this morning, said it was his number."

Elliot looks up at her with furrowed eyebrows. Fin and Munch get up from their seats and make their way over to Elliot and Olivia's desks.

"Looks like we have similar tastes too," she added. "I ran into him at Beans n' More."

Elliot nibbles on his lower lip as he stares at the writing on the paper. He did not like this one bit.

"What's eleven mean?" Munch asks, looking over Elliot's shoulder at the wrinkled paper.

Olivia's heart nearly stops beating as she hears that number. She read the number incorrectly before, separating the digits as _1-1_ when in fact there was no dash or comma in between the digits that would have them to be read in that manner.

However, she read it in that way initially because she thought she was reciting the beginning of a telephone number or part of an address. It never dawned on her to read the digits as one.

"Eleven…" she whispers under her breath.

She and Elliot look into each others eyes, both displaying fear. Fin moves his eyes back and forth, from Elliot to Olivia, scratching his head in the process.

"Is there something I'm not understanding here? Somebody wanna feel me in?"

Elliot fixes his eyes on Olivia's, nonverbally asking her, _Are you going to say what we're both thinking or should I? _

After moments of complete silence, Elliot begins to speak.

"Liv, this doesn't look good," he tells her, stating the obvious.

Fin and Munch face each other, both shrugging and both equally confused. Elliot turns toward them, waving the paper around as he spoke using hand motions.

"Eleven," Elliot says, cocking his head at the paper in his hand. "Grant Meyers has already raped and killed 10 women. He's obviously sending us some sort of message," Elliot continues, staring back at a spaced out Olivia.

He didn't want to be anymore specific than that, and share his true feelings about this situation, which was that Grant Meyers was fixed on Olivia, and that the threat was more for her than the Unit itself.

"Is this your first time running into this prick?" Munch asks, awaiting Olivia's response.

Olivia sat there, her eyes wide as if she had seen a ghost. Her lower lip was shaking, and she hadn't blinked once since Munch revealed the number eleven to her.

"Liv!" Elliot calls out, causing her to jump slightly, but snapping her out of her daze. "Have you seen Meyers anywhere else before this morning?"

Olivia flutters her eye lids open and shut, slowly shaking her head.

"N- No. I don't think so. I- I mean... this is my first time seeing him. I- I um…"

Elliot, Fin and Munch give each other quick stares, each taken back by Olivia's nervous state. She rarely stuttered, and ordinarily, she spoke with confidence. It was obvious that Grant Meyers had her spooked.

"That's good," Fin says, nodding his head, attempting to reassure Olivia that she wasn't in any real danger.

Elliot and Olivia stare into each others eyes, neither believing that this situation was in any way, shape or form _good_ for Olivia.

"He's stalking me," Olivia slips out, surprising herself.

"You don't think you're jumping to that conclusion a little soon? A little too early?" Munch asks, showing concern on his face.

"No," Olivia responds, shaking her head. "He knows where I get my coffee from because he most likely followed me there. Who knows what other places he's followed me to, what he's seen or what he knows about me."

Elliot swallows hard as he flashes back to the interrogation that he and Olivia conducted where Grant Meyers questioned their sexual relationship.

If Olivia's suspicions were accurate, then there was no doubt in Elliot's mind that Grant brought up the topic of them fucking, not because he saw the sexual tension, but because he had followed them.

"Liv, you can't assume that just yet," Elliot tells her, even though deep down inside he shared the same thoughts.

"C'mon, Elliot," Olivia says, frowning.

"This asshole doesn't live here, he doesn't work here," she tells him, listing the facts out with her fingers.

"Why else would he be at that shop that early in the morning? Because it's New York City's best coffee and he's trying to avoid the early afternoon rush? I don't think so. Gimme a break, guys! He's following me. No need to sugar code that."

Elliot, Fin and Munch don't bother to object, knowing that what Olivia was stating was dead on.

"Still…" Elliot says, placing his hand gently on her knee. "You've got _nothing_ to worry about, Liv. This son of a bitch isn't coming anywhere near you, I promise."

Fin and Munch couldn't help but notice Elliot's hand massaging her knee. They glanced at each other, smirking a bit.

"Count on it," Elliot tells her.

Location: Outside of Olivia's apartment

Elliot and Olivia wait in the vehicle outside of her apartment, arguing like they often did when any sort of threat was made toward Olivia.

Naturally, Elliot was protective of Olivia, pleading with her to let him stay the night.

"No means no, Elliot. I'm serious this time. Really, I'm not in the mood tonight," Olivia whispers as tears begin to form in her eyes, the palms of her hands moist with nervous sweat.

Prior to Harris attacking her at Sealview, threats made against her never shook her up to this extent. Still recovering from the events that occurred in the basement, she feared for her life and trembled at the thought of another predator hunting her down.

Even more, Lowell Harris and Grant Meyers had too many similarities. Both had deep, raspy voices, both with darker hair, both around the same height, and both charismatic at times, showing concern for her when in reality they were both cold blooded rapists and murderers.

She also couldn't help but to notice that their body build was similar, though Grant Meyers was somewhat leaner than Harris. She couldn't stop comparing the two.

_How could she possibly think that my goal tonight was to get into her pants? _Elliot thinks.

It hurts him that Olivia thinks he wants sex from her at a time like this. _Have I been that much of a pig to her?_ he wonders.

"Liv, my only objective here is protecting you, nothing else," he says, grabbing her hand. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, I really am. I just want you to be safe tonight."

Olivia believed he wanted her safe, but found it difficult picturing them going to bed without fucking because that rarely happened.

She thought back and tried to remember the last time that Elliot walked her up and left without them having sex. That was their routine, especially after working a tough case. At times neither of them would necessarily be aroused at first, but fuck anyway to release steam.

These were the times that their sex was the roughest. Elliot would mercilessly pound into Olivia, and she would wake up with redness between her thighs, her insides burning. She squeezed her legs together as those moments flooded her memories.

"Liv?" Elliot stared at her, wondering what was going through her mind.

His words were nothing more than background music to her at the moment, echoing in the back of her mind.

"Liv, please… if I can't stay, I won't be getting any sleep tonight, and you know it. Please," he begs her.

She stares at his lips trying to decipher what he was telling her, still lost in her memories.

"Wh- What?" she asks him, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.

"Let me stay," he repeats.

Location: Olivia's living room

"Beer?" Elliot asks, taking a seat beside Olivia, offering her the bottle.

"No thanks," she responds, sighing.

If she was going to drink any alcoholic beverages tonight it would need to be a lot stronger than beer.

_Maybe vodka_, she thinks to herself.

Elliot grabs the remote, turning on the television, landing on the local news and then placing the remote back onto the coffee table. He leans back onto the sofa, placing his arm behind Olivia and kicking his feet up to rest on the table while taking a swig of beer.

"_A recent report shows that rapes in the New York City area have gone up nearly 30% since June," _says the woman's voice, blasting from the television.

Elliot quickly sets his beer down, reaching for the remote to change channels. While reaching for it, he accidentally pushes the remote off the table and it crashes onto the floor, its batteries flying out of it.

"_Just last week a woman living on the upper east side was raped and found beaten in her home. Authorities tell us that her attacker raped, beat and left her for dead on her apartment floor." _

Elliot jumps up from the sofa, running over to the television, desperately pushing buttons to turn the television off, but only lowering and raising the volume as he did so.

"_In another recent case, a woman was found dead, suffering from gun shot wounds. Police believe this to be a sexual assault case, however…" _

Elliot doesn't waste any more time with the buttons, rushing over to the outlet on the wall, and yanking the cord out. A mini spark ignited as he did so.

He turns to Olivia who is still staring at the now blank television screen, teary eyed. He curses under his breath, displeased with his efforts to turn off the news quickly before it did any additional damage.

The last thing Olivia needed to hear right now was stories about women being raped and executed in their apartments.

Olivia brings her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. She knew it wouldn't bring her any extra protection, but she felt comfort in hugging herself.

"It's not the same, Olivia. You know that," Elliot says, walking back over to the sofa. "Those stories aren't important." He sits beside her once more, taking her hand into his hands, and placing it into his lap.

"You've got me, Olivia. There's nothing to fear."

Olivia knew that Elliot would do everything in his power to protect her, even if that meant shooting Grant Meyers down dead if he had to. Still, she feared for her safety. Grant Meyers was an extremely intelligent man, not your everyday perp. Furthermore, he was bold.

He left the bodies of his victims out in the open, naked and exposed for everyone to see. He degraded women even after death before scrubbing their corpses clean, destroying nearly all traces of forensic evidence.

Although he never graduated from college, he learned enough in his forensics courses to know how to annihilate evidence. He bought several forensics books, studying each one like the bible.

College was the breaking point for Grant Meyers. It was the place where he first encountered intelligent, independent, beautiful women who turned him down time and time again.

_Those fucking bitches._ He hated them all.

He hated women and thrilled in breaking them down. Once broken, he didn't see any need for them, killing off each and every one of his victims. He delighted in stalking them first, building up the fear and paranoia. Olivia couldn't help but to think that this was the first stage of Grant Meyers making her victim number eleven.

**Please, please, please review! I tend to update quicker, the more comments there are. Who doesn't? LOL I really enjoy reading you all's thoughts, good or bad. Thanks for telling me what you thought!**


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia feels the bed sink beneath her. As she slowly opens her eyes and adjusts them to the morning light, she sees a blurry image of a Christmas tree with colorfully wrapped gifts beneath it.

She gently rubs her eyelids to clear her vision, and notices that the holiday themed images are painted onto a bright red coffee mug. She takes a deep breath through her nostrils, taking in the coffee's sweet aroma along with the fresh morning air.

Her vision fully recovers as her eyes adjust more to the sun invading her room. She sees Elliot sitting on the edge of the bed, a smile plastered across his face.

"Mornin', sunshine," he says, offering her the Christmas mug.

"Wow, is it December already? Time really does fly, huh?" Olivia teases, slowly sitting up on her bed, her voice still raspy from her sleep.

"Hey, you better be glad I found anything in that empty room that you call a kitchen," Elliot responds to her as he tenderly brushes strands of hair away from her face with his fingers.

"You didn't even have cream or sugar in there," he says, jokingly shaking his head in disappointment.

"Liv, that's just plain criminal. I had to run to the store and buy some." Elliot places the mug on the night stand next to her bed.

"Elliot, you didn't have to do that," Olivia says, reaching for the coffee.

"It wasn't a problem." Elliot gives Olivia a gentle kiss on her forehead before standing to his feet, and heading into the bathroom.

Just then it hit her; It was early in the morning and Elliot was in her apartment.

_What the hell happened last night?_ she wonders.

She tosses her covers aside and examines her body. She was fully clothed, wearing navy blue cotton pajama pants and a long gray T-shirt with the letters 'NYPD' printed on it. She sighs in relief, and gradually begins to gain her memory back.

She remembers dressing herself, and Elliot coming into her bedroom shortly afterwards, providing her with some additional comfort; telling her that he wouldn't leave her side until they were positive that she was out of harm's way.

She also remembers him being persistent, practically begging her to let him sleep on the sofa. Olivia claimed that the sofa was entirely too small for him to sleep on, and that she wanted him to be comfortable.

The truth was that she didn't want to sleep alone that night. When Elliot wasn't in the same room she felt Grant's presence. Elliot was that extra layer of protection for her. She invited Elliot into her bed more for herself than for him and his comfort.

He was kind and gentle, wrapping his arms around her waist as he whispered words of encouragement into her ear. This was the first time they slept together without actually _sleeping_ together, not counting the nights where they would stay up late, watching television or some movie, and unintentionally drift into a deep sleep.

Elliot walks out of the bathroom, shirtless with a fresh pair of slacks on. Olivia raises an eyebrow in confusion.

"Where'd those come from?" Olivia asks.

Elliot faces her and then points to his pants. "What these? My car."

Olivia slowly nods her head.

"You didn't expect me to go to work in the same clothes, did ya?"

Olivia looks over at his button up shirt, hanging over the chair by the window.

"No, I guess not… But I guess I also didn't expect you to be so prepared either. It's almost like you knew in a 'matter-of-fact' sort of way that you were going to be sleeping over last night." she replies.

"You're right," Elliot says in a cocky tone, walking over to the chair. "And I plan on sleeping over tonight as well, if that's okay with you."

Olivia was taken back by his last statement. Usually they would make love, and Elliot would be gone by sunrise. This wasn't like him. This wasn't like _them_. He turns, reaching for his shirt when Olivia sees thin red, parallel lines, extending from the middle of his back to each of his shoulder blades.

She covers her mouth with both hands, and lets out a small gasp.

"Jesus, did I do that?"

Elliot looks puzzled at first, but then he follows her eyes to his back side and nods.

"Oh yeah. That would be your work on my back, sweetheart. This isn't the first time you've marked me up either. You're a wild one," he says, chuckling while slipping his arm through one of the sleeves on his shirt.

Olivia turns her head to the side, blushing, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

Looking down at her clothed thighs she says quietly, "You've done your fair share of leaving me with red marks too, Stabler. I'd say we're pretty even."

Elliot pauses then walks over to her.

"I have?" he asks, at a complete loss by her response.

Olivia quickly regrets her statement. She didn't want Elliot feeling like he had victimized her in some way. After all, it was an accident. Elliot would never intentionally hurt her.

"Nothing," Olivia says, shaking her head in attempt to retract her last statement. "Sorry. Forget I said anything, El."

Elliot takes a seat near her on the edge of the bed, and places his hand on her shoulder.

"Liv, I need to know. Please. If I'm hurting you in any way, I want to know," he tells her, clearly concerned.

Olivia focuses her attention on his lips, unable to stare directly into his eyes.

"It's no big deal, Elliot. We get rough sometimes…and sometimes…I'm a little bruised from it afterwards."

Olivia braids her fingers together, and places her hands into her lap, now focusing her attention on her fidgeting fingers.

"Ya know… down there," she admits in a soft tone.

Elliot is stunned by her confession. His eyes become glossy, and Olivia swears she sees a few tear drops threatening to escape from the corners of his eyes. Elliot squeezes his eyelids shut, and he slowly shakes his head, taking in the shame and the guilt.

"Liv, I had no idea. God, baby, I had no idea!"

Furious with himself, he punches his fist hard into the mattress, causing Olivia to jump slightly.

Olivia takes his hand, and caresses it.

"Elliot, I know. Trust me, I know."

Elliot bows his head.

"God, you must think I'm some kind of monster. How could I hurt you like that, Liv? How could I abuse your body like that?" he says, the pain obvious in his voice.

It broke Olivia's heart seeing Elliot beat himself up over this.

"You're not a monster. Elliot, I'm okay," Olivia reassures him, placing her hand gently under his chin, and lifting his head up until their eyes met. "I'm fine."

They gaze into each others eyes for a moment, neither saying a word until Elliot's phone breaks the silence. He grabs it off the night stand, flipping it open, and looking at the screen.

"Kathy," he whispers, throwing his head back. "Dammit!"

Olivia figured Elliot would cover his ass; claim that he was working all night on a difficult case, and that he spent the night in the crib. She was completely flabbergasted after what came next.

"Yeah, Kath," Elliot answers. Olivia could hear her speaking through the phone, but could not interpret what she was saying.

She guessed that it was along the lines of _"Why didn't you come home last night?"_ or _"Where have you been?"_

"At Olivia's," Elliot says into the phone.

Olivia snaps her head toward Elliot, dropping her jaw in utter shock.

"What are you doing?" She mouths to Elliot, barely making a sound.

Elliot could read her lips, but seemed unfazed by the fact that he was telling his wife that he had been at his partner's apartment this entire time, a partner that Kathy envied and often times despised because of the 'more than partners' relationship she suspected they had.

Elliot rolls his eyes and continues speaking while Olivia roughly tugs on his arm, near his biceps. She didn't know how else to react to this.

"Well, what do you want me to say, Kathy? I needed to be here for her and that's exactly what I did."

Olivia quickly snatches the phone away from him, and presses the speaker button. She couldn't believe he was doing this shit, and _needed_ to hear Kathy's response.

_"What she needs?"_ Kathy yells into the phone.

_"Elliot! What about what __I__ need?"_ she questions him, her voice full of venom.

"Kathy, I don't know what to tell ya. I'm just trying to be straightforward with you."

Olivia covers her mouth with both hands.

_Was this really happening?_ She couldn't believe what she was hearing. _Were her ears deceiving her?_

_"Fuck being straightforward, Elliot! You are NOT married to Olivia, Elliot, you're married to ME!"_

Elliot maintains his same calm tone, bringing the argument to a quick end.

"Kathy, we will talk about this later. I promise you that. But I am not going to get into a screaming match with you right now over the phone. Tonight I'll drop by and we can-"

Kathy hangs up the phone before Elliot even has the opportunity to finish his sentence.

He flips the phone closed and looks over at Olivia. She sits there stunned, her eyes wide in disbelief. Her breathing is labored as she speaks.

"Sh- Shit, Elliot… Wh- Wha- What did you just do?" she whispers.

Elliot tosses the phone on the bed, and shrugs his shoulders.

"El…Elliot, do you _know_ what you just did?"

Elliot nods his head. "

Yeah, I told her the truth."

Olivia's eyes follow Elliot's lips as he speaks. She needed another one of her fifth senses to confirm that her ears weren't deceiving her. She still couldn't believe what just happened.

"What are you going to do now? What are _we_ going to do?" Olivia pulls at her hair, and then drops her hands hard into her lap.

While trying to process the situation, Olivia removes herself from the bed, and begins to walk in circles around the room. She felt suffocated sitting down. She wonders if she's on the brink of having a panic attack.

Seeing her anxious state, Elliot walks over to her, obstructing her path, and placing both of his hands onto her shoulders.

"Elliot, Move," she tells him, twiddling her fingers.

"Olivia, tell me what's wrong. This is what we both wanted," Elliot says, lightly shaking her shoulders.

Olivia looks up at the ceiling, raising no verbal objections to his last statement. She honestly didn't know what she wanted or needed. She loved Elliot, however, she was not prepared to risk her job at this time.

Furthermore, she was uncomfortable with even the thought of breaking up the Stabler family. The kids. _Oh shit! His kids!_

Olivia sidesteps, dodging his body and walking past him, looking out her window.

"El, what about your family? Fuck, what have we done?" She turns from the window, and continues pacing back and forth.

Elliot stops her from pacing once again.

"Liv, this marriage is over! That has nothing to do with you. I knew for a very long time that this wasn't working… long before any of this ever happened!"

Olivia bites her bottom lip, and stops to listen to what he was telling her.

"And my kids? Liv, I want them to have a good life! It hurts them to see us constantly fighting. And Liv, that's all Kathy and I ever do!"

Olivia looks into his eyes. He sounded sincere.

Nonetheless, even if everything he was proclaiming were true, she couldn't see how their partnership would survive this romance. She couldn't imagine continuing this relationship at work. _Oh fuck! Work!_

Olivia was so taken back by Elliot's spontaneous confession to Kathy that she nearly forgot about Grant Meyers. She forgot about the entire case, and most importantly, she forgot about her life being in potential danger. All of this was happening entirely too fast, and she couldn't decide which issue she should be focusing on at the moment.

"El, I don't think this was the right time," she tells him while wiping her sweaty palms onto her thin pajama pants.

"Well when is the right time, Olivia? Huh? When is the right time?"Elliot questions her.

Olivia begins pacing again, filled with nervous energy. She couldn't tell if the nervous energy was coming from her issue with Elliot or from the constant fear she had that Grant Meyers was hunting her down like prey.

"I don't know, Elliot… when a rapist and serial killer isn't on my tail, for one. That would've probably been a better time."

That statement alone gave Elliot one more reason to hate Grant Meyers. It wasn't enough that he was instilling worry and fear into Olivia, but he terrified her to such a great extent that she was basing major life decisions on him. Elliot balled his fists tight as Grant's image popped into his head.

At the moment, Elliot was seriously contemplating hunting Grant down and putting a round of bullets in him. He didn't care about Grant's true intentions. He didn't care if Grant's true motive was to kill Olivia or just to spook Olivia. He wanted him dead.

Everything was suddenly becoming clear to Elliot. He made a secret vow to himself to love Olivia no matter what and to protect her at all costs.

_**THE PLOT THICKENS DRASTICALLY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. PLEASE COMMENT/REVIEW FOR MORE! THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET SERIOUS! THANKS ;)**_


	4. Chapter 4

Elliot and Olivia enter the squad room together, walking over to their desks and removing their jackets. Munch and Fin each look up from the mess of paperwork in front of them. Munch raises his eyebrow at Fin, and Fin smirks while shaking his head.

Munch knows that Elliot and Olivia were much more than just partners, and decides not to let them off easy. He fucks with them just to see their reactions.

"Elliot you're such a good partner, driving_ all_ the way from Queens to pick Olivia up, and taking her _all_ the way to work. Fin, how come you never do anything like that for me?" Munch asks, facing toward Fin, and stroking on his nonexistent beard.

Fin takes a sip of his coffee, ignoring Munch. He was not going to be apart of Munch's games, but he still couldn't contain the growing smirk on his face. Munch knew that Elliot and Olivia had spent the night together. He could see it on their faces.

"You must have to wake up at an unbelievable hour in order to get ready, drive all the way to Olivia's, and arrive to work on time."

Elliot and Olivia give each other a nervous glance before taking their seats.

"Mm-hm," Elliot quietly responds, avoiding Munch's eyes.

"Yeah, I bet," Munch adds.

He wasn't going to fuck around with them for too much longer, but he couldn't resist teasing them a bit more.

"What time did you have to wake up today?" he asks, smiling at Fin who looked equally amused.

Elliot pauses, calculating a time in his head that would convince Munch.

"Um, five… I think."

_Shut the fuck up, Munch! _

Elliot stares over at Olivia as she rubs the back of her neck. She was clearly uncomfortable with Munch's line of questioning, and her nervousness showed.

"Oh wow, that's impressive," Munch responds, leaning back in his chair.

"That's some commitment! Gee, I wish Fin and I were that close."

Elliot quickly gets up from his chair, rushing over to the coffee table.

"Olivia, would you like me to pour you some coffee," he asks, changing the subject.

"Yeah, thanks. Coffee sounds good," Olivia responds, just as anxious to change the subject as Elliot is.

Cragen enters the room, and sees smiles plastered across Munch and Fin's faces.

"Did I miss the joke?" he asks, while staring over at Elliot and Olivia who didn't seem the least bit amused.

"What's up, Cap?" Fin interjects, not wanting to give the Captain any ideas.

"Grant Meyers…" Cragen begins, causing Olivia to snap her head up in his direction. "Any news on him?" Cragen asks.

Olivia's entire body visibly relaxes, after she discovers that the Captain had nothing new to say about him.

"Still workin' on him. This guy is smart, Cap'n," Elliot responds as he walks over to Olivia, and hands her the coffee mug. "This perp makes no mistakes."

"Yet," Olivia says, correcting him.

It was another long night at the 1-6. They worked late into the evening, through dinner, and hadn't come any closer to pinning the rapes and murders on Grant Meyers. Olivia was experiencing several emotions, and it drove her insane. She was frustrated, angry, nervous, terrified, and physically and mentally exhausted. She would have been happy with just two or three of those feelings.

"Let's hit the bar," she tells Elliot, looking up from the stack of papers on her desk.

"The bar?" Elliot replies, yawning. "How about bed? Aren't you sleepy, Olivia?"

Olivia lets out a tired breath and shrugs her shoulders.

"Yeah, but what's the point? Even if I do go to bed, I won't be getting any actual sleep."

It amazed Elliot that Olivia was still able to function given the little amount of sleep she often got. Even when they weren't dealing with Grant Meyers, it would take hours for Olivia to give into sleep.

_Except for…._ Elliot can't help but to think of the times when he and Olivia would have passionate sex, and immediately after, Olivia would fall fast asleep. Even last night, without the sex, Olivia fell quickly to sleep.

Elliot tilts his head to the side as he tries to remember a time that Olivia had difficulty sleeping when he was around. She told him numerous times that she had trouble sleeping, but he had never personally seen it for himself.

_Does she sleep better when I'm with her? _Elliot wonders.

"Let's head out," Olivia says, cocking her head toward the exit.

**Location: Larry's Bar**

"Woah, Liv, slow down there!" Elliot warns her as he watches Olivia chug her drink down.

"I'm a big girl, Elliot," Olivia says, placing her glass down onto the bar.

Elliot knew that Olivia could handle her drinks, but he was uncomfortable with the idea of Olivia drinking to forget her troubles. Generally, when they went out for drinks, Olivia would finish each glass, but it would take her some time.

Tonight she was rushing the liquid down her throat, and every few minutes, asking the bar tender for another. Elliot was okay with watching after her, and even okay with carrying her home if he needed to, but he saw the pain and hated that she was reacting to it this way.

"You worry too much," Olivia said, reading him like a book.

Olivia suddenly stops drinking and stares into the distance.

"Had a little too much, huh?" Elliot says, nodding his head. "I told ya."

Olivia sits there frozen, her mouth open slightly. Elliot's heart begins pounding into his chest. _Something's wrong._

He follows the path leading from Olivia's eyes over to the opposite end of the bar, and sees Grant Meyers sitting, watching the small television that was attached to the wall. Elliot's mood alters from worried to furious as he slowly begins to remove himself from his seat. Olivia grabs his arm, pulling him back down onto the bar stool.

"What are you doing?" she whispers to him, panicked.

"What do you mean, what am I doing, Liv? I'm going over there!"

Elliot begins to stand again, and Olivia pulls him back down.

"What are you going do?" Olivia asks him.

Elliot didn't understand why Olivia was preventing him from walking over there.

"I'll decide what I'm gonna do when I get over there," Elliot tells her, staring into her terrified eyes.

"Elliot, you can't! That won't solve anything. By law, he's still innocent. What are you going to do, rough him up? Give him a bloody nose? Elliot, sit down!" she orders him in a loud whisper.

Elliot listens to her, but refuses to stay calm.

"You're defending this guy? Liv, do you think his being here is a coincidence? That sick fuck is following you!"

Olivia puts her pointer finger over her lips in attempt to silence Elliot. She didn't want to attract attention from everyone to this situation, and most importantly she didn't want to attract Grant's attention.

"I'm a smart woman, El. I know why he's here. But he hasn't made any threats to me, Elliot. It's fucked up, but there's nothing we can do about it! Plus, he probably _wants_ you to go over there."

Olivia stops talking and tenses a little as Grant leaves his seat and begins to walk their way.

"Hey! Detectives! Long time, no see!" he says in the same cheerful tone he had at the coffee shop.

Elliot clinches his fists and remains quiet. It took all of his strength not to pulverize Grant right here and now. If it weren't for Olivia stopping him, Grant would be beaten into a bloody pulp by now.

"Why so glum?" Grant asks, glancing over at Elliot. "Who died?"

Olivia felt sick to her stomach. There was something revolting about a rapist and murderer asking, 'Who died?' Grant stares into Olivia's eyes and watches her squirm from the discomfort. _He loved it._

"You're looking gorgeous as always, detective."

That was the last straw for Elliot. He swings a right hook at Grant, landing it on his jaw, and knocking him into the bar stools.

"You son of a bitch! Come here!" Elliot yells, lifting Grant up by his shirt, and swinging on him again. He punches Grant near the corner of his eye, and hears a satisfying crunch as his fist collided with his facial bones.

Olivia jumps in between them and begins wrestling with Elliot's arm. Elliot unintentionally lifts her off the ground as she swings from his arm. He tries to release his arm from her tight grip, and Olivia slowly begins to lose the little control she had over him.

"Elliot, stop! You got him. You got him! Now Stop!"

It took all of her strength and nearly her entire body weight to finally contain one of Elliot's arms. When he was full of rage, he was twice as powerful. She knew that if this brawl went any further that she and Elliot would pay severely for it.

If Grant pressed charges, Elliot would already be in enough trouble as it is. Grant never laid a finger on Elliot. Olivia was able to stop his arms from swinging, but couldn't stop his mouth from running.

"You mother fucker! If you so much as look at her again, I'll kill you!"

Grant lifts himself off the ground, his mouth bloodied and bruises already forming on his jaw and near his eye. He laughs, seeming amused by the entire situation.

"Just thought I'd give the lady a complement…That's all," Grant responds, wiping the blood from his mouth with his sleeve.

"Yeah, is that so? Fuck you, pal! I heard you give numbers out to the ladies too!" Elliot yells as Olivia continues to hold him back.

Grant grins and stares into Olivia eyes.

"She was into me. What can I say? I'm an attractive man. Sometimes I have no choice but to give the ladies a fake number…or they'll all be after me."

Olivia stares into Grant's eyes, stunned by what he just claimed.

"_I _came onto _you_?" Olivia asks, even though she already knew that Grant didn't believe his own bullshit.

"Don't be shy, Olivia. You don't have to lie in front of him," Grant says in a soothing tone, cocking his head at Elliot.

"You're full of shit," Olivia whispers, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Don't be afraid of this man, Olivia. He abuses you, doesn't he? I saw the way he just manhandled you. Keep your hands off of her, Dectective!" Grant firmly commands with a look of concern on his face.

Olivia feels Elliot resisting her again. She was actually proud of him for not lifting her up, putting her to the side, and beating the shit out of Grant. She knew that if he really wanted to, he could easily get past her. Olivia grabs Elliot's hand, attempting to calm him down a bit more. His hand was on fire, and his face was red with fury.

"I'll protect you from him, Olivia. You have nothing to fear," Grant added.

_How ironic._ The man that Elliot was protecting Olivia from was offering to protect her. Elliot faces in the opposite direction. He felt that if he looked at Grant for a second longer, he would have no choice but to take another swing at him or even worse, kill him.

"Elliot, let's go," Olivia says, gripping his hand harder.

"Good girl," Grant says, winking at her. Grant looks around the bar, pleased at the crowd of people that witnessed the chaos that Elliot just created.

Elliot follows Olivia as she leads him out of the bar.

"See you around, LIV!" Grant yelled behind them, sending chills down her spine as they made their exit.

**Location: Olivia's apartment**

Elliot had considered talking to Kathy tonight, but he put that plan on hold after their encounter with Grant. There was no way in hell that he was going to leave Olivia alone tonight, not for a second. He stared at the ceiling above him, and felt the other half of the bed slightly dipping as Olivia climbed in.

Olivia laid on her side, staring at the side of his face. Elliot was furious, and she couldn't help but giggle inside. He was so adorable when he was pissed. Elliot rolls to his side, facing Olivia. He focuses on her lips and sees a small smirk_. He couldn't fucking believe it! _

Not more than an hour ago she ran into Meyers, and now she was laying here with a smile on her face. He stares at her, his eyebrows slanted.

"I'm sorry, Elliot. You're just so damn cute when you're angry," she says, giggling.

He shakes his head, unable to believe how brave she was being about everything. She was so strong. Meyers was focused on her, and here she was in bed fucking laughing!

"Liv, do you not remember anything that happened tonight?" Elliot asks.

Olivia ignores his question, and continues smiling. As often as she fought with Elliot about staying out of her business, she loved it when he was protective of her. She snakes her hand under his shirt and rubs her knuckles across Elliot's lower abs.

"Pissed or not, Olivia, I wouldn't be touching me right now if I were you. I may be pissed off, but if you continue touching me, I'm going to get turned on," Elliot says, grabbing Olivia's hand and removing it from underneath his shirt.

He figured that Olivia just wanted to be a little affectionate, but that she didn't want to cross any other boundaries given her circumstance. However, he wouldn't be able to resist her if she kept putting her hands on him. Olivia lets out a small laugh.

"What? Are you on strike now? Refusing me sex until Meyers is caught?" she laughs again, mocking him.

Elliot looks into her beautiful brown eyes. Olivia never ceases to amaze him. Out of all nights to have sex, she wanted him tonight. Olivia snakes her hand back under Elliot's shirt and tugs at his boxers. Elliot's dick immediately begins to harden.

It didn't take much at all for Olivia to turn him on. She slips her hands into his boxers, gripping them around his thick, pulsating cock. Elliot moans, throwing his head back.

"Fuck, Liv. What are you doing?" he pants.

Olivia ignores his remark, and gently tugs on his dick. Elliot's moaning becomes louder as she continues to play with and grope his cock. Olivia feels how hard he is, and repositions herself, leaning up. After tossing the blanket to the side, she slips her fingers in the waistband of his boxers, and pulls them down his legs.

Elliot's dick was sticking straight up like a pole out of the ground. Olivia could feel the sticky wetness in between her legs as she gazed at his massive cock. She begins straddling him when Elliot suddenly stops her.

"You're not going to take your panties off first?"

Olivia smirks and reaches under her oversized, XXL T-shirt, pulling it over her head. Just then Elliot notices that she wasn't wearing any panties! Elliot becomes even stiffer as his eyes focus on her plump breasts, and as he feels her body moving closer and closer to his cock.

Olivia uses her knees to lift herself over Elliot's dick. She hovers over it for a few moments, torturing Elliot as payback for the night before. Without warning, she drops down onto his cock in one swift motion.

"Oh fuck!" Elliot yells out.

Olivia loved the kind of reactions she was able to get out of Elliot. It turns her on even more. She lifts her torso up again until the head of his dick was nearly out of her opening, and then she drops down onto him again.

Elliot jolted from pure pleasure. Olivia moved her hips from side to side while resting on his dick. Elliot's eyes rolled to the back of his head as her inner walls massaged his cock. Olivia's eyes were squeezed shut as her mouth hung open. She would scream at the top of her lungs if she wasn't concerned about waking the neighbors.

Elliot grabs onto Olivia hips, lifting her, and then bringing her back down onto his cock. As Olivia continues to straddle over Elliot, he repeats the motion as she slides up and down his dick. With each motion, Elliot would slide her halfway up before releasing her back down to the base of his dick. Olivia grabs the headboard with both hands for support, causing her breasts to hang and jiggle with each thrust.

Elliot bucks his hips into her, and continues to drive his dick up her. Olivia takes her left hand off of the headboard and bites into it to contain her screams. Elliot lifts her tiny frame up until his dick is completely out of her, only to slam her back down onto his cock.

They both yell out, feeling the gratifying impact. While Olivia is at the base of his cock, Elliot grips his hands tighter on her waist, and performs a circular motion with his arms, swirling her insides around his cock. Olivia remains at the base of his cock, while Elliot moves her tiny waist from front to back and from side to side.

"Elliot… I'm close," Olivia mumbles.

Elliot lifts her waist again and begins pumping in and out of her. Olivia momentarily blacks out from the pleasure, and she throws her head back. Her body jolts with Elliot's as he shoots into her, pumping every last ounce of his juice into her inner walls.

Olivia's body goes completely limp as she collapses onto Elliot, her chin landing above his shoulder. She breathes hard into his ear, as she rises and falls with his chest movements during his labored breathing.

Olivia's breathing slows and she rests her eyelids, shutting them closed. With Elliot still inside her, Olivia lets sleep take her once again. Elliot wraps his arms around the small of her back and peacefully closes his eyes.

_This night had just gone from horrible to magnificent in a matter of minutes. _

**PLEASE REVIEW! GOOD OR BAD. What are your predictions? What parts did you like? The reason I update so quickly is because I just love reading your comments! Thanks people!**


	5. Chapter 5

**NOTE: I took a viewer's advice and spaced the story out differently to make it easier to read. I hope this helps! Any other advice you have, I'd be happy to take. I'm new to the story writin game so don't be bashful! ENJOY! **

Location: The 1-6 precinct

Munch glances over at Olivia and can't help but notice how energized and refreshed she looked as her fingers tapped away at the keyboard in front of her. She was wearing a jet black top, and a new pair of small silver hoop earrings.

Her hair was down and had more bounce to it than normal. She wasn't necessarily smiling, but the smooth skin on her face had a certain glow to it that Munch hadn't seen in months. He knew she was happy.

In recent weeks, Olivia had come into work worn out, her hair thrown into a messy bun, wearing whatever she could find in her closet. Munch was taken back by her fresh appearance because she left the squad room last night, tired and distressed. She had a new boost of energy today and it was no mystery to Munch where she was getting it from.

"Olivia, you're looking… well rested," Munch comments, facing toward Elliot.

Elliot and Olivia smile at each other. It didn't bother them the least bit today that Munch was teasing them and hinting at their romantic relationship. They had too magnificent of a night for them to care or take offense to his teasing. After their unfortunate run-in with Grant, Olivia initiated one of the best sexual experiences that she and Elliot ever had.

After they fucked like two wild animals in heat, they both drifted into a deep sleep, tranquilized by pleasure. They awoke from their sleep, peacefully in each other's arms. Although each had no more than six hours of sleep, they both felt fully rested.

They all peak into Cragen's office as they see two officers shake his hand before walking in and closing the door behind them. Elliot and Olivia's eyes meet.

"What the fuck…?" Elliot mouths to Olivia.

Olivia shrugs her shoulders in response to him. A few moments later, Cragen steps out of his office, a troubled expression on his face.

"Detective Stabler, my office," he orders before turning to walk back in.

Olivia stares into Elliot's eyes, both clearly worried. _This could not be good. _Elliot takes his walk of shame, as he slowly lifts himself from his seat and heads toward Cragen's office.

Olivia listens closely, rolling her chair as close as she could to Cragen's office without looking too obvious. She couldn't make out what they were saying, only hearing soft mumbles. She waits impatiently before Elliot exits the office with the other two officers. He wasn't cuffed, but one of the officers had his hand wrapped around Elliot's upper arm. Olivia stares at Elliot's face, unable to tell if he was more worried than angry.

Not given the opportunity to say his goodbyes, Elliot exits the precinct with both officers escorting him on either of his sides. Olivia's eyes go wide. She quickly panics, standing up from her chair and rushing over to Cragen, Munch and Fin following closely behind her.

"What the hell happened?" she asks, confronting Cragen.

Cragen glances at each of his detectives. He knew that they were not going to accept this news well.

"Elliot's been charged," Cragen tells them.

"What the hell for?" Fin cuts in before Cragen could even finish explaining.

"What was he charged with?" Munch adds.

"Assault and battery."

Munch and Fin both look over at Olivia who didn't seem as puzzled by the charges as they were. They stood there, waiting for her to give an explanation.

"And you just let them take him?" Olivia yells to the Captain.

"It wasn't my call," Cragen says, facing Olivia. "Don't worry, Liv. Kathy will get word of this and probably bail him out in the next few hours."

Olivia shook her head in opposition, but didn't speak. She knew for a fact that the last person Kathy would be bailing out right now was Elliot. She was tempted to disagree with Cragen, but for good reasons, she decided against it.

Olivia knew that the only way Elliot was getting out tonight, was if she bailed him out. Olivia couldn't afford for Elliot to be locked up right now. She couldn't tell if she was more worried about Elliot facing charges and spending time in prison or about not having Elliot there as her safety.

Olivia knew one thing; she wasn't going to wait around all day and continue working while Elliot sat behind bars. She snatches her jacket off of her chair, ignoring Fin and Munch's obvious confusion, and heads out of the squad room. She doesn't waste any time explaining her reason for leaving to her coworkers because she knew that they already knew the answer.

Location: Olivia's apartment

Olivia scrambles through her bank statements as she tries to compute her budget, looking for extra funds she could use to bail Elliot out. She begins searching through the phonebook for the bail office, and after finding the phone number she starts dialing. She jumps and nearly drops the phone into her lap when she hears a knock at the door.

Olivia cautiously walks over to the door, her hand hovering over her gun that was hanging from her belt strap. Her heart begins to beat out of control as she approaches the door.

"Who is it?" she asks firmly, while looking through the peephole.

"It's Deb, your neighbor from apartment 5C," the woman says.

Olivia squints into the peephole and can only make out that the woman was a petite brunette. She didn't recognize her. Hell, she wouldn't be able to recognize _any_ of her neighbors if she had to. The fact that her voice was muffled due to the thickness of the door wasn't helping matters.

"What do you need?" Olivia asks.

"A phone," she replies in a soft tone. "I'm locked out of my apartment. Do you have a phone I could use?"

Olivia rolls her eyes and leans her head against the door. She did not have time to deal with this shit right now.

"Look, ma'am, I'm really busy right now. Is there anybody else you could go to?"

Olivia doesn't hear a response. She puts her eye back up to the peephole to make sure that the woman was still there. Sure enough, the woman was still standing there, not making a sound.

"Is that a _no_?" Olivia asks.

"Please, miss… it will only take me a second. All I need to do is make a quick call to my husband," she pleads.

Olivia softly bangs her forehead against the door in frustration. Not only did she not have time for this, but she didn't want to risk opening her door for too long. Olivia felt paranoid, but she couldn't help it. She was suspicious about everything while Grant Meyers was still running the streets. Just then she thinks of a plan.

"Hold on," she tells the woman. Olivia rushes over to the coffee table, near her sofa, and grabs her cell phone. She figured that she could use her home phone to continue making calls, and just allow the woman to call her husband out in the hallway. _Hell, she doesn't need to come inside to use the phone. _

Olivia cracks the door open, with the chain lock still in place, and she begins to slide the phone through.

"Here, please hurry," Olivia tells her.

Olivia is suddenly thrown back onto her ass as the door bursts open, the chain lock ripping from the wall. She looks up only to see the petite woman drop to her knees, blood gushing from her neck. Olivia screams, and attempts to stand as she sees the woman fall onto her face, dead, her blood creating a puddle on the wooden floor.

"Don't you fucking dare!" she hears a man's voice.

She looks up to see Grant Meyers pointing a gun at her. Olivia holds her breath and her eyes become wide.

"Don't even think about it," Grant warns her, reading her thoughts as he sees her hand approaching the gun on her belt.

"Take it off and slide it over to me," he orders, his tone completely different from the tone he had at the bar and at the coffee shop. His voice was raspy and even deeper than before.

Olivia hesitates, staring into his eyes.

"NOW!" Grant yells, causing Olivia to jump and release a small yelp.

She reaches for her gun with her shaky hand, and tries her best to formulate a plan in her mind. There wasn't enough time. She speaks, attempting to keep her voice steady, but failing miserably.

"L- Listen, Grant -" He immediately cuts her off, taking a few steps forward and raising his voice even more.

"No, you listen to me, you fucking bitch! You're not calling the shots today," he yells, waving his gun at her.

Olivia swallows the lump in her throat as she looks into his cold eyes.

"Now stop stalling, and slide the fucking gun over to me. Try anything smart, and a bullet goes through your skull. Don't fuck with me, Olivia!"

There it was again; her name coming from his mouth. Olivia felt sick just hearing it. She slowly pulls her gun from its holster, sliding it over to Grant, and putting her hands up in surrender.

"Okay… okay… calm down, Grant. Okay? Please, calm down," she whispers, taking shallow breaths.

Grant walks up to her, and crouches down, placing the gun on her right temple. Olivia squeezes her eyes shut as a tear escapes, slowly dripping down her cheek.

"Those will be the _last_ orders you give me. Do you hear me?" he whispers into her ear. "Order me to do something else and I'll beat your ass until you pass out."

As much as Olivia wasn't ready to die, she secretly wished for death to take her. She knew Grant wasn't going to kill her anytime soon. She had been studying his file for months. He never killed his victims on the first day. Olivia bites hard into her lower lip and tries to block out the upcoming events that she predicts will happen.

"Please just kill me," she whispers to herself as all of Grant's victims' cases flood her memory. Olivia knew that death was the least of her worries.

"Kill you?" Grant says, stroking the side of her face with his gun. "Now what would be the fun in that?" he asks, coldly.

More tears escape from Olivia's eyes as she realizes that none of her co-workers would be coming to save her. Elliot was behind bars, and the rest of the team figured she had taken the remainder of the day off to help him. Grant grins as he reads her mind again.

"What's wrong, Olivia? Detective Stabler not coming to save you?" he says in a mocking tone.

"This is his fault. You do know that, don't you?" Olivia slowly shakes her head, and takes her sleeve to her face, wiping away the tears.

"Don't be silly, of course you do," Grant says, extending his hand out and combing his fingers through her hair.

Olivia tenses up. She couldn't stand his touch. She leans her head away from his hand only to have her hair pulled as Grant yanks her back.

"You have a stupid, weak mother fucker for a partner… It amazes me how he fell right into my trap," Grant says, now scratching his scalp using his gun.

"Don't," Olivia whispers, barely audible.

Grant grabs her chin roughly and forces Olivia to face him.

"What did you just say to me?"

Olivia looks to the floor and considers repeating herself. She knew that Grant wouldn't react well to it, but she also knew that the worst thing she could do was break and give into him. Unlike his other victims, Olivia knew that after his victims broke and gave into his commands that Grant became bored with them and killed them off.

She would not make the same mistake. She couldn't die. She couldn't have Elliot living with that guilt. She makes a mental note to be strong; to do whatever she had to do to survive. She knew that she would pay for it, but she couldn't appear weak in front of Grant this early on.

"I said don't," she repeats.

Grant looks at her and smiles. _He never had a bitch repeat herself after being threatened with a beating. This bitch was going to be a lot of fun. _

Olivia prepares herself for an attack, shutting her eyes, but it never comes.

"I can't wait for some alone time with you," he tells her, still smiling.

"We're not going to have our fun time right now. I wouldn't want to disturb the neighbors."

Olivia turns to him, shocked and scared shitless. Grant Meyers spent days with his victims, but in their own homes. He had never taken them to a different location until after he killed them, leaving their bodies in the open for others to find. Olivia now knows that she's a threat to Grant. If she wasn't a threat, he wouldn't feel the need to take her from her home.

Olivia had actually been looking forward to Grant trying to restrain her in her own apartment. She may not have believed that she could escape, but she definitely knew that she could do enough to alarm other people. Now her chances of doing that were slim to none. She had only a fraction of the time to do what she planned on doing over the next few hours.

"Scream and you'll have more victims on your hands," Grant warns her, walking over to the dead woman's body and kicking her in the face.

Olivia felt like she would be sick right then and there. She couldn't believe that Grant was still abusing this woman's lifeless body.

"Fuck, stop! Please! She's dead already! Leave her alone!" Olivia couldn't control herself.

"Oh shit, she _is_ dead!" Grant agrees, laughing and pretending to be surprised.

His mood quickly changes as he abruptly stops laughing, his face now serious and his tone harsh.

"…And unless you want any other people to die… you will do _exactly_ what I say."

Olivia stares at the dead woman's face. Her own guilt was having her to believe that had she not opened the door, the woman would still be alive. That was completely false. Had Olivia ignored her knocks, Grant would have slit her throat in the same manner, maybe even sooner. He wouldn't risk that woman running to the cops.

"Okay," Olivia says timidly, bowing her head and looking to the floor.

No other people were going to die because of her mistakes.

_**PLEASE REVIEW! Comments, predictions, questions, etc. THANKS! I'll continue to update quickly if you keep commenting. I Promise. **_


	6. Chapter 6

Grant yanks Olivia up to her feet, his hand clawing into her upper arm. He jerks her arm forward, nearly dislocating her shoulder as he pushes her in the direction of her bedroom.

"Walk," he commands her.

Olivia does as she is told, but slowly drags her feet, thinking of ways she could stall time, delaying the inevitable. Grant kicks his leg out in front of Olivia, and pushes his right hand hard into her back.

Olivia trips over his leg, falling, and she catches herself with her hands. Her right wrist explodes in pain as her hands collide with the hard floor.

She brings her wrist to her chest, clutching it with the opposite hand. She's definite that her wrist is sprained if not broken. She lets out a small cry as she continues to hold her throbbing wrist.

"Get the fuck up," Grant orders her with not an ounce of sympathy for the pain he had just caused. "Don't fuck around, and you won't get hurt. NOW GET UP!"

Olivia slowly stands to her feet, wincing in pain, her hand still clutching the injured wrist. She doesn't turn to face Grant, and continues walking toward the bedroom.

Still impatient with her speed, Grant pushes both of his hands into her back to hurry her along. Olivia stumbles, and picks up her pace before entering her room.

She turns to face Grant, waiting for his next move. She remains silent, but pleads with her eyes Grant not to hurt her. Soaking in her fear, Grant laughs and shakes his head.

"You're fucking petrified already, but the games haven't even begun yet, sweetheart."

Grant walks over to her dresser, opening the top drawer. He fumbles through her panty drawer before tossing some of the panties over his shoulder, purposely hitting Olivia in the face with one of them.

Just then, Olivia observes that Grant isn't wearing any gloves. Ever since he broke into her apartment, he's made no attempt to cover his tracks.

Grant was always smart, leaving no evidence behind that the detectives could use to pin him to his crimes. The fact that he was being so sloppy made Olivia uneasy. It was almost as if this was Grant's big finale.

He slams the drawer shut, using so much force that it makes Olivia slightly jump. He roughly grabs Olivia's injured wrist, causing her to yell out once more, and he pulls Olivia toward her closet. In the same manner that he did her panty drawer, Grant carelessly starts ripping her clothes from their hangers, and tossing them across the room.

Olivia was past the point of confusion. Grant wasn't packing any of her clothes, just creating a mess. Olivia searched for reasons why Grant would be wasting time, cluttering her apartment with no actual intention of bringing any of her belongings with them. Grant pulls out a blouse from her closet, presenting it to Olivia.

"This isn't a little too low-cut for work?" he asks her, holding the hanger up. "I've seen some of the shit you wear on the job. You interrogate perverts all day so who are you trying to impress?"

Olivia doesn't answer him. She just stares into his green eyes, blinking.

"You're such a fucking whore," he scolds her, throwing the blouse into her face.

Olivia was already fed up with Grant. She was gradually changing from fearful to livid.

"I may have low-cut blouses, but it beats being complete scum any day. You're a rapist and a murder and you have the _nerve _to accuse me of being a whore… as if it even compares." Olivia's voice was steady and firm as if she was back at the precinct, interrogating a suspect.

Grant looks down at her, surprised. He smiles at her, but he was furious inside. He knows he must gain control back quickly, and place Olivia at the same level of fear that she was on just moments ago. He looks down at his gun that was tucked away in his pants, and considers threatening her with it.

He decides against it and takes a step closer to Olivia. Olivia doesn't even back away as he closes in on the distance between them. She was too pissed to feel threatened.

She doesn't react until Grant wraps his arms around her waist, and pulls her body toward him. Olivia feels the bulge in his pants as he brings his rough lips to her ears.

"Do you feel that?" he whispers as he presses against her.

Olivia lets out a small, soft cry as she feels his erection on her front side.

"I can't wait to be inside you, you little whore," Grant whispers as his hot breath invades her ear.

Grant knew that this would do more damage to Olivia than waving his gun at her. He needed to remind her what was to come. He sees that his approach worked as he stares into Olivia's glossy eyes. The same terrified look returns to her face as she drops her head in defeat.

Content with her current state, Grant whips his gun out and shows it to her.

"My car is downstairs. We're gonna walk outta here, and you're not gonna say a word. If we run into anybody, and I even _suspect _that you've warned them in some way…" He shoves the gun underneath her chin to emphasize his next point. "I'll kill them… without a second thought."

Olivia swallows hard as she thinks about the woman lying dead in the next room. Tears gather in the corners of her eyes, not in reaction to Grant's threat, but in mourning for his latest victim.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, not necessarily to Grant, but to the innocent woman who she believed died because of her screw-up.

Grant tucks his gun back into his pants, and grabs Olivia's hand, guiding her out of the apartment.

**Location: Grant's Car**

Olivia sat in the passenger seat, looking hopelessly out the side window as she and Grant rode by building after building.

She had been contemplating jumping out of the car, but she knew that it wouldn't end well as long as Grant's right hand was wrapped around the gun in his lap. Every now and then Grant would squeeze it as if to remind himself or Olivia that it was there.

Olivia glances over at her abductor and can't help but to smile a little as she sees the purple bruises on his face that Elliot had so generously given him the night before. Grant notices Olivia staring at his face from the corner of his eye, and snaps his head toward her only to see her smirking.

_He was fucking pissed. _

Here he was, abducting a woman, and taking her to God knows where, and she was sitting there with a fucking smile on her face! Grant felt as if he had lost every inch of control that he had over her.

He decides not to wait, and begins torturing her with his words while in the car.

"I'm debating in my head what I would like to do first…" he begins as if he was casually talking about his weekend plans. "It's frustrating to me because there are so many possibilities and I can't choose one yet."

Olivia breaks her smile, and continues to stare at Grant, now confused.

"I guess I can take you inside and beat you with my bare hands… I'm thinkin' that would be a lot of fun because I know you won't be able to fight me. You're too weak. That's not your fault though…You're a woman… I just _love_ punching women… slapping them… kicking them…choking them…throwing them around…ya know?"

Olivia faces toward the road, and gives a blank stare out the window, into the distance ahead of her. She continues to listen to him, however, the sound of her heart beating against her chest was making it somewhat difficult for her to hear.

"…Or I could use somethin' on ya. A belt. A whip maybe. Ya see, a whip would probably do a lot more damage to you, but I'm not so sure if whipping you will be as fun as beating you with my own bare hands. I'm not even sure if I own a whip anymore. Hmm…maybe I will just throw at you whatever I can find. A Vase. A glass bottle maybe? Picture frames…Pots, pans… "

Grant doesn't seem the least bit angry as he continues to debate his wicked thoughts out loud. The expression on his face was similar to that of someone who was telling a story.

He glances over at Olivia who sits frozen in fear with silent tears now streaming down the sides of her face. Grant smiles with his eyes as he sees that his words are finally getting to her.

"Once I filled up a bath tub, and I stuck a bitch under the water until she turned blue…Casey. Her name was Casey. I didn't drown her, but it came close to that… after the little 'bath' I gave her, she never disrespected me again. Ever."

Olivia bows her head and stares into her lap, attempting to block him out. It seems the harder she tries to block him out, the more his words penetrate into her ears.

"Yeah, I like fire too. But you already know that, don't you? You know Jackie, don't you? I'm sure you found the burns on her skin after that whore's body was recovered… I tied her to a chair and lit up a cigarette…I'm sure that you can guess what happened after that, right?" Grant asks, glancing over at Olivia for a short second.

"And _no_, I didn't smoke it if _that's_ what you are thinking… Then again, I don't know how noticeable tiny cigarette burns are after a body has been torched. Jackie's was burned to a crisp, remember? Ya know what?... I've never tried starving a bitch before… it's not like I haven't wanted to, I have… it's just that I haven't kept a bitch long enough for them to feel what _true_ hunger really is. Do you think we should try that on you, Olivia? You don't look like much of an eater though. Do you think starving you would work? "

He stares over at Olivia and sees that her pants are soaked with tears as her head is bowed. He shrugs after receiving no answer from her and continues speaking.

"You're right, Olivia… I guess it doesn't really matter which one I do first because I can eventually try them all. You're so right," Grant says, nodding his head in agreement even though Olivia hadn't spoken a single word.

"I never….NEVER have sex with a bitch first…never…I wait until they break. I enjoy beating bitches, don't get me wrong, but not during sex. Everything else comes first because by the time I am done… you will be _begging_ for me to be inside you… You called me a rapist earlier, but that's not true… each bitch came to me _willingly_…just like you will."

Olivia's entire body begins to tremble. She couldn't take too much more of his abuse. She decides that a beating would be child's play compared to the torture that she was experiencing right now.

"I own an iron which I feel is one of the best ways to break a bitch. I'd plug that sucker in and -" Olivia cuts him off before he could continue.

"STOP! PLEASE STOP!" she cries out. "I get it okay? I understand! Please just stop, Grant," she pleads as she begins to sob harder.

She tries to contain her sobs as she finds it harder and harder to breathe. Grant's dick becomes stiff as he absorbs it all in. He had never been able to get such a reaction just by talking. He'd usually have to inflict physical pain for a woman to cry out like that.

"Okay, okay, calm down," he says, chuckling.

Olivia couldn't tell if Grant was using his words to threaten and torture her or to warn her about all the events ahead. The truth was, she really didn't want to know.

Her sobs get softer and the car goes silent. Grant smiles, satisfied with what he had just accomplished.

"Jeez, I didn't even get to the good part yet," he adds to inflict more emotional pain on her.

Truthfully, Grant had nothing more to say. He was out of torture ideas and stories. However, he knew that Olivia would sit there and torment herself with her own thoughts, while thinking of other forms of torture that Grant had not yet mentioned.

Grant was right. Working in the Special Victims Unit, and encountering victims day after day, Olivia's mind overflowed with countless possibilities of what Grant could do to her. She closes her eyes as all the victims and images flash before her.

_**REVIEW PLEASE! PREDICTIONS, COMMENTS, QUESTIONS, CRITISMS, ETC…..**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all of your awesome comments. For the few of you who have chosen to stop reading past this point because of the way Grant has treated Olivia, that's fine. I love writing suspenseful, angsty, and depressing themed stories, but I wouldn't want you reading anything that makes you uncomfortable. Some people can take this kinda shit, some can't. I don't want to make any promises to you because I do NOT like giving away my story. I can't tell you if Elliot's coming, if Grant will hurt Olivia some more, etc because I do NOT want you to know! LOL Any clues or information I choose to give will be included in the story. Thanks again, guys! Glad you like it :D**

Olivia waits quietly in the passenger seat, spaced out, completely detached from reality. She wasn't sure of their exact location, but she knew that it couldn't be far. She and Grant had only been riding in the car for no more than an hour.

After sitting through Grant's emotional abuse, Olivia stopped paying attention to street signs, turns, and other clues that would assist her in knowing their whereabouts. Instead, her mind was cluttered with images of torture and what was to come.

As she feels their speed slowing, she snaps out of her daze and takes in her surroundings. Wherever they were, it was obviously a low-end part of town.

The homes around them were in poor shape, with peeling paint, chipped bricks, and some with missing roof shingles.

Olivia moves her face slightly to examine the neighborhood and she feels the tight skin on her face, produced by her dried tears.

The car stops and Grant grabs his gun, and presses it hard into her thigh.

"Don't get cute," he warns her. "Even if you tried to scream or run… nobody here would help you."

Olivia faces Grant and nods her head slightly.

"Even so… if I see that people are the least bit suspicious, I'll kill them. You hear me? Even if it's a child, I'll kill them. Try me," he says, pressing the gun harder into her thigh.

"Okay," Olivia answers in a soft tone.

"Don't move," Grant orders, as he removes his keys from the ignition and exits the car.

He comes around to Olivia's side of the car, and opens her door. He offers her his hand, which she accepts while climbing out of the car.

Grant closes the passenger door, and begins guiding Olivia up the sidewalk that leads to a house.

Olivia's both relieved and disappointed as she looks around and sees no people close by. It was still the early part of the day so Olivia figured that everyone must have been either at work or school.

She realizes that her chances of anybody helping her have decreased, but she is thankful that there is nobody around for Grant to hurt or kill.

They step onto the porch and Grant reaches his hand out, ringing the house doorbell. Olivia looks up at him, confusion plastered across her face.

"What? You didn't think I'd be taking you to _my_ house did you?" Grant asks.

Olivia doesn't answer him and faces back toward the door. The door swings open and man answers. Olivia guesses that the man was in his mid forties.

He had brown, greasy hair with a few gray specks. He obviously hadn't shaven in weeks because he was beginning to grow a stubby beard.

"I thought you wouldn't be by until later?" he asks Grant.

"The stupid bitch went to her home earlier than I expected," Grant responds, while pushing past the man and pulling Olivia inside the house with him.

Olivia looks around the house and gags after taking in its strong stench. She wasn't surprised that the house reeked because it was a complete mess, cluttered with trash.

She looks into the kitchen attached to the living room, and sees empty beer bottles on the counter, along with old fast food wrappers.

"Where'd you find this princess," the man asks, observing the look of disgust on Olivia's face.

"Don't worry about it," Grant responds. "She ain't got nothin' to do with you. Just show us where we will be staying and stay out of our way."

Olivia realizes that this man was obviously not here to help her, but she decides that maybe if he knew that she was a cop, he would reconsider letting Grant keep her here.

She decides that she has nothing to lose and begins to identify herself.

"I'm Olivia Benson," she says, surprising Grant.

"Shut the fuck up!" Grant snaps.

Olivia continues and speaks faster to assure that she would be able to fully identify herself.

"I- I'm a cop. I'm a cop. I work in Manhattan…Special Victims Unit. If you let him do this, you could be facing a lot of trouble -"

Before she could continue to warn the man, Grant takes his gun, whipping it hard across her face. Olivia nearly falls to the floor before Grant catches her, clinging onto her shirt.

He pulls her up to both feet, violently shaking her, his hand now gripped tight around the collar of her shirt.

"What the HELL did I just tell you?" Grant yells, shaking Olivia again, so roughly that he momentarily lifts her off the ground.

The man interrupts them.

"Fuck, Grant! A COP? Are you crazy?"

Grant releases Olivia and her hands immediately go to her neck which was now sore from her shirt collar being ground against it. Grant faces the man.

"This isn't up for negotiation, Roy! It doesn't matter who she is! You owe me this and you know it! Now show me to the room!" Grant yells.

Roy sighs, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Okay, cool down. I'll still help you out. But Jesus, man, a cop?"

Roy starts walking, leading them down the nearby hallway.

Still furious with her outburst, Grant pulls rougher than necessary on Olivia's arm as they follow closely behind him.

Roy stops at a door on the right.

"Here it is," he tells them while opening the door to the bedroom.

The bedroom contained floral wallpaper and a queen sized bed with a floral blanket. The room was old fashioned with two antique-like dressers in its left corners and an old, worn wooden floor.

Roy glances over to Olivia and notices the horrified expression on her face.

"Help me," she mouths to him.

Roy swallows hard and looks away from her face.

"You need anything else?" he asks, turning to Grant.

"No," Grant answers. "This should be fine."

Roy begins to walk away and Olivia decides to try one final time, now yelling out to him.

"Please! Please don't let him do this! Roy, Please!" she pleads to him.

Grant quickly wraps his hand around her face, clasping his rough palms onto her lips.

"I said shut up. SHUT UP!" he yells before pushing her into the bedroom.

Roy stops in his tracks for a few moments before reluctantly walking back in the direction of the living room.

Grant enters the bedroom, slamming the door, causing the walls to shake. His face was red with fury and his fists were clinched tight. Olivia makes her way to the farthest side of the bed, guarding herself behind it.

**Location: The 1-6 Precinct**

Fin walks over to Cragen's office, gently knocking on the open door.

"Come on in," Cragen answers before Fin approaches his desk.

"Hey, Cap. Heard any news on Elliot yet?"

Cragen shakes his head.

"I got nothin'. Try Olivia or Kathy."

"We tried Liv a couple times… she's not pickin' up the phone," Fin responds, disregarding Cragen's Kathy suggestion.

"Give it an hour or two, she'll answer. She's probably tied up right now, looking for the quickest way to bail him out," Cragen says.

"I guess," Fin answers, shrugging.

Cragen glances up at Fin's face and notices his uneasiness as Fin looks down, placing his hands into his pockets.

"What's wrong, Fin? Elliot's going to be just fine. He's never been convicted before… and he has several men in blue that will vouch for him. Stop worrying about it," Cragen says, reassuring him.

"It's not Elliot that I'm worried about," Fin responds. "I don't like Liv not answering her phone while this Meyers character is around."

"The suspect that's pressing the charges? Why? You think he'll go after Olivia for this?" Cragen asks.

"No, I think he's had a hard-on for Liv before all of this," Fin answers. "Liv ran into him at the coffee shop the other morning, and she might've even been there when Elliot supposedly assaulted this guy."

"Ya think so? Why wouldn't she tell us that?"

Fin doesn't respond, but he knew the answer. He and Munch both suspected that she and Elliot had been romantically involved for some time now.

Fin knew that if Olivia had told the Captain the details of that night that Cragen would have questioned their relationship and Elliot's reasoning for staying out late with Olivia, and not being home with his wife and kids.

"I think you may be jumping the gun on this one, Fin," Cragen says. "However, if you and Munch are feeling uncomfortable about this situation, then I advise you to go check on 'er."

Fin exits Cragen's office without a second thought. He realizes that he may just be paranoid about the entire situation, but he chooses not to relax until he proves himself wrong.

Location: Roy's House

Grant stands near the door, staring Olivia down, taking pleasure in making her wait. He enjoyed the mental torture.

He was yet to lay a finger on her, but he could see that she was already suffering as her chest would rise and fall with each intense breath.

Olivia couldn't stand the silence. She decides to take her chances at speaking to him.

She realizes that there is no chance of him releasing her, but she figures she could say some things to lessen his rage.

"Grant… I'm sorry," she says, her tone timid. "Honestly, I'm sorry. Relax… please."

"I don't want to hear it, Olivia. I gave you chance after chance to get your act together… And you chose not too," he says, slowly approaching Olivia, and speaking to her like a parent would when disciplining their child. "Anything that happens from here on out is your own fault. Act like a naughty bitch, get treated like a naughty bitch."

Olivia backs away as she sees Grant getting closer and closer to her.

She searches desperately around the room, looking for something, anything to defend herself with. She notices a jar holding coins on one of the dressers, but it was on the opposite side of the room.

"Why are you doing this?" she softly cries as she notices Grant gradually closing in on the distance between them.

"Simple. Because you need to know your place. Ever since we first met, it's been nothing but disrespect with you." Grant finally closes in on Olivia, but doesn't make any drastic moves.

"I- I'm sorry…I know that now. I know…I'm sorry, Grant," Olivia whispers, holding her hands out to his chest to limit his distance to her.

"You do? You know your place now? Good." Grant replies, nodding. "Then lay down," he says, cocking his head toward the bed beside them. "_Prove_ to me that you know your place."

Olivia looks down at the worn out blanket spread over the ratty mattress, and faces Grant again.

She says nothing, shaking her head while looking to the floor.

"That's what I thought," Grant says, bringing his right hand out and backhanding Olivia across the face, using so much force that the side of her head collides with the wall.

Olivia grabs onto her burning cheek, and sinks to the floor.

"Don't…wait," she pleads with him as she extends her other hand out to shield herself.

Ignoring her pleas, Grant kicks her in the side, near her ribcage. Olivia curls up on the floor, flinching as she guards herself.

"You're nothing but a lying bitch. I thought you said you knew your place, you little cunt!" he yells before grabbing her hair and yanking her up to her feet.

"D- Don't…Please stop," Olivia says again, barely audible.

"There you go, giving me orders again!" Grant extends his hands out and wraps them around her fragile neck.

He squeezes hard, choking her. His grasp is so tight that Olivia's face immediately turns red.

"Okay stop!" Olivia coughs out, barely able to speak.

"What's the matter?" Grant asks in a mocking tone as he increases the pressure.

"Plea-… You're gon-….You're gonna kill me," Olivia whispers, gasping for air.

Grant increases his pressure a bit more before releasing her. Olivia bends over, coughing and gasping for air.

"You ready for me now?" Grant asks, cocking his head toward the bed again.

"No… please. I- I'm sorry," Olivia says, her breathing labored.

"You're sorry, huh?" Grant says, slanting his eyebrows. "Let's see how sorry you are now."

Grant turns around, and begins searching the room.

"Let's see what we can find, shall we," he says as he looks from corner to corner.

"Fuck, there's practically nothing in here… I guess I'll have to improvise," he says, walking over to the bed and grabbing a pillow.

Olivia rushes into the nearest corner, extending her arms out once again to shield herself. Grant doesn't waste any time, grabbing onto her hair and whipping Olivia onto the floor.

Pain rips through her body as Grant slams Olivia onto her back. Olivia tries to speak, but her words are muted and she is winded from the impact. Grant quickly straddles her and grips his hands on either side of the pillow.

He waits for Olivia to exhale before forcing the pillow down onto her face. Olivia immediately panics, flailing her arms out. Grant leans his body weight on both sides of the pillow.

Olivia thrashes her head from side to side, but the pillow remains secure. Olivia's cries come out muffled as she screams through the pillow.

"Yeah, bitch. I bet you're sorry now, aren't ya?" Grant says as he steadily increases his pressure.

Grant is suddenly interrupted when he hears a knock at the door. He curses, throwing the pillow to the side and lifting himself up off Olivia.

Olivia rolls to her side, wheezing and coughing. Grant walks over and opens the door while Olivia remains on the ground, concentrating on every last breath.

"What's going on in here, man? I'm not comfortable with this shit," Roy says, quietly, but load enough for Olivia to hear him. "I didn't sign up for all of this."

"Yeah? I didn't sign up to get you out of your mess either, Roy, but I did! If it weren't for me you wouldn't even be standing here. You'd be behind bars, being some man's bitch and you know it!" Grant yells.

"I know, Grant. But you didn't warn me about any of this," Roy replies, looking over at Olivia who was still lying on the floor, struggling for oxygen.

"There's nothing more to talk about, Roy. If you want me to leave, I will. I can't make any promises though. You know who will be making you a visit if I walk out that door."

Olivia's breath was finally beginning to even out. She slowly sits up, facing Roy.

"Don't listen him…The cops know that I'm missing, and you can guarantee that they _will_ find me. You don't want to go down for this, Roy…It's not worth it," Olivia says, taking shallow breaths.

Grant turns toward Olivia, his eyes as cold as ice. She knew that if that door shut again with just Grant and her in this room, there would be hell to pay.

Olivia sees the wrath in his eyes, and silently prays for Roy not to turn away.

"I've handled it," Grant says, facing back toward Roy. "Trust me. Not a soul knows she's hear."

Olivia's prayers go unanswered as Roy turns back toward the living room and walks away.

**PLEASE REVIEW FOR MORE! **


	8. Chapter 8

**PLEASE DON'T IGNORE THE WARNINGS POSTED IN THE SUMMARY. THAT IS ALL…**

Olivia sees her only chance of rescue vanish before her eyes as Roy turns and walks away. Grant slowly shuts the door and turns to face Olivia who was still lying helplessly on the floor.

Olivia considers lifting herself up, but remains where she is because she knows that standing will only give Grant an opportunity to throw her back down onto the floor.

She looks up at him, waiting and preparing herself for the next attack.

"I've known Roy for quite some time now… And as you can already tell, he's a weak man," Grant says as he leans his back to the door and crosses his arms over his chest.

"I'm not surprised that Roy went soft on me. I wouldn't worry though… He's working the afternoon shift at the station today. He should be outta our hair in no time."

Olivia looks away from him, attempting to hide her face. She didn't want Grant thinking that his intimidating words and threats had an effect on her.

"I know you were looking forward to Roy sticking around. It's very evident that he feels sorry for you. I don't know why that is," Grant says as he shrugs his shoulders.

"If he _really_ knew you…If he knew that you were a manipulative, evil bitch…I don't think he would pity you like he does." Grant pushes himself off the door and begins walking in Olivia's direction.

"It pisses me off that you tricked him into believing that you're some innocent cunt… And it pisses me off even more that you continue to disobey me. Roy's probably getting ready to head out," Grant says, cocking his head in the direction of the main room.

"And you can bet your ass that the moment he steps out of here… I'm going to make your life a living hell. I'm going to make you wish that you never opened your fucking mouth. I'm going to bring you so much pain… that you won't have any tears left to shed."

Olivia begins sliding her body to the farthest corner of the room. She considers apologizing again, but doesn't bother as she remembers the good it did just a few moments ago.

Finally near Olivia, Grant squats down in front of her. Olivia bows her head, refusing him eye contact. Grant reaches his hand out and gently lifts her chin to face him.

"Do you hear what I'm telling you, Olivia?" Grant asks, his tone now calm.

Olivia looks into his eyes and her bottom lip begins to shake.

"Plea- Please….just leave me alone…Leave me alone," she whispers in a shaky breath.

"No, I can't do that," Grant responds. "I warned you, Olivia. I warned you countless times and you didn't listen."

"I was…I was scared… that's the only reason I said anything. I…I didn't mean it," she quietly sobs while closing her eyes shut.

"Look at me, Olivia," Grant says, brushing his fingers through her hair.

Olivia opens her eyes and tries to hold back her tears as she stares directly into Grant's cold eyes.

"Grant...I…" She attempts to speak, but is unsuccessful, unable to form her words correctly.

"I'm doing this for you, Olivia. You're lucky to have me. You need to know your place, and that's what I'm trying to teach you," Grant whispers while gently stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.

Olivia flinches as his knuckles skim over the sensitive part of her cheek that was now bruised from the gun that had been whipped across her face.

"But I do… I do," Olivia says, extending her hands out to protect her face.

Grant leans forward, placing his lips near her right ear.

"Then get on the bed. "

Olivia's sobbing increases as she takes her hands to her face, covering it. She had no intention of getting on the bed, and she knew what would come next if she denied him.

She couldn't take Grant watching her break down into tears right in front of him. Grant reaches out and pries her hands away from her face.

"Ya see, you _don't_ know," Grant says, shaking his head.

Grant seems calm and composed as he continues to speak. He stares at Olivia, waiting for a response until he hears a light tap at the door.

"Grant, headin' out. Be back in a bit," Roy yells from the opposite side of the door.

Olivia snaps her head up toward Roy's direction and her sobbing intensifies.

"No!...No" she cries out as she hears Roy's footsteps less and less as he approaches the front door.

Fury flashes in Grant's eyes as he faces her.

"You know what?... I'm going to go search for an iron soon. How's that sound? That should shut you up," Grant threatens as he lifts himself up and walks over to the bedroom door, opening it.

They hear the front door shut and Grant peaks his head out to assure that Roy had left the house.

Olivia snaps into survival mode as she quickly lifts herself from the floor, using the wall as support.

She dashes over to the far window and begins banging her fists on it. She sees a young black woman approaching a crosswalk near the side of the house.

"HELP ME!" she yells while continuing to pound her fists on the thick glass. "HELP! HELP!"

The woman snaps her head in Olivia's direction, squinting her eyes to clear her vision. A circle of fog forms on the window as Olivia continues to scream while exhaling onto the glass.

Olivia doesn't see Grant approaching from behind her. He lifts her up, his arms wrapped tight around her waist.

Olivia kicks her legs out while reaching her hands behind her to claw at Grant's face. She makes contact, ripping the skin on his right jaw as her nails dug into him.

Grant carries her over to the bed and throws her down hard onto the flimsy mattress.

"HELP!" Olivia continues to scream hysterically.

Grant pulls his fist back before punching Olivia across the face, landing it directly on her freshly forming bruise.

"STOP!" Olivia cries out as she tries to inch away from him.

Grant raises his hand to strike her again, but freezes after hearing the doorbell.

Olivia's eyes go wide. She quickly realizes that the person at the door is most likely the same woman that she just saw out the window. Grant reaches into his pants, pulling out his gun.

He reaches down, grabbing onto Olivia's injured wrist, and pulling her off the bed. Olivia attempts to wiggle out of his grasp, pulling her arm in every direction.

Grant puts an end to her struggle, wrapping his arm tight around Olivia's upper body, disabling her arm movements. They head for the bedroom door and Grant forces her out into the hallway.

Olivia prays that the stranger at the door is someone else; that the woman she saw outside ran and called the police instead of coming to the house to investigate the banging on the window.

"RUN!" Olivia yells, attempting to warn the stranger at the door.

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Grant yells, clasping his hand over her mouth.

Olivia bites down hard onto his hand, and Grant quickly removes it.

"You're dead… you're as good as dead for that," Grant warns her, waving his hand to reduce the pain.

"RUN! RUN!" Olivia calls out again.

Grant turns her around, gripping both of his hands onto her shoulders before violently shaking her.

"Listen to me! LISTEN TO ME!" he yells. "Now this can go one of two ways. You can shut the hell up… and the person at the door won't suspect a thing. I tell them everything's fine, and they go home safe… and everyone's happy."

Olivia stares at him, breathing heavily as she listens to his options.

"OR…you can continue to scream and warn who's ever at the door… and I put a bullet in them. Your choice."

Olivia's breathing becomes harder as she faces in the direction of the door then back to Grant. She hopes that whoever was at the door heard her screams and turned away.

"Please… please, don't hurt them," she cries. "I won't say anything… just leave them. Please, Grant."

"Smart choice," Grant says, pulling her through the hallway with his gun raised. "You make one peep, and their dead. I promise you that."

They finally reach the front door and Grant pushes Olivia down onto the nearby sofa, aiming his gun at her.

"I'm warning you, Olivia. Not a sound," he whispers to her before unlocking the door and swinging it open.

**Location: Olivia's Apartment **

Munch and Fin head down the hallway leading to Olivia's apartment, stopping at her door. Fin reaches his hand out to knock, but sees that the door is already cracked open.

Munch and Fin look to each other in realization that Fin's worst fear may be coming true. Fin pushes the door open, and they both draw their guns. They immediately see the woman lying in her own puddle of blood on the floor.

Fin whips out his walkie, bringing it to his mouth.

"This is Detective Odafin Tutuola. We have a break-in and a possible kidnapping of an NYPD detective, one woman deceased… Location: Detective Olivia Benson's. Please rush help over immediately!"

As Fin speaks into the walkie, Munch stares down at the woman's body, frozen in disbelief.

"Munch!" Fin snaps him out of his daze. "The other rooms… let's go."

They both draw their weapons and head toward Olivia's bedroom.

"Clear! Clear!" both call out as they perform their checks.

They enter Olivia's bedroom to find her panties and blouses scattered throughout the floor. Fin takes out his phone and begins dialing Cragen.

"Cap! Olivia's been taken."

**Location: Roy's House**

Grant opens the door to see a young black woman, peaking into the house with a look of concern on her face. She was an attractive woman and Grant guessed that she might be in her late teens or early twenties. She had light brown skin and her hair hung just below her chin. She was shorter than Olivia, standing just around 5'4''.

"Is everything okay in there?" She asks, attempting to peak over Grant's shoulder.

"Yes, sweetie. We're all fine in here. How are you doing today?" Grant asks, smiling.

The woman ignores his question as she continues to peak past him.

"I heard banging on the side window… I could've sworn that I heard screams too," she says, looking up at Grant's face.

Grant sighs and looks toward the bedroom.

"God Dammit… my damn son and his friend are always roughhousing. I'm sorry if they disturbed you. I keep telling them to settle down, but you know how young boys act," Grant responds, satisfied with the story he just created.

The young woman nods, and continues to look up at him.

"What happened to your face?" she asks, pointing at the gash on his jaw line.

Grant pauses. He had forgotten about the mark that Olivia's nails left on him. He waits for a moment, attempting to come up with a story that would explain his wound.

"Work," he responds, providing the woman with a vague explanation.

The woman slowly nods her head, but Grant could tell that she wasn't buying his story.

"Mm-hm," she mumbles as she begins to turn and leave.

Grant did not like her response. He did not trust that the woman bought his story. He removes the gun from behind his back and points it at her.

"Inside. NOW!" he yells as his eyes scan around the outdoors for other witnesses.

The woman raises her hands in surrender.

"What are you doing?" she asks, panicked.

"No fucking questions! Step inside or I'll drop you right here," he tells her while gripping the gun tighter.

The woman continues to raise her hands as she slowly steps into the house.

"Don't shoot me," she whispers before glancing over at Olivia.

Grant pushes into her chest, and she falls down onto the sofa, landing beside Olivia.

"Grant, don't do this," Olivia pleads. "She's got nothing to do with this."

The young woman looks over to Olivia, her eyes wide and her eyebrows furrowed as she tries to make out the situation she was in.

Grant keeps his gun aimed at the woman whose hands were now trembling as she kept them raised.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" he asks, facing her.

"Chris- Christina…Christina," she answers, taking shallow breaths.

"Well, Christina… thanks to this woman…" he begins as he points at Olivia with his gun.

"You're gonna die today. Your blood will be on her hands," Grant says, aiming his gun toward Christina again.

"Please, Grant, don't do this!" Olivia yells. "Grant, don't!"

Christina begins to tremble more as she looks back and forth from Olivia to Grant. She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out.

"Where would you like it, Christina?" Grant asks, walking closer to the sofa. "In the head… or in the heart? Which do you think is quickest?"

Olivia moves her body over to partially block Christina, one hand extended out to guard them.

"Let her go, Grant… let her go, please! If you let her go, you and I can make a run for it. You can take me wherever you like."

Grant rests his gun by his side.

"Ya know, I have to admit; I was pretty upset at first," Grant says, facing toward Christina. "But maybe today's my lucky day."

Olivia follows Grant's eyes as they slowly examine Christina's body. She immediately reads him, and begins to panic more.

"Grant, c'mon…don't. Leave her alone, Grant."

Christina looks over to Olivia, confused. Fear rises in her as she gradually starts to realize what Olivia was referring to.

Olivia couldn't bear seeing another woman hurt in front of her. She looks over to Christina who was now silently crying.

"Okay, Grant. Okay… I'll do it. I'll do it. Leave her, Grant. Let her go, please," Olivia pleads in attempt to sacrifice herself for the young woman.

"Nope. You're too late for that," Grant answers, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry. I should have spoken sooner, Grant… take me," Olivia begs.

"Oh, you'll get your chance," Grant responds. "Wait your turn."

Olivia shakes her head, pleading with her eyes for the young woman.

"Christina's gonna have me… and you're gonna watch," Grant says before pulling Christina off the sofa and on to her feet.

He turns Christina around with her back to him and raises his gun to her head.

"I'm not gonna kill her. That wouldn't be fair… She_ will_ be fucked though…and you're gonna watch us. Choose not to, and she dies."

Olivia drops her head and then stares up into Christina's eyes.

"Grant, why are you doing this?" she whispers. "Don't do this. She's just a kid."

Grant begins walking backwards, his gun still at the side of Christina's head, and his arm wrapped around her waist.

"Follow us! NOW!" Grant yells at Olivia.

Olivia removes herself from the sofa and begins walking behind them, through the hallway. Her eyes remain focused on Christina as she continues to plead with Grant.

"Grant, don't. Please, leave her…I'm sorry."

Grant ignores her pleas and backs into the bedroom.

"Get in the corner!" he orders Olivia.

Olivia hesitates as she watches Christina whose entire body was trembling.

"Grant…"

"NOW!" Grant yells, pressing the gun to Christina's temple.

"Okay…okay," Olivia says quietly as she makes her way into the corner near the bed. "Grant, don't hurt her."

"This won't hurt a bit," Grant says as he throws Christina down onto the mattress and crawls on top of her.

Christina breaks her silence, panicking, and screaming out.

"DON'T! STOP!" she yells as she pushes her hands into Grant's chest.

Grant chuckles as he begins to wrestle with her, pinning her wrists above her head.

"Did you hear that, Olivia? This little whore just told me NOT to stop!"

Olivia continues to plead with him.

"Grant… stop. STOP! Grant, take me! You're hurting her!"

Grant ignores Olivia's pleas and makes his way to Christina's jeans, fumbling at the button with the gun still in his hand. Christina turns her head, facing toward Olivia.

"Help me! Don't let him do this! Please, help me!" she cries as she feels her zipper being undone.

Olivia begins to step their way and Grant takes his gun, pressing it against Christina's temple.

"I swear, if you fucking move again, she's dead… She can either leave here fucked or not leave here at all. It's up to you, Olivia. Now sit!" he yells before crashing his lips down onto Christina's.

Olivia slowly crouches down and lets her tears fall as she's forced to watch Grant violate another woman. She hears Christina's muffled screams as Grant covers her mouth his.

Olivia can't help but to continue pleading as she watches Grant abuse her.

"I'll do whatever you want, Grant! I'm begging you… stop!"

Grant removes his mouth from hers. He looks down at Christina and grins as he sees that she has no fight left in her. She remains under him, her entire body frozen as she stares up at the ceiling.

Grant wastes no time, tearing into her shirt and ripping it from her body. He tucks his fingers into the waist of her jeans and yanks them down her legs.

Olivia's voice is now dry from yelling out. Her pleas come out as whispers.

"Grant…she's just a kid…she's just a kid."

Grant tears off her panties before straddling her completely and placing his hand on the button of his jeans. He easily unbuttons and unzips his pants, reaching into his briefs, and pulling out his erect penis.

Olivia wants to close her eyes, but she feels she has to remain strong for Christina's sake.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Olivia whispers to her.

Grant positions himself near her entrance before looking over at Olivia.

"I'm going to really enjoy this… this is what happens when you fuck around with me," he tells Olivia before ripping into Christina.

Christina screams out and places her hands between her body and Grant's hips before attempting to push him away.

"Please!" she screams as Grant pumps into her.

"Shhh…shhh. It's okay," Grant soothes her. "Calm down. I know you've had cock before. All you whores have. Just relax and take it."

Grant pulls his penis out and sits up as he uses his knees to spread her legs further apart. He covers his hand over her mouth before dropping back onto her and driving into her again.

Olivia sobs and can't help but to shut her eyes as she hears Christina's faint cries under Grant's hand.

Grant feels the vibration of her screams on his palm and becomes more aroused, pumping into her harder.

"Yeah? You like that?" he whispers as he moves in and out of her.

Christina goes silent as her body jerks with each of Grant's thrusts. Grant begins grunting as he comes closer and closer to his peak.

He removes his hand from her mouth and tangles his fingers into her hair before pulling while pumping into her harder.

"Yeah," he grunts before driving into her for the last few times.

Olivia opens her eyes to see Grant pulling out of her and climbing off the bed. Christina remains frozen on the bed as Grant looks down at her, zipping his pants up.

"You ready to go home?" he asks in a sympathetic tone.

Christina nods her head, but remains lying on the bed, her entire body in complete shock.

"Leave," Grant tells her, cocking his head toward the door.

Christina hesitates, looking over at Grant's gun. Olivia sees Christina's opportunity for escape and yells at her.

"Christina, go! Get out of here! NOW!" Olivia orders her.

Christina removes herself from the bed, her shaky hands pulling her pants up as she begins slowly walking to the door. Grant glances over to Olivia and then looks back over to Christina.

"Oh, Christina, one last thing…"

Already near the entrance of the door, Christina turns to face him.

_BANG! _

Christina drops to the floor and her blood begins spilling out. She immediately dies as blood forms a puddle on the floor, pouring from the bullet wound in the center of her forehead.

Olivia screams, covering her mouth as she watches Christina's blood drain from her body.

"W- WHY?" she cries. "Grant, why?"

Grant faces Olivia, shrugging.

"I told you to watch us… you didn't," he replies, indifferent to the fact that he had just slain an innocent young woman.

"I see that I've got your attention now," he says while tucking his gun into his pants.

Olivia's eyes don't reach Grant. She remains in the corner, watching the young woman bleed out before her.

_**You already know what to do if you want more updates ;) THANKS AGAIN!**_


	9. Chapter 9

"Look at what you did," Grant says, staring down at Christina's lifeless body. "That's a damn shame, Olivia. She was so young."

Olivia ignores Grant's remarks as she continues to whisper, unable to take her eyes off of Christina.

"Wh-…why? You didn't have to do that… You didn't have to kill her."

"I didn't do this, _you_ did. You just couldn't keep your FUCKING mouth shut!" Grant yells, facing Olivia.

Olivia slowly shakes her head, her focus still on Christina. She didn't understand Grant; she couldn't understand how a human being could be this cruel.

"Why are you like this?" Olivia softly cries, looking up toward Grant. "How can you just hurt and kill innocent women?"

"Well as for Christina… her death was on _you_. And as for you? You in NO way are fucking innocent!" Grant says, waving his gun at her.

Olivia quickly begins to notice that Grant was becoming angrier the more he spoke. She sees the rage in his eyes as he begins pacing around, ranting.

"Innocent… how dare you call yourself fucking innocent!" Grant yells at her, aiming his gun in her direction. "I should just kill you right now. You're pissing me the fuck off!"

Even though Olivia was in fact innocent, she hadn't exactly said that she herself was innocent. Grant continues pacing as he puts even more words into her mouth.

"I'm not some monster… don't you fucking say that!" Grant yells while clinching his left fist.

"I didn't say that," Olivia whispers as she watches him punch his fist against the wall. "Grant, I did not say that."

Grant ignores Olivia's response and looks down at Christina's body. Olivia sees that Grant was becoming anxious as he reaches his hand up, wiping the nervous sweat from his forehead.

Grant obviously had not given Roy the full details of his intentions, and Olivia couldn't tell if his nervousness was due to the guilt he was feeling for killing the young woman or the fear he had that Roy would turn on him.

"Get up!" he yells at Olivia. "Clean this shit up!"

Grant points down to the floor.

Olivia looks over to Christina's body and her heart nearly stops when she realizes what Grant was asking her to do.

"No…I'm not doing that," Olivia says, shaking her head.

"I'm not giving you a fucking choice! Get the fuck over here, and clean this shit up!"

Olivia maintains her ground as she continues to shake her head.

"Do what you want… I'm not doing that. I can't."

Olivia covers her mouth and feels the bile rise to her throat as she imagines herself cleaning up Christina's blood and moving her body.

Grant storms over to her, pulling on her wrist and yanking her to her feet.

"Get up!" he yells while pulling Olivia toward Christina's body.

Olivia claws into his arm using the opposite hand, but Grant continues pulling on her.

"Grant, I can't… DON'T!" she yells as she tries to get free from his grasp.

Grant pushes Olivia onto Christina's body and her head lands on Christina's chest. With nearly her entire body on top of Christina, Olivia attempts to lift herself, placing her palms to the floor. She pushes up and her hands slip in the puddle of blood that had formed around Christina's upper body.

"Stop fucking around!" Grant yells.

"I- I'm gon…I'm gonna be sick… stop," Olivia whispers as she tries to keep down the few contents in her stomach that she had.

Olivia presses her hands into the ground again and lifts herself halfway up before Grant pushes her back down onto the blood that was now smeared on the floor from her hands.

"I don't give a fuck! Clean it up!"

Olivia could still feel Christina's warmth on her skin. She puts the inside of her elbow to her mouth to prevent herself from getting sick. Most of her clothing and body was now splattered with blood.

"I can't… I can't," Olivia mutters through her arm.

Even looking at the blood was unbearable. Olivia knew that she would not be able to clean the mess of blood up even if she wanted to.

Grant uses the sole of his boot as he steps onto Olivia, putting his weight into her side to keep her down.

Olivia puts her bloody hand up to her mouth, releasing her vomit. Her breathing becomes labored as she realizes she's smeared the blood on her lips and face.

"Oh my God," she coughs out as she feels herself getting sick again.

"Don't you fucking dare," Grant warns her.

Olivia leans over as she vomits for the second time. Grant grabs her by her shirt and lifts her from the floor.

"You disgusting bitch!" he yells as he pushes her into the wall. "Filthy cunt!"

Olivia's back slams into the wall and she slides down to the floor. The impact momentarily dazes Olivia and she's barely audible as she speaks.

"Grant…stop." Her cry is soft and weak. "I'm gonna be sick again…don't."

Without warning, Grant grabs under her arm, lifting her from the floor again.

"You gross bitch," he says while forcing her out the door.

Olivia goes limp and drops onto the floor, but Grant continues dragging her.

Grant drags her through the hallway and throws her into the next room on the right, and Olivia lands onto the hard floor. Olivia rolls her body to distance herself from him until she is stopped with her back to the wall.

She opens her eyes and looks up to see a bathtub and a toilet above her.

"No…no," she whispers as she brings her knees to her chest. "Sto- Stop."

Grant reaches his hand out and snatches the shower curtain open.

Olivia didn't know if Grant was going to cleanse her or attempt to drown her, but she didn't plan on allowing him to do either one. Olivia begins crawling toward the door before Grant turns around, slamming it closed.

Grant reaches into the tub, turning on the shower.

"Bath time," he says as he makes his way over to Olivia.

Olivia scoots away, pushing her back to the door and extending her arms out to shield herself.

"Don't! DON'T!" she yells as Grant begins tearing at her clothes.

Olivia crosses her arms across her chest as Grant begins pulling her shirt open, ripping off its buttons.

"You wanna get clean, don't ya?" he says as he pulls the torn open shirt over her shoulders and yanks it down her arms.

"Please let me do it! Let me do it, Grant, please!" Olivia cries out as she covers herself again.

Grant stops and looks down at her. Her arms were still crossed over her chest. She sat against the door, half naked with only her bra and pants on.

"Yeah? You wanna do it yourself?" Grant asks.

"Please…" Olivia answers, breathing heavily.

"Go 'head," Grant says, nodding. "Finish undressing."

Olivia knew that Grant had no intentions of leaving her alone in the bathroom, but decides to plead anyway.

"Okay… I'll shower. Please leave," she says, looking up at him. "Please give me a minute."

**Location: Squad Car**

"I'm surprised that you two were the ones to spring me. I owe you guys," Elliot says to Fin and Munch as he rode in the backseat.

Neither Fin or Munch was comfortable with delivering the terrible news to Elliot. They both wanted to wait for the right moment.

Truthfully,_ no_ moment was the right moment to explain that Olivia was missing to Elliot. They remain silent as Elliot continues speaking.

"I'm surprised Liv didn't get to me first. I'm assuming that you guys told her that you were bailing me out… Wouldn't want her worrying about me."

Munch and Fin glance over at each other. Fin was tempted to stop the car. He knew the moment was coming soon and didn't want Elliot exploding while he was driving.

"What's that look for?" Elliot asks.

He looks from Munch to Fin, tilting his eyebrows.

"What's wrong? Is Liv alright?" he asks in a concerned tone.

Fin and Munch glance at each other once more, both swallowing hard.

"Is it Meyers? Is he still stalking her?" Elliot asks, leaning up between the front seats to look at their faces.

"Elliot…" Fin begins to speak.

"What? What is it? Did he hurt her?"

"She's gone Elliot. We don't know where he took her," Fin continues. "…But we're working on it. We're close. We'll find her."

Elliot suddenly goes quiet. Frozen in shock, he doesn't respond to Fin. He stares into the dashboard while trying to take in what he was just told.

"Elliot…" Munch starts before getting cut off.

"Wh- When did this happen?" Elliot stutters.

Munch and Fin could hear the tears in his voice as he spoke.

"We're thinkin' about an hour after you left the squad room," Fin answers.

Elliot goes silent again. Fin could tell that Elliot was already beating himself up for not being able to protect her.

"Elliot, we're going to find her. Meyers left a mess of that place. We're gonna get 'em," Fin says in attempt to reassure him.

Fin's remark only intensified Elliot's fears.

"What… what do you mean 'a mess'? What'd you find?"

Fin doesn't answer him. He knew it would do no good to tell Elliot that Olivia's panties and blouses were scattered throughout the floor. Elliot didn't need any other images in his head that he didn't have already.

"Jus…Just a mess. There's evidence, Elliot. We got 'em this time."

Elliot looks down to the floor as he flashes back to the night at the bar. He clinches his fists as he remembers how Grant pushed him over the edge.

"This is all my fault," he whispers. "God… Olivia. Guys, he could be doing anything to her right now."

Elliot looks back up and slowly shakes his head. The fact that Olivia had been taken by Grant had finally fully sunken in. Munch suddenly feels contact on his back as Elliot punches hard into the back of his seat.

"Elliot, she'll be fine," Fin says before Elliot punches his fist into Munch's seat again.

Elliot ignores Fin's comment.

"Get to the station. Hurry! Drive, Fin! We're going to slow!" He yells, panicking more and more as the seconds go by.

"Elliot, I'm trying," Fin says. "Traffic is backed up right now."

"FUCK! How has she not been found yet? Shit, shit…we need to find her now. Pick up the speed, Fin!" he yells.

"I'm going as fast as I can, Elliot," Fin says, trying to calm him.

Munch looks back at Elliot who now had tears streaming down his face.

"We're going to find her, Elliot," Munch tells him.

Elliot shakes his head and puts his face into the palms of his hands.

"Fuck… if she's hurt, guys…I…I don't know what I'm going to do." Elliot thinks of Grant's victims and slowly realizes that Olivia is most likely already hurt.

He releases more tears as he continues to think.

"If she's gone…if she's dead…I'm gonna kill myself." Elliot's voice cracks while he speaks.

Munch and Fin turn to look at each other.

"You don't mean that, Elliot," Munch says, looking back at him.

"Yes I do, John. This is all my fault. If he…if… I wouldn't be able to live with myself," Elliot responds, slowly shaking his head.

Elliot couldn't bring himself to say the actual words.

"We're going to find him before that happens," Munch says.

"I'm going to kill him," Elliot whispers. "When we find him… I'm going to kill him."

"We all will," Fin responds.

Fin knew that Elliot was being literal, but he pretends that by 'kill' Elliot means 'kick his ass.' Fin knew the truth. He knew that if Elliot ever saw Grant Meyers again that Elliot would murder him on the spot.

**Location: Roy's House**

"Take off your clothes or I will. It's your choice," Grant says, standing over Olivia.

Olivia bows her head and stares into her lap. She couldn't look into his cold eyes without stuttering her words.

"Please, just let me do this… If you let me, I'll do whatever you want after I get out. I promise."

Olivia knew this was a lie but she decides to say whatever she can to stall time.

"What was that? What did you say?" Grant says, crouching down to her level.

Olivia keeps her head bowed as she repeats herself.

"I said… I'll do whatever you want me to. Just let me shower alone… please," she whispers.

Grant grabs her hand and caresses the top, gently moving his thumb in circles.

"Well if we're gonna fuck…what's it matter if I see you naked now or later?"

Olivia finally looks up at him.

"I just need a few minutes… that's all," she tells him. "Just give me a minute, Grant, please."

Grant leans forward and puts his lips to her forehead, kissing it.

"Okay. I understand…you're nervous. I'll give you a few minutes if you need it," Grant responds.

Olivia looks at him, surprised. She couldn't believe that Grant was actually accepting her offer; that he was allowing her to shower alone.

"Look at this blood all over you," Grant chuckles, pointing out the blood spatters all over her body. "How did this happen?"

Olivia doesn't answer him. She was furious with his question, but decides not to press her luck. Grant knew damn well how this happened. He shot an innocent woman and callously threw Olivia on top of her. _That's_ how this happened.

Olivia remains quiet. She knows that a single word could set him off. He was already allowing her to shower alone and she didn't want that to change. Olivia lightly shrugs and forces a tiny smile onto her face.

Grant smiles back and brings his hand to her shoulder.

"Isn't this so much easier? You see how nice I can be when you mind me?"

Olivia nods her head even though she knew she had no plans on minding Grant once she was through with her shower. Grant kisses her forehead once again and reaches for a towel on the rack, handing it to her.

"Get clean…and I'll be waiting right outside the door. Got it?" Grant asks, still smiling.

"Yes," Olivia whispers to him.

Every second that went by, Olivia was strategizing an escape.

She thought of everything from charging into Grant and making a run for it once she opened the bathroom door to waiting, seducing him, biting into his dick and knocking him over onto his ass. Each idea she had seemed risky at best.

Grant lifts himself up and offers his hand to Olivia. She takes it and lifts herself up before walking toward the bathtub.

"Don't keep me waiting for too long," Grant says, opening the door and exiting the bathroom.

As soon as he shuts the door, Olivia drops the towel and begins crying uncontrollably. She was relieved that she was finally alone, but she feared what was to come. She planned on escaping, but she knew her chances of making a successful escape were slim.

She reaches her shaky hands up, wiping her face. She reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, dropping it to the floor. She slides her pants and panties down her legs before stepping out of them.

She reaches her hand out to check the temperature of the water and after determining that the water was too cold, she adjusts the knobs to her comfort level.

She steps into the shower and blood immediately begins dripping off her body and into the drain. She looks down and sees pink, a mixture of the water and Christina's blood.

She looks around for a clean washing rag and only sees a used rag hanging on the small rack above the soap holder. She decides against it, grabbing the bar of soap and using only her hands to wash with.

She brings her head below the shower head and wets her hair. More tears fall from her eyes as she sees the blood drip from her hair and onto her shoulders and arms. She rubs the bar of soap between her hands, producing foam and massaging it into her hair.

She scrubs her arms and legs with the bar of soap before rinsing her hair and body. She waits in the shower as she continues to strategize. Olivia was clean but she was in no rush to hop out of the shower.

She let the hot water fall onto her skin as she closed her eyes. She becomes frustrated, not knowing which strategy to choose, unsure if Grant would still have his gun on him by the time she was done showering.

Olivia keeps her eyes closed and allows the hot water to spray down onto her body. She relaxes for a moment as she feels the soothing water cover her bruises, temporarily numbing them.

Suddenly Olivia's body is jerked to the side as she feels the plastic curtain being wrapped around her. She opens her eyes only to feel more suffocated as she realizes that Grant had grabbed her through the shower curtain and was now dragging her out of the bathtub.

"No! PLEASE STOP!" Olivia screams, panicking.

The shower curtain was wrapped around Olivia's entire body, including her head. Grant continues dragging her out the bathroom, Olivia's feet dragging along the floor.

"Grant, don't! I can't breathe!" she screams while her arms were locked at her sides.

Her screams only made Grant squeeze tighter, applying more pressure around her body.

"Yeah? You think I'm a fucking idiot, don't you?" Grant says, dragging her back into the bedroom.

"No, I don't…please let me go, Grant!" Olivia's cries come out muffled as her mouth presses against the plastic curtain.

Grant drops Olivia onto the floor and her head bangs against it. She feels the coldness attack her body as Grant snatches the curtain from her body, exposing her.

"You really thought I believed you, huh?" Grant asks, laughing. "That's cute."

Olivia curls into the fetal position to hide her body from him. She didn't know what Grant was going to do to her. He was so unpredictable which forced Olivia to stay on guard at all times.

Being with Grant was like being with Doctor Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. One moment Grant was smiling and caressing her hand and the next moment he was full of rage, dropping her down onto the floor.

"Grant…Grant… Please stop," Olivia cried, still curled in the fetal position. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you are a manipulative bitch, that's why. I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you, you evil whore…you fucking evil whore!"

Olivia tenses her entire body, waiting for Grant to drop down on her. She was completely exposed and knew that if she had any chances before of preventing Grant from raping her that those chances were now gone.

_**Cliffhangerrrr! Pleeease review! Thanks for reading and commenting!**_


	10. Chapter 10

Olivia begins to shake uncontrollably as she remains curled up on the cold hard wood floor, soaked from head to toe and completely naked.

"Plea- Please…" she says, shivering.

Grant laughs, walking over to her.

"Please what? You're begging for me already?"

Olivia subconsciously grabs the shower curtain that was still beneath her and wraps it over her exposed body.

"No, no, no. I don't think so," Grant says as he yanks the shower curtain from beneath her, causing Olivia to roll slightly.

"Stand up," he demands, watching her entire body tremble.

"I- I can't," Olivia whispers.

Olivia is immobile, unable to feel her limbs. Her body continues to shake as she speaks.

"I can't… move," she mumbles while shutting her eyes closed.

"Sure ya can!" Grant teases.

Olivia concentrates hard on her breathing. She feels her lungs become tight as she inhales each chilling breath.

"Gr…Grant," she whispers. "Please…I n- need some- something to cover me. Cold…."

Grant grins and steps closer to her.

"You want to get under the covers?" he asks with an evil smile plastered across his face.

Olivia suddenly panics as she realizes what she might have just gotten herself into. Her adrenaline rises and she lifts herself up to the sitting position. She sits awkwardly, naked and staring up at Grant.

"Ya see, I knew you could move. Why do you constantly lie to me?"

Olivia doesn't answer Grant, scooting backwards to move away from him. She stops when she realizes that she was dangerously close to touching Christina's body and the puddle of blood in front of her.

"Why do you fight me? Do you want to end up like her? Is that what it is?" Grant asks, cocking his head toward the dead body.

Olivia knows that the sooner that Grant rapes her, the sooner he would kill her. She was too involved in Grant's cases to let him convince her otherwise.

"You're different, Olivia. I have different plans for us," Grant says in a gentle tone. "You're not like the other women. I don't want to hurt you… I want to be with you."

Olivia begins to feel sick as she thinks of spending her remaining days with Grant. She imagines his body on top her hers and begins sobbing.

"I screwed up, Olivia. I screwed up with believing that Roy would help me… and I screwed up when I took you. I was too sloppy," Grant says, slowly shaking his head.

Olivia didn't know where Grant was headed with these confessions, but she decides to try and talk him down while he was in his guilty mood.

"It's not…It's not too late, Grant," she says, still shivering. "Y- You can still get out of this. You can run… You can let me go and you can run."

Grant nods his head.

"You're right," he tells her.

Olivia knows what he is saying is too good to be true, but she can't help but to feel hopeful for a few moments. Grant continues speaking.

"You're right… _we_ should make a run for it," Grant says, putting extra emphasis on the 'we.'

Olivia drops her head and the little hope that she had vanishes.

"Tonight you and I are outta here," Grant continues. "I just need to take care of Roy first."

Olivia didn't need to see any other people die at the hands of Grant Meyers.

"Grant… please. Roy trusts you. He wouldn't give you up," Olivia pleads to him. "And you have a much better chance if… if you left me."

Grant realizes that Olivia was becoming too comfortable with her words. He switches back to his wicked ways to maintain control over her.

"Did you not hear what I said to you before? Stand up!" he yells.

Olivia knew that if she didn't stand to her feet on her own that Grant would eventually "help" her up. She lifts herself from the floor, covering her breasts as she stands and turning to the side.

"Face me!" Grant demands, his voice full of rage.

Olivia slowly turns but keeps her head bowed and her arms across her breasts.

"Please… don't do this," she pleads, knowing that her pleas would fall on deaf ears.

Grant sends shivers down her spine as his eyes roam over every inch of her body.

"Walk to me," he says, bending his index finger.

Olivia remains still. Her vision becomes blurry as tears begin forming in her eyes.

"Please, Grant," she begs, her tone weak.

"You _will_ learn to mind me, Olivia," Grant tells her. "I'm not a beggar. I refuse to keep begging you to give yourself to me."

Olivia doesn't respond, waiting for his reaction to her silence.

Grant approaches her and pries her arms away from her breasts, forcing them to her sides.

"You're so beautiful," he says, whispering into her ear.

Olivia's tears drop to her chest as she keeps her head bowed. Grant continues holding on to her wrists as he speaks.

"Why are you acting so shy? You're a whore. You and that coward detective fucked nearly every night and now you're acting like some virgin."

His words visibly make Olivia sad. This wasn't the same and Grant knew it. Elliot and Olivia were in love. She _chose_ to have sex with Elliot. Even when they would get rough and leave each other with scars and marks, it was still their choice.

"How long have you been watching me?" Olivia asks.

"Long enough to know that you're a whore," Grant responds. "Soon you'll be begging for me."

Grant takes Olivia by surprise, roughly grabbing her body and carrying her out of the room.

"No! Let me go!" Olivia cries out, struggling beneath his arms.

He kept his grip tight as he dragged her out the room, his clothed chest to her bare chest.

"Grant, put me down!" Olivia panics. "Put me down!"

Grant takes Olivia into the kitchen, throwing her down onto the tile floor. After landing, Olivia puts her arms up to her head to protect her face.

Grant goes wild, opening the cabinets and pulling out whatever he could find. Olivia cries out as Grant pushes the toaster off the counter and it slams down onto her thigh.

"Gra- Grant! Please…. STOP!"

Grant grabs the coffee pot from the coffee maker and smashes it onto the floor to intimidate Olivia further. Olivia squeezes her eyes shut as the glass shards fly in every direction.

"God… Grant stop," Olivia softly cries in a shaky voice.

"You don't want to mind me, huh?" Grant yells as reaches for a lower cabinet and opens it. "You're going to learn to do as I say."

Grant reaches into the cabinet and pulls out a frying pan. He lifts it up over his head and Olivia tenses.

"Say it… say you want me," Grant says, threatening her.

"Okay," Olivia answers, but doesn't say the actual words. "I'm so…I'm sorry, Grant."

Grant slams the pan down onto her side, and pain shoots through that half of Olivia's body. Olivia cries out again, bringing her hands to her side.

"Wait…wait!" she yells out before Grant brings the pan down once more, onto her thigh.

"Wait? You want me to wait?" Grant chuckles.

Grant reaches across the stove and turns one of the knobs. Olivia sees him reaching and panics.

"What are you… what are you doing?" she whispers in a panicked tone as she tries to lift herself from the floor.

Grant kicks into her side, and Olivia lands back onto the floor.

"I'm cooking," Grant says. "Aren't you hungry?"

He takes the pan that he beat Olivia with and sets it down onto one of the stove eyes. Olivia knew that Grant was going to try and burn her. She tries crawling away but Grant cuts in front of her, blocking her from exiting the kitchen.

"Grant, don't do this," Olivia pleads. "I'll listen…You can have me," she cries.

Grant shakes his head and looks down at her.

"No, Sweetheart. This isn't how I want it," Grant responds. "You only say that when you're in trouble. I want you to come without me having to threaten or punish you."

"I will," Olivia whispers as she struggles to get past him.

Grant kicks her over and stares down at the pan.

"What do you think? Do you think it's hot enough yet?"

Olivia's heart drops into her stomach as she realizes that there is no escaping from this kitchen.

"You're right," Grant says, shrugging. "We'll give it a few more seconds… We'll wait 'till its hot n' ready!"

Olivia looks up, searching for something to defend herself with. She rushes to what she guesses was a drawer for knives and quickly opens it. Before she could reach into it, Grant slams it closed with her fingers still inside it.

Olivia falls to the floor, curling up and grabbing onto her injured fingers.

"Nooo," she cries softly, looking up and watching Grant grab the handle to the pan.

She glues herself to the floor, moving as far away from the scorching hot pan as she could. Grant hovers the pan directly over her.

"You ready?" he teases to torture her.

"Grant, I'm…I'm sorry… don't," Olivia whispers as she sees the pan approaching her.

Grant lowers the pan and Olivia extends her hands out to protect herself. She burns her right palm on it as she tries to push it away. She screams and whips her hand around to lessen the pain.

"It doesn't work that way," Grant chuckles. "Keep pushing it away… I _love_ to see you burn yourself."

"Please! I'll listen…I- I'll listen to you," Olivia says, stuttering her words as she speaks.

Grant brings the pan down onto her ankle, burning it. The pain was unbearable. Olivia screams out and brings her hands up again to protect herself. She burns her hand again and quickly removes it. Grant uses this opportunity to whip the bottom of the pan against Olivia's upper arm.

She cries out harder. Olivia doesn't know what to hold onto or which part of her body hurt the most. Her entire body throbs as she tries to prevent herself from passing out from the pain.

Grant hovers the pan over her again and Olivia scoots back, accidentally placing her hands into the shards of glass on the floor. She cuts her burned palm and her blood drips onto the floor.

"You're going to kill me," she breaths out as she sees the pan above her. "Grant, that's enough… I can't take this."

"You're so pathetic," Grant scolds as he continues to hover the pan over her. "Say it. Tell me how pathetic and weak you are."

Olivia looks up at him, tears streaming down her face. She'd be willing to say anything to him in order to stop the pain.

"I am," she whispers. "I'm weak… Grant, please stop."

Grant throws the pan to the side and stares down at Olivia's naked and abused body.

"You look horrible. I don't even know if I want to fuck you now…look at you," Grant says, his tone harsh.

Olivia doesn't argue with him. She did not mind putting a hold on Grant raping her.

"Stand up," Grant commands her.

Olivia doesn't hesitate. She stands to her feet and her legs feel as if they would crumble beneath her. They shake as she struggles to keep standing.

"Come here," Grant says, cocking his head.

Olivia walks over to him, trembling as he steps closer to her. She can feel his clothing rubbing against her bare skin as Grant wraps his arms around her.

"This is much better," he whispers into her ear while reaching behind her to grope her ass. "We're going to make this work… we're going to make this last."

Olivia stays silent, nodding her head to keep him calm.

"I don't like hurting you. I love you," Grant continues. "Do you love me?"

Olivia was thrown off by his question. Somehow saying that she loved him was much more difficult than giving her body to him.

"Yes," she whispers to him.

"Say it," Grant persists, kissing her ear.

"I- I do… I love you," Olivia answers, stuttering.

Grant smiles and brings his hands to the small of her back.

"I know you do," he whispers. "I know you're sorry. I'm sorry too. I love you, Olivia… and you will see this once we spend more time together."

Grant gently moves her head to his chest as he continues speaking.

"That's why I can't leave without taking care of Roy… He would just ruin this. He would ruin it all for us. Don't you understand?" Grant asks, leaning back and lifting her chin to face him.

Olivia doesn't speak. She refuses to give Grant the okay to kill Roy and she doesn't argue because she doesn't want him snapping back to personality number 2; the cruel Grant… the Grant that snatched her from the shower, the Grant that killed a young woman and the Grant that burned her with a pan.

"I'm thirsty," Olivia says.

She knew this was a lie, but she decides to say whatever she could to keep them away from the bed and to keep Grant from hurting her. Grant smiles, looking down at her.

"Okay… we'll get you something to drink. Then we'll relax in the bed," he says softly, caressing her cheek.

Olivia swallows hard and nods her head. She silently prays that Roy will listen to his conscious; that he will inform the police and tell them about the horrible things that Grant has done to one of their own.

She also wishes by some miracle that the team knows she's missing and are searching for her. She closes her eyes and thinks of Elliot. She will remain strong for him. She couldn't let herself die here. She couldn't let Elliot find her broken and abused body. She might not be able to survive Grant raping her, but she vowed to stay alive for the one she loved.

**WHAT DO YOU THINK? PLEASE REVIEW FOR MORE! THANKS!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I COMPLETED TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY BECAUSE SO MANY OF YOU REQUESTED IT. MERRY CHRISTMAS. I HAD TO REVISE IT AND REUPLOAD IT AFTER MIDNIGHT SO TECHNICALLY IT ROLLED INTO TWO DAYS BUT WHATEVZ! **

Grant gently takes Olivia's wrist, leading her over to the refrigerator.

"Watch the glass," he says, pointing to the floor. "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

_The irony. _

Grant opens the refrigerator and looks through it.

"Beer, vodka, vodka, beer… Jesus, there's nothing but alcohol in this house," he says.

"That's okay. Water's fine," Olivia tells him.

Grant leans up, and stares at her, grinning.

"Nonsense. You'll have vodka," he says, grabbing one of the bottles.

Olivia doesn't argue with him, but she wasn't interested in having anything in her system that would impair her thoughts or affect her ability to defend herself.

"I want you nice and relaxed," Grant tells her.

He shuts the refrigerator door and opens a cabinet, pulling out a glass. He pours the vodka into the glass and watches as Olivia opens her mouth to protest. Olivia considers telling him, "That's enough," but she reminds herself that Grant most enjoys doing the opposite of what she wants and needs. She remains silent.

Grant pulls a chair out by the kitchen table.

"Sit," he says, while pulling out his own chair at the table.

Olivia hesitates, looking down at her naked body.

"I'll drink it… can I have some clothes first, please?" she asks in a soft tone.

Grant looks over and sees a jacket hanging on the coat rack near the door. He walks over and snatches it off before tossing it to Olivia. Olivia gratefully accepts it and puts it on. It wasn't exactly what she was hoping for, but she was happy to have anything covering her.

She sits on the chair, her bare behind making contact with the wooden seat. Grant sits down before sliding the glass over to her.

"Drink," he says, gazing at her.

Olivia picks up the vodka and takes a small sip. She looks into the glass while sipping and feels Grant staring her down as she drinks.

"I thought you said you were thirsty," Grant says, still gazing at her.

"I- I was," Olivia answers.

She really wants to set him straight and call him a dumbass for thinking that she could effortlessly pour the strong vodka down her throat like it was water. Instead, she remains silent and continues taking small sips.

"Finish it," Grant demands her. "Hurry up and drink it. I don't want to be waiting here all day."

For a short moment Olivia considers finishing it and asking for more. She knows that Grant wants to "relax in bed" after she's done, and she didn't want to be fully conscious while that was happening. She decides against it, knowing that if an opportunity for escape came up, she would be unable to perform due to her drunken state.

She sees fury appear in Grant's eyes as he waits so she begins drinking faster. The vodka was too strong. She leans over, coughing as some of the vodka flies from her mouth. Grant laughs and reaches his hand to rub her back.

"You okay?" he asks, laughing. "Slow down there."

Grant was good at emotionally torturing Olivia. He was telling her to slow down, but just seconds before he was commanding her to drink faster and threatening her with his fury filled eyes.

Olivia doesn't know how to react.

"I can't drink any faster…please, don't hurt me," she whispers before putting her lips to the glass again.

Olivia knows that the smallest things could make Grant snap. She never thought she would be apologizing to somebody for not drinking fast enough, but she figures she better be safe.

"I- I'm trying," she says, her shaky hand causing small quantities of vodka to spill over the sides of the glass.

Grant smiles. He loved that Olivia was apologizing for this. He could see her gradually becoming more and more submissive as the day went on.

"It's okay," Grant says, nodding. "Take your time."

Olivia finishes the vodka and places the glass on the table. Her body was already feeling the effect.

"What now?" she asks, staring over at Grant.

"Now… we go and relax," Grant responds. "You've had a rough day. I'm sure you're exhausted."

"I'm fine," Olivia says. "I'm not tired at all."

Truthfully, Olivia was worn out. She was on edge all day and had suffered through many forms of abuse. However, she didn't want to give Grant any reasons for her to get into bed with him.

"Well I am," Grant says. "And I can't have you roaming the house while I'm sleeping."

Grant removes himself from his chair and offers his hand for Olivia to stand. Olivia stands to her feet before Grant leads her through the hallway and into the bedroom. They walk around Christina's body and Grant guides her toward the bed.

"Lie down," Grant tells her, cocking his head toward the bed.

Olivia sits on the bed and her heart begins beating rapidly.

"Grant… can we please just rest?" Olivia asks, staring up at him.

"Yeah, that's the whole point," Grant says.

He sits near Olivia on the bed and brings each foot up to pull off his boots. He pulls the covers back and crawls to the center of the bed.

"Get in," he tells Olivia.

Olivia gets underneath the covers, slowly laying her head down onto the pillow, her back to Grant. She grabs the jacket she had on and pulls it tighter around her. She feels the bed dip as Grant moves closer to her.

"You're just so beautiful," he whispers into her ear.

He wraps his arms around her, his erection pressing into her naked behind. Olivia stares straight ahead and allows silent tears to slide down her face. She knew what was coming next. Grant caresses her face from behind and feels the wetness on her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" he asks in a gentle, concerned tone.

"Grant… Please don- don't…do this. Pl- Please," Olivia sobs.

"Shhh… It's okay," Grant soothes as he rubs his hand across her abs. "I'll be gentle."

Olivia tenses from his touch.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I disrespected and hurt you…just please don't do this," Olivia softly pleads again.

Grant ignores her pleas, gently pulling the jacket down each of her arms.

"You can do this," he tells her. "I know you can."

Olivia squeezes her eyes shut as she feels his rough hand on her breast, massaging it. Grant was gentle, but his touch made Olivia tremble. _This wasn't right. She didn't want this. This was rape._ _How could she relax?_

Grant takes his hand to her shoulder and turns her over onto her back. He stares into Olivia's wet eyes.

"Let me see," he says, gently pulling the covers away from her and examining her body. "I'm going to see where it hurts so I'll know not to touch you there."

He lifts her arm and sees the red burn mark he left there. He glides his hand over her side and Olivia flinches. He looks down and sees the dark bruises from the frying pan.

"I'm sorry, Olivia. I didn't mean to do this. Where else does it hurt?" he asks.

Olivia was too busy trying to zone out to answer him. Grant kisses her lips and Olivia presses them together. She releases more tears as she feels Grant's hand gliding up her inner thigh.

"You're so soft," he whispers to her.

Olivia lets out a painful gasp as Grant sticks two of his fingers into her folds. Olivia wanted to separate herself from her own body. His touch was too overwhelming.

"Did I hurt you?" Grant asks before leaning over her and gently kissing her stomach.

Olivia's stomach begins quivering as she lets out shallow breaths.

"Yes… yes, you're hurting me. Please stop," Olivia cries, shaking beneath him.

"It'll be okay. This is our first time doing this… you're just nervous."

Olivia looks down at Grant's pants and notices that he wasn't carrying.

_He must've left his gun in the kitchen_, she thinks.

Olivia decides that she is already too exposed to overpower Grant and prevent him from raping her. She considers fighting him, but knows she will only be left with more bruises and burns if she chooses to do so.

She lets out a quiet whimper as she hears Grant unzipping his pants.

"Please… I'm not ready," Olivia begs him, whispering.

Grant kisses her forehead before stroking her face.

"You're ready," he responds while he positions himself over her and gently nudges her legs apart.

Grant slowly enters her and Olivia cries out. He's gentle with his thrusts, slowly moving in and out of Olivia. Olivia's crying intensifies as he pushes himself deeper and deeper into her.

"It's okay," he grunts. "Next time you'll be ready… Next time you'll be wet."

Olivia squeezes her eyes shut as Grant's thrusts become more powerful.

"You feel so good," he grunts while moving deeper into her. "Tell me you love it."

Olivia remains silent until she feels Grant getting rougher with each thrust.

"I- I love…I love it," she cries, stammering her words.

"I know you do," Grant whispers as he thrusts inside her for the last couple times.

He yells out as he pumps into her for the final time. He pulls out and throws himself back to the center of the bed by Olivia's side.

"You're the best one," he says, breathing hard. "You're mine… we have to do this again."

Olivia silently cries and remains on her back. Her biggest fear had come true; she had been raped by Grant Meyers. She feels his moisture between her legs as she closes them together.

"Don't fight it," Grant continues. "Don't force yourself to hate it just because of the circumstance you're in. I love you, Olivia… and you're going to learn to love me in return."

Olivia couldn't believe what she was hearing. As much as she didn't want Elliot finding her dead body, she was ready for death. The thought of Grant raping her over and over again brings more tears to her eyes.

Grant reaches his hand out and gently wipes them away.

"You're upsetting me, Olivia," he says, wiping each cheek. "Stop it. Stop it now."

Olivia shakes as she tries to hold in her tears. The last thing she wanted was to be beaten by Grant after she was raped.

"You're making me angry and I don't want to hurt you right now," Grant warns her.

"I- I'm sorry…I c- can't…I can't help it," Olivia cries to him, taking shaky breaths.

"But if I have to hurt you again, I will," Grant says. "Now stop crying."

Olivia holds her breath and concentrates on keeping her tears from falling. Grant was coldhearted. He beat, burned and raped her, and he was now forbidding her from crying. Olivia thought she would at least have that right.

"Don't hurt me. I'm trying not to cry…I really am," Olivia says in a weak tone, staring into Grant's cold eyes.

He was becoming furious and Olivia couldn't understand why. Grant's switch turned off and on, depending on the second of the day. Olivia hadn't put up a struggle. She remained on her back and let Grant rape her. Somehow, that was not good enough for him.

"You didn't want me. You didn't ask for me," Grant begins, staring down at Olivia. "You told me to stop and cried like some pansy."

Olivia feels her heart drop as she stares into his eyes. If Grant was going to be explosive and snap on her anyway then Olivia should have just resisted him.

"Grant, I didn't move. I let you have me. Please don't be upset," Olivia cries as she shrinks back in fear.

Grant's face relaxes, causing Olivia to relax.

"I'll let it slide because it was your first time. Next time I want you begging for me to take you… not pleading for me to stop," Grant warns her.

"Okay. I'm sorry," Olivia says, nodding her head.

Olivia promises to herself that there won't be a next time. She needed to escape from this living hell and quickly. If Roy wasn't going to turn on Grant then she would have to fight her own battles.

**I'LL TRY FINISHING UP ANOTHER CHAPTER (OR TWO) TOMORROW… AS ALWAYS… READING REVIEWS PUTS ME IN THE MOOD TO WRITE. THANKS! LEAVE A COMMENT HERE OR ON MY TWITTER. I'M iSpyMH**


	12. Chapter 12

"_I love you, Olivia…I love everything about you," Elliot whispers into her ear as she rests in his arms on the bed. _

"_I know you do, El," Olivia says as she leans her head back into his chest._

_Elliot brings his hand to her forehead, gently tilting her head back to face him._

"_Why don't you ever say it back?" he asks, rubbing his hand through her hair. _

_Olivia looks up into Elliot's eyes and looks back down, twiddling her fingers. _

"_Elliot… I can't. You're married," Olivia answers.. _

_Elliot reaches down to her fidgety fingers and caresses her hand._

"_Liv, I can't imagine living without you. When I'm not around you, I'm not myself. I've never felt that way about Kathy. Not once. I can't keep living this lie anymore. That's why I've decided to end it. Not just for you or us, but for me. I have to."_

_Olivia rubs his arm and brings his hand up to her lips to give it a gentle kiss._

"_I'm happy for you, Elliot. I'm glad that you're a man that follows his heart… and I do love you. "_

_Olivia could feel Elliot smiling on her scalp._

"_I wasn't being fair to you… to us," Elliot whispers to her. "I was forcing myself back into a relationship, not because of love but because I wanted to make it work… for my kids. They're miserable, Liv. I'm not helping anybody by forcing this relationship. And I don't want to lose you…I don't want to ever lose you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Liv."_

_Elliot made Olivia feel warm. She felt safe in his arms and loved the comfort he provided to her. _

"_Olivia," he whispers to her. "Olivia… Olivia… Olivia…"_

_Wait… this wasn't Elliot's voice…someone else was calling her name._

"Olivia."

She hears another whisper, awakening her from her sleep.

"Olivia."

She opens her eyes and sees a blurry image of the man who was repeating her name. She adjusts her eyes to the room light and sees Roy standing over her by the bed. She moves slightly and feels something wrapped around her waist.

She looks down at her waist to see Grant's arm securely wrapped around her. She could hear Grant snoring behind her and could feel his hot breath on her neck. She looks to the floor and realizes that Grant had cleaned the mess of blood and had hidden Christina's body.

_How the hell did I fall asleep with this monster around?_ she wonders.

"Olivia, are you all right?" Roy whispers, his face full of concern.

Olivia turns her head slowly and sees Grant sleeping behind her. Not wanting to wake him, she faces Roy and slowly shakes her head.

"No," she mouths to him.

"What can I get for you?" Roy asks in a soft voice.

"Please get me out of here," Olivia whispers. "He's going to kill me…He's going to kill_ you_."

Olivia tenses as she hears Grant groaning behind her as he gradually awakens from his sleep. He stretches his arms and then stares up at Roy.

"Hey, Roy," he says as he rubs his eyes. "What are you doing home so early?"

"I'm not early. It's almost 7 pm," Roy responds.

Grant turns his head, looking out the window. Daylight was nearly gone as the sun was setting in the horizon.

"Oh," he yawns. "Damn, we've been sleeping for a long time."

Grant leans over and stares down at Olivia to see her eyes closed.

"She's had quite a day," Grant says.

Olivia could feel his chest vibrating on her back as he spoke.

"She had a tough time adjusting…but once I cooked for her and we relaxed a little, she was happy," Grant continues, rubbing Olivia's head.

Roy looks down and sees Olivia's body partially uncovered.

"Yeah, I can see that," he responds. "You had sex with her?"

Grant tilts his eyebrows before sitting up.

"Don't be such a pussy, Roy. I certainly didn't bring her here just to look at her," Grant answers in a harsh tone. "Grow a pair."

Roy looks back down at Olivia and sees her eyes still closed shut, her bottom lip shaking.

"What are you going to do with her?" Roy asks.

Grant shakes his head, letting out a small laugh.

"You amaze me, man. Why do you care? Why are you so invested in this bitch? You got a hard-on for her or somethin'?" Grant asks while dragging his fingers along Olivia's arm. "Because I could always share her."

Roy lets out a fake laugh.

"Naw, man…You know I don't give a fuck about bitches," Roy responds. "I was just curious."

Grant nods his head.

"She's staying with me. I'm gonna keep her," Grant says, massaging her shoulder. "I love this one, man."

Olivia was frustrated with herself for falling asleep so easily. If Grant had enough time to clean up the mess around the house, then that would have given her ample time to escape.

She assumes the kitchen and bathroom were also clean because Roy hadn't mentioned it.

_Why would he clean up if he planned on killing Roy anyway?_ Olivia thinks.

Her eyes remain closed as she continues to pretend to sleep.

"Should I order something?" Roy asks.

"Yeah, sounds great," Grant answers. "Why don't you go order a pizza or something."

Roy stares down at Olivia before exiting the room.

Grant shakes Olivia's shoulder.

"Wake up," he whispers in her ear.

Olivia opens her eyes and Grant turns her onto her back.

"Did you have a good sleep?" he asks, gently stroking her abs with his fingers.

Olivia slowly nods her head, her eyes wide with fear as she stares at him.

"Good," Grant responds while bringing his hand up to her chin. "Because there's been a change of plans. You were right. I don't think Roy's going to be a problem… just as long as you stay calm. Can you do that?"

Olivia nods her head again.

"Yes," she whispers, barely loud enough for Grant to hear her.

"Good girl. Well… we're going to order some pizza…and then maybe afterwards we can resume from where we left off. How's that sound?" he asks while kissing her forehead.

Olivia closes her eyes and they sting as her tears threaten to escape.

After hearing no response, Grant brings his hand to the burned part of her arm, squeezing it.

"I said, How does that sound?" he grits through his teeth.

Olivia lets out a small cry and brings the opposite hand to her arm.

"Good," she lies as tears gather in the corners of her eyes. "That…that sounds good."

Grant leans down to her quivering lips and kisses them.

"I can't wait," he growls against her mouth. "I love you, Olivia."

**Location: Grant's Apartment**

"I don't see anything, detective. There's no sign that Benson was here."

Elliot looks at the young tech and shakes his head.

"That's not what we're looking for," Elliot says. "Meyers has taken her… I _don't_ need evidence to tell me that. We're looking for something that will lead us to where they are. Flyers, receipts, a personal phonebook with names, paper with writing on it… anything. Meyers wouldn't be stupid enough to take her here!"

Elliot was becoming furious with the young tech.

"Why don't you keep searching, Junior. Detective Stabler needs a little break," Fin says, excusing the young tech.

"No problem, Sir," the tech says as he heads to a different part of the apartment.

"He's new," Fin shrugs.

"Yeah, that's the problem," Elliot responds. "There are not enough people on this… people who know what the hell they're doing!"

Fin pats Elliot on the back.

"It's okay, Elliot. We've got nearly every person in blue working on finding her. That's just one lousy tech… there's many more techs working on this," he reassures him.

"Where could he have taken her?" Elliot asks while shaking his head.

"We're looking into it," Fin answers. "We're looking at every place on record that he's visited… his family… his friends. We'll get 'em."

"God…" Elliot whispers. "Every second that goes by is another second that he's hurting Liv. I know that bastard's hurting her!"

"Elliot, you can't think like that right now. I need you to focus. We all want Olivia back. If you keep talking like that, Cragen's gonna remove you," Fin warns him.

"I don't care," Elliot responds. "Nothing will prevent me from looking for her. Cragen can take me off the case! I'll never stop searching."

Munch walks up to them and glances over at Elliot before facing Fin.

"What's next?" Munch asks.

"We dumped his phone and we're waiting for the results," Fin answers. "We highly doubt that he has it on him, but we're hoping that there will be records of him using his phone at whatever location he's keeping Olivia at. We're gonna check everywhere."

Elliot drops his head and tears start gathering in his eyes. He couldn't help but to be doubtful about everything. Olivia was missing and he knew that she was with a rapist and a murderer.

He couldn't focus on the case because his mind was elsewhere, thinking of all the possible things that Grant Meyers could be doing to Olivia.

Fin was leading the case because the rest of the team saw that Elliot couldn't keep his emotions in check. They needed someone stable leading the case and Elliot couldn't provide that.

Elliot thinks back to the time that he confessed his love to Olivia and told her that he couldn't imagine living without her. He allows tears to roll down his face as he hears Olivia's voice. He hears her tender voice telling him that she cares for him. He hears her whispering in his ear. He hears her joyful laugh. He closes his eyes as the sweet memories of Olivia flow through him.

Suddenly, he hears Fin's phone ringing in the background.

"Elliot, we may have gotten somethin'," Fin says, snapping Elliot back to reality.

**Location: Roy's House**

"Let's see what we can find here," Grant says, removing himself from the bed and walking over to the dresser.

He opens a drawer and begins picking through the clothes.

"From now on…I'm the only one that can see you naked, you understand?" Grant says as he tosses some of the old t-shirts onto the floor.

Olivia sits up in the bed and continues listening to Grant.

"That includes that asshole detective…the one you whored yourself out to every night. He'll never see you this way again," Grant continues. "You're mine, do you understand?"

Olivia nods her head as Grant pauses and stares at her.

"And that nodding bullshit has got to stop," Grant says while grabbing a large t-shirt from the drawer. "When I speak to you, you answer me, understand?"

Olivia nearly nods her head again until she realizes what Grant was ordering her to do.

"Yes," she answers in a timid tone.

Grant walks over to Olivia and hands her a large gray t-shirt.

"Here, put this on…and don't go out there acting like a little whore in front of Roy," he says, harshly.

"Okay," Olivia whispers while accepting the t-shirt and putting it on.

Grant grabs her upper arm and pulls her off the bed. His grip on her was rougher than necessary. Olivia didn't know what had him so upset all of a sudden, but she decides to do whatever she can to assure that she wouldn't do anything to add to his anger.

She whimpers as Grant keeps his grip on her upper arm where he had burned her. They walk into the main room and Grant pushes her down onto the sofa.

"Order the food yet?" Grant asks, staring at Roy who was on the other end of the sofa.

"Yup, I ordered sausage. I hope that's okay with you two," Roy says, staring at Olivia.

Olivia doesn't respond. Food was the last thing on her mind. She was too worried about Grant snapping and using his gun on Roy. _Where is his gun?_ she wonders as she scans the room.

"Do you hear the man talking to you?"

Olivia looks up to see Grant's eyes full of rage as he stares down at her.

"Wha- What?" Olivia asks as she looks from Grant and over to Roy.

"Is sausage fine?" Roy repeats.

"Um… yeah," Olivia says, nodding. "Sausage is fine."

Grant crosses his arms and stares down at Olivia, frowning. He was clearly furious with her but Olivia didn't know what she did to make him furious or what she could do to change it. She puts on a fake half smile as she speaks to Roy.

"Thanks for ordering the food," she tells him.

She figures she wasn't being grateful enough. Maybe that's why Grant was so upset with her. She looks over to him and sees that he was still furious if not more furious than before.

Roy heads into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator.

"I wasn't thinking. I should have ordered something to drink, as well. There's nothing but alcohol in here," Roy says as he looks through the refrigerator.

Grant sits down near Olivia and places his hand on her leg. Olivia holds back her cries as he pinches into her thigh.

"Stop acting like that!" he growls, gritting through his teeth.

"Like what? What did I do?" Olivia whispers as she stares into his ice cold eyes.

"Like a whore! Quit fucking flirting!" Grant demands, releasing her.

Olivia couldn't believe it. Grant was accusing her of flirting with Roy and she had hardly spoken to him. He was furious with her. Olivia swallows hard and shuts her eyes. She didn't know what she would say or how she would react to Roy from here on out.

She knew she wasn't flirting with Roy, but she couldn't tell if Grant actually believed that she was or if he was just looking for more ways to torture her now that she was cooperating with him.

Before Roy walks back over to the sofa Grant pulls Olivia toward him and whispers harshly into her ear.

"I'm going to treat you like a whore after this… since you love it so much."

Olivia scans the room again, desperately searching for anything she could use against Grant. She couldn't let this happen to her again.

She curses herself for falling asleep earlier. Now, too many things were a mystery to her.

She didn't know where Christina's body was, where Grant's gun was or if Roy had any idea what kind of psychopath he was dealing with since Grant had hidden all evidence of his tirade. The kitchen was now clean and Roy had no idea that there was a dead body hiding in his house.

Olivia was desperate to yell out and warn Roy of the dangers that he and she were facing.

**MORE ANGST TO COME… PREPARE YOURSELVES. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! THANKS. **


	13. Chapter 13

_**A reader informed me that I was revising/editing my stories the wrong way, which explains why false alarms were being sent out. I apologize for getting some of you all excited on some days only to find out that there is no new chapter…lol My bad. That issue has been resolved now. Again, I'm new to this… so if you see any other problems that need mentioning please shoot me a message. As always, thanks for reading. **_

Roy walks back over to the sofa and before he takes his seat Grant starts speaking to him.

"You know what, Roy… You're right. We're going to need something more to drink in this house besides alcohol. Why don't you go out and pick something up for us," Grant suggests.

Roy faces Olivia and sees her eyes go wide.

"Are ya sure?" Roy asks. "The pizza might get here before I'm back with the drinks."

Olivia turns her head slightly both ways, shaking her head at Roy. She did not want to be left alone with Grant. She suspects that Grant was only sending him out because he had plans to abuse her in some way while Roy was gone.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Grant answers. "Go pick up a 24-pack of something. Maybe some Coke or some Sprite."

Roy did not want to leave Olivia alone with Grant. His guilty conscience was getting worse as the day went on and as much as he was devoted to Grant, Olivia was bringing out the soft side in him. However, he knew that if he refused that Grant would only become more suspicious of him. Roy planned on helping Olivia, but he was waiting for the right moment.

Despite what Olivia thought about Roy, Roy knew how crazy Grant was. He'd known him for several years and was now sad to admit to himself that Grant was his closest friend. He'd do anything for Grant. When Roy was facing charges for robbery, Grant offered to be his alibi with no hesitation. Grant also offered his apartment when Roy was out of a job and needed a place to stay.

All of the favors Grant had done for Roy were meaning less and less to him. He couldn't do this. He couldn't watch Grant continue to abuse this innocent woman. Every time Roy stared into Olivia's precious brown eyes, his heart ached for her. He drags his feet while walking over to the coat rack to grab his jacket.

"I'll be back really soon," he says.

He was facing Grant but he was actually speaking to Olivia. He wanted her to know that her pain wouldn't last long.

Roy walks out the door and Olivia and Grant hear the lock click.

**Location: The 16****th**** Precinct **

"What've we got?" Cragen asks, anxiously looking at all of his detectives and the uniforms around them.

"Grant has a lot of connections," Munch answers. "He's associated himself with a lot of ex-cons and screw-ups, but two guys in particular stand out the most."

"Timothy Deatherage and Roy Holmes," Fin continues. "Timothy spent some time in Attica and we have cell phone records of him and Meyers doing a lot of talking."

"And Holmes?" Cragen asks.

"Holmes had mail coming to Meyers' apartment. We're guessing that he lived there for over a year," Munch responds.

"Waste no time," Cragen says. "Check them out. Munch, you and I are going to Deatherage's. Fin, you and Elliot go check out Roy's place. We'll worry about warrants later. Move."

Without hesitation, the detectives and the captain exit the squad room.

**Location: Roy's House**

Olivia stares at Grant, waiting for him to explode about whatever was upsetting him. Her hands start shaking in her lap as she stares into his eyes.

"What's your problem?" Grant says with fury in his voice.

Olivia doesn't answer him. What could she say? She knew she wasn't being flirtatious, and she wasn't about to admit to it. Admitting to it would not make Grant any less angry so she didn't see it as an option.

Grant was obviously distressed about something and abusing Olivia was his way of relieving that stress.

"You answer me when I speak to you," Grant demands.

"Grant, I don't know what to say," Olivia responds in a soft tone. "Please… just tell me what I did."

"You know _exactly_ what you did. You've got your legs all out for everyone to see. You just love acting like a whore. You're no different from the rest of them," Grant scolds.

Olivia bows her head, breaking eye contact with him.

"Grant, this is what you gave me to wear... If you want, I can put on something else," she says, her voice shaky.

Grant shakes his head and stands up.

"It doesn't matter what you wear. You'll still be a whore."

Olivia knows that Grant had forbid her from crying, but she can't control her emotions as tears begin pooling in her eyes. Grant had no reason to insult her and be furious with her, and Olivia knew that no matter what she said or did that the end result would be the same.

"Stand up," Grand commands.

Olivia slowly pushes herself off the sofa. She stares down at her feet while standing.

"Go on," Grant tells her. "Act like a whore."

Olivia doesn't move. She was still emotionally scarred and physically sore from her rape. She couldn't imagine initiating the torture that she experienced hours ago. She keeps her head bowed as she speaks to him.

"I…I haven't done anything wrong. Why do you want to hurt me?" she softly cries.

Grant disregards her question and closes in on the gap between them. He reaches underneath her baggy shirt and rubs his fingers along her entrance.

"You're dry…again," he says, frowning in anger.

Olivia doesn't look up at him.

"It's because I don't want this," she whispers to him through her sobs. "Please…I'm begging you."

"You make me fucking sick," Grant growls. "I've done nothing but treat you right, and you refuse to give yourself to me!"

Olivia doesn't respond. If Grant's definition of "treat you right" was punching, choking, suffocating and burning someone, then he was crazier than Olivia thought. There was no reasoning with him.

"Lay down on the floor," Grant demands.

Olivia finally releases the tears that were pooled in the corners of her eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening again so soon. She thought she would have more time to prepare herself for Grant's next assault.

Grant pushes down on her shoulders and Olivia slowly sits down on the dirty shag carpet that covered the living room floor. Grant kneels down with her.

"Lay on your back," he says as he watches Olivia's tears fall.

He forces Olivia onto her back when she doesn't move.

"Do you want me to burn you again? Is that why you're not listening?"

He grips his hands around her ankles and pulls her toward him. Both of her legs were on either side of his body. Olivia screams at herself to fight, but she was frozen in fear as Grant continued to manipulate her body.

"By refusing to get wet for me, you're just hurting yourself," Grant says as he unzips his pants. "I hope every second of this hurts you… that'll teach you."

Olivia begins quietly sobbing as Grant lowers himself down on top of her.

_Fight him!_ she screams to herself inside.

Grant had Olivia scared out of her mind. She knew that she wouldn't be able to push herself up. She had Grant's strength and reflexes memorized. She also knew that if she tried, the abuse would be even more severe.

"Please…please don't be rough with me," she begs, whispering. "I'm already hurting."

She knew there was no escaping this rape, but she thought that Grant would at least consider being gentle again if she asked.

"You're a slut," Grant scolds her. "Since when do sluts not like it rough?"

Grant pushes hard into her and Olivia's insides immediately begin burning.

"No," she cries. "You…You're really hurting me."

Olivia begins struggling beneath him. The pain was too much.

"Be still," Grant growls as he begins thrusting inside of her.

He nudges her legs further apart as he buries himself deeper inside her.

"You'll know not to act like a whore next time, won't you?" he tells her.

Olivia couldn't hear what he was telling her. The pain was unbearable. Her entire focus was on the burning between her legs. Olivia temporarily blacks out, going in and out of consciousness as Grant continued to rape her.

She doesn't notice Grant pulling out of her and standing as she's barely conscious on the floor. Grant lifts Olivia up and places her back onto the sofa. Olivia drops her head on the arm of the sofa, still dazed with her eyes closed.

In the background she hears a door opening. Grant and Roy's voices echo in her mind as they speak.

"How'd you get back so fast?" Grant asks.

"I just went straight to the corner store," Roy responds.

"What'd you run there? It's only been a few minutes!" Grant says, practically yelling.

Roy shrugs at him.

"I thought you'd be happy. I didn't want you guys waiting on drinks," Roy answers, setting the cans on the floor near the sofa.

He looks over at Olivia to see her leaned over with her eyes fluttering open and shut.

"What's wrong with her?" Roy asks.

"She's tired," Grant responds. "Jesus, would you quit worrying about her, man! You're starting to piss me off."

Olivia feels the sofa sink as Grant and Roy sit down. Grant grabs the remote, turning on the television. Roy looks over at Olivia who was still drifting in and out. He looks down at her thighs to see Grant's sticky substance dripping down them. He frowns and drops his head in regret.

Olivia finally starts to come around but keeps her eyes closed and her head resting on the arm. She felt humiliated and completely exposed, and she couldn't stare either Grant or Roy in the face.

"Pizza's here," Roy says as they hear the car door shutting outside.

Grant peaks out the blinds and sees no cars with pizza delivery logos on them. He looks across the street and sees a parked unmarked car before looking to the walkway and seeing two men quickly approaching the house. Grant dashes down the hallway before Roy opens the door.

Surprised to see the two men, Roy is speechless.

"Good evening. Are you Roy Holmes?"

Olivia hears Elliot's voice, but guesses that it was only her imagination. She remains on the sofa, still leaning on the sofa arm with her eyes shut closed.

"Yes, I…I'm Roy Holmes," Roy answers.

"Mr. Holmes, do you mind if we step inside and speak with you? This should only take a moment."

Olivia knew that voice.

_Call out! _She screams to herself. _Call his name!_

"M- may I..May I ask you wha- what this is about?" Roy speaks, stuttering his words.

Elliot suddenly hears a faint cry coming from inside of the house.

"Elliot," Olivia whispers, thinking she was speaking louder than she actual was. "El…Elliot."

Elliot furrows his eyebrows and pushes Roy out of the way.

"Move!" Elliot orders as Roy stumbles to the side.

Fin and Elliot rush inside with their guns raised and they turn to the sofa. Elliot's heart drops into his stomach as he sees Olivia on the sofa, her eyes barely open.

"Liv!" Elliot cries as he approaches her.

Elliot cups her face and rubs his hand gently down her cheek.

Fin pushes Roy against the wall, forcing both of his hands behind his back to cuff him.

"Get on your knees! Now!" Fin yells.

Roy gets to his knees and stares over at Olivia.

"Don't move!" Fin orders as he takes his gun out again and raises it.

"You got her?" Fin asks, facing Elliot.

"Yeah, go!" Elliot tells him.

Fin scans the kitchen before walking down the hallway with his gun raised.

Elliot pulls out his walkie.

"We need a bus and backup! 9th Street! Address number: 4409! We have an injured cop! Rush it!" Elliot yells while still caressing Olivia's face.

He sets his walkie down and cradles Olivia's head into his chest.

"Elliot," Olivia whispers.

She couldn't think of anything else to say. She was in shock.

Elliot looks down at her wet and bruised thigh. He brings his lips to the top of her head, kissing her hair.

"It's okay, baby," he whispers. "I'm here… You're gonna be okay, Olivia. It's over."

Elliot takes his jacket off and wraps it around her body.

"Don't worry, Liv. It's over. It's over," he repeats.

Fin comes back into the room.

"We're clear. No sign of Meyers," he tells Elliot.

Elliot cocks his head at Roy.

"He knows where Meyers is."

Fin walks over to Roy and swings his fist, punching Roy in the jaw and knocking him to the floor.

"Where is he, you son of bitch?" Fin growls at him.

"I don't know!" Roy responds, breathing hard. "The last time I saw him he was sitting on the sofa. I swear…I don't know where he went."

Fin looks over at Elliot.

"The window was wide open in one of the other rooms. The bastard must've jumped out of it," Fin says.

Elliot brings his hand to Olivia's ear while her other ear remained on his chest. He didn't want her to hear what Fin was telling him.

Roy remains on the floor, practically crying as he speaks.

"I tried… I tried to help her…I was gonna help her," Roy tells them.

Elliot clinches his fist tight. He didn't care if Roy was telling the truth or not. The fact is that Roy _didn't_ help her and for that Elliot hated him almost as much as he hated Grant. Roy allowed this to happen.

"I'm sorry," Roy breathes out.

"You sorry mother fucker!" Elliot says while pulling himself away from Olivia to approach Roy. Before he could walk toward him Olivia grabs onto his shirt, clinging onto him.

"Elliot, don't leave me! Please, don't leave me!" Olivia cries out, panicked.

That was the first actual sentence Olivia had spoken to him and hearing her voice broke his heart. He wraps his arms around her.

"I'm sorry. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, Olivia," Elliot whispers to her.

He looks over at Roy.

"Fin, take his sorry ass to the car…or I swear I'm gonna kill him," Elliot says.

Elliot hears the sirens approaching the house and stares down at Olivia.

"You're going to be okay. We're going to take you to the hospital now… it's over, Liv," he reassures her.

Olivia clings onto his shirt again, her grip tighter than before.

"Elliot, I'm not safe there. I can't…Grant's going to kill me. It's not over. He's not finished with me," Olivia softly cries. "He won't stop until he kills me."

Elliot clinches his fist again and frowns out of anger. The hospital that Olivia had convinced so many victims to go to, she was now afraid of. Elliot hated Grant. He hated him for hurting Olivia and he hated him for instilling terror into her.

He couldn't let his anger show in front of her. She needed someone to comfort her.

"Olivia… I won't let you out of my sight. Grant's never coming near you again. I promise you that."

Olivia stares into Elliot's eyes. She trusted Elliot, but she feared that he was underestimating Grant. Elliot hadn't spent an entire day with this man. Olivia knew Grant. She knew the only way to prevent Grant from hurting her again was to find him first.

The paramedics roll a gurney into the house. Elliot holds onto Olivia's hand as they approach her.

"Elliot, we have to find him… we have to," Olivia whispers before they surround her.

"I'm gonna find him, Liv." _And I'm gonna kill him._

Cops swarm into the house before the paramedics lift Olivia onto the gurney, leading outside.

_**MUCH MUCH MORE TO COME… PLEASE REVIEW HERE OR LEAVE A COMMENT ON MY TWITTER. I'M iSpyMH on twitter. THANKS FOR READING… I ENJOY READING ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS!**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! A reader informed me that sometimes I switch back and forth from present to past tense. I've been writing these stories so fast that I hadn't even noticed. I try to stay consistent, but I guess I've been slipping up at times. I need to slow down and I'll watch that from now on. I hope it hasn't been too much of a distraction for you guys. If you have any other constructive criticism to offer, please do. I won't be mad… I love improving my story. Thanks!**

**Location: Olivia's Apartment**

Elliot and Olivia approach Olivia's apartment door and Elliot kindly takes Olivia's keys from her hand to unlock the door.

"You've had a long night," he says while removing the key and pushing the door open. "You were very brave tonight, Liv."

Olivia simply nods her head and walks past Elliot and into her apartment. She stops and looks down at the clean floor where one of Grant's victims once was, dead with her neck slit open.

"I still think you should have stayed for a bit longer," Elliot says while gently removing his jacket from her back. "I want to make sure that you're well."

Olivia walks over to the sofa and sits down, sighing.

"Elliot, I'm fine. I was only gone for a day. I was beat up a little, but bruises heal. I don't need to be cooped up in some hospital all night," Olivia answers in a soft tone.

Elliot nods and swallows hard. He really wants to ask her what she means by "beat up a little." He wants to know everything that went on while she was with Grant. However, Elliot knows better. He knows that it is too soon for Olivia to open up to him. As much as he wants to question her, he wants her focus entirely on getting better, not on Grant Meyers.

Elliot knows that Olivia was raped and it breaks his heart. When she didn't refuse the rape kit at the hospital, it tore Elliot up inside. Elliot is not surprised that she was raped. Truthfully, that is what he expected to happen. However, a big part of him was hoping by some miracle that Grant chose not to rape her. Elliot flashes back to finding Olivia on the sofa, her thighs bruised and wet with semen. His eyes burn as he tries to hold back his tears.

He watches her hand go to her bandaged arm where Grant had burned her. She presses down on the bandage, making sure it is secure. Elliot torments himself as his mind races to figure out how she got that burn. His eyes fill up with tears as he imagines all the tortures that Olivia endured.

Elliot sits on the sofa and gently takes Olivia's hand in his.

"I'm sorry, Olivia," he whispers. "I should have been there for you."

Olivia slowly shakes her head and stares into Elliot's eyes.

"This has nothing to do with you, Elliot. Grant Meyers did this," she responds.

Although Elliot knows that Grant Meyers was to blame, he partially blames himself for not listening to Olivia and backing down when they were confronted by Grant Meyers in the bar.

"I know," Elliot continues. "But I was selfish… I couldn't protect you because I didn't listen to you."

Elliot gently massages her hand while staring into her eyes. Olivia notices the tears forming in Elliot's eyes and shakes her head again.

"Elliot, that was just plan A," she whispers to him. "Meyers had a plan B. If you would have never gone off on Meyers, he would have thought of some other way of taking me. Trust me."

Elliot bows his head and allows some of his tears to roll down his face.

"I'm just sorry that he hurt you. Liv, I'm never going to let him hurt you again," Elliot cries softly.

Olivia knows that Elliot would sacrifice everything to protect her. However, she also knows Grant. She knows how obsessed Grant is with finishing what he started and how drawn Grant is to her. She can't help but to feel uneasy, even with Elliot by her side.

Elliot looks up at her and sees the fear in her eyes.

"Liv, there's no need to be afraid," he says, shaking his head.

Olivia decides to be truthful with Elliot. She is tempted to agree with him, but she feels suffocated as she keeps her true feelings to herself.

"Elliot, Grant has nothing to lose now… and you weren't there. You don't really know him. I do. Even if Grant doesn't succeed, I know he's at least planning on coming after me. He's obsessed, Elliot. He lost his control over me and he _will_ want it back," Olivia whispers.

Elliot doesn't respond. He can't argue with what she stated because part of him feels the same way. The only thing that Elliot can do is offer his protection.

"I'm looking after you… we have several cops looking after you, as well. Grant's not getting near you," he reassures her.

Olivia nods her head and stares into her lap. Tears begin pooling in her eyes as her fear builds up. This isn't her first time hearing that.

"I'm scared, Elliot," she whispers.

Those words break his heart.

"Liv… what did he do? Please, tell me what he did," Elliot whispers as he places his hand on her knee.

Olivia is wearing hospital scrubs and feels Elliot's hand through the thin material.

"Everything," Olivia responds softly.

Even though it does, her intention isn't to torture Elliot, but that one word truly explains how she feels. She thinks of the beatings, Grant forcing a pillow down onto her face, burning her, killing women in front of her and Grant raping her. She feels as if she had experienced it all. In her mind, there is nothing more that Grant could have done to abuse and break her down.

Elliot frowns and lifts himself to scoot closer to her.

"What do you mean? " he asks.

Olivia doesn't respond. She doesn't think that Elliot can handle it. Furthermore, Olivia's not sure if _she _can handle it.

"Olivia, you can tell me," Elliot says, gazing into her eyes.

Elliot gently lifts her arm up and stares down at her bandage.

"What did he do? What happened here?" he asks, whispering.

Olivia closes her eyes and flashes back to the kitchen. She remembers Grant hovering the pan over her and the sadistic look on his face as he approached her.

"A pan," Olivia answers. "He burned me with a pan."

Elliot furrows his eyebrows and clinches his fists. Maybe it's best that Olivia not tell him. She shares only one part of the abuse with him and Elliot's rage toward Grant is already showing.

"I'm gonna kill him," he whispers under his breath.

Suddenly, Olivia starts to speak again, taking Elliot by surprise as she goes into further detail about the previous hours she spent with Grant.

"Roy was going to help me… I could see it in his eyes," Olivia whispers to him. "It was only a matter of time."

Elliot struggles with the fact that Olivia feels sympathetic toward Roy. He hates Roy for not helping Olivia and it took everything in him not to strangle Roy while he was cuffed.

"But he didn't. He could have called the police, Olivia…you _cannot_ allow yourself to feel sorry for that animal. He's no better than Meyers for not helping you," Elliot tells her.

Olivia nods her head and continues speaking.

"I thought he was going to kill me. I thought I was going to die, Elliot. When he had that pillow over my face a part of me thought that was it for me," Olivia speaks in a soft tone.

Elliot closes his eyes and sees red. His nails dig into his palms as he imagines Grant suffocating her.

"That coward," Elliot says. "He's a fucking coward."

Olivia jumps slightly when Elliot speaks. Grant's yelling and cursing quickly come to her mind as Elliot uses the strong language. Olivia is no longer comfortable with that word because it was used against her so many times during Grant's tirades.

Elliot notices Olivia's reaction and immediately apologizes.

"I'm sorry," he says, gently grabbing her hand again.

Olivia blushes, embarrassed by her frightened reaction to Elliot's cussing. She shakes it off and gazes into Elliot's eyes again. She trusts him. She knows that if she were to share her painful experience with anybody that it would be Elliot.

"He shot her, El. He raped her and shot her right in front of me," Olivia continues. "Where'd they find her?"

Elliot knows that it won't help Olivia any by providing her with a mental image of Christina's body stuffed away in some closet, but he can't disregard her question.

"They found her in one of the closets," Elliot answers her, his tone gentle.

"They probably found my clothes in there too then… He threw me down on top of her, ordering me to clean up the blood," Olivia says, closing her eyes.

Olivia tastes Christina's blood in her mouth as she thinks back to that moment, remembering how Christina's blood covered her lips and face.

Elliot feels sick to his stomach as Olivia speaks. His hatred toward Grant increases the more she shares with him. Elliot is no longer interested in killing Grant on the spot. He wants to make him suffer. Elliot wants Grant to call out for mercy as he inflicts unimaginable pain on him.

"What else did he do?" Elliot asks, gritting through his teeth.

He tries his best to appear calm as Olivia continues explaining. Olivia pauses as she thinks back to the bed. Elliot caresses her hand as he watches her slowly space out, looking at the wall directly in front of her.

"Liv," he whispers as he gently shakes her hand.

Olivia's eyes become glossy as she stares blankly out into nowhere. She feels Elliot shaking her hand and blinks, a tear escaping as she flutters her eyes.

"I…I didn't fight him," she whispers. "I didn't move when he was on me… It didn't matter though… He was still angry with me. He was always angry."

"You did good," Elliot tells her. "You're the strongest person I know."

Olivia nods, but inside she feels weak. She feels anything but strong as she continues speaking.

"Twice," she continues. "He raped me twice… I don't understand why he didn't just kill me."

Her words worry Elliot as he stares into her terrified eyes.

Olivia stares off into space once more as she feels the shag carpet burning her back as Grant is in her, grinding her sensitive skin into the carpet with each thrust. She feels the pain in between her legs and slowly brings them together, closing them.

Elliot wants to embrace her, comfort her and tell her that everything will be okay, but he fears that Olivia may be too jumpy. He's careful as he touches her as to not scare her. He knows that Olivia needs time and he's willing to give her as much time as she needs.

"You're going to get better," he promises her while using his tender touch to tilt her chin up. "You're stronger than you think you are, Liv."

Elliot stands to his feet and offers Olivia his hand.

"You need some sleep. It's nearly 5 am," he tells her.

Elliot guides Olivia into her bedroom. As Olivia starts tugging at her scrubs to change, Elliot turns and begins approaching the door.

"I'll let you get changed," he says.

"No!" Olivia stops him, practically yelling as she speaks. "Elliot, stay."

Olivia doesn't want Grant having control over the intimate parts of her life. She remembers Grant threatening her, demanding that no other man shall see her naked again. Olivia isn't fully comfortable with showing Elliot her injuries, but she strives to gain back control as she stops Elliot from leaving.

"Elliot, don't go," she repeats.

Elliot stops and turns toward her.

"Are you sure?" he asks her.

Olivia nods her head before sitting on the bed. She slowly lifts her scrub shirt over her head, flinching a bit as the shirt rubbed up against her sides and arms. Elliot holds his breath as he stares at Olivia's body. A large, dark bruise covers her side, extending from her lower back to her abs.

She also has bruising on her right shoulder where she collided into the hard tile as Grant threw her to the floor. It takes everything in Elliot not to break down and cry. He walks over to her dresser, opening the middle drawer to pull out a t-shirt.

He walks over to the bed while Olivia is lifting herself to pull her scrub bottoms down her legs. He sits next to her, offering the t-shirt. Elliot looks down at her legs and sees the bruising along her thigh.

"Are you in a lot of pain? Do you need some more ice?" Elliot asks her.

Olivia shakes her head before taking the t-shirt and putting it on. She continues to move around cautiously and Elliot can tell that her body is aching.

"Can I get you a pain pill?" Elliot offers. "I don't want you hurting."

"Sure, Elliot… if it will keep you from worrying," Olivia responds.

Olivia pulls the covers back and lies down, facing the ceiling. Elliot helps her, pulling the covers over her before lightly kissing her forehead.

Olivia tenses as Elliot places his lips on her. Although Elliot is gentle, Olivia can't help but to think of Grant who was also gentle at times when he touched her. She closes her eyes and swallows, fighting back tears as Elliot strokes her cheek.

"You okay?" he asks, whispering.

"Mm-hm," Olivia lies while opening her eyes to stare at him. "I'm sorry…I'm fine."

"Don't apologize for anything, Liv. You've been through so much."

Elliot exits the room and heads to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. The few moments that Elliot is away from her Olivia's eyes dart around her room. Her breathing shallows as she waits for Grant to jump out from some hiding space. She looks over to her window, her imagination causing her to see Grant's reflection in the glass. She closes her eyes, sobbing and anxious for Elliot to return.

Elliot enters the room with a glass of water and a pill bottle.

"This should help," he says as he sets the water on her night stand and hands her a pill.

Elliot sees the nervous sweat on her forehead and can't help but think that he was causing it.

"Liv, do you want me to sleep out on the sofa?" Elliot asks her, his tone soft and gentle.

"No," Olivia answers quickly. "You can't."

Elliot places his hand on her arm and nods his head.

"Okay, okay…It's okay. I'm not going anywhere," he whispers, comforting her.

Elliot is happy that Olivia is comfortable around him, but it tears him up inside that she was terrified of sleeping alone in her own bed.

He removes his shoes before climbing into the bed with her.

"Can I hold you?" he asks, not wanting to frighten her.

"Yes… please," Olivia whispers before Elliot wraps his arms around her.

Olivia feels protected in his arms. She knows no other man can touch her and make her feel at ease the way that Elliot does. He has his arms around her waist similarly to how Grant did, but Olivia doesn't feel restrained or threatened. She relaxes a little, leaning her head back into his chest. However, she can't resist releasing a few tears as she realizes that their intimate life will never be the same.

"It'll take some time," Elliot whispers, reading her thoughts. "Give it time, Liv."

WHAT'D YOU THINK? PLEASE LET ME KNOW! REVIEWWW! THANKS


	15. Chapter 15

**I'VE GOTTEN 100+ REVIEWS SO FAR. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! **_**THIS**_** IS WHY I WRITE EVERYDAY! **

**ALSO…**

**A REVIEW THAT MADE ME LMAO (FOR SOME REASON):**

"_Oh man. I was cringing when I read about the pan...I just burned my arm on the stove the other day...__**I know that shit hurt!"**_

**ALSO…**

**I WILL BE ANSWERING SOME OF YOUR QUESTIONS TONIGHT. I'VE BEEN SLACKING ON THAT. SORRY. :) **

_Olivia feels the bulge in Grant's pants as he brings his rough lips to her ear._

_"Do you feel that?" he whispers as he presses against her._

_Olivia lets out a small, soft cry as she feels his erection on her front side._

_"I can't wait to be inside you, you little whore," Grant whispers as his hot breath invades her ear._

"Olivia…Liv."

She hears someone whispering into her ear. This voice is not harsh, but soft and gentle. It's not threatening, but comforting and kind. Olivia slowly opens her eyes and she sees Elliot lying on the bed next to her, smiling as his hand rests on her shoulder.

"How was your sleep?" Elliot asks her.

Olivia stretches and can feel her muscles resisting her as her entire body still aches from the many abuses she endured from Grant.

"That depends. What time is it?" she asks, yawning.

Elliot lifts his head and stares over Olivia's shoulder at the clock on her night stand.

"It's past noon," he responds.

Olivia releases a heavy sigh and rolls over to her side to face Elliot.

"I can let you sleep a little bit longer if you want," Elliot offers.

"No, that's okay," she says as she begins to sit up.

Elliot sees her wincing as she uses her arms to push herself into the sitting position. He examines her arms and sees bruising every few inches along her skin.

"Careful," he tells her as he sees her struggling.

"I got it," she calmly says while scooting back against the headboard.

Elliot watches as she winces again when her back makes contact with the wooden headboard.

"We need to get you some more medication," Elliot states.

Olivia doesn't argue with him. Her entire body aches even when she is not moving. She wonders how she slept so soundly through the night. Her pain is intense and difficult to ignore.

"Do we need to get you back to the hospital?" Elliot asks in a gentle and concerned tone.

Olivia shakes her head. Even shaking her head is a chore, her neck throbbing as she turns in both directions. Elliot glances down at her neck and sees red swelling where Grant had wrapped his hands around it. He bows his head when he realizes that Olivia never told him that Grant choked her. He guesses that there are many other things that Olivia had not shared with him.

Olivia sees Elliot glancing down at her neck and nervously covers it with her hand.

"I'm hungry," she says, taking the attention away from her neck.

Elliot looks into her eyes and Olivia sees the pain he feels for her.

"What would you like?" Elliot asks her. "Want me to take you out for brunch?"

Elliot looks at Olivia and she seems frightened by his words as her eyes go wide and her mouth slightly cracks open. She stares down into her lap and then back up at Elliot.

"I can't go out there today, Elliot," she whispers. "It's not safe for me."

Olivia's response visibly upsets him. Elliot frowns and realizes that this battle of having Olivia overcome her fear of Grant is far from over.

_If not today then when?_ Elliot thinks to himself.

He knows that if Olivia wasn't comfortable going outside today, then she would be no more comfortable going outside tomorrow or the next day.

"I understand… You need to rest your body anyway," Elliot says even though he knows that resting isn't the real issue.

"Yeah," Olivia responds, whispering. "I'm sore all over."

"What would you like me to make then?" Elliot asks while forcing a smile onto his face.

Truthfully, Olivia isn't hungry. She only mentioned being hungry as a distraction.

"It's up to you," she tells him. "Whatever you're in the mood for."

Elliot stands and begins heading for the kitchen and Olivia stops him, nearly panicking.

"Elliot, wait!" she says, tossing the covers from her legs and removing herself from the bed. "I'm going to put some pants on and I'm coming with you."

Elliot waits by the door as Olivia heads to her dresser. He feels tears gathering in his throat as he sees Olivia desperately searching for a pair of pants. Elliot notices more and more victim related symptoms in Olivia as the hours go by.

He sees that Olivia is not only terrified of stepping back outside, but she is also terrified of being in her own home without him. Even with Elliot in the kitchen and guarding the front door, Olivia doesn't feel comfortable being alone in her bedroom.

She finds a pair of pajama pants and quickly slips them on. She follows Elliot into the kitchen and takes a seat on one of the stools near the countertop. Elliot begins looking through the cabinets.

He shakes his head as he discovers that it is nearly impossible to make a meal for them since Olivia barely has food in her kitchen. He opens the refrigerator and sees a stick of butter along with beer and various condiments. He grabs a cereal box from off the counter.

"Let's see here…We can have cereal… cereal… or cereal! What would you like?" he asks, teasing her.

Olivia fakes a laugh and cracks a smile.

"Cereal's fine with me," she answers, knowing that no matter what Elliot prepares she will not be eating it.

"That's nonsense," Elliot responds. "If you won't let me take you out, then we need to at least order some food for delivery."

Olivia breaks her smile and immediately begins frowning. She thinks back and remembers the last time she opened the door for somebody. She remembers Grant busting through the lock, pushing her onto the floor as the door swung open.

Olivia is sad to admit to herself that she is even fearful of food delivery services coming to her home.

Elliot reads her mind easily and walks over to where she is sitting.

"Olivia, I'm here… You hear me? I'm here," he says, comforting her. "No one's gettin' through that door. _No one_."

Olivia slowly nods her head before glancing over at the door. While looking at the new lock that the department had installed for her, she catches something small and white on the floor from the corner of her eye. She looks down and sees a folded piece of paper near the bottom of the door.

"Elliot," she whispers while gripping her hand hard onto his forearm.

Elliot follows her eyes and looks over at the paper near the door, squinting as he focuses on it. He looks back at Olivia and sees absolute terror on her face as she unintentionally claws into his arm.

"Someone must've slid it under the door," Elliot says, stating the obvious.

Olivia is already aware that someone slid it under the door and she is doubtful that it is anybody else except the man she suspects is out to get her.

"It's okay," Elliot says in a soft tone, attempting to calm her. "We don't know what it is yet. Let me go to the door and check, okay? It's okay, Liv…relax."

Elliot gently removes Olivia's hand from his arm and approaches the door, reaching down to pick up the paper. He unfolds it and after glancing down at the writing on it, he freezes. Olivia's heart stops as she watches Elliot stare down at the paper in his hands.

She immediately begins panicking as she waits for him to speak.

"Elliot… Elliot," she says anxiously. "What? What's it say?"

Elliot notices Olivia panicking and pretends to be unfazed by the writing on the paper.

"It's nothin'," he says, shaking his head. "This is really stupid. It's just…stupid."

Elliot considers telling Olivia that it is a stray paper from the hallway that was accidentally pushed under her door, however, he knows that she is far too smart for that.

"What is it?" Olivia asks with panic still evident in her voice. "Elliot, show me. Bring it here."

"You're not going to believe this," Elliot says while walking toward her. "Whatta joke this guy is!"

Elliot attempts to belittle the writing on the paper, but Olivia's expression remains the same. Knowing that he would eventually have to show her the paper, Elliot hands it to her.

It only takes Olivia a second to read it.

"_11." _

She stares up at Elliot and he sees by the startled expression on her face that his strategy clearly did not work.

"This isn't a joke," she whispers, staring down at the writing. "He's not joking, Elliot. He means this."

Elliot places his hand on hers as she continues to hold the paper.

"I know that, Liv. What I meant was…this isn't a big deal. It's nothing that should scare you. Meyers knows that he can't touch you so he's trying to intimidate you instead," Elliot says. "This is his _only_ way of getting to you and it's just pretty pathetic, ya know? That's what I meant by that…This guy is a joke."

Elliot swallows the lump in his throat and silently prays that Olivia will accept what he is claiming to her. She is already fearful enough without having to worry about Grant sending her threats. Elliot hopes that Olivia will see this as a pathetic attempt to scare her, but he becomes doubtful as he sees the tears gathering in her eyes.

"No," Olivia continues, her voice weak as she talks. "This…this isn't just a threat. It's a warning…It's a promise. Grant was warning me when he gave this number to me in the coffee shop and he is warning me now."

Elliot frowns and remains silent. He doesn't know what to say to comfort her or how to make this situation any less awful.

Olivia's hand begins trembling as she clings onto the paper.

"He wants…he wants me to know that he's not finished with me," she whispers under her breath.

Olivia continues staring down at the paper and Elliot gently takes it from her hand.

"No one had your back the last time, Liv. I'm here for you now. With Meyers on the loose there's no case against me anymore. That coward made certain that I wasn't there when he broke in. He knows that I would kill him before he could lay his hands on you.," Elliot says, attempting to reassure her.

"Elliot, you can't stay here forever. You have your kids... and the only way you'll find Grant is if you go back to work," Olivia reminds him.

_Shit_, Elliot thinks. Every point that he makes to comfort Olivia, she finds another point that further proves that she should fear for her safety.

"I'm not the only one that can protect you. Everyone's looking out for you, Liv. You'll have uniforms parked outside when I'm not here."

The truth is that Elliot doesn't trust anybody but himself to protect Olivia. However, he knows that what Olivia is stating is true; he can't look after her at all hours of the day.

"If Meyers isn't on the run then he's got no chance. Every cop in New York knows who he is now," Elliot tells her. "Meyers would have to be an idiot to try and follow you around the city… and we don't even know if Meyers is the one who slid that under your door. He could have paid some kid to do that. This guy's a coward, Liv."

Olivia visibly relaxes her body and nods her head. What Elliot is now saying actually makes sense to her. Every cop in the city now has Grant's face memorized. Grant had hurt one of their own and every man and woman in blue wants to see him locked up or dead.

Elliot can't help but to smile a little as he sees calmness replacing the fear that was on her face.

"You're right, Elliot," Olivia whispers to him. "God, I hope you're right."

Elliot wraps his arms around Olivia and embraces her.

"Please, stop worrying, babe. I can't even imagine what you went through…but it's not going to happen again," he says, brushing the hair off her face with his hand.

Olivia leans her head against him.

"I want to believe that, I really do. I'm trying…I'm just scared," she says, speaking softly into his chest.

"I know…and I don't blame you, Liv. Nobody would," Elliot tells her. "Just remember that Grant's resources are gone. He's got no car, no phone…he's probably got no cash on him either. If he is still planning something, then he's having a damn hard time doing it."

Olivia is tempted to disagree, but she doesn't want to stress Elliot out any further. He is now calm and somewhat at peace with Olivia not constantly worrying about her safety. However, Olivia knows that Grant has ways of getting those resources. If Grant is coldhearted enough to abuse, rape and kill women, then Olivia can definitely imagine him stealing a car, cash and even invading a home to temporarily live in. She does not underestimate him.

"You're right," she repeats to Elliot.

Elliot smiles and pulls himself back before placing a kiss on her forehead.

"You're so strong," he whispers to her.

He pulls out his cell phone and stares down at Olivia.

"What do ya say...can we take this first step and order us some food? Are you comfortable with doing that?" Elliot asks, lightly placing his hand on Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia inhales deeply before nodding her head.

"Yeah…sorry. I don't know why I freaked out about that before," she answers while putting on another fake smile.

"Because you're human," Elliot kindly tells her while grabbing the phonebook.

As he flips through the pages, Olivia focuses her attention back on the door. She believes Elliot and knows how difficult it would be for Grant to succeed again in hurting her. However, during the several hours she spent with Grant, he managed to instill in her a type of fear that Olivia had never known before.

**PLEASE REVIEW! THANKS! DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE…. MORE SUSPENSE AND BUMPINESS AHEAD! :o**


	16. Chapter 16

**LMAO comment of the day:**

"_**Too comfortable? Are you kidding me? I didn't get ANY comfort! I want to be a cop in your story and catch Grant with my own hands!" -**_Little Kakau

**ALSO…**

**Question: **_**"Where are you getting your inspiration from? Not that Sealview prison episode, I'm guessing..." -**_OhSusannah63

**Answer: Although Undercover is one of my all time favorite episodes, no, that's not where my inspiration comes from. As you can already tell, I love LOVE love ANGST… also, even though I don't share this too often (because no situations hardly come up where I feel I need to), I've never really hidden the fact that I myself am a survivor… So put my love for angst and my own personal story together and you get this wonderful shit! Don't get me wrong though… this story isn't the same as my own. It's completely fiction. But I won't lie and say that I don't write from my personal feelings when I'm trying to capture Olivia's emotions accurately… because I do! **

**THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR COMMENTS/QUESTIONS! I'M KISSING YOU ALL THROUGH MY COMPUTER SCREEN RIGHT NOW. (DON'T BE CREEPED OUT BY THAT)**

**Location: Olivia Benson's Apartment**

"Do you feel like you're ready?" Elliot asks, grabbing his watch off the night stand and slipping it onto his wrist.

"Yeah, El. I'll be fine. You can't babysit me forever, I guess," Olivia answers, sighing.

Olivia sits on her bed, watching Elliot as he gets dressed. Elliot tucks his shirt into his pants before walking over to Olivia and sitting beside her on the edge of the bed.

"If you need anything… anything at all, call me and I'll be right back here," Elliot tells her.

Olivia nods her head while staring into Elliot's eyes.

"Officer Russo will be up to check on you a quarter after at every hour. Please don't frighten the poor guy by ignoring his knocks at the door," Elliot jokes, smiling at her. "It may get annoying answering the door that often, but we all just want to make sure that you are safe."

"I know," Olivia softly says while nodding her head again. "Thank you, Elliot."

Elliot leans forward and places a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"You're so-"

Elliot gets cut off by Olivia before he could finish his sentence.

"I know, I'm so 'strong'," Olivia says, rolling her eyes slightly.

She knows that Elliot is only trying to encourage her, but she is tired of hearing about how strong she is because inside she feels the complete opposite. Elliot frowns at her and Olivia immediately apologizes.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I know you think that, but…I just feel so weak," Olivia whispers to him.

Elliot places his hand on her thigh and nods.

"I know, Liv… I understand."

Elliot lightly pats her leg before standing to his feet.

"Fin will be by to check on you, as well. He wants to bring your lunch by," Elliot says. "I know you haven't had much of an appetite lately, but please try eating today. I want you healthy."

"Yeah…okay," Olivia lies while shrugging.

It has been five days since Grant Meyers captured and raped her, but Olivia's appetite is practically nonexistent. Elliot can tell that Olivia isn't being truthful with him.

"You need to eat, Liv. Do I have to order Fin to stay with you while he watches you eat?" Elliot asks, half joking with her.

"I'll try, Elliot," Olivia promises him.

Elliot grabs his jacket off the chair and glances over at Olivia. He notices her becoming more nervous, the more layers of clothing he puts on. This is the first time that Elliot is leaving her alone and the fear is evident on her face.

"You'll be fine," Elliot says in a gentle tone. "You're no less safe with Officer Russo than you would be with me. He's an excellent cop. And unlike me, he has years of experience solely with protecting people."

Olivia slowly shakes her head and stares down at her shaky hands.

"I just don't understand any of this…why me? What have I done that is so wrong to deserve this?" she whispers.

"Absolutely nothing," Elliot answers while walking over to her. "You're a good person and you don't deserve _any_ of this… Are you sure you don't want Officer Russo to stay up here with you? I know he'd be happy to."

Olivia shakes her head. Although she had met Officer Russo a few times in the past, she still considers him a stranger. Olivia knows that she won't be comfortable with another man hanging in her apartment. She wishes Elliot, Fin, Munch or Cragen could be with her at all times, but she knows that's not possible. The men she trusts the most are working most hours to find the man that hurt her.

Olivia follows Elliot to the door and locks it after he exits her apartment. She sighs and heads over to the sofa, sitting on the end furthest from the door. The room is completely silent as Olivia sits on the sofa and stares at the blank television screen.

She looks down at her hands and after seeing the burn on her right palm, she flashes back to the kitchen.

_"God… Grant stop," Olivia softly cries in a shaky voice._

_"You don't want to mind me, huh?" Grant yells as he reaches for a lower cabinet and opens it. "You're going to learn to do as I say."_

_Grant reaches into the cabinet and pulls out a frying pan. He lifts it up over his head and Olivia tenses._

_"Say it… say you want me," Grant says, threatening her._

_Grant reaches across the stove and turns one of the knobs. Olivia sees him reaching and panics. He takes the pan and sets it down onto one of the stove eyes. Olivia tries crawling away but Grant cuts in front of her, blocking her from exiting the kitchen._

_"Grant, don't do this," Olivia pleads. "I'll listen…You can have me," she cries._

Tears gather in Olivia's eyes as she continues to flash back, hearing Grant's voice as she stares blankly into the black screen.

_"What do you think? Do you think it's hot enough yet?"_

_Olivia's heart drops into her stomach as she realizes that there is no escaping from this kitchen._

_"You're right," Grant says, shrugging. "We'll give it a few more seconds… We'll wait 'till its hot n' ready!"_

_"Nooo," she cries softly while looking up and watching Grant grab the handle to the pan._

_She glues herself to the floor, moving as far away from the scorching hot pan as she could. Grant hovers the pan directly over her._

_"You ready?" he teases to torture her._

_"Grant, I'm…I'm sorry… don't," Olivia whispers as she sees the pan approaching her._

_Grant lowers the pan and Olivia extends her hands out to protect herself. She burns her right palm on it as she tries to push it away. _

Olivia hears a knock at the door and jumps, snapping her away from her flashback.

"It's Officer Russo. I'm just performing my first check of the day," Russo yells from the other side of the door.

Olivia pushes herself off the sofa and walks over to the door, unlocking and opening it. The officer sees the tears on her cheeks and peaks in, performing a quick scan around her apartment.

"Is everything okay in here, Olivia?" he asks in a concerned tone.

Olivia feels the wetness on her cheeks and reaches her hand up to wipe her face.

"Yeah…sorry. This is so embarrassing. I didn't realize that I was crying," she answers.

"No need to feel sorry or embarrassed, detective," Russo responds. "We all understand what you've been through. It's just going to take some time to get better."

Olivia nods her head, smiling a little. This officer reminds her of Elliot. He has the same body build as Elliot and the same sympathetic tone when he speaks.

"Well, I don't want to be too much of a bother. I'm going to head back down to the car now. I'll be outside. If you need anything, call me and I'll be up before you even have the chance to hang up the phone," Russo says smiling.

"Thank you," Olivia says before closing the door and locking it.

Before she returns to the sofa her home phone begins ringing. She walks over to the table near the sofa and reads the caller ID. The number is unlisted and she debates in her head whether or not to answer it. After deciding that she would be in no greater danger by answering it, she slowly picks up the phone and speaks into it.

"Hello," she says softly while waiting for the person on the other end to speak.

There is a short pause before she hears a voice.

"_If you think you've seen the last of me, think again."_

She immediately recognizes Grant's voice and her heart stops. She grips onto the phone hard and remains silent.

"_When I said that you were mine, I meant it,"_ Grant says, his voice deep and raspy.

Olivia quickly regrets answering the phone and tears begin pooling in her eyes again. She says nothing as Grant continues to speak.

"_I loved every moment with you…the sex…the beatings," _Grant whispers. _"I haven't been able to sleep. I've been too excited about making you mine again. What about you? Have you been sleeping well, Olivia?"_

Olivia swallows hard before speaking. The hairs on the nape of her neck stand straight up and she begins feeling as if she is back at the house with Grant, powerless and under his authority.

"What do you want, Grant?" she speaks timidly. "Haven't you done enough?"

Grant harshly laughs into the phone.

"_Hardly," _he answers. _"You ran away like some scared cunt before I had the opportunity to do anything with you."_

Grant's voice makes Olivia's stomach turn. She wants to hang up the phone, but she knows that she needs to get as much information out of him as she can. While still holding onto the phone she grabs her cell and speed dials Elliot's number.

"You were the one that ran off, remember?" Olivia retaliates before pressing the mute button.

She holds her cell phone to her other ear and hears a busy signal.

_Shit_, she thinks while pressing the end button. After receiving no response from Elliot she begins dialing Cragen.

"_Oh, I can see that you've got quite the smart mouth now. You get a little freedom and now you think you can talk to me any 'ol way,"_ Grant responds._ "You weren't saying anything when I was inside you, now were you? Sure, you begged a little… but nothing like this. You're becoming quite brave, aren't you?"_

"_Cragen,"_ the Captain answers.

"Don, M- Meyers called me. He's on the phone right now," Olivia says quickly, her breathing labored as she speaks. "Can we get a trace on this?"

Cragen doesn't waste time asking questions or trying to calm her.

"_I'm on it! Keep him on the phone for as long as you can, Olivia. I'll get in contact with the tech crew. I know it's hard, but try to keep him talking,"_ Cragen responds.

Olivia takes the phone off mute and Grant hears her breathing hard into the phone.

"_Are you just returning from a morning jog?"_ Grant asks while cruelly laughing into the phone. _"You sound terrible… you must be scared shitless."_

Olivia concentrates on her breathing, closing her eyes while attempting to relax.

"Where are you?" she whispers into the phone.

"_I'm glad you asked,"_ Grant responds. _"I'm over some whore's house. Yesterday I rang her doorbell and asked if I could room here for a while…And guess what? She denied me. Can you believe that? I know I'm a stranger to her and all, but she was just plain rude… After fucking her on the kitchen floor, I cut her deep. She's dead… so many people are dead because of you."_

Olivia lets out a painful gasp and allows her tears to fall.

"Grant, I'm the one you want… Why hurt and kill other people?" Olivia softly cries.

"_Until I can have you again I won't stop…I need something to fill that void,"_ Grant says. _"Don't worry though… none of these women are as good as you. You were the best, Olivia. That's why I can't stop until I make you mine again. I will not stop."_

"Please…" Olivia whispers. "Stop hurting people. Killing other women isn't going to make you feel any better, Grant."

Grant ignores her response and continues speaking.

"_I'm not done with you…I didn't accomplish what I wanted to. I wanted you begging for me to be inside you. That never happened,"_ Grant says. _"And I'm not a slacker. I'm not a loser like your pathetic, weak-willed partner. I always finish what I started, Olivia. Always."_

Olivia doesn't speak. She tries to keep the phone to her ear as her hand violently shakes.

"_Well, I'm no dummy. I think we should end our little conversation right here. I know you're trying to trace this and I don't want any of your buddies in blue paying me a visit. Plus, it's time for me to move on. I'm getting bored here and I need a new place to stay,"_ Grant says, nearly whispering as he speaks.

Olivia panics and begins quickly speaking to Grant.

"Grant, let me meet you somewhere. Let's not drag this out. Give me a place and we can meet," Olivia says, desperate to keep the conversation going.

_CLICK!_

The line goes dead and Olivia slowly lowers the phone. She brings her cell phone back up to her ear and speaks into it.

"He's gone," she whispers to Cragen.

"It's okay, Olivia. You did your best," Cragen kindly tells her. "Stay calm…I'm sending the team over right now."

Olivia doesn't even bother to say goodbye as she presses the end button and drops her phone to the floor. She begins crying hysterically, her entire body quivering as she lowers herself onto the floor. While sitting she places her hands on her face and screams out in frustration. The intensity of her sobbing disturbs her breathing. She lies down on the floor, crying out as her head rests on the cold hardwood floor.

**I KNOW, I KNOW…I'M EVIL, I MAKE OLIVIA MISERABLE AND BLAHDY BLAH BLAH. LOL! IT GET'S EVEN ANGSTIER AND MORE HEART PUMPING-FUL AFTER THIS SO PREPARE YOURSELVES. I'LL TRY TO START THE NEXT CHAPTER AS SOON AS I CAN… **_**REVIEWS**_** WILL **_**NOT **_**HINDER THAT PROCESS… SO REVIEW AWAY! THAT IS ALL…**


	17. Chapter 17

**THE SUSPENSE CONTINUES… ENJOOOOY!**

**Location: Olivia Benson's Apartment**

Cragen approaches Olivia as she sits next to Elliot on the sofa.

"The number belongs to a Jennifer Shapiro," Cragen says. "Morales matched the number to her address and we have uniforms making their way over there now."

He looks over at Olivia who seems unmoved by the news.

"It doesn't matter," Olivia responds. "Grant is long gone from there. He's probably made his way into another innocent woman's home by now."

"At least we know that now," Elliot interjects. "Had you not answered the phone, we would have never known what Meyers was up to. You were smart, Olivia…and it took a lot of courage to do what you did. We're that much closer to finding him now that we know part of his game plan."

Cragen nods his head in agreement with Elliot and makes his way back over to Fin, Munch and Officer Russo who are having a discussion in the corner of the room. Elliot glances over at Olivia as she slowly shakes her head.

"I just wish he'd come get me and be done with it already," Olivia whispers.

Elliot's jaw drops in disbelief before he reaches his hand up and gently turns Olivia's face toward him.

"Liv…what are you saying?" Elliot asks, whispering to her.

Olivia stares into his eyes before dropping her head and looking down.

"Elliot, women are going to keep getting raped and killed until Grant gets what he wants," she says softly as she begins sobbing. "I…I can't do this anymore."

"Don't say that," Elliot whispers. "We're so close, Liv… don't give up on me now."

Olivia doesn't respond as she continues to stare down at the floor.

"So what's the plan?" Fin asks while looking at Olivia and then back over to Cragen.

"We need to move her," Cragen answers. "Meyers is too comfortable with her here. He's getting bold. We'll relocate her…put her into a hotel until Meyers is in custody."

Olivia dazes out, staring to the floor while the men continue discussing her arrangements.

"We need a follower," Elliot interjects while standing. "…someone who can tag behind us to make sure that Meyers isn't on our tail."

Cragen nods his head, signaling his okay.

"Let's move, people. Make the necessary calls quickly."

**Location: Olivia's hotel room**

Elliot looks down at Olivia's crossed arms and sees goose bumps emerging along her skin.

"Are you cold, Liv?" he asks while taking his suit jacket off and placing it over her shoulders.

"Thanks," she responds quietly.

She walks over to the window and takes a quick peek out the blinds before walking to the door to look through the peephole.

"He's not here, Olivia," Elliot responds, noticing her edginess as she nervously walks around the room.

She tightens Elliot's jacket around her and sits on the bed. Elliot continues speaking in attempt to ease her.

"We made sure that no one was tailing us… stop worrying yourself," Elliot says in a gentle tone. "You can relax here. That's why we brought you here."

Olivia unconvincingly nods her head. Elliot stares at her and frowns when he notices that Olivia is no more comfortable here than she is in her apartment.

They suddenly hear a door shutting and Olivia flinches.

"It's okay, it's okay," Elliot whispers to her. "It's just the guests from next door…okay? You're safe here."

Olivia deeply inhales before exhaling and relaxing her tensed up chest.

"Grant is smart, Elliot," Olivia says in a soft tone. "I'm trying… but it's hard staying calm here."

Elliot sits down next to her and grabs onto her shaky hands.

"How would he know you're here?" Elliot asks her, practically whispering as he speaks.

Olivia shrugs before gripping onto Elliot's warm hands. She feels safer holding on to him and her shaking gradually slows.

"No one tailed us… and your name isn't registered in this hotel. None of our names are. We took care of everything, Liv. I know it's hard, but try not to worry so much," Elliot says, reassuring her.

"I don't know_ how_ Grant would know I'm here…I just feel like he'll find a way. He's too obsessed to just give up," Olivia responds.

Elliot gently rubs her hands and stares into her eyes.

"But I'm more obsessed. I'm more obsessed about finding him than he is about finding you. Trust me, Olivia," Elliot tells her.

"Okay," Olivia whispers, nodding. "God, I want him to be caught so bad…I want him dead."

"I know what you're feeling…But you can't let this animal control your life. He's sending you threats and phone calls because he can't have control over you physically… Don't let him control your emotions. He's not worth it," Elliot says, counseling her.

"I just wanna go to bed," Olivia responds, disregarding his remarks.

She knows that Elliot is speaking the truth, but she struggles with trying to take her mind and emotions back from Grant. She pulls the covers back and climbs under them before lying on her back. She shifts her body slightly when she feels pain as her bruised shoulder makes contact with the mattress. Elliot can tell that her mind is still racing as he watches her stare up at the ceiling.

Olivia believes that Grant is unaware of her location, however, she finds it difficult removing some of Grant's last words to her from her thoughts. She hears his sadistic whispers as she continues to stare up at the white ceiling above her.

"_You were the best, Olivia. That's why I can't stop until I make you mine again. __**I will not stop**__."_

Elliot sees her breathing speed up and he begins talking to distract her.

"I can't wait for you to get better and return to work…because Fin and Munch make lousy partners. I can't work with them. I don't know how the hell those two goofballs deal with each other on a daily basis," he jokes while lying down next to her.

Olivia turns her head toward him and releases a small laugh. She rolls to her side to face him before speaking.

"Please keep talking," she tells him.

She realizes that Elliot is trying to distract her and she relaxes after hearing him speak.

"This helps," she admits while scooting a bit closer to him.

Elliot smiles and grabs onto her hand before continuing.

"Did I tell you about the time when Fin played a 'big brother' joke on Munch?" Elliot asks her while playing with her fingers.

Olivia shakes her head and cracks a smile.

"While Munch was on break, Fin put mini webcams on their computers monitors. When Munch returned and asked where they came from Fin just shrugged and said that some men in dark suits came by and installed 'em," Elliot says, chuckling.

Olivia smiles slightly again before she begins slowly closing her eyes. She has heard this story before, but Elliot's voice soothes her. She decides to take advantage of it and attempts to fall asleep. Elliot continues speaking as Olivia rests.

"Wow, I can't believe I never told you that story before…Yeah, Munch went straight to the captain and exploded on him. He stormed into Cragen's office, yelling about his privacy and ranting about government conspiracies. I wish you were there. It was something to laugh about."

"Mm-hm," Olivia mutters while her eyes remain shut.

Elliot continues talking and sharing his lighthearted stories until he sees Olivia's chest calmly rise and fall as she heads into a peaceful sleep.

_**2 days later**_

Olivia surfs through the television channels while sitting on the bed, near the headboard. She has no intention of finding anything to actually watch, but she feels as if she is slowly becoming insane from being alone in a dead silent hotel room.

She is finally comfortable enough to stay in the room without Elliot being there, however, she is quickly becoming bored without him around. The couple days she spends at the hotel consists of showering, watching television and eating if she felt up to it.

She's relieved when she hears Elliot sticking the key card into the slot outside her door. She presses the red button on the remote, turning off the television. A smile appears on her face as she turns toward the door.

Her heart drops a level when she turns to see a gun aimed directly at her. Her smile quickly vanishes and her mouth opens when she realizes that it's not Elliot at the door, but the man who she now only sees in her nightmares.

"Grant," she whispers, releasing a heavy breath as she says his name.

She freezes, clinging onto the covers beneath her as she keeps her eyes on him. Grant's face is a mixture of fury and excitement as he gazes at her. Olivia turns her head slightly to the small dresser by the bed and sees her gun resting on it.

"Go 'head," Grant speaks, his voice deep and sadistic as he cocks his head toward the gun on the dresser. "I already have the urge to kill you so going for that gun would only make that process faster...easier."

Olivia opens her mouth wider, but no words come out. She remains sitting and she claws her fingernails into the covers, her eyes wide and glossy as she continues to stare at Grant.

"You scared, babe?" Grant asks her while keeping his gun aimed at her. "You should be."

Olivia gives no verbal response. She pushes her hands into the mattress and begins slowly scooting toward the edge of the bed that was furthest from the door. She crawls off the bed while keeping her focus on Grant and begins walking backwards. She only moves a couple of feet before she stops, the wall behind her preventing her from going any further. There is little room from the bed to the wall, a three foot wide aisle existing between them.

Olivia hears one of Grant's devilish chuckles before she looks down at the bed and sees a circle of liquid where she had been sitting.

"You pissed your pants, you're so scared," Grant says as he continues his deep toned chuckling. "Nice goin'."

Olivia's hands shake as she looks down at her sweat pants and sees that the seat of her pants are partially wet. She looks back up at Grant, leaning her back against the wall behind her.

"Say something," Grant orders as he takes a few steps in her direction.

Olivia uses the wall to keep her balance as she begins to feel faintish and weak.

"Don't just stand there... Say something," Grant repeats.

Grant wants to hear the fear and the shock in her voice that his presence causes. He waits while he continues gazing at her. Words finally escape Olivia's mouth as she remains against the wall.

"How did you get in here?" she says in a shaky voice. "How did you find me?"

Grant smiles and lowers his gun when he realizes that she is no longer in reach of hers.

"Your partner gave me the key card," Grant responds.

Olivia doesn't speak for a moment as she takes in Grant's response.

"He wouldn't do that," Olivia says in a soft tone.

Grant nods his head and takes more steps.

"Yeah, you're right. Besides…it's kinda hard to choose not to hand the card over to me when you have a bullet or two in ya," Grant tells her.

Olivia's eyes go wide and she begins taking shallow breaths as she speaks.

"You… you killed him?" she whispers while hot tears fall down her cheeks.

Grant shrugs his shoulders and stops at the opposite edge of the bed.

"I had to," Grant says apathetically. "He wouldn't give me the damn card."

Olivia grabs onto her chest as she listens to him. Olivia begins feeling as if she is close to a heart attack as she continues hearing his voice.

"I waited outside your fucking apartment all day. I figured your partner would eventually return there to gather more of your things…since you're so fucking needy. I prayed that you were hiding in some hotel…the key card gave you away," Grant says, holding up the card with the hotel name on it.

"Your love, Elliot is lying on your floor as we speak," Grant says.

Olivia shakes her head and allows more tears to slide down her face.

"No…no," she softly cries. "I don't believe you… that's not true."

"It's very true," Grant responds. "I thought you'd be thankful. I did this for us. I did this because he would have only gotten in the way. He's the jealous type. That's the only reason why he was searching for me, Olivia…because he's jealous of what we had."

Olivia brings her arm to her eyes, wiping away tears using her sweatshirt as she softly weeps.

"No," she cries, her body trembling as she stands. "No… you didn't kill him. He's not dead."

"It didn't have to happen this way," Grant says as he begins approaching her. "All you had to do was LISTEN! That's all you had to do. Now people are suffering because you fucked up."

Olivia shakes her head and extends her hands in front of her as Grant gets closer.

"What do you want from me?" she cries as she bows her head. "I've given you everything. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"You've given me nothing," Grant responds. "How dare you say that you've given my anything!"

Olivia presses her back into the wall and tenses as Grant stops in front of her.

"Did…did you really kill him, Grant? Please say that you didn't do that. Please…God, Elliot" she whispers, looking down at the floor.

"Enough about Elliot!" Grant orders. "We're done talking about him. It's time to talk about _us_…it's time to talk about why you left me… and about what I should do to punish you for it."

Olivia brings her head up, swallowing hard while staring into his eyes.

"I didn't leave you," she says softly. "You left… none of that was my fault."

Grant shakes his head and reaches his hand out, pressing it into the wall to cage her in.

"You didn't come looking for me. You left me, Olivia. You hid in your apartment like some hermit. You didn't even care if I was okay or not," Grant tells her.

Olivia looks into his eyes and sees the insanity in Grant. She waits, not knowing how to respond to a person who is crazy enough to criticize their victim for not visiting them afterward.

"I didn't come looking because you hurt me," Olivia whispers. "I'm sick of being hurt by you."

Grant smiles and brings his left hand up to stroke her cheek. He takes his thumb and rubs under her eye to wipe some of the tears away.

"You're right. I should have never hurt you," Grant whispers. "You made me angry, Olivia, but from here on out I promise to be nothing but gentle."

Olivia releases a small whimper as Grant brings his lips to her forehead.

"I'm never going to hurt you again," he whispers into her ear.

Olivia begins crying harder as he rubs his thumb along her full lips.

"Shhhh, it's okay," he whispers. "We're going to make this work."

"Grant, not again," Olivia softly cries. "Please…I've given you so much already."

Grant smiles again and slowly strokes her cheek with his knuckles.

"I want more of you," he responds. "I want all of you… I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Grant's last few words make Olivia sick to her stomach. Olivia uses her hands to roughly push into his chest before attempting to duck under his arm. Grant grabs her wrists, handling her rough yet gentle as he restrains her. He places her hands by her sides while using his upper body to pin her to the wall.

"You can fight it, but that will only make it worse for you," he tells her. "All I want to do is love you, Olivia."

Olivia pulls on her wrists in frustration, attempting to free herself from his grasp.

"Let me go," she cries. "This isn't love, Grant. Beating and raping someone is _not_ love…please, let me go!"

Grant keeps his grip tight around her wrists as Olivia continues to struggle with him.

"Give me another chance," Grant whispers, bringing his lips to her ear. "Let me show you that I can love you the right way."

Olivia sobs hard as she feels her burned arm roughly rubbing up against the wall.

"You're crazy," Olivia says under her breath while wincing in pain.

Grant increases his pressure on her wrists and Olivia's struggling ceases. She looks into his eyes and sees the same fury return that he had when he first walked through the door.

"I'm not crazy," Grant responds. "But I'll show you crazy if that's what you want."

**REVIEW FOR MORE! THANKS!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys. I know I usually update every week day, but I was working on a video and I have been occupied at work, which is where I do the majority of my writing. Don't worry… this story IS getting finished! Some of you messaged me and thought I wasn't going to continue! What? It's only been a few days! LOL! I think you guys are just so used to my quick/daily updates that when I update in the same normal pace as everyone else, you freak out. LOL! That's okay though… I love that you enjoy this story that much to bug me about it. I'm not complaining! Hee! **

**LMAO comments of the day: **

"**DON"T KILL ELLIOT! ME **_**LOVES**_** ELLIOT, NO KILLING HIM!" - ****LilPinkKitsune**

"**I just read this whole thing in one sitting. My poor Liv! Grant makes me want to fill up a swimming pool with Hydrochloric Acid and drop him in it. Amen." -****SoGrey**

Olivia sees Grant's lips moving, but his words are nothing but mumbles to her as she spaces out. While Grant is speaking she only thinks of Elliot.

_How could I let this happen?_ _How could I let Grant kill the only person who has ever truly loved and cared for me?_

She slowly blinks her eyelids as she begins to realize that her life is now meaningless. She convinces herself that if Elliot is dead, then there is nothing left to fight for. Grant had already violated her body; she lost that battle. Twice. Olivia has been trying her best to heal for Elliot, but with Elliot now gone, who does she need to be strong for?

She flinches after Grant snaps his fingers in front of her face.

"Are you listening to me, Olivia?" Grant asks as he continues to stand in front of her.

"Yes," Olivia responds.

Truthfully, she has no idea what Grant is telling her. She assumes that he is just threatening her, but she doesn't care. In her mind, whatever physical torture or pain that Grant inflicts on her body will be nothing compared to the torture she is experiencing inside.

"Good," Grant tells her. "Then go to the dresser and find some clean pants to wear…and try not to wet yourself again. You're not a fucking child."

Without any hesitation, Olivia walks over to the dresser and opens the middle drawer, pulling out a new pair of sweatpants and slipping them on. Grant looks at her in shock as she complies with him.

"Someone's behaving well," Grant remarks. "Let's hope it remains that way."

Olivia stares up at him and waits for his next orders to her. She feels as if she is outside of her own body, looking down at herself. She's numb to the situation, no longer caring where Grant takes her or what he plans on doing with her. To Olivia, nothing will compare to the hurt she is feeling for Elliot. By killing Elliot, Grant took her entire world away from her. Olivia no longer sees the point of fighting for survival or remaining strong while looking forward to future happiness.

"A good samaritan loaned me her car. We're gonna head down to the car before your little friends show up. You're not going to say a _single _word on our way down there, do you hear me?" Grant orders her.

Olivia nods her head and takes his hand as he holds it out to her.

Grant's eyes widen as she takes his hand. He begins to wonder why Olivia is being so cooperative.

"I don't trust you," he whispers to her in a harsh tone. "I don't know what you're up to, but I'm not buying this submissive, obedient shit. Don't try anything funny when we get in the lobby."

Olivia nods her head again and Grant takes the lead as they exit the hotel room.

They enter the lobby and female worker at the front desk greets them cheerfully as they walk by.

"Have a wonderful evening," she says, smiling.

Olivia doesn't look up at her. She continues walking, hand in hand with Grant, staring blankly in front of her as he leads her out the sliding doors.

_**Location: Unknown**_

"Great place, ain't it?" Grant says, removing his jacket.

Olivia looks around and immediately concludes that Grant had invaded another person's home. It is a small, one story house with old fashioned décor inside. She looks around and sees a cane on the floor, near the sofa. She realizes from the cane, the distinct stench and the house decorations that an older woman must own it.

"I got this just for us," Grant says, smiling. "Granny wasn't going to be around for too much longer anyway so I knew she wouldn't mind."

Olivia scans the house for a bit longer before staring at Grant.

"You killed her?" she asks, whispering to him.

Grant shakes his head and reaches down to take off his shoes.

"Let's not waste time with small talk… I think you already know the answer to that question anyway."

Olivia bows her head and feels her heart ache a bit more as she realizes that Grant had killed yet another person.

"It's perfect," Grant says. "We don't have to worry about others disturbing us. Look around. There are no pictures of grandchildren or practically anybody else. It's obvious that this lady was a loner. No one's going to notice a thing."

Olivia doesn't bother crying for the woman or arguing with Grant. She begins to notice that Grant's kills are affecting her less and less.

"You don't know how excited I am for us," Grant tells her. "I'm a changed man, Olivia. I don't want to kill you. You're special and much different from the other women. There's just something about you…"

Olivia doesn't respond, staring blankly into his eyes as he speaks. Grant approaches her, leaning forward to softly kiss her on the lips. Olivia closes her eyes, but remains where she is.

"Say that you love me," Grant whispers to her as he places both hands on her shoulders and stares down at her.

"I love you," Olivia responds with no emotion in her voice.

Grant grins and gently massages her shoulders with both hands.

"You misbehaved before, but I forgive you. I know that you didn't mean any of it, did you?" he asks, looking into her eyes.

"No, I didn't mean it," Olivia whispers. "I'm… sorry."

Grant wraps his arms around Olivia and embraces her.

"I know you are," he whispers after kissing the top of her head. "C'mon… let's go get comfortable."

Olivia takes his hand once again as Grant leads her down the small hallway and into a bedroom. Olivia looks around and notices that this room doesn't look much different from the room in Roy's house. It has floral décor, though the room is much cleaner than Roy's.

Olivia tenses as she feels Grant tugging at her sweatpants.

"Let's get in the bed," he whispers, slightly cocking his head.

Olivia remains still, fluttering her eyelids as she begins to realize what her new reality is. She knows that Grant wants sex, but she can't find the strength to resist or fight back. Grant gently sweeps his arms under the back of her knees and lifts her up, carrying her to the bed. He slowly lays her down as Olivia swallows and closes her eyes.

"It won't be like the last time," he promises her. "It will be much gentler. You're going to enjoy this."

Olivia doesn't respond as she keeps her eyelids closed, tensing as she feels the bed dip from him climbing onto it. She releases a surprised gasp as she feels his cold hands on her abs, tucking his fingers underneath her sweatshirt and lifting her torso to pull it over her head.

"I've never felt love like this," Grant says, leaning down and whispering into her ear. "Never."

He sees her olive skin and brings his hand down to her breast. Olivia squeezes her eyes shut as hard as she can as she feels his ice-like hand cupping her breast. Her bottom lip begins to tremble as she feels him tuck his fingers in the waist of her sweatpants, easily pulling them down her thighs and past her ankles.

Grant leans over Olivia while straddling her and softly caresses her cheek.

"Look at me, Olivia," he says. "I want to see your eyes."

Olivia concentrates on opening them and slowly relaxes her eye lids to open them. She stares up at him, her eyes watery.

"It's okay," Grant says in attempt to soothe her. "The more we do this, the more comfortable you'll become with me. Everybody's first few times are like this. It's normal."

Grant leans back and unfastens his belt before unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. Olivia doesn't watch as he takes her hand and places it around his erect penis.

"This is what you do to me," he whispers.

Olivia swallows hard again and blinks, releasing a few tears from her eyes. She knows that this will be painful, but her fight completely leaves her as Grant continues to violate her body. He brings his lips down and takes in a mouthful of her right breast.

"You taste so wonderful," he tells her as he licks her nipple and brings his head back up, staring into her wet brown eyes.

"Do you know how beautiful you are, Olivia?" he asks, not breaking eye contact. "Do you?"

Olivia stares into his eyes, but doesn't respond.

"You think too little of yourself," Grant tells her. "You're absolutely magnificent."

Grant smiles, lying down more and positing himself over Olivia. She feels him slowly enter her and bites back her screams as he moves inside her, nearly filling her up. Grant grabs her wrists with both of his hands and lifts them above her head. Even though Olivia is yet to struggle, Grant has adapted to enforcing his domination and commanding control.

He moans as he continues to slowly move inside her.

"Olivia, I want to hear you say my name," he says in between moans.

Olivia knows that his movement will only get rougher if she remains silent so she quickly speaks.

"Grant," she says in a soft cry. "Grant."

"Say it again and tell me that you love me," he whispers.

"Grant…. I love you," she sobs, wishing for the burning in between her legs to stop.

Grant pins her wrists harder as he approaches his climax. After he begins to release himself inside her, he lets go of her wrists and wraps his arms around her lower body, gripping his hands around her bare ass. He presses her body into his, their bodies moving in unison with each of Grant's final thrusts.

He lets out a deep moan and collapses on top of her, breathing hard.

"You were great," he says in between pants.

He rolls off of her, onto his back while lying beside her. Olivia closes her legs and rolls onto her side, slightly curling up as she faces in the opposite direction of Grant.

Minutes go by as they lie beside each other in complete silence.

"Grant," Olivia whispers to him.

Grant leans up and looks over her shoulder.

"What is it?" he asks in a concerned tone.

Olivia pauses for a moment before speaking.

"You- You're gonna... I'm gonna get pregnant if we keep doing this. I just can't," she whispers. "You didn't bring any of my pills with us… and you're not using anything either. I'm scared…that can't happen. I can't get pregnant."

Grant reaches his hand over to her upper arm, massaging it.

"Would that be so bad? Would it be so terrible to have a child by me?" he asks.

Olivia closes her eyes and doesn't respond. She no longer has the will to fight for herself, but she knows that she will kill herself before she let Grant bring a child into this world with her.

Grant takes Olivia's silence as a 'no' before kissing her shoulder and lying back down.

"This is our life now," he says while staring up at the ceiling. "You don't know this yet… but you're not going to want to leave once you find out truly how I am."

_**5 days later**_

_**Location: Mercy Hospital **_

He opens his eyes to see a blurry image of a man sitting in the chair beside him. His eyes adjust to the hospital room lights and he sees Cragen sitting with a newspaper in his hands.

"Woah, take it easy," Cragen insists as Elliot sits up in his hospital bed.

Elliot looks down and sees IV cords extending from his arm.

"Wha-…What happened?" Elliot says, his voice raspy from not speaking for days. "Why am I here?"

Cragen stands and comes closer to the bed.

"You were shot, Elliot." Cragen tells him. "Do you remember anything?"

Elliot leans his head back onto the bed and concentrates hard on the previous days.

"No… I don't remember," he says, slowly shaking his head.

Cragen stares down at his detective, watching him search his memory for answers.

"Elliot… Meyers shot you," Cragen continues. "Neighbors heard shots coming from Olivia's apartment and called the police. You're lucky to be alive."

Elliot jerks his head toward Cragen and his eyes go wide.

"Olivia's apar-…what? Olivia…Was she shot? Is she okay?" Elliot asks, panicking.

Cragen bows his head before looking at Elliot again.

"Elliot, we don't know. We haven't found her yet. Meyers took her from the hotel before anyone got there," Cragen responds.

Elliot fully sits up and snatches the IV and cords from his arms.

"No… this can't be happening. We gotta find her now," he says, standing up from the bed.

"Calm down, Elliot," Cragen tells him. "You need to stay here. You're not well. You won't be able to do anything in the condition you're in."

Elliot moves his arm to remove his gown and yells out in pain. He looks down to see bandages in between his shoulder and chest. He shakes the pain off and begins pacing the room.

"Where are my clothes? Where'd they put my clothes?" he yells while scanning the room.

"They were all bloody… and they are evidence now. Elliot, you're not thinking clearly. That's exactly what I mean," Cragen says.

Elliot grabs the back of his neck in frustration and sits back down onto the bed.

"This can't be happening again… Cap, she must be so scared," he whispers, more to himself than to Cragen.

"We'll get 'er," Cragen reassures him. "Just like the last time… we'll get 'er."

Elliot drops his head into his hands and feels his hot tears on his palms.

"How did this happen?" Elliot cries. "How did he even find her?"

"We'll figure that all out," Cragen tells him, already knowing the real answer.

Cragen knows that Grant had taken the key card after he shot Elliot, but he doesn't want to give Elliot any information that may lead Elliot to believe that he is responsible in any way. He places his hand on Elliot's shoulder and gently shakes him.

"Now's the time to be strong for her," Cragen says. "We'll get 'em, but I need you to get your head together. I need you to remain here."

Elliot looks up at Cragen with fury on his face.

"How am I gonna be any help if I stay here? That bastard's out there somewhere with Olivia and you just expect me to stay here and rest? I promised Olivia that she was safe… Now that son of a bitch is probably raping her and abusing her even more…I won't be getting any rest at this hospital knowing that! Face it!" Elliot says, standing to his feet again.

Cragen nods his head and remains calm to keep Elliot calm.

"Elliot, you're an adult. I can't make you stay here… but you're not working on this case. You're a liability. You're hurt and I cannot allow you to work while you're in this condition," Cragen kindly tells him.

"That's fine," Elliot says, grabbing a pair of scrub pants off of a chair.

Elliot knows that Cragen will not budge on his decision about him working. However, he knows that Cragen's orders will not prevent him from searching for her himself. He slips on the pants and ties his gown tighter around him.

"We need to find this bastard before he kills her," Elliot says, storming out of the room.

Cragen follows closely behind him, slightly bowing his head as he walks. Unlike before, Cragen and the team have no leads. With Roy now behind bars and with the confirmation that Grant's other acquaintance is not involved, he knows that Elliot is yet to understand the difficulty of this situation. The only thing they know for sure is that Grant Meyers captured Olivia. There is nothing to indicate where he's taken her or even if Olivia is alive. It has only been five days and the team already finds themselves at a stalemate.

_**What do you think? Do you hate me? Probably. =) Please, please review! THANKS!**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**LMAO comment of the day:**_

"_**You need to update soon! Why are you reading this review when you could be typing?" -**_MHfan11794

_**The sixth day**_

Olivia awakens under Grant's strong arm and stares down at her fully clothed body. She is in the same sweat outfit that she has been wearing since she was first taken from the hotel, and she begins to wonder how she managed to go a night without Grant raping her.

She begins losing count of the number of times that Grant has violated her body. Every second of every day she waits for that certain gaze that appears in Grant's eyes, which informs her that he is ready to make her his once again. It happens multiple times a day, but last night was the first actual night that Grant had not raped her.

She lies in bed wondering if he is quickly becoming bored of her. Just then, she hears Grant yawning as he awakens from his sleep. She turns her head to stare at him and sees the same disgusting smile plastered across his face that he has every morning.

"You never cook," he says, his voice raspier than usual from his sleep.

"Hm?" Olivia mumbles while furrowing her eyebrows.

"We always order stuff, but you never cook," Grant answers. "I think we need to take this to the next stage… You need to start acting like a good wife and cook."

Olivia looks away from him.

_Is he joking? _Olivia wonders as she stares down at the floral sheets on the mattress.

This in no way is a picture of how a 'marriage' should look. Grant controls Olivia throughout each day, even in their sleep. He never asks her if she wants sex; he simply climbs on top of her or carries her into the room when he's ready.

Furthermore, despite the happy face that he presents to her every morning, Grant is the same sadistic and cruel human being who Olivia has always known him to be. Olivia quickly learns that if she doesn't move fast enough when he says move or if she doesn't speak fast enough when he wants an answer, then Grant becomes violent.

She enjoys showers because showering is practically the only time that he allows her to be alone, and not to mention, it is the place where she can cleanse herself of Grant. The afternoon that he had asked to join Olivia in the shower, she politely refused. Olivia learns not to ever deny him after Grant had snatched her from the shower and had beaten her on the bathroom floor with his fists.

"What would you like?" Olivia responds in a timid tone.

Grant releases a sigh and places his hands behind his head.

"I don't know…let's start off with something small," he answers. "Cook us some breakfast."

Olivia nods and begins to remove herself from the bed before she feels Grant's hand gripping her upper arm.

"No, no," Grant says, shaking his head. "The same rules still apply. You don't move without my say so… and you don't get to be in other parts of the house when I'm not there."

Olivia freezes as Grant removes his hand from her arm and climbs out of the bed. He walks in front of her and cocks his head in the direction of the kitchen.

"C'mon," he tells her. "Let's go see what you can whip us up for breakfast."

They enter the kitchen and Olivia stands in the center as Grant takes a seat at the table. She watches him, waiting for his commands.

"Well?" Grant says. "What are you waiting for?"

Olivia knows that this is another part of Grant's mind games and she guesses that it will not end well. Grant always gives her specific instructions and never allows Olivia to make decisions on her own. She knows that whatever she chooses to cook that Grant will most likely complain about it or punish her for it.

"Wha-…What would you like?" Olivia asks, stuttering.

Grant shakes his head and stares at her.

"I am so disappointed in you, Olivia. You should know what I like by now. We've been together long enough," he answers.

Each morning Grant and Olivia eat a cold breakfast, never anything cooked. Grant usually prepares cereal then watches Olivia as he forces her to eat with him.

Olivia moves to the refrigerator and doesn't bother to argue with him about the fact that they have never eaten anything cooked for breakfast. She never wins arguments with him so she figures there is no point in objecting to it.

Olivia encounters Grant's abuse almost every time she questions his orders to her, and every beating ends with an apology from him before he gets her into bed and has his way with her.

Olivia opens the refrigerator and takes out the typical breakfast foods that she sees: Bacon, eggs and Pillsbury uncooked biscuits. She places them on the counter with her shaky hands and looks over at Grant to see his reaction to the food she picked. Grant purposely keeps his face blank, giving no indication if he likes what Olivia is choosing to cook.

Olivia returns to the refrigerator and grabs a stick of butter. She chooses not to turn the appliances on until she's ready to use them as she remembers the last time she and Grant were together with a hot stove on. She looks at the burn on her palm before crouching down and grabbing a cookie sheet pan, placing each biscuits on it. She turns on the oven and slides the pan in.

Grant watches her like a hawk as she continues cooking and Olivia feels his gaze on her back. When she finishes, she prepares two plates and walks over to the table, placing them down. She pulls out a chair and sits across from Grant, watching as he stares down at his food.

"This looks fantastic," he tells her.

He takes his first bite and smiles at Olivia while he's chewing. Olivia visibly relaxes after seeing Grant's reaction.

Grant cocks his head at her plate before speaking.

"Don't start that anorexic bullshit on me today. Eat," he orders her.

Although Olivia is no where close to hungry, she picks up her fork and brings the scrambled eggs to her mouth, nibbling on them. She eats cautiously because she knows that despite the happy life that Grant often tries to persuade her that they are living, he loves maintaining constant control.

He finds something wrong in everything Olivia does and overreacts to her mistakes just to see her flinch and form the same fearful look in her eyes that she had when he first attacked her. She looks up at him and is not surprised when she sees slight anger spread across his face.

"Where are the drinks?" he asks, giving her a cold stare.

Olivia drops her head and releases a shaky breath. She knows that Grant would have eventually found a mistake in what she did. She looks back up at him before speaking.

"I-I must've forgotten," she stutters. "Here, I'll get something for you right now," she says as she begins standing.

Before she completely removes herself from her seat, Grant pushes his plate off the table and the food crashes down onto the floor, the glass from the plate shattering on impact.

Olivia jumps and yelps from the sound, releasing heavy breaths as she stares at the shattered plate and the mess of food on the floor, then back over to Grant. She slowly shakes her head and closes her eyes, preparing herself for Grant's rage.

"You love making me fucking unhappy, don't you?" Grant asks in a harsh tone.

Olivia looks down into her lap and shakes her head.

"No," she answers in a soft tone.

Grant slams his fist down hard onto the table and surprises Olivia when she sees him storm away from the table and into the living room, not laying a single finger on her.

"Why do you wear the same Goddamn thing everyday?" Grant asks, changing the subject.

Olivia looks down at her sweats and doesn't answer him as she wonders why Grant enjoys the mental torture so much. Grant already knows that this is the only outfit Olivia has with her. He had not given her the opportunity to take any of her belongings with her after he invaded her hotel room.

"You're a horrible wife," Grant says. "We need to take you shopping. You're not going to be wearing the same fucking thing around me everyday."

"Okay," Olivia responds as she continues to sit at the table.

"Go take a shower," Grant orders her. "You look like trash."

Olivia doesn't waste a second as she removes herself from her seat and heads straight into the bathroom. She turns the shower on before sliding her pants past her knees and sitting on the toilet. After going, she wipes and notices by the way the toilet paper easily glides across her entrance that there is more moisture than there should be.

She holds the toilet paper up in front of her and sees it covered with blood. She closes her eyes and silently thanks God for the blood she sees. This is the first time that Olivia is actually thankful to have her period. She finishes wiping before stripping her sweatshirt off and hopping into the tub.

While showering, she prays that this isn't just one time luck. She prays that by some miracle, Grant is unable to have children. She stands under the hot water and lets it massage her old and fresh bruises.

She finally steps out of the tub, not wanting Grant to make that decision for her. She grabs her towel and dries off before balling up a handful of toilet paper and pressing it between her legs. She puts her sweatshirt and sweatpants on and walks back into the living room to see Grant sitting on the sofa.

She debates in her mind whether or not to tell Grant that she is on her period. She knows that Grant will eventually find out, either before he rapes her or after she's forced to break down and beg him to buy tampons. Still, she doesn't want to tell Grant because she knows that Grant might see her announcement as excitement that she isn't pregnant by him. She decides to keep quiet as she walks over to the sofa and sits next to Grant.

Grant looks at Olivia and slants his eyebrows.

"What are you so happy about?" he asks her in an annoyed tone.

Just then, Olivia realizes that she is unintentionally smiling. Getting pregnant by Grant is one of her worst fears and receiving her period is the only good thing that has happened to her besides going one night without Grant climbing on top of her.

Her smile quickly vanishes and she swallows, hoping that Grant won't suspect anything.

"You're up to something," Grant says, waving his finger at her.

Olivia shakes her head before speaking.

"No…I'm not. I'm just looking forward to having some new clothes. That's all," she lies as she stares at him.

Grant smiles before placing his hand on her thigh and rubbing it.

"I'm glad you're excited," he says. "I wish you would have told me earlier that you wanted something else to wear. All I want to do is make you happy."

Olivia is tempted to roll her eyes as she listens to him. Grant often switches off and on, from kind and gentle to possessive and cruel. Olivia knows that it is only a matter of time before Grant returns to his old and abusive ways.

She fakes a smile before Grant stands to his feet and offers her his hand. She accepts his hand and stands from the sofa. Grant lifts his shirt and shows her the gun tucked in his pants.

"Are you going to be any trouble while we're out? Can I trust you?" Grant asks her.

"Yes…you can," Olivia responds, nodding.

Grant gives her an unconvincing smile before tightening his grip around her hand and leading her back toward the hallway. Olivia looks at his face and can tell that for whatever reason Grant did not believe the answer she gave him.

"Where are we going?" she asks nervously as Grant continues pulling her through the hallway.

He doesn't answer, leading her into a dark, windowless room at the end of the hallway. Olivia looks around and notices that the room is empty, only containing a thick pole which extends from the floor to the ceiling. The small room could almost be mistaken as a large closet, but it doesn't have any shelves in it. Olivia looks up at Grant and her heart begins to pound hard against her chest.

"What are we doing in here?" she whispers to him.

"Stay right here," Grant commands her. "If you move, you'll soon regret it."

He leaves the room and Olivia hears him enter the room next door, opening and shutting drawers as if he is searching for something. She hates how unpredictable Grant is, especially at times like this. Olivia remains still until Grant returns to the dark room with long cords in his hands. Olivia focuses on them and guesses that they are probably phone cords.

"Sit," he orders her.

"Gra…Grant, what did I do?" Olivia asks timidly.

"I said, SIT!" Grant yells.

Olivia flinches at the thunder in his voice before slowly lowering herself to the floor. Grant places his hands underneath her armpits and drags her backwards until her back touches the pole.

"Grant, don't do this," Olivia pleads with him. "You can trust me."

Olivia does not want to be any more vulnerable than she already is. Grant ignores her, pulling her hands behind the pole and tightly wrapping one of the cords around her wrists.

"That's…too tight," Olivia softly cries as the cord burns her sensative skin, roughly rubbing up against her wrists. "I won't move, I promise."

"Shut the fuck up," Grant growls, binding the cord between and around her wrists until Olivia's hands are red.

Grant moves down to her ankles, repeating the process. After he finishes her ankles he returns to her wrists and assures that the cord is secure.

"You're not going to move a muscle," Grant says, bringing his face to hers. "I'm going out to run a few errands. When I return and I see that you've messed around with these cords… trust me, you'll pay for it."

Olivia nods her head before squeezing her eyes shut in attempt to ignore the throbbing on her wrists and ankles.

"I'll be quick," Grant responds, giving her a quick kiss on her forehead.

Grant exits the room, shutting the door behind him. Olivia hears a lock click before hearing his footsteps trail down the hallway. She sits, frozen in fear and looking into the darkness. She begins to wonder if this is just a test; if Grant is tip toeing back to door, waiting for her to attempt an escape.

She tries to concentrate on the sounds outside the door, but her panicked state hinders her senses. Her hands quickly go numb as she waits, listening for any signs that would indicate that Grant is still in the house. She thinks she hears footsteps through her labored breathing and begins sobbing out of frustration as her mind plays tricks on her.

She begins to wonder how long this would last; how long Grant would keep her alive and use her as his 'wife.' She looks forward to the day when he decides to kill her. She can't stand living knowing that Elliot is dead and her guilt eats away at her more and more as each day goes by. She thinks about Elliot's children now being fatherless, blaming herself for putting him in harm's way.

She suddenly hears the floor boards creaking and wonders if the sound is caused by the shifting of the old house or by Grant's steps. She holds her breath, but doesn't hear any other noises.

Olivia waits for what seems like hours to her until she hears the front door open. She sits, slumped over with her head bowed, her chin nearly making contact with her chest. She slowly brings her head up as the door to the room opens and Grant walks in. He walks behind her and crouches down, examining her wrists.

"Hm, maybe I _can_ trust you," Grant says as he begins untying the cords. "You haven't moved at all. Maybe next time I'll let you come with."

Grant finishes unraveling the cord and Olivia's hands immediately drop to the floor, completely numb from being bound so tight. He unties the cord around her ankles and when he sees that her hands and feet are now numb, he lifts her from the floor, carrying her out of the room. He brings her into the bedroom and lowers her down onto the bed. He picks up a plastic bag from the floor and pulls items of clothing out of it, presenting them to Olivia.

"I had to guess your size," Grant tells her as he lifts a sweater up in front of her. "I think I did pretty good, don't you think?"

Olivia tiredly nods her head before bringing her now half numb hands to her stomach and wincing in pain. Grant frowns and drops the bag, climbing into the bed before staring at her face.

"What's the matter?" he asks in a gentle tone. "Did I hurt you?"

Grant reaches his hand out to her stomach and gently rubs it before trailing his fingers down her middle. He stops when he sees blood on the crouch of Olivia's sweat pants.

"What happened here?" he whispers as he looks into Olivia's eyes. "Was I that rough with ya?"

Olivia stares at him before closing her eyes and slowly shaking her head.

"I don't know. I'm a woman, Grant… think about it," she softly speaks, unable to control her sarcasm.

Grant tilts his eyebrows before looking back down at the spots of blood on her pants.

"Dammit, why didn't you tell me? I could have gotten you something."

Olivia ignores his question, keeping her eyes closed.

"Fucking disgusting," Grant scolds her. "Why'd you do this?"

Olivia releases a heavy breath before speaking.

"You're gonna have to get used to this," she tells him.

Grant walks back over to the bag and folds the sweater, placing it back inside.

"You get on my fucking nerves, Olivia," he says, gritting through his teeth.

Olivia usually resists the urge to argue with Grant or to defend herself because she knows that each argument will end with her in greater physical pain. However, she can't help herself as Grant continues to scold her for doing what women naturally do.

"Grant, you can't be serious. This isn't my fault," Olivia tells him, holding her stomach as she tries to ignore the cramping.

"Nothing's your fucking fault," Grant speaks in a harsh tone. "You're always the innocent one. Its women like you that piss me the hell off!"

"Then kill me!" Olivia says, surprising herself.

She does want to die, but she never knew she had the guts to tell him. Grant stops and stares at her as he realizes that Olivia would rather be dead than to be with him.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Grant asks her, his tone deep.

Tears begin to roll down Olivia's face as she nods her head.

"Yeah, I would. What are you waiting for? Just kill me! Since you enjoy killing people so much!" she cries.

Olivia knows that she's made a mistake in asking Grant to kill her. Like everything else, Grant enjoys doing the opposite of what she wants. She realizes that the longer she pleads for her death, the longer Grant will keep her alive. She looks into his eyes and sees that his only interest is causing her more pain, not killing her. She begins believing that Grant meant what he said when he stated that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Her only wish now is that Grant would have a change of heart and put her out of her misery, but deep down inside she knows that her death isn't coming anytime soon.

_**PLEASE REVIEW FOR MORE AND I'LL TRY TO DO A QUICK UPDATE! ELLIOT'S IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! THANKS FOR READING!**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey guys! I'm back from my NYC trip. I was thinking about changing the direction of my story based on two reviews I received, but I said screw it… I'm not going to drastically change my writing style and go to a quick fluffy ending just to make two people happy. It would be unrealistic and it's not what I had planned for this story. It's extremely angsty and painful to read, but it's suppose to be. Please don't rush the ending. I was feeling down for a short second because of a review I received but then many many many other viewers/readers snapped me out of it and told me to keep doing what I do best which is writing the story the way I intended… and going in the direction that I pictured from the beginning. I've received over 170 reviews already (thanks to you guys) and I'll try not to focus on the few negative ones. It's hard sometimes because I don't like upsetting people, but I've discovered that it's impossible to make everyone happy. *shrugs* Again, if you're looking for a fluffy story or a story with suspense and a quick heroic rescue, then turn away. **

**This reviewer summed up how I feel the best IMO:**

"_**Idk what anyone could complain about, bb, these updates are amazing. Painful circumstances to imagine, yes, but that just shows that you have the power to push the envelope in creating angst and plot intrigue."**_** –urbanslang **

**THANKS**

_**The 8**__**th**__** Day**_

"Look what I found in Granny's medicine cabinet," Grant says, presenting two bottles of pills to Olivia as she sits on the bed.

Olivia stares at the bottles and then back up at Grant, her eyebrows slanted. Grant sits on the side of the bed near Olivia, grinning.

"These should help to relieve some of that pain," Grant says, opening the safety cap to one of the bottles. "After you take a few of these, you'll forget that the pain was even there. Vicodin…or Oxycontin. Which one would you like?"

Olivia stares at one of the bottles as Grant drops two pills into his hand.

"I'm not in pain anymore," Olivia lies, shaking her head.

Grant reaches his hand over and squeezes Olivia's bruised side and she winces from the harsh contact. Grant waves his pointer finger in front of her face.

"Why do you constantly lie to me? I don't get it," he tells her.

He shakes his head while leaning over and grabbing the glass of water that he had placed on the night stand.

"Take these. It will get rid of the cramps and you won't be bothered by your bruises anymore," Grant tells her.

"Since when do you care if I'm in pain or not?" Olivia snaps, clutching onto her side.

Grant grabs her upper arm tightly, putting pressure on her burn. Olivia releases a small whimper, recoiling from his strong grasp.

"Don't forget who you're fucking talking to," Grant growls.

Grant releases her arm and grabs her hand, placing the pills in her palm.

"You love it when I hurt you, don't you?" Grant asks, staring into her eyes. "You must like it. Every time I'm nice to you, you always have some smartass remark!"

Olivia bows her head and closes her fist around the pills. She doesn't trust Grant. Although the pills will most likely assist in relieving her pain, Olivia can't help but to think that Grant is only giving her the medication to make her weaker. She sees every action and gesture of Grant's as something that will eventually bring harm to her.

"I'm sorry," Olivia whispers after looking up and seeing the fury in Grant's eyes.

"These aren't only for the pain," Grant continues. "They will help you to relax. You're too goddamn tense. Now…I'm only going to ask you one last time… take them."

Olivia takes the glass from Grant and takes a mouthful of water before tossing a Vicodin inside her mouth and swallowing it. She realizes she has no chance of defending herself when Grant is hurting her whether she is under the influence of the medication or not.

She also realizes that what Grant is telling her is the truth; the pills will relax her. She considers asking for more pills, thinking that maybe she can knock herself out with them before Grant violates her body or even better, kill herself. She now sees being unconscious as an advantage after spending over a week under Grant's authority.

"Good girl," Grant says as he watches her swallow the second pill. "Maybe now you won't be cowering beneath me. I'm sick of you squirming and crying when we're making love… it's such a fucking turn off."

_Love._

Olivia doesn't respond, closing her eyes as she attempts in vain to block out those painful images of what Grant considered love.

She knows from dealing with countless rapists and rape victims that the resistance to sex and her repulsion to Grant's sexual advances is what most excites him. Despite what Grant is telling her, Olivia knows that Grant is aroused by her refusal to fully submit herself to him. The moment Olivia begins responding to Grant in bed, he will no longer see her as a challenge and most likely kill her.

Olivia sees a way out. She knows how to escape this hell. She knows how to make Grant become bored with her, but she can't bring herself to give in to him. Every moment that Grant's hands are on her, she feels a deathly chill come over her body, her heart aching as it pounds hard against her chest. She can't imagine wrapping her arms around him while he is on top of her and even the image of it nauseates her.

She remains sitting on the bed and begins feeling the effect of the Vicodin. She feels her blood heat up and her skin tingles as the medication gradually spreads through her system.

"I gave you double the dosage," Grant says as she opens her eyes. "You needed it."

Olivia nods her head and her heartbeat slows as she tilts her head up and stares at him.

"Maybe next time I'll cut it up and have you sniff it," Grant suggests as he reaches his hand out and combs his fingers through her hair. "You feel the buzz immediately that way. I want you comfortable, Olivia… I want you happy."

_**Location: The 16**__**th**__** Precinct 11:16 PM**_

Elliot walks over to Munch and Fin's desks and takes a peek inside Cragen's office to see his empty chair and his office light off.

"What are you doing here?" Munch asks. "You heard what the Captain said. You can't-"

Elliot interrupts him before he finishes.

"Please, just save it, Munch. I'm not going to sit around while Liv is out there somewhere being hurt by that sadistic bastard. That's not happenin'," he says, shaking his head.

.

Munch opens his mouth to object, but decides against it, knowing that he wouldn't be able to convince Elliot to remove himself from the case.

Elliot looks into Munch's eyes, pleading.

"Just tell me what ya got so far… please, Munch. I'm dyin' here," he whispers to him.

Munch sighs and looks over at Fin who shrugs his shoulders.

"We don't have much," Munch begins. "We're guessing that she's not far. We know that Grant is comfortable here. He most likely invaded another home and is keeping her there."

Elliot nods his head and looks over at Fin for more answers.

"He hasn't killed her, Elliot," Fin reassures him. "He wouldn't risk taking her only to kill her off."

Elliot drops into a chair near their desks and bows his head.

"You think that makes me feel any better? More at ease? It doesn't. I just keep thinking about the horrible things he could be doing to her. I haven't slept," Elliot responds.

The room momentarily goes quiet as Munch and Fin watch Elliot, his hands trembling as he sits in the chair. Elliot finally breaks the silence, looking up at Munch.

"So where have you all been looking? Are we any closer? Please give me something good, Munch," Elliot says, practically crying as he speaks.

"Well we know Grant's not comfortable with men," Munch responds. "We've been looking into cases where women have gone missing in the past week. There was one woman we found who never showed up to work and was reported missing, but we checked her home and found no signs of Olivia. We've been looking into other missing persons cases, as well."

Elliot clasps his fingers together, attempting to stop his hands from shaking.

"What if he took her somewhere far away? They could be on the other side of the country by now," Elliot says. "Are you guys even looking into other possibilities?"

"It's not just us," Fin reassures him. "There's not one cop in New York City who isn't investing their time in this case, Elliot. We'll find her."

Elliot nods his head again, but Fin can see that his mind is still racing.

"I think you guys may be right about one thing. I just… I feel that she's here," Elliot responds. "My gut tells me that she's close by."

"That's what we're hoping for," Fin says before rolling his chair toward Elliot and patting him on the back. "Go home, Elliot."

Elliot ignores his remark and continues speaking. He knows going home isn't an option and decides not to tell his coworkers about his nights spent in a hotel.

"What about the vehicle he used?" Elliot asks. "He had to have stolen some sort of vehicle in order to take her."

"We've already done our homework on that," Munch responds. "We believe the car belongs to a Marie Foster. Her vehicle was car-jacked by a man fitting Grant's description."

"And?" Elliot asks, anxious to know every detail. "There haven't been any spottings of this car? We should be searching for it!"

Munch shakes his head and raises his hands to calm Elliot.

"We've done that, Elliot, but we can't search every inch of New York City. You know that," Munch says in a soft tone. "As much as we would like to, you know that's not possible."

Elliot stands to his feet and looks down at Fin's desk.

"What kind of car is it? What color? Give me the plates," Elliot says as he looks through the papers on Fin's desk.

"What are you doing?" Fin asks as he watches Elliot rummage through the paper on his desk.

"I'm going to go look for her. What does it look like I'm doing?" Elliot responds. "She needs my help."

Elliot finds the vehicle information and folds the paper up, stuffing it into his pants pocket.

"Elliot, you're not thinking clearly," Munch advises him. "What are you going to do? Search every block in New York City?"

Elliot begins exiting the precinct without looking back at Munch and Fin.

"Yeah…something like that," he responds as he disappears from the squad room.

_**Location: Unknown**_

Olivia doesn't make a sound as Grant presses his hand into her shoulder and gently pushes her onto her back. He leans over her, grinning as he watches her drift in and out of consciousness.

"Isn't this much better?" he whispers as he watches her eyes slowly close shut then open as her mind fights the strong medication that is flowing through her veins.

Olivia flutters her eyes lids as she feels Grant's cold hands glide along her abs. She moans and squints her eyes, confused by the sudden contact.

"Why?" she mumbles, barely audible.

"Because," Grant whispers as he places a kiss on her forehead. "Because I love you."

Olivia doesn't even notice Grant positioning himself. Her mouth opens and her eyes roll back as he enters her. She closes her eyes as he moves inside her and momentarily disconnects from reality.

She feels her body moving, but no longer notices Grant inside her as she experiences the full effects of the medication. Grant finishes and Olivia slowly cracks her eyes open and sees a blurry image of his face above her.

She believes she is near death as she feels her faint heartbeat and her breathing slowing.

"You did good." She hears Grant's whispers echoing through her eardrums. "You were great."

Olivia releases a quiet moan and slowly blinks as she remains on her back.

"You're not even crying," Grant remarks. "Ya see… these help you to relax."

Olivia nods her head as she feels the buzz and tries to focus on Grant's words while she watches his lips move.

"Was it better?" she hears him ask.

Olivia doesn't answer until she feels Grant's full body weight crushing her as he lies on top of her, awaiting her response.

"Yes," she whispers, gently exhaling as she speaks.

Grant caresses her cheek before rolling off of her.

"I told you," he responds. "Just keep listening to me… Do as I say and I will make sure you feel no pain. Got it?"

Olivia slowly nods her head and tries to resist sleep as Grant continues speaking to her.

"Tell me what you thought," Grant orders her. "Be honest."

Olivia shakes her head and her eyes slowly shut half way as she concentrates on keeping them open.

"I…I can't think. Pl-…please," Olivia whispers as she tries to fight the medication.

"I don't care," Grant responds. "Tell me. Don't make me upset."

Olivia pushes through her drowsiness and manages to release a few words.

"I…I loved…," she mumbles as her eyes slightly cross.

"You're not acting like it," Grant snaps.

Olivia wants to let her unconsciousness take over, but she knows that Grant won't let that happen until he gets everything he wants from her.

"No… I did," Olivia whispers, struggling to say each word. "I…loved…love it. Really."

Grant smiles and rubs the back of his hand across her forehead. Olivia's forehead is clammy and Grant feels the moisture on his hand.

"You shouldn't be nervous. You can relax now," Grant soothes. "Don't fight it."

Olivia easily obeys his orders and immediately shuts her eyes, giving in to sleep.

_**Please review. More to come soon! I just got back from NYC so I was really busy this past week and couldn't update like I wanted to. I don't have much planned for this week so you should see more updates soon… most likelytomorrow.**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Sorry for the delay. This chapter has been completed for days but I was having technical difficulties uploading it to fanfiction. Thanks for your encouraging comments and compliments. You guys make me smile. Enjoy **_

_**The 10th day**_

Olivia experiences yet another session of Grant's emotional abuse as she sits on the bed and listens to him speak, her high barely present from the remaining drugs in her system. Just hours before, as promised, Grant had used the flat edge of a knife to crush up a couple of Vicodin pills, easily turning the pills into a powder and demanding that Olivia sniff them in.

Grant enjoys their time together when Olivia is drugged because she is more compliant, which is what he considers affection and love for him. However, he is quickly becoming bored with her calm and unemotional state. He taunts Olivia, awaiting a reaction out of her. He wants to see her break even further, unsatisfied with her responses.

"I've changed you… You don't know how exciting it is to change a woman," Grant says, pacing around the bedroom. "When I first met you, you were an arrogant bitch. Now look at ya! You won't even speak without my permission."

Sexually and physically abusing Olivia doesn't always satisfy Grant. He needs to control her entire being in order to be content. Olivia stares straight ahead, unresponsive to Grant's insults.

"How does that make you feel? I'm curious." Grant asks. "How does it feel being an NYPD detective one day, and my bitch the next day? To have the man that you were trying to put behind bars on top of you every other hour of the day?"

Grant scoffs when he looks over at Olivia and sees that his words have little to no effect on her. Olivia had heard this speech too many times to shed any tears over it. Grant smirks before he continues speaking. He realizes that the only way to continue destroying her emotionally is to bring up the one thing that she always responds to.

"I wonder what _Elliot_ would think of this," Grant says.

Olivia looks up at him and Grant cracks a smile when he sees that he's already caught her attention.

"You're lucky he's dead. I wonder what he would think after seeing what a pathetic piece of shit you are," Grant scolds her.

Olivia clinches her fists and her eyes begin to sting as her salty tears threaten to surface.

"Even if you were always pathetic, he didn't deserve you," Grant continues. "Elliot didn't know how to handle you. He was a weak man."

Olivia closes her eyes as she concentrates on blocking out Grant's words. Each day she torments herself and blames her own selfish actions for Elliot's death. She doesn't need Grant insulting him and making her feel any more pathetic than she already feels. She would rather take a beating over listening to her abuser speak of Elliot.

Grant crosses his arms over his chest and watches her closely, now satisfied with her emotional response.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink. Want one, Olivia?" he asks before unfolding his arms and walking toward the door.

Olivia is not surprised by Grant's sudden personality change. She quickly adapts to it. She sees him exit the bedroom and is unable to take her mind off of Elliot as she continues to sit. Grant leaves her alone on the bed and walks toward the kitchen. He knows that Olivia will not attempt an escape. She had given up her fight nearly a week ago and has no will to survive, no longer valuing her life.

She hears him open the refrigerator door and looks over to the left, noticing the bottle of Vicodin on the night stand. She focuses on the sounds from the kitchen and hears a faint popping noise as Grant opens a can of soda. Without wasting another second, she quickly reaches for the bottle of pills, and attempts to unscrew the safety cap. She frantically turns her head from side to side as she searches the room for water or some type of drink, but sees nothing.

The drugs impair her thinking as she struggles to remove the cap. She finally opens it, quickly pouring the pills into the palm of her hand. She hesitates before deciding to consume the pills despite her dry throat.

A few pills drop to the floor and scatter as her hands shake uncontrollably. She pauses and listens out for sounds from the kitchen, fearing that Grant might have heard the pills bouncing off of the hard wood floor.

She hears Grant's footsteps in the distance and quickly brings her hand to her lips, tossing as many pills as she can into her mouth. She swallows, attempting to push the large pills past her dry throat. She gags as the bitter pills dissolve on her tongue. She hears Grant approaching the hallway and bites down, crushing the pills between her teeth.

She chews on them and swallows as many of them as she can before pouring more into her hand and tossing them into her mouth. Grant's halfway down the hallway as Olivia crushes the second round of pills between her teeth in the same manner and pushes them past her throat.

Grant comes around the corner and Olivia freezes while a few of the pills dissolve in her mouth. She slowly continues to swallow as Grant walks into the bedroom. When Grant brings the drink to his lips and sips from the can, Olivia quickly stuffs the pill bottle underneath the covers, concealing it.

The chalky, bitter substance makes her eyes water as it fills her mouth and throat.

"What should we have for lunch?" Grant asks as he walks over to the bed and sits beside her.

Grant sees the tears in her eyes and grins as he assumes that his words from before are causing her to cry. He looks closely at her face and suddenly notices the bulges in her cheeks. He slants his eyebrows before he notices white specks on the floor from the corner of his eye. He looks down and sees two pills on the floor by their feet.

He looks over at the bare night stand before snapping his head back at Olivia. He snarls, pushing himself off the bed and onto his feet. He snatches the covers back to see the bottle of Vicodin barely empty, only containing two or three pills.

He reaches toward Olivia, forcing his fingers into her mouth and prying it open.

"What the fuck did you do?" he panics as the milky, white substance rubs off onto his fingers.

Olivia coughs hard, sending a mixture of her saliva and the crushed pills toward Grant, splattering it onto his shirt.

"Shit," he says under his breath before pulling Olivia's arm and yanking her off the bed.

Olivia momentarily goes limp and Grant holds her up. He shoves his thumb into her mouth and presses down hard on the back of her tongue. Olivia realizes what Grant is attempting to do and weakly fights him, barely wiggling out of his grasp.

"You bitch," Grant scolds as he grips her face and shoves his thumb back into her mouth. He pushes his thumb as far as it would go near her throat and presses down even harder onto her tongue.

Olivia gags again before vomiting, the crushed and liquefied pills flying from her mouth and onto the floor. She immediately drops to the floor and coughs as the pills continue making their way back up her throat. Her entire body trembles as she continues to cough violently.

"Fuck!" Grant yells.

Olivia takes in shallow, shaky breaths as the chalky substance continues to block her airways. She coughs once again, sending more splatters onto the floor.

Grant grabs her upper arm, yanking her from the floor and throwing her back onto the bed.

"What the FUCK is wrong with you?" he yells, walking over to the wall and punching it with his fist.

Olivia sucks in as much oxygen as she can while she lies on the bed, curled up. Grant looks down and sees the small puddle of white vomit, in shock by the events that just occurred.

"What's wrong with you?" he roars. "HUH?"

He storms over to the bed and tangles his fingers into Olivia's hair, roughly pulling on it and forcing her to face him. Olivia's breaths are still shallow as she desperately seeks more air. Grant releases her and Olivia falls back onto the bed, her chest rising and falling with each shaky breath.

"Fucking bitch! You're not getting away with this!" Grant yells. "Do you hear me?"

Olivia closes her eyes and tenses as Grant's loud yelling fills the entire house.

"I can't ever trust you again!" Grant yells. "I'm gonna make you wish that you finished the job and killed yourself. You should have moved a bit faster with swallowing those damn pills, babe… because you're gonna fuckin' pay for it. I promise you."

Olivia takes slower, more relaxed breaths as her throat finally clears. She buries her face into the covers, avoiding Grant's gaze.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" Grant asks. "Answer me!"

Olivia keeps her face slightly buried in the covers. She feels more protected as she continues to avoid his gaze.

"Please… I'm begging you. Kill me…" she cries through the fabric.

Grant stands in front of her, so close that his shins brush up against the side of the bed.

"I don't think so. You're mine, do you hear me? Mine!" he yells, taking a handful of Olivia's sweater and shaking her. "You're not going anywhere. I'm not finished with you."

Olivia shrinks back, distancing herself as far away as she can from Grant and stretching her sweater as she pulls away from him. She wishes that she would have moved faster. She regrets not running for the bottle at the exact moment that Grant's foot made contact with the hallway floor. She vows not to make that mistake again and thinks of ways to gain his trust back, longing for the moment when Grant decides to leave her alone again.

Olivia feels her body drop fully onto the mattress as Grant releases her. She covers her face and releases a small cry as he jabs her in the side with his fist.

"You sneaky bitch! I knew I couldn't trust you!"

Grant sits on the bed and punches his fist into the mattress in frustration. He watches Olivia as she remains curled up on the bed, her arms shielding her face. He slowly calms his breathing and lowers his tone as he speaks.

"What should I do to you now? I'm sure you already know that you need to be punished for this," he says, staring down at her. "You've pissed me off so much that I can't even think of what to do with you."

Olivia surprises Grant as she reaches out and grabs his hand, clutching onto it.

"I'm so sorry," she tells him. "I wasn't thinking. I don't want to leave you… ever."

Grant slants his eyebrows and stares into Olivia's eyes.

"Oh, is that so?" Grant asks, still taken back by Olivia's reaction.

Olivia releases her grip slightly and gently rubs her thumb on the back of his hand.

"Yes… it is. I'm just tired and I feel weak. I haven't eaten much…and the drugs must be too strong…I wasn't thinking clearly. I don't know why I did that. I don't want to die, Grant…I don't," she whispers to him.

Grant's face relaxes as he listens to her speak. He closes his hand around hers and nods his head.

"It's okay… I forgive you. But that's why I've been telling you to eat, Olivia. You're making yourself sick and the lack of food is distorting your thoughts. You need to start listening to me. I'm only telling you what's best for you," Grant says in a softer tone.

Olivia nods her head before scooting closer to Grant and laying her head in his lap. Grant's eyes go wide as she rests her head on his thigh. Olivia doesn't know if Grant will fall for her act, but she knows she needs to try whatever she can to gain Grant's trust back and to avoid another beating.

Grant brings his hand to her scalp and massages his fingers through her hair.

"It's okay," he repeats, whispering. "Nothing's going to happen to you. Everyone makes mistakes."

Despite what Olivia thinks, Grant has no intention of ever killing her. Grant has a twisted love for Olivia, but she sees herself as just another one of Grant's victims. She suspects that Grant will kill her once he has succeeded in completely owning her mind and body.

While still in his lap, Olivia looks to the floor and sees her white, pasty vomit spread across it. She closes her eyes, cursing time for her failure to swallow the pills quick enough. She wonders if she will get another opportunity. She wonders if Grant will develop enough trust in her to leave her alone again with the bottle of Oxycotin that he had presented to her earlier.

She prays for a miracle, not wanting to take other drastic measures to kill herself. Overdosing is an easy escape, but Olivia realizes that she will have to get creative if Grant chooses not to trust her again.

"C'mon," Grant says, cocking his head. "Let's go get you something to eat."

Olivia slowly brings her head up as Grant stands to his feet. He offers her his hand and she accepts it before he guides her out of the bedroom and through the hallway.

Once in the kitchen, Grant pulls a chair out from the table and motions for Olivia to sit. He walks over to the refrigerator, opening the door to the freezer and pulling out a frozen dinner. He takes it over to the microwave and slides it in before pressing the proper buttons.

He waits until it's done heating before removing it and approaching Olivia at the table. Grant sets it down in front of Olivia, peeling the plastic back and offering her a fork.

"Thank you," she whispers, knowing that her appetite is still nonexistent.

She looks forward to removing the bitter taste from her mouth, but she realizes that she will have to force herself to eat in order to keep Grant happy. Grant watches her as she takes the fork and stabs it into the chicken breast. She cuts a piece off before bringing it to her lips and biting into it. She chews slowly and forces herself to swallow.

Grant nods his head as he stares down at her.

"Don't you feel better already?" he asks.

Olivia finishes swallowing before answering.

"Yes," she responds in a soft tone. "Thank you."

"I should have thought first before snapping on you," Grant tells her. "Eating will improve things. All of this was just silly, wasn't it?" Grant asks, making light of Olivia's suicide attempt.

Olivia takes her fork to the green beans on her plate before bringing them to her mouth. She nods to Grant and visibly relaxes as she realizes that Grant's trust in her is already returning. She's not willing to live a moment longer than she has to without Elliot alive. Living without him is unbearable and she vows to herself to do everything she can to escape permanently from the hell she is living in.

As Grant's trust in her increases, so does Olivia's determination to take her own life. Grant smiles and caresses her left hand, unaware of Olivia's true intentions. She continues eating as she plans on doing anything that is needed to establish complete trust with her abuser.

_**Please review! Or you can send me a comment on twitter. I'm iSpyMH. THANKS FOR READING!**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**I KNOW RIGHT…. IT'S BEEN FOREVER! FINALLY! SORRY GUYS! MY OLD LAPTOP CRASHED AND I JUST BOUGHT A NEW ONE. BAD NEWS: ALL MY STUFF IS PERMENANTLY GONE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE BACKUP. GOOD NEWS: THIS NEW HP LAPTOP IS WAAAAAAAAY BETTER AND MORE, QUICKER EL3VEN UPDATES AHEAD! **_

_**THERE SEEMS TO BE A BIT OF CONFUSION ABOUT GRANT AND ELLIOT GETTING SHOT. GRANT IS NOT LYING TO OLIVIA ABOUT 'KILLING' ELLIOT… AS FAR AS HE KNOWS HE SHOT AND KILLED ELLIOT IN OLIVIA'S APARTMENT. JUST THOUGHT I'D CLEAR THAT UP BECAUSE A COUPLE PEOPLE ASKED, "WHEN IS OLIVIA GONNA FIGURE OUT THAT GRANT'S LYING?" WELL… HE'S NOT…TECHNICALLY. **_

Olivia and Grant remain seated at the table while Grant watches Olivia nibble on the food in front of her.

"You're gonna eat it _all_ this time," Grant demands, his tone threatening.

Olivia stares up at Grant before they both jump in unison, both startled by the loud doorbell. Olivia holds her breath and her eyes widen as she stares at Grant.

Grant puts his pointer finger to his lips and stares sternly into Olivia's eyes.

"Not a sound," he says before removing himself from his seat and cautiously walking toward the door.

He waits by the door, contemplating, wondering if the best decision is to ignore the rings. Olivia releases her breath before staring down at her food, not wanting to give off any indication that she is in danger to whoever is on the other side of the door. She doesn't want to give Grant any reason to be suspicious of her or the stranger on the other side.

Grant looks out the small window near the door before opening it. He can't stand the unknown. He realizes that the person outside the door could be a possible threat to him, but he'd rather take that risk than not knowing at all. He needs complete control of the situation, even knowing the consequences.

The door swings open and Grant sees a teenage boy in front of him. He has brown hair and glasses, dressed in a simple green T-shirt and blue jeans. Grant guesses that he is in his mid-teens, possibly fifteen or sixteen years of age.

"H- Hi," the boy stutters, surprised by the stranger at the door.

"Hello," Grant greets him. "Can I help you with something?"

The boy peeks in the house and sees Olivia in the far side of the room at the table, her head bowed.

"Is…Is Ms. Rudd around?" the boy asks, staring up at Grant.

Grant shakes his head and stares down at the white paper bag in the boy's hands.

"She's feeling ill today. I'm her son, George. How can I help you?" Grant asks.

The boy hesitantly lifts the bag and hands it to Grant.

"My name's Alex. I pick up Ms. Rudd's medication from the pharmacy down the street for her," the boy responds. "Will you give this to her?"

Grant accepts the bag and looks into it, noticing a prescription bottle inside.

"Sure thing. She's taking a nap right now, but as soon as she wakes up I'll hand these to her," Grant responds, smiling.

The boy slowly nods his head before taking another brief look inside and turning toward the sidewalk. He walks away and Grant shuts the door, throwing the bag of medication to the side.

Olivia stares in his direction and watches him as he stands in silence. Grant taps his fingers against his side nervously while staring at the table. Olivia holds her breath again, not knowing what to expect.

Grant begins walking toward her, shaking his head.

"Get up. Let's go…we're leaving," he orders her while looking around the room, paranoid.

"Grant, nothing happened," Olivia answers, protesting with her words but quickly removing herself from her seat.

"Shut up," Grant responds.

Olivia looks at his face and sees that Grant has already made up his mind. For whatever reason, Grant obviously feels threatened by the teen boy.

Grant walks over to the coat rack, grabbing a jacket and tossing it at Olivia.

"We're leaving… NOW!" he yells while Olivia puts the jacket on, her arms and hands shaking.

Grant secures his gun inside his waistband and heads to the door, slipping on his shoes. He walks over to Olivia and grabs her hand.

"Grant… I don't understand what's happening," Olivia whispers, panicked by Grant's unpredictable actions.

"I said shut up," Grant says under his breath before grabbing the keys off the table. "You don't need to understand anything."

Grant pulls on Olivia's hand and she stumbles behind him as he guides her to the door. He looks out the window and stares suspiciously both ways before opening the door.

He yanks Olivia outside and her stocking feet touch the cool ground. She takes in a deep breath and gasps. It is the first time in weeks that she's had fresh air. She squints as the bright sunlight invades her eyes. She feels as if she is in an alternate universe, too adjusted to the many days of prison she spent inside the house to react normally to the outdoors.

Her pace is too slow for Grant and he yanks her arm to hurry her along. Olivia stumbles again before they finally make it to the passenger side of the car. It is a dark red Ford Explorer with beige leather interior. It is the first time Olivia has fully looked at the car since her kidnap.

Grant lifts Olivia into the car before shutting her door and rushing to the other side. He starts the car and immediately drives off.

"Buckle up," he tells Olivia as they make their way down the residential street.

Olivia grabs the seatbelt and fastens it in before staring up at Grant. She can tell he is panicked as the white of his knuckles show from gripping hard onto the steering wheel.

Grant curses as he stares down and notices that the car is low on gas, the needle on empty.

"Shit, shit, shit," he says before pounding his fist into the wheel.

He continues driving and stares over at Olivia to see confusion on her face.

"I didn't trust that kid," Grant says, answering Olivia's earlier question. "He's on to us… He's definitely on to us."

"What made you think that?" Olivia asks, her tone soft.

"I don't know," Grant says. "I just didn't like the look in that kid's eyes… he knows something."

Olivia doesn't know if Grant is being paranoid or if he really did read the teen accurately enough to know that he knows or suspects something. The hope that is supposed to arise in Olivia doesn't. She knows that her life after any possible rescue will have the same amount of dread in it as she continues to torment herself and mourn over Elliot, her love and best friend.

"We're going to have to get creative," Grant says as he stares over at Olivia.

"Wh- What do you mean?" Olivia asks.

"No gas, no more money… nowhere to go," Grant replies.

Olivia looks out the window and recognizes that they're in the Queens borough of New York City as they pass the suburban-like homes.

"Anything that you need me to do, I'll do it," Olivia whispers. "Please don't bring anybody else into this mess."

"Yeah? And what can you do that will help us, huh? You're useless." Grant responds, looking over at her. "I have no other choice but to involve other people. It's how I survive."

Grant's body suddenly jolts when he hears police sirens approaching from behind. He looks in the rearview mirror and sees two police cars in the distance. He pulls over to the right, his heart pounding hard against his chest as he holds his breath. Two cop cars fly past them and continue down the street. He releases his breath, sighing in relief.

"Close call, huh?" he tells Olivia before pulling off from the side of the road.

He continues driving and the empty light flickers after he increases his speed. He nervously taps on the steering wheel and looks around for a nearby gas station. Olivia anxiously watches him as he continues driving onto a busier street.

Grant finally sees a gas station and pulls in, putting the car in park. He scans the station and his right leg shakes as he looks around. He looks over at Olivia who is closely watching him.

"We need money. Ya know… I'd pimp you out if I didn't love you so much," Grant says, half jokingly.

"How are we gonna do this?" he says to himself, searching around.

Grant looks at a pump ahead of them and sees a woman going into the gas station, her hands empty, leaving a young girl inside the backseat of the car. He stares over at Olivia and she shakes her head.

"Don't…Grant, you can't," Olivia tells him.

"What do you think, I'm some kind of monster? I'm not gonna touch the kid. Relax," Grant responds, opening the door and stepping out of the car.

Olivia nervously watches him as he approaches the car with the child in it.

"Don't hurt anybody," she whispers to herself.

Grant looks through the glass of the gas station from the car, and sees the woman heading to the back, toward the restrooms. He rushes to the driver's side of the car and pulls the door open. The child jumps in surprise and releases a small yelp. Grant pays the little girl no attention, digging in the woman's purse and pulling out her wallet.

He slams the door shut before the child has an opportunity to react and rushes back to the car. He hops in and Olivia exhales in relief when she realizes that Grant had not hurt the child. Grant immediately pulls off and exits the station.

"We'll find another," he says under his breath while looking in the side mirror to assure no one is tailing him.

They continue driving until Grant sees another station and pulls in.

"I don't have to tell you not to move, do I?" he asks Olivia.

Olivia stares at him, silent.

"Didn't think so," he says before exiting the car and walking over to pump the gas.

Olivia remains seated and begins thinking as she hears the nozzle click in place when Grant sticks it into the fuel hole.

_What's the worst thing that can happen? _She wonders as she imagines running off.

_Would he shoot and kill me out in the open? Run after me in public? _

She stares off into the distance, wondering if either of those possibilities, especially the first would be so terrible for her after all.

She snaps out of her daze when she hears the door open and sees Grant hopping back into the car.

"Problem solved," he says, as he reaches over to buckle his seat belt.

Olivia wonders if she let her last chance pass by. She attempts to muster up some strength and plan for a future escape, but doesn't have the energy and can't find anything good that would come out of a life away from Grant.

Without a family to care for and without Elliot to care for her, she thinks she has nothing left. She has her job, a job that involves dealing with crimes that made her sick to her stomach day after day. She is now a victim of those sickening crimes and knows that she will not be able to return to work, especially without Elliot there to support her.

_I have nothing…_

"What are you wonderin' about?" Grant asks, suspicious of Olivia as he sees her thinking.

Olivia looks over at him before speaking.

"When is this going to be over, Grant? How long do you plan to go on like this?" Olivia asks, practically whispering.

Grant slants his eyebrows and squints his eyes at her.

"For as long as it needs to. Forever. I'm not going anywhere… and neither are you," Grant responds.

Olivia drops her head and Grant continues driving.

After about 15 minutes of driving, Olivia feels the car turn and weakly lifts her head up, taking in the new neighborhood that they are entering. Her heart begins to pound hard as she looks around and realizes that the houses look more and more familiar to her. She knows this neighborhood.

Each house they pass, her heart pounds deeper into her chest. She looks from the homes and back at Grant and feels the car slowing as she turns and looks at the home that looks most familiar to her.

She holds her breath as they past the Stabler residence and Grant stops at a house two homes ahead of it. She looks at his face, trying to read him, trying to see if Grant has any knowledge that Elliot had lived there.

Is he doing this to torture her? Is he doing this so that she could have a constant reminder of Elliot's death, given that his home is only two houses away?

_No, it couldn't be. He wouldn't risk it. He wouldn't risk one of the detectives coming to pay Kathy and the kids a visit. Would he? _

She concentrates on Grant's face and concludes that Grant has no idea that Elliot lived there. Grant remains seated and stares into the empty, dark house they are parked at.

"We're going to go in… and get comfortable. Let's hope that a family doesn't live here. Hopefully, I can get by with just killing one or two people today," Grant says nonchalantly as he opens the door and exits the car.

He approaches Olivia's side of the car and opens the door, gently pulling her out.

"C'mon," he says, cocking his head toward the house.

Grant guides Olivia to the door and once they are to the door, he peeks through the window and into the dark house.

"What do ya think? Do you think these people are smart enough to have double locks?" he asks, staring at Olivia.

Olivia doesn't respond and looks toward the Stabler home, wondering how Elliot's kids are managing without him. It breaks her heart as she thinks about them.

Grant removes a credit card from the wallet he had stolen and slides it between the door and the frame, pushing on it. Grant hears a clicking sound and turns the knob, easily opening the door.

"Easy as pie," he says, walking in and pulling Olivia in after him. "Speaking of pie, are ya hungry?" he asks, whispering. "I didn't mean to interrupt your meal."

He removes his gun from his waistband, cautiously looking around the house. Grant searches the entire first floor before guiding Olivia upstairs to check the bedrooms and bathroom. They head back downstairs and Grant scans the room again.

"I don't see any family portraits, do you?" he asks. "I think we might've gotten lucky with this one."

Grant walks over to the wall and sees pictures, certificates and a high school diploma.

"I'm thinking they got a kid away at school…Maybe an undergrad? Mommy and daddy probably got divorced. I don't see any happy, cozy pictures of a family lying around. What do ya think?" Grant asks.

Olivia watches him as he walks along the wall.

"You're probably right," she answers.

"Clean house… beautiful interior too," Grant comments. "I'm thinking mommy stays here while the kid's away at college."

Olivia nods her head in agreement as she tries to predict Grant's next move.

"Let's hope you're right, Olivia. As much as you think I do, I actually don't enjoy killing people," he says, staring at her. "You can relax now… whoever they are they probably work a 9 to 5. We got a couple hours."

_**Alotta crazy, suspense-filled, angsty, wonderful, exciting stuff ahead! PLEASE REVIEW. Comments, praises, criticisms, questions and predictions all welcome! I especially love praises and predictions. They excite me. As always, thank you! You can comment here or on twitter. I'm iSpyMH. **_


	23. Chapter 23

_**It's been quite a while. I know. Work has been kicking me in the ass lately. Sorry. However, with no shows to watch until January, I'll have time to update before then. Thanks for writing me and yelling at me for updates. That helps me write over the weekends. I wrote this really late at night and I don't have Microsoft Word installed on my new laptop yet... so if there are any major spelling, typos, grammar erros, etc. please let me know so that I can fix them. I used WordPad and it doesn't even have a friggin correct spelling tool. Whatta pain! Anyway... Thanks & Enjoy!**_

Olivia looks at the clock on the wall.

_6:53 PM_

She looks over at Grant who impatiently waits as he peeks out the window every few minutes. She knows that there isn't a chance of convincing Grant not to hurt anyone else. He is past the point of no return and has many killings already under his belt.

Olivia begins to wonder as she nervously waits on the sofa beside Grant, digging her nails into the fabric as she watches his calmness disappear.

Both she and Grant suspect that whoever lives here would be home at 6 PM the latest. The more time that passes, the more nervous she and Grant become.

"Where are they?" Grant growls as he whips his head toward Olivia.

He stares her down, practically expecting her to know the answer. Grant's nervousness transforms into anger as he whips the curtains back and peeks out for the final time.

"I really don't know, Grant," Olivia answers in a soft tone.

Grant glares over at her as if she had planned this entire situation.

"Wha- What do you want me to say?" Olivia asks, afraid for her well-being as Grant's furious side quickly takes over him.

"You wanted this to happen," Grant tells her. "You love it when I'm freaked out."

"Maybe...maybe they're not coming home tonight," Olivia responds, attempting to direct Grant's anger away from her. "Whoever lives here could be out of town, Grant...or staying at a friend's home for the night."

Grant raises one eyebrow at her and Olivia swallows, hoping that Grant will accept what she is suggesting to him.

"You always know how to make me feel at ease," Grant begins as he sits closer to her. "That's why this works," he says, pointing his finger from his body to hers.

Olivia nods and watches him as his face muscles gradually relax. She knows that she prevented Grant from erupting and lashing out on her, but that his relaxed state is just as dangerous. She bows her head, wondering if Grant's "romantic" side would soon appear, nearly expecting it to.

Unsurprisingly, Olivia feels Grant's large hand on her thigh and shuts her eyes.

"Upstairs," he whispers in her ear.

Olivia sits frozen as she feels Grant remove his hand from her thigh. Although it had only been a day since Grant last violated her, Olivia was getting used to not being forced into bed. The day has been hectic and unpredictable, but Olivia can't help but to enjoy it as Grant has been on guard all day and has had no time to even think about sex.

"Nothing's changed," Grant reminds her. "You still do as I say... It doesn't matter where we are. You're still mine."

Grant fully removes himself from the sofa and looks down at her as she stares straight ahead. He doesn't have the patience to wait for her to comply with him. Grant sweeps his arm under her legs and lifts her from the sofa.

He heads toward the steps and begins making his way up, carrying her.

_**Location: Stabler Residence**_

"You can't just show up whenever the hell you feel like it, Elliot," Kathy argues as Elliot waits outside the door.

"I know that. I'm only here for the kids...that's all," Elliot responds, whispering. "I've been through a lot lately... but I have to see my kids. I'm their father, Kathy."

"_You've_ been through a lot?" Kathy says in a loud whisper. "What about us? You walk away from us and now you want to be a father? Cut the bullshit, Elliot."

"Kathy, we can't talk about this now. This isn't the time for that. I walked away from a marriage, not my family. I'll always love my kids and be a father for them."

"You could've fooled me," Kathy responds. "You haven't called in over a week... what kind of love is that?"

"I should've, but I couldn't. Don't you understand that? Olivia's out there with some sicko...I made a mistake by not checking up on the kids, but you have to understand why I didn't," Elliot tells her.

Kathy shakes her head and looks into Elliot's desperate eyes.

"Yeah... I understand that Olivia is more important than your family," Kathy responds. "It's been that way for years."

Elliot drops his head in frustration and hurt and looks slightly to the left.

"I know how hard it is," Kathy continues. "But there's just no excuse. Picking up a phone only takes a couple seconds."

Elliot begins to zone her out as his focus goes to a vehicle parked ahead on the side of the street.

"You can't just drop into our lives whenever you choose. Be there or don't be there. You can't have it both ways!"

"Shhhhh," Elliot responds as he stands up straight and squints at the vehicle.

"Elliot, do not shoosh me!" Kathy whispers. "I'm talking about our childrens' lives right now. Your children, Elliot!"

"Kathy, please... not right now," Elliot says as his heart begins to pound hard into his chest.

"Then when, Elliot? Tell me a time that's convenient for you," Kathy says in a sarcastic tone.

Elliot walks toward the edge of the porch and focuses his attention into the dark house ahead. Kathy watches him and steps out, looking ahead with him.

"What is it?" she asks as she sees his nervous sweat.

"Do me a favor," Elliot says, ignoring her question. "Lock all the doors and call the police."

Kathy watches his breathing shallow as his focus remains on the house ahead.

"Elliot, what's going on? You're scaring me," Kathy responds.

"Liv...Olivia," Elliot whispers. "She... I-I mean...the man that took her... that car matches the description."

Kathy looks at the car and then back at Elliot.

"You don't know for sure," Kathy says.

"Yes, I do," Elliot responds. "Let me through," he says, practically pushing past her.

"Elliot, what are you doing?" Kathy asks, panicked.

Elliot rushes upstairs and Kathy hears him marching around above her and a cabinet opening. He returns with a gun in his right hand, heading toward the front door. Kathy jumps in front of him, blocking his path.

"Elliot, what are you doing?" she repeats. "You can't do this. You'll get hurt. Let's just call the police."

"I am the police," Elliot tells her. "And that's my partner over there...I know it. I'm going over there," he says, gently moving Kathy to the side.

"Elliot, you're not thinking. Just wait!" Kathy yells. "You don't know what kind of danger you're walking into... or if Olivia is even over there at all. Why would she be here?"

"I don't know," Elliot answers. "I'm about to find out. Call the cops," Elliot says before making a quick exit.

_**3 minutes later**_

"Stop acting all shy. This certainly isn't our first time," Grant says as he tugs on Olivia's pants.

Olivia lies on her back and tries to avoid Grant's eyes as he hovers over her.

"I'm getting sick of this," Grant growls. "You're pissing me off. Do you really want to make me angry right now... because I can make that happen."

"Let's just wait," Olivia says in a soft cry. "Please, Grant... just give me a minute."

Olivia tries to compose herself as she faces her reality once again.

"That begging shit is going to stop now. I thought we were past that," Grant says harshly.

Olivia closes her eyes as she feels Grant suck on her bottom lip.

"We are past it. I'll do whatever you say, Grant... please... just a minute," Olivia cries.

Grant grins as he stares down at her. As much as he is angered by her unwillingness to submit, he is also aroused by it. Olivia knows that she is not helping herself by denying Grant, but she can't resist fighting him, especially after going several hours without being violated by him.

Grant roughly grabs her face and tightens his grip around her cheeks, leaving red marks on her sensitive skin. He snakes his arm down her pants and watches her wince as he grabs between her legs.

"I don't know why you keep choosing to do this. You love it when I'm rough with you, don't you?" he asks in a menacing tone.

Olivia squeezes her eyes tighter and tears escape as she bites back her screams, feeling Grant's fingers slowly enter her.

Olivia feels Grant's motions cease and releases a small yelp when she hears the click of a gun.

"Don- Don't," she protests, but inside secretly wishing for death.

"Get off her."

She hears another voice.

"Now."

Olivia opens her eyes and goes weak as she sees Elliot standing at the side of the bed with the gun to Grant's temple. Elliot doesn't wait for Grant to move off of her and pistol whips him across the face, causing him to roll to the opposite side of the bed.

Olivia grabs onto her chest and struggles to sit up as she watches the scene before her.

"You're dead," she hears Elliot say.

Her breathing is labored and she opens her mouth to say Elliot's name, but no words come out.

_This isn't happening_, she thinks. _This is a dream_.

"Don't kill me," she hears Grant say as Elliot points the gun at him.

Elliot yanks Grant off the bed and he falls to the floor.

"Arrest me," Grant begs. "I deserve to be locked away forever... I hurt her."

Olivia finally gains her strength back and speaks.

"El- Elliot?" she calls his name, attempting to separate her dreams from reality.

Elliot turns toward her and keeps his gun on Grant as he flinches on the floor.

"I'm here," he tells Olivia in a gentle tone. "You're going to be okay... You're okay now."

Olivia nearly faints as she hears Elliot's reassuring words.

"You're alive," Olivia whispers.

Elliot turns his focus on Grant as he walks closer to him.

"You coward... you told her I was dead?" Elliot says as he squeezes his gun.

It took everything in him not to kill Grant on the spot. He looks down at Grant's face and notices that Grant is just as surprised as Olivia is.

"You thought you killed me, didn't you? You pathetic bastard," Elliot tells him.

"You're right," Grant says. "I am pathetic... I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't mean to hurt her... I'm sick."

Grant's words only anger Elliot more.

"Elliot," Olivia repeats again, unable to say anything more.

"Please, arrest me," Grant begs again. "I deserve it."

Elliot faces Olivia and sees tears of pain in her eyes. He looks at her cheeks and sees the red marks that Grant left on her face.

"Olivia, I'm gonna kill him," Elliot tells her, whispering.

Olivia slowly nods her head and releases tears as she stares over at Elliot.

"I know I hurt her," Grant cries. "I'm sorry."

Olivia turns toward Grant who is still lying on the floor. She doesn't recognize this voice. Grant's voice is cruel and sadistic. This man's voice is weak and full of fear.

Elliot looks over at the covers pulled back on the bed and then looks down at Grant's unzipped and unbuckled pants.

"You're not sorry," Elliot says as he steps even closer.

"I am," Grant persists. "Olivia, don't let him kill me. I let you live because I love you. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"You better beg," Elliot tells him. "Because your life is now in her hands. How's it feel?"

The room goes silent and the only noises heard are Grant's shallow breaths in the background.

"Olivia... be the better person. I'm trash...I'm scum. Don't be like me, Olivia. Don't let him kill me."

Elliot looks over at Olivia and stares deeply into her eyes. Olivia gives him a short nod and hears two shots fired shortly after.

Grant doesn't move as the bullets immediately kill him.

Olivia's eyes widen and Elliot walks to her side of the bed.

"It's over," he reassures her. "Grant's gone."

Olivia shakes her head as she feels Elliot's hand on her shoulder.

"You're alive...Elliot, you're alive," Olivia whispers.

"And so are you," Elliot responds.

Olivia's tears trail down her face as she still tries to adjust to her new reality. It all happened so quickly. Her abuser is now lying in his own pool of blood on the floor and the man who she loves and assumed dead is now standing beside her.

"I love you," she hears Elliot say.

She never thought she would hear those words coming from his mouth again. She parts her lips to speak, but Elliot stops her.

"Shhh, don't say anything. I know, Olivia," Elliot whispers as he gently rubs her back. "I know."

Elliot can tell she is in shock. Olivia has a million words to say, but is unable to utter any of them as she stares into Elliot's light blue eyes.

_This is a dream_, she thinks again.

**WHAT? IS THIS THE END! No, it's not the end, boys and girls. PLEASE REVIEW for more.**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Hey look I'm updating quicker again… ;) **_

"You doing alright?" Elliot asks as he pulls a chair close to Olivia's hospital bed.

Olivia nods her head, but can't find her words again as Elliot stares into her eyes.

"I know this is going to take some getting used to… but Grant's gone, Liv…forever," Elliot whispers as he extends his hand out to caress her arm.

He winces slightly as his skin painfully stretches, and he feels the bullet wound that Grant had given him nearly two weeks ago.

Olivia looks down at his hand. She feels his palm on her skin and knows that there isn't a chance that this is only her imagination.

Her mind can't be playing tricks on her this well. It is all too vivid. Elliot is here, talking to her with his gentle voice and placing his soft, warm hands on her skin. It feels real, but she had convinced herself over a week ago that her life as she knew it was over; that Elliot was dead and that she would never stare into his eyes again.

"El… I gave up. I thought you were gone so I just didn't care anymore…I didn't care about myself," Olivia whispers, her voice cracking as she speaks.

"I know," Elliot responds. "And now you can. You have a long life to live and this is just one of the steps in your healing process. You're going to make it, Liv. You're strong…and I'm going to be there for you every step of the way."

Guilt quickly takes over Olivia and her heart aches from hearing Elliot's last words.

"You can't… I can't put you through this anymore. I'm screwed up now, Elliot, even more than I was before. Please don't wait around for me to get better...because it might not even happen," Olivia whispers to him. "Live your life."

Elliot shakes his head and tears threaten to escape as he stares into Olivia's eyes, confused.

"Please, don't talk like that, Liv… you are my life. You're such a huge part of my life," Elliot tells her. "It hurts to think that you would ever think that I would leave your side. I love you too much."

Olivia knows that it is more than Elliot's protective nature that causes him to stay by her side. She knows Elliot loves her, but feels selfish. She wants Elliot happy and can't imagine him being completely happy while trying to make a relationship work with someone who is as broken and damaged as she is.

"I gotta go now. I'll be back so fast that you won't even miss me," Elliot says, snapping her away from her thoughts.

"IAB?" Olivia asks with a look of panic on her face.

"Yeah," Elliot answers, standing to his feet and placing a gentle kiss onto her forehead.

"Wh- What are you gonna tell them?" Olivia asks, stuttering.

"The truth," Elliot responds. "Grant lunged at me and I had to protect myself…and protect you."

Olivia looks at him, puzzled by his version of the truth, but nods her head in understanding. She knows that Elliot will do anything to make her feel safe. He is her protector, and she will do anything to protect him in return.

"They're going to question me eventually," Olivia speaks quietly. "What should I say?"

Elliot shrugs his shoulders and cracks a tiny smile.

"What do you mean? You didn't see a thing. What good would you be to IAB? You heard the gun shots, but that's it," Elliot responds.

Olivia slants one eyebrow at him.

"The gunshots are what woke you up from your sleep, right?" Elliot asks.

Olivia nods her head again, confirming that she now understands Elliot's game plan.

"Good… then you have absolutely nothing to worry about," Elliot says.

Elliot places another gentle kiss on her forehead before exiting the room.

_**1 week later **_

Elliot opens Olivia's apartment door with a large brown bag full of groceries in his left arm.

"Man, I hate shopping… the things I do for you," he jokes while walking over to her kitchen counter and setting the bags down.

Olivia removes herself from the sofa and walks over to the counter where Elliot is.

"The things you do for me, huh?" she says. "I'm not the one with the appetite."

Elliot looks down at her, surprised by how relaxed she seems. He concentrates on her face and wonders if his eyes are deceiving him because he swears he sees her lips slighly curling, forming what appears to be a small smile.

"You okay?" Elliot asks with a look of concern on his face.

Olivia looks at him and nods her head.

"Yeah… why wouldn't I be?"

Elliot furrows his eyebrows and turns back toward the brown bag, removing the groceries and placing them on the counter.

_Because you've been through a hell of a lot_, he thinks to himself.

He knows that she doesn't need any reminders of what she's been through so he keeps quiet.

"Elliot, I'm fine," Olivia says when she notices the look of concern on his face.

Elliot can't tell if she is pretending to be fine for his sake or if she actually believes that she is fine. Either way, he doesn't like it. He doesn't want her acting for him or convincing herself that she's fully recovered in only a week.

He knows from experience that it takes time to recover. He has never come across victims who have been through an experience as traumatic as Olivia's, describing themselves as "fine."

_Maybe she's stronger than most_, he tries to convince himself.

Elliot watches as Olivia makes her way over to the sofa. He grabs a soda from the paper bag and heads to the sofa to sit beside her.

"I'm glad you're okay," he says though inside he is worried about her.

"I really am," Olivia says, sighing.

She shocks Elliot once again and he nearly jumps when she leans back, placing her head on his shoulder. He waits a moment before bringing his hand to her face and cupping her cheek.

"Liv, you don't need to make me happy or try to prove anything to me. The fact that you're alive is the only happiness I need right now," Elliot tells her.

"I know," Olivia says softly. "Why are you bringing this up anyway? What's got you thinkin' about happiness?"

Elliot doesn't respond. It is this very moment that is causing him to think about her forcing herself to make him happy. He wonders if Olivia realizes this or if she is only pretending not to.

"Movie?" Elliot suggests, holding up a DVD rental he bought while on his grocery run.

"Sure," Olivia answers, smiling slightly.

Olivia seems fine with everything. Elliot can't help but to wonder why she isn't the least bit picky or curious about his movie choice. She doesn't even question it.

_Is she in another world right now or is she actually fine as she claims to be? _he wonders.

"I rented 'The Other Guys'… I thought you would enjoy a little humor," Elliot says.

"Mm-hm," Olivia mumbles, resting her head back against the sofa.

Elliot sees that she is too relaxed and zoned out to care. He could have said anything and she would have been okay with it.

He tests her.

"Oh, and I also rented 'Dora Explores the North Pole'. I know how much you enjoy those kiddy shows," Elliot continues.

"Mm-hm," Olivia repeats, mumbling again. "Thanks, El."

Elliot looks in her direction, disappointed that his suspicions about Olivia are true. She _is_ in her own world. He figures it is just easier for her to block everything and everyone out, but knows her method is unhealthy and hinders any possible healing process that she may go thorugh.

"I'll be back," Elliot says, pushing himself from off the sofa.

Olivia feels the sofa cushion moving and stares up at Elliot.

"Where are you going?" she asks him.

"To look for my pills. I'm developing a headache and my chest is killin' me," he says, placing his hand over the right side of his wounded chest.

"You gonna be alright?" Olivia asks in a sympathetic tone, concerned when she notices him wincing in pain.

"I'll be fine... I just need to take something. Maybe even just an Asprin will help. I'll be right back," Elliot says, heading for the hallway.

Elliot walks into the bathroom and opens the glass doors to the cabinet above the sink.

He grabs his medication and turns on the faucet. He opens the bottle and furrows both eyebrows when he looks inside. He had only taken a few of his Vicodin pills ever since they were prescribed to him for his gun shot wounds over a week ago.

"No," he whispers while looking inside the bottle, realizing that several of his pills are missing.

He looks at himself in the mirror and shakes his head in disbelief.

_She wouldn't_, he thinks to himself. _There has to be some sort of explanation for this. There's gotta be._

He drops a pill into his hand and wonders if he is imagining things.

_Did I miscount the pills before? Did the pharmacist make a mistake when filling the bottle? _

He wants to believe either of those things, but can't ignore the fact that Olivia seems oddly calm lately.

_Why would she do this? _he asks himself._ Is the pain that unbearable that she feels the need to drug herself?_

He looks inside the bottle again and doesn't need to do any math in his head to figure out that even if she is taking pills for body aches and pains that she is still surpassing the recommended dosage.

Elliot's eyes burn with tears when he finally accepts the truth. Olivia has been coping through prescription drugs.

Elliot knows that Olivia's recovering process would not be easy, but he never imagined they would run into an issue like this.

_What triggered this? _

Olivia never had issues with prescription drugs before.

He looks up at Olivia's prescribed medication and grabs her bottle of pills that the doctors had subscribed for her phycical pain. Her pill level is also lower than it should be, but Elliot wonders if her medication is just not strong enough for her; if she is seeking something stronger to fulfill her high.

Elliot holds onto his bottle and closes the door to the cabinet. He has to confront her.

While walking down the hallway he wonders what the best way to talk to her is. He comes around the corner and approaches the sofa. Olivia sees the bottle of pills in his hand and immediatley stares up into his eyes.

Elliot can tell that she is shocked and had forgotten about the pills altogether. When he had said that he needed his medication, Olivia thought nothing of it. Elliot figures that she had forgotten or simply assumed that he wouldn't be going back into his pills.

Olivia swallows hard and looks away from him, focusing her attention on the blank television screen in front of her. Elliot walks to the sofa and sits beside her with the pills in his hand.

_**END OF THIS CHAPTER. THIS SCENE WILL BE CONTINUED VERY SOON. WHAT DO YOU THINK? PLEEEASE REVIEW. **_


	25. Chapter 25

_**250 reviews! I don't know why I'm updating a lot faster all of a sudden... I just love writing after reading you awesome people's reviews... you guys make me happy.**_

_Olivia swallows hard and looks away from him, focusing her attention on the blank television screen in front of her. Elliot walks to the sofa and sits beside her with the pills in his hand. _

Elliot says nothing at first and his silence only makes Olivia more nervous. She begins playing with her fingers, fidgeting as they sit in silence. Making her uncomfortable isn't his intention. Discomfort is the last thing he wants her to feel. However, he is hesitant to speak while thinking of the right words to say to her.

Elliot turns his head toward Olivia and she feels his eyes all over her.

The weight of his gaze is heavy on her and she feels suffocated, no longer able to take the awkward silence.

"What?" she asks quietly.

Elliot doesn't want to seem too aggressive or too judgmental. He wants Olivia to know that he cares deeply for her and that she doesn't need to resort to drugs to resolve her issues or to mask her pain.

_What should I say to her? _

"You feelin' okay?" Elliot asks, staring her way.

Olivia avoids his gaze initially, but Elliot keeps staring until she finally gives up her stubborn fight, their eyes meeting as she looks up at him.

He hadn't noticed before, but when looking at Olivia for a second time he sees the enlargement in her pupils, and wonders how he hadn't caught that the first time.

Olivia instantly pleads with him before Elliot even has the opportunity to question her about his missing pills.

"Elliot, please… don't do this… just let it go," Olivia whispers, staring into his eyes.

"Don't do what?" Elliot asks in a gentle tone.

"Just drop it," Olivia responds, wanting to avoid the conversation altogether. "I know I made a mistake."

"Liv, I'm worried about you," Elliot tells her. "Why...why'd ya do this?" he asks, lifting the pill bottle.

Olivia shakes her head before looking down into her lap.

"I don't know... it was stupid," she responds.

Elliot looks at her and he knows Olivia regrets it, but worries about the dangerous choices she might make later on. Is his being aware of her problem enough to prevent the same thing from happening again?

"Liv, I don't want you feeling like you have to do this to lessen your pain. There are other ways... like talking. Why didn't you just come to me?" Elliot asks.

"Elliot, I can't talk about that yet. I'm not ready," Olivia says. "And I don't want to talk about _this_ either. It's over... it won't happen again."

Olivia looks up at Elliot, her eyes glossy and begging for Elliot to drop the subject. Her eyes are similar to a lost puppy dog's as she lifts her head to face him.

Elliot realizes that this is a painful conversation for her, but he loves and cares for her too much to simply let it go and pretend that it never happened.

"I don't understand... you've never done anything like this before. What happened, Liv? Was the pain too much?" Elliot asks.

Olivia nods her head and looks away.

"Yeah... I'm in a lot of pain, Elliot, I really am. I tried my medication and it just doesn't help me. My side hurts, my arms hurt... everything hurts," Olivia says while holding onto her forearm.

Elliot looks at her, confused. That's not the type of _pain _he is referring too, and he wonders if he just gave Olivia an excuse to abuse prescription drugs.

He doesn't doubt for a second that Olivia is in physical pain. He sees by the bruises on her body that she is hurting. Grant had obviously beat her, and more than once. However, Elliot knows that her bruises are not the reason for her sneaking into his pill bottle and exceeding the recommended dosage.

"I'm sorry. I should have asked you first. They're your pills," Olivia says, whispering.

Elliot can see that this conversation is switching directions, and quickly. It had begun with the issue of Olivia abusing the pills and is turning into the issue of asking for permission to use or take Elliot's things.

"Liv, I don't care about that. You know I'd let you have anything of mine," Elliot tells her. "I'm just worried about you. You can't take pills to forget your problems. That's not the answer."

"I didn't," Olivia responds. "I just told you that it was for the pain."

Elliot looks at her and shakes his head, disappointed and hurt by her lie. She had obviously forgotten that only moments ago she told him that it was all a mistake.

"Then what was 'stupid', Liv?" Elliot asks her. "What did you mean by that?"

Olivia takes a short pause, and Elliot knows that she is searching for another lie.

"I meant it was stupid for me to go in your pills without asking you," Olivia answers.

Elliot can't help but to be impressed with her clever and quick response, but he is far more hurt that she is lying to him and refusing to admit the true reason for taking his pills.

"How many did you take?" Elliot asks her. He knows that he can not let her get away with this lie and that going along with her lies will please her, but put her in greater danger. "There's a lot of pills missing here, Liv."

"I don't know," Olivia answers. "I wasn't really counting. I was hurting so I just took some. I'll be more careful next time, okay?" she says in attempt to quickly bring the conversation to an end.

"Liv, what you're doing is dangerous-" Elliot says before he's interrupted by Olivia moving off the sofa.

Olivia quickly stands to her feet. She feels trapped and feels she needs to distance herself from Elliot. She walks over to the kitchen, but Elliot follows close behind her.

"Olivia, just tell me the truth... please," Elliot says as Olivia avoids his gaze once again.

"Please stop lecturing and interrogating me, Elliot. I already told you the truth," Olivia says, searching through the brown bag on the counter and pretending to be interested in the items inside.

Elliot gently grabs her hand, and her searching ceases. He extends his hand out and turns her chin so that she is facing him.

"Olivia, please... I love you. I'm not going to think any less of you, but I need to know. We tell each other everything, Liv. Don't hide this from me, please," Elliot pleads with her.

Olivia stares into his eyes and her heart sinks when she sees that he is genuinelely hurt by her refusal to open up to him.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, nearly crying.

"It's okay, Liv," Elliot tells her. "Just tell me what happened? What made you do this?"

Olivia shrugs her shoulders and slowly shakes her head.

"I don't know... it's just easier," Olivia admits.

Elliot furrows both eyebrows and sets the bottle of pills on the kitchen counter.

"How many days have you been doing this?" Elliot asks her, his concern for her evident on his face and in his voice.

Elliot doesn't know what response he would prefer to hear. If she started taking them the first or second day they arrived back at her apartment, then that would imply that she is already making a habit of abusing the pills.

If she started taking them today or a couple days prior to this day, then that would imply that she is trying to seriously hurt herself or even worse, kill herself. Several of his pills are missing and Elliot becomes sick to his stomach when he considers the second possibility.

"I don't know," Olivia repeats. "Ten days... maybe 11."

Elliot doesn't need to think hard to realize that what she is telling him isn't adding up.

"Liv, you haven't even been back that many days," Elliot says to her.

Olivia looks up at him with watery eyes, nodding her head.

"I know," she answers before making her way back over to the sofa.

Elliot watches her, puzzled. He hesitates from saying anything to her until he realizes what Olivia had revealed to him; she had been abusing pills while being a prisoner of Grant's.

Elliot's bottom jaw drops as he begins to imagine the events that Olivia experienced.

Elliot walks to the sofa and sits beside her once again. He places his hand on Olivia's thigh and clinches his fist using the opposite hand.

His anger toward Grant is just as strong despite the fact that Grant is dead, dead due to bullets from Elliot's own gun.

Elliot wonders if Olivia searched the house she had been in for pills or if Grant used the pills to tame and manipulate her. He's afraid to ask, and he knows Olivia is not ready to talk about her fresh yet painful memories.

Elliot doesn't even need to ask. Olivia opens her mouth to speak and slowly shares a part of the hell she experienced while with Grant.

"Grant made me take them. He forced me. He said it would relax me and he was right... it did. Every other pill after that was my choice," Olivia tells him without being too descriptive.

"I don't blame you," Elliot says. "The pain was too much to handle. I know it was unbearable, Olivia. Any person in that situation would have done the same thing... but Grant's gone now, Liv. You can make it through without them. Don't let him maintain control over you."

Olivia nods her head.

_It is easier said than done_, she thinks.

"I know," she speaks softly to him. "I know he's dead and I know that you're here for me. I'm sorry... I was just trying to feel somewhat normal again."

Olivia is haunted by her own thoughts and memories, but doesn't mention the constant nightmares she's experiencing to Elliot because she doesn't want him any more worried for her than he already is.

The truth is, Grant terrifies her even in death. When under the influence of the powerful medication, she spaces out, her memories of Grant becoming less and less with the more pills she consumes.

She loves Elliot, but can't imagine simply talking to him having the same effect as the pills do when her mind is racing and when she hears Grant's voice in her head.

She has told victims in the past that talking helps, but now doesn't understand how she could ever give such advice.

"Let's get you into bed," Elliot says, guiding her to her room. "We'll save the movie for another night."

Olivia doesn't know what she regrets more: taking Elliot's pills or not doing anything to cover up the fact that she took them. The last thing she wants is Elliot constantly worrying for her.

She wants everything back to normal, and the fact that Elliot will now want to watch her every move is far from normal.

She knows that Elliot will now be her babysitter until he can trust her again. She needs to establish that trust.

_Should I be trusted? _she wonders as she thinks about the effect that the pills have on her.

MORE DRAMA TO COME SOON. LEMME KNOW WHAT YA THINK. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. :)


	26. Chapter 26

_**BACK ALREADY! HERE'S AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR YA! ENJOY, LADIES (AND GENTLEMEN?)**_

_**The following day**_

Olivia hears a man's voice in the distance and opens her eyes.

Her blanket is pulled over her head and she sees the morning light shinning through the pores of the fabric, but nothing else.

Olivia pulls the blanket away from her face and squints as she concentrates on the voice. She realizes that the sound is coming from her living room television, and sits up, remembering that Elliot is staying in her apartment with her.

She climbs out of the bed and heads for her bathroom. She walks into the bathroom and looks into the mirror in front of her.

Olivia combs her fingers through her hair before examining her face and neck. She sighs when she sees the dark purple bruises on her skin, covering the right side of her neck and both cheeks.

Olivia winces as she brings her hand to her cheek and glides her fingers along her bruise.

It is difficult for her to forget that she is a victim with the bruises on her body there as a constant reminder for her.

She opens the cabinet to pull her toothbrush out and shakes her head at what she sees.

Elliot had not returned his pill bottle to the medicine cabinet and even worse, Elliot had gone into Olivia's medication, leaving enough pills to last Olivia for one day.

She grabs her pill bottle and closes the cabinet, practically slamming it before walking out into the living room to see Elliot sitting on the sofa with the remote.

He turns his head toward her.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asks her.

"What is this?" she asks, ignoring his question and holding the pill bottle up for Elliot to see.

"Your medication," Elliot responds, keeping his tone calm.

"I know that. Why are there pills missing, Elliot?" Olivia asks him.

Elliot removes himself from the sofa and walks toward her.

"Keep calm, Liv. I'm only doing this for you. There should be enough in there to last you for today. I'll put more in there for tomorrow when the night is up," Elliot tells her.

Olivia's jaw drops and she lowers the hand holding the pill bottle to her side. She doesn't speak right away, not knowing what to say, angry that Elliot is already choosing to go to these extremes.

"Elliot... I'm not a child," Olivia tells him.

"I know you aren't," Elliot says while walking closer to her.

"Then why'd you do this? I told you that it was a mistake... I don't need you babysitting me now and hiding my own medication from me," Olivia says, nearly snapping.

"C'mon, Liv... this isn't hurting anyone. I'm only doing this to protect you," Elliot responds in a gentle tone.

Olivia shakes her head at him.

"I don't need protection from this. Elliot, I told you that it wouldn't happen again. If you don't believe me or trust me, then maybe you shouldn't be here," Olivia tells him, walking to the counter and slamming the pill bottle down.

"Olivia, you don't need to be tempted. I'm trying to make it easier for you," Elliot responds to her.

"I'm not tempted," Olivia snaps. "It was a MISTAKE. Stop treating me like an addict."

Olivia is furious. She doesn't want Elliot thinking of her as weak and she shakes her head again when she recalls the conversation they had the previous night.

"Elliot, you said you wouldn't think any less of me. I knew I shouldn't have told you a damn thing," she says to him. "I don't want this. I can't live with you watching me like this... controlling what I do."

Elliot knows that his only reason for limiting her pill dosage is to protect her, not control her. He disagrees with her in his mind, but sees that he is getting dangerously close to being asked to leave.

He can't have that. He can't leave Olivia alone knowing that she is struggling with this issue and knowing that she is still fragile and hurt.

"I'm sorry, Liv... I didn't mean to make you upset. I only try to do what's best for you," Elliot responds. "If you're telling me that it's no longer an issue for you, then I have to believe that. I trust you, Olivia."

Olivia opens her mouth to speak to Elliot, but she says nothing, shocked by how quickly he gave in. She is immediately thrown off by his apology, and had fully been expecting to argue with him.

"I'll put them back," Elliot tells her in a calm manner. "If you're telling me that it was all a mistake and that it won't happen again, then I'll put them back...okay?"

Olivia nods her head slowly.

"Good... thank you," she responds in a soft tone. "I'm sorry for snapping."

Elliot brings his hand to hers, gently grabbing it.

"It's okay. I understand why you got upset. It's over," he tells her. "I don't think any different of you. I don't want you thinking that. I meant what I said."

"Thank you," Olivia repeats as Elliot places a kiss on her forehead.

Elliot walks over to her coat closet and opens the door.

"Wh- Where are you going?" Olivia asks him.

"I'll be back. I need to go take care of a couple things," Elliot says, putting his hand through the other arm of his coat. "You need anything while I'm out?"

"No... thanks," Olivia says while she watches him.

Elliot digs his hand into his coat pocket and removes two medicine bottles. One bottle belonging to him and the other bottle labeled Tylenol, but containing Olivia's pills. Olivia guesses that the bottle was nearly empty so Elliot added her pills to it as a temporary place to keep them.

"Here ya go," Elliot says, placing the bottles on the kitchen counter. "I should have trusted you."

Olivia nods her head again and watches Elliot as he sets them down.

Elliot embraces Olivia, wrapping his strong arms around her and placing a soft kiss on the top of her head before exiting her apartment.

Olivia stands there, staring at the medication and nearly wishing that the short argument would have gone in Elliot's favor.

_**Fin's car**_

Fin unlocks the door when he hears a knock on the passenger side window. He turns to face Elliot as Elliot opens the door and lowers himself into the seat.

"What's the problem?" Fin asks him, concerned. "What couldn't be said over the phone?"

"It's Liv," Elliot instantly admits to him. "I needed advice from another person. I don't know what to do. I can't ask the Cap'n because he'll intervene. I know Olivia too well...she'll end up shutting everybody out if she finds out that I talked to anyone."

Fin nods his head in understanding.

"What is it? Everything alright?" Fin asks him.

"She went in my Vicodin pills," Elliot tells him. "I found several of them missing."

Fin looks at him, puzzled. He wonders why Elliot would be this upset by that.

"Does she have her own?" Fin asks him. "Maybe she was just hurtin', man."

Elliot shakes his head at him.

"Not hurting in the way you think, Fin. She's been abusin' them. She's not taking them for the right reasons."

Fin stares at Elliot in shock. He is just as surprised by this as Elliot had been when he first opened the medicine cabinet and discovered that his pills had gone missing.

"Did you talk to her about it?" Fin asks him.

"Yeah... of course," Elliot responds. "She told me that it was a mistake and that it wouldn't happen again. Can I believe that? I'm just worried about her, Fin."

"If she were an addict, no, you shouldn't believe it. She would need help that you couldn't provide for her," Fin tells him.

"She's not an addict," Elliot responds. "But I don't want to wait around and do nothing while she becomes an addict. I want to stop her before something like that happens. That's why I hid the pills this morning. I didn't want her to be tempted."

Fin brings his palm to his forehead after hearing Elliot admit that. He knows Olivia well and guesses that Elliot's method didn't go over smoothly.

"Yeah? What'd she do when you did that?" Fin asks him.

"She snapped... she was angry," Elliot says, whispering. "I knew that might happen, but I didn't know what else to do."

Fin remains quiet and thinks. He knows that he would have done the same thing if he were Elliot, but he doesn't admit that.

"Man... that's tough," he says. "All you can do is watch her closely, Elliot. She's an adult. Olivia loves being independent and I can't imagine her being okay with you limiting her pills like that. Just keep your eye on her, man. She cares for you too much to abuse drugs right in front of you. She knows it hurts you."

Elliot nods his head. He had planned on watching her closely, but knows that he won't be able to remain by her side twenty-four hours of each day. Even now, when he is away from Olivia he worries.

_**Olivia's Apartment**_

Olivia sits at her kitchen counter, staring at the refrigerator, dazed.

_"Do you know what I risked by going out and getting this food for you? Ungrateful bitch," _she hears Grant's voice.

Even doing something as simple as sitting in the kitchen brings back painful memories.

_"I'm sorry. I'm trying... I was just about to eat it," Olivia whispers weakly to him._

_Grant shakes his head and slams the refrigerator door closed._

_"I don't wanna hear it. It's too late for that. You always do this, Olivia... you refuse to do as I say and then you apologize," he tells her. "I'm gonna teach you... you're going to learn to do right the first time."_

_Olivia picks up her spoon, hoping that if Grant sees her eating that he will realize that she is making an effort._

_She scoops up some mashed potatoes from the plate and brings the spoon to her mouth, forcing the food down her throat._

_"What are you doing?" Grant asks in a menacing tone._

_Olivia swallows and shakes her head, pleading with him._

_"I'm trying. I'm sorry... I'm not hungry, but I'll eat. I'll eat it all."_

_Grant walks over to the table and stares down at her._

_"You don't get to eat now. You let your chance go by," he tells her._

_Olivia sets the spoon down with her shaky hand, bracing herself for another one of Grant's outbursts._

_"I was going to eat it. You didn't give me a chance," she whispers to him._

_Grant slants his eyebrow and stares down at her while Olivia looks down at her plate._

_"What did you just say? Did you just accuse me of something?" he asks in a threatening tone._

_Olivia shakes her head, nearly cursing under her breath as she wishes she could rewind time and take back her words._

_"That's not what I meant," she says, her voice shaking._

_Without warning, Grant reaches his hand down, violently pulling Olivia's hair, yanking Olivia from her seat._

_"Yeah? That's not what you meant?" he says, gripping hard onto her hair and shoving her in the direction of the refrigerator._

_"Sorry," Olivia says, barely audible as Grant shoves her body forward._

_Grant opens the refrigerator with an intention to shove Olivia into the open door._

_He follows through, grabbing her and pushing her into the shelves of the door. Olivia's body slams hard into the inside of the door and she drops to the floor, condiments falling on top of her and on the floor as she lands._

_"Please... " is all she can say as she wraps her arms around her head and curls her body._

_She is weak and the strong medication that is flowing through her veins isn't helping in her defense._

"She's been through so much, Elliot" Fin tells him. "It's almost expected for her to slip up and do something like this."

Elliot nods his head as he listens to Fin speak.

"You know her better than anyone. Just keep your eye on her. You'll know when she's high and when she's not... if it becomes a problem...if you see that nothing's changing, then you know what to do," Fin continues. "Get her help. Until then, just do your best. You can't force her to do anything. Be her support... that's really all you can do without getting others involved."

_"Please," Grant mocks her._

_Olivia continues to lay on the floor. The buzz she had been feeling only moments ago is gone. The pain is too unbearable._

_"Get up!" Grant yells, kicking her in the side._

_Olivia remains on the floor and begins sobbing._

_"I-I can't," she tells him._

_She knows that she is too dizzy to stand and also knows that once up, Grant will only knock her back down to the floor._

_Even though Grant is unpredictable most times, she at least knows that much._

_"NOW!" Grant yells._

_Grant kicks her again, but watches his contact._

_He plans on keeping Olivia for a long time, and doesn't want her breaking any bones. That will only cause more problems for him._

_"I'm sick of you," he says while reaching his hand into the refrigerator and shoving whatever he can off the middle shelf and onto Olivia._

_Olivia cries out loudly as the glass container of relish comes crashing down on her hand._

_She sits up, pushing her back to the wall and she brings her arms up to avoid being hit in the face by Grant._

_"It won't happen again," she sobs. "I'll eat faster next time. Please, Grant... stop."_

_Grant grabs onto her hair again, forcing her to stand to her feet. He brings his hand out and smacks her across the face. The impact causes Olivia's head to jerk and the side of her face slams into the wall._

_"Is this going to happen again?" Grant asks her in a cruel tone._

_"No," Olivia says quietly, her body trembling as she holds onto her face. "No, it won't. N- never again."_

_Grant grabs her wrist and pulls her behind him, walking over to the table._

_He forces her down into her seat before banging his fist on the table, causing the plate and spoon to bounce._

_"Eat!" he yells._

_Olivia immediately grabs the spoon and scoops up more mashed potatoes._

_She has even less of an appetite than she did before, but knows that Grant doesn't care about that._

_She forces the mashed potatoes into her mouth and feels Grant's eyes on her as he stands over her._

_"You're gonna learn," he repeats, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches her force the food into her mouth._

_He can see her hands trembling and recognizes the fear he causes._

_"I'm sorry, Olivia," he tells her._

_Olivia is already used to Grant's roller coaster of emotions and nods her head after his apology._

_"Don't you have anything to say?" Grant asks her._

_Olivia swallows before weakly staring up at him._

_"I- I'm sorry too," Olivia whispers._

_Grant takes the spoon from her hand and places it on the table._

_"You don't have to eat this," he tells her._

_Olivia knows that it isn't about the food and his efforts to go out and buy it. It is about the control. No matter what they are doing, Grant will find some way to accuse Olivia of doing wrong and teach her a lesson._

_Grant had set the plate down and it had only taken seconds for him to explode. Olivia had not been hungry, but had been determined to eat the food before Grant's tirade._

_The beating had been short, but the abuse continues as Grant's eyes remain on Olivia._

_She wonders what his next move will be. Grant had gone from complaining about Olivia's wasting of food to beating her to taking the spoon away from her and giving her the option not to eat it. Olivia can't stand his inconsistency. It makes it difficult for Olivia to know what to do because Grant's rules always change._

_Grant reaches into his pants pocket and Olivia hears a rattling noise coming from his hand as he shakes what he is holding._

_She stares up at him and sees him holding a bottle of pills._

_"Want more?" he asks her._

_Olivia nods her head. She knows that more pills mean that she will be more numb to the abuses and less aware of her surroundings._

_The more pills in her system, the more spaced out she becomes._

_She doesn't know if Grant wants sex next or just to talk, but figures she better prepare herself either way._

_She holds her palm out and Grant drops the bottle into her hand._

Olivia jumps when she hears the door open. Elliot walks in, taking her away from her flashback.

He walks over to the counter and tries not to be obvious as he looks down at the medication to see if she had touched it.

He watches her closely and sees that she is uneasy, her eyes slightly wet with tears.

"You okay?" he asks, tossing his coat onto the chair.

Olivia releases a heavy breath, not realizing that she had been holding it in.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about some things," Olivia responds in between each breath.

Elliot walks over to her and rubs her back.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asks.

He's not surprised when Olivia shakes her head 'no'.

**MERRY CHRISTMAS/ HAPPY HOLIDAYS! PLEASE GIVE ME A PRESENT BY REVIEWING! THANKS! Here or on twitter (iSpyMH)**


	27. Chapter 27

_**Hello. Hope everybody had a wonderful holiday. I've been sick so this is the perfect time to write since I'm in bed... and bored. I usually don't take storyline advice from viewers (because I like to keep everyone guessing), but a major part of this chapter was suggested by SVUFAN99. I just couldn't resist it because it was such a good idea. Also, I'm still using crappy Wordpad because I keep forgetting to download Microsoft Office so please inform me of any spelling errors or typos. Thanks.**_

"Liv," Elliot calls out, walking through the door. "Ya here, babe?"

After seeing no signs of Olivia in the main rooms, he heads to her bedroom, walking through the living room and tossing his coat on the nearest arm of the sofa.

His heart nearly melts after he comes around the corner to see Olivia sleeping peacefully in her bed.

He slowly walks to the edge of the bed and gently shakes her.

"Liv, you alright?" he whispers, using his hand to gently rock her body.

Olivia squints her eyes open.

"Hmmm?" she quietly moans.

"It's me," Elliot whispers. "I'm home. You alright?" he asks again.

"What time is it?" Olivia asks, her speech slurred as her body adjusts to being awakened.

"It's a quarter after seven," Elliot answers. "How long have you been asleep?"

"I don't know," Olivia responds. "After I ate lunch I guess. After twelve maybe?"

Elliot smiles and caresses her face.

"That's good news. You're finally getting your appetite back, I see," Elliot responds.

Olivia nods her head and attempts to sit up, but quickly lays her head back on her pillow, feeling dizzy.

"Woah, take it easy," Elliot soothes. "You don't need to wake up if you don't want to. I just came in to see if you were doing alright."

"I'm sorry, El. I'm just exhausted today," Olivia tells him, her voice raspy.

"I know," Elliot responds. "Rest... Get as much sleep as you need. Stay in bed. I'll take care of everything else."

Elliot rubs her shoulder before exiting her room and walking to the kitchen.

He walks over to the sink to clean her dishes, and the sink is bone dry, not a single dish in sight. He slants his eyebrow before scanning the kitchen and noticing no changes from the previous night when he had cleaned it. Elliot opens the dishwasher and only sees last night's dishes, his bowl from this morning and a couple extra glasses.

He flips open the trash lid and only sees dirty paper towels and a few empty cans of soda.

"Why would she lie about that?" he whispers to himself.

Elliot shakes his head before heading to the bathroom. _Something isn't right._

He opens the medicine cabinet and immediately reaches for his pills.

He screws open the cap and pours the pills into his hand, counting them. The amount of pills is the same from when he counted them the previous night. He grabs Olivia's bottle and sees that a significant amount of pills are missing, but the amount missing is appropriate.

It had been more than a week since Olivia's pill incident, and Elliot knows that even though Olivia had abused the prescription drugs, she still needs medication to lessen her aches and pains.

He decides that the amount missing is appropriate, but is still uneasy, wondering why Olivia feels the need to lie about eating lunch. _If she's lying about eating, then what else could she be lying about? _

Elliot doesn't know if she is lying to keep him from worrying or lying to cover up something more serious.

Elliot also wonders how Olivia is able to nap over six hours when she isn't working and has had plenty of rest at night. _That's just not like her._

He places the pills back into the medicine cabinet and walks back into Olivia's room.

Her eyes are open and she watches Elliot as he makes his way over to the bed.

He sits on the side of the bed and looks down at her. He can't help but to look suspicious as he examines her more closely.

Olivia sees him mentally searching for answers and shifts her body, laying onto her back, and looking away nervously.

"How was your first day back at work?" Olivia asks, breaking the silence and glancing over at Elliot.

"It was fine... I just did paperwork all day. How was lunch?" Elliot asks her.

Olivia swallows hard when she hears his question. She obviously had not been expecting him to ask about lunch and she looks into his eyes, wondering how well he is reading her.

She feels like she is in elementary school, at the principal's office as Elliot stares at her with a look of disappointment.

There is something about Elliot that causes her to be nervous at times like this. He knows her every thought, which Olivia hates because she isn't ready to share them.

"It was fine," Olivia answers, focusing her attention on a tiny dot on the ceiling.

"I'm glad to hear that," Elliot tells her. "What'd you eat?"

Olivia stares back at Elliot and wonders if she should continue this lie. She can tell by the expression on Elliot's face that he has already convinced himself that she is telling him everything but the actual truth.

"You tell me," she answers in a soft tone. "Sounds like you already know."

Elliot grabs her hand and gently shakes it.

"Liv, look at me," he tells her. "Look at me."

Olivia faces him as he speaks to her.

"I feel like you're distancing yourself from me. Why lie to me?" Elliot asks her.

Olivia shrugs while staring into his eyes.

"I don't know. I just don't want you worrying," she answers.

"What worries me is that you're keeping things from me. What are you hiding?"

Olivia doesn't answer him, but continues to stare into his eyes. Elliot can't help but to notice that her eyes are glossy and her pupils abnormal. He knows that she woke from her sleep only moments before, and wonders for a short second if he is simply being paranoid.

He shakes his head, not understanding the changes in her and wondering if she has been reaching out to others for medication.

_There has to be some sort of explanation for all of this. What is she hiding?_

"Olivia, you don't look okay," Elliot tells her.

"Gee, thanks," Olivia says sarcastically, slightly slurring her words. "You were always the charmer."

Elliot doesn't acknowledge her sarcastic comment and decides to be straightforward with her.

"I mean you like high. What's going on?" Elliot asks, his tone serious.

Olivia looks at him, surprised by his accusation.

"Well I'm not," she responds. "It's like I can't even be relaxed without you accusing me of that. This is about the third or fourth time you've asked me that this week. Lay off, Elliot."

"This time it's different, Liv," Elliot says. "You've been in bed all day and you look buzzed... you look really different."

Olivia manages to sit up, resting her back on the headboard.

"Knock it off, Elliot. You don't know what you're talking about," she snaps.

Elliot can see that Olivia is getting angry, but her anger is not enough to stop him.

"I know you very well, Olivia...too well. Drop the act. You're only hurting yourself," Elliot tells her.

Olivia shakes her head and points in the direction of her door.

"Get out, Elliot. Leave! I don't have to take this," she orders.

Elliot ignores her orders and continues his questioning.

"Where are they?" he asks her.

"Where are what?" Olivia snaps.

She holds her head and closes her eyes, feeling dizzy as her anger builds.

"The pills," Elliot answers. "Where are you hiding pills?"

Olivia pushes the blanket off her legs and attempts to climb out of the bed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she says, her voice shaking as she speaks. "But I don't have to take this. If you won't leave, I will."

Elliot grabs Olivia's arm, preventing her from leaving and keeping a strong hold on her.

"Olivia, stop this! Just tell me!" Elliot says, practically yelling.

Olivia flinches and releases a small yelp before snatching her arm away from Elliot, pushing her back against the headboard, and raising her hands in front of her as if she is blocking Elliot from striking her.

_"STOP!" Grant yells as Olivia cowers in the corner, squatting. "Shut up! No more crying!"_

_Olivia bites her bottom lip and tastes blood, her lip split from Grant backhanding her only minutes before._

_Her entire body convulses as she cries. She sucks in a deep wet breath, attempting to stop her tears. Grant is truly a sadist. _

_"Stand," Grant orders, only a few feet in front of her._

_Olivia uses the wall to stand to her feet, her legs feeling weak as Grant towers over her._

_She freezes as Grant walks closer to her, staring into his cold eyes and using the wall as support._

_"What did I just say to you?" Grant asks her._

_Olivia holds onto the wall before burying her head into the corner, hiding her face from Grant._

_"I asked you a question," Grant growls at her. "Don't make me ask again."_

_Olivia turns toward him, her bottom lip shaking as she attempts to speak. She knows the longer Grant waits, the angrier he becomes._

_"You...you told me to stop ...to stop crying," she sobs, tensing her body as she prepares herself for another attack._

_"And what are you doing right now?" Grant asks her._

_Olivia wishes she could push her back past the corner and be out of Grant's reach._

_Her legs shake beneath her as she opens her mouth to answer him. She doesn't get the chance to as Grant whips his hand across her face._

_Olivia slides to the floor and instantly lifts her arms up, shielding herself._

_"You don't get to make anymore mistakes," Grant says, walking a few feet away from her. "You only get so many strikes before you have to pay for your mistakes."_

_Olivia puts her arms down to look over at Grant and sees him struggling with his belt buckle._

_"Grant, what are you doing?" she softly cries._

_"Teaching you another lesson," he growls while undoing the buckle. "You've been with me enough days to know better."_

_Olivia shakes her head and more tears stream down her face._

_"No...no," she whispers. "Grant, don't... no."_

_Grant pulls his belt from the straps of his pants and steps closer to her._

_"Don- Don't," Olivia pleads, her breathing labored. "Gra- Gran't, please don't."_

_She raises her hands back up as Grant plays with his belt, swinging it back and forth, teasing her._

_Olivia snatches her hands back as Grant whips the belt across her forearms, a welt immediately forming on Olivia's skin._

_She pushes her body into the floor and curls her legs up into the fetal position as she covers as much of her body as she can with her arms._

_"St- stop... please... I haven't done anything wrong," she softly cries._

_Grant brings the belt back down and whips her across her exposed legs._

_Olivia wishes she could black out as the excruciating pain soars through her body._

_"Don't," she cries as Grant yanks her to her feet and throws her hard onto the bed._

_Olivia's body bounces onto the mattress before she brings her knees in again and reaches one arm out to protect herself._

_Grant leaves another welt on her arm as he strikes her with the belt again._

_"Stop!" Olivia whispers with the intention to yell, but unable to find her voice. "You're gonna kill me...Grant, you're gonna kill me."_

_Olivia grabs a pillow to block the strikes and Grant takes advantage of her exposed legs, whipping her with the belt as she grips hard onto the pillow._

_She hugs her arms around the pillow, squeezing it and biting down on the case, her screams muffled as Grant strikes her multiple times._

_Grant snatches the pillow away from her and tosses it across the room just to see her face._

_He pretends to go for another strike again and Olivia flinches._

_He laughs as she shakes on the bed, terrified and in pain._

_"Want more?" he asks menacingly._

_Olivia shakes her head and sucks in more wet breaths, her body still trembling._

_"No. Pl- please... no," she cries in a whisper._

_"Good," Grant responds. "Because I'm exhausted."_

_He looks down at her and drops the belt before bringing his fingers to the buttons on his shirt._

_"Take off your top," he orders, tossing his shirt to the floor._

"It's okay, it's okay," Elliot says, watching as Olivia takes in deep breaths.

Her eyes are wide and her forehead is sweaty as Elliot tries to soothe her.

"Liv, it's just me. It's Elliot. I didn't mean to hurt you," he tells her.

Olivia defensively puts her arms back up as Elliot tries to rub her shoulder.

"Stop!" she cries out. "Please, stop...don't."

Elliot puts his hands up in surrender and speaks again.

"Olivia," he whispers. "It's okay... it's just me. I'm not here to hurt you."

Olivia releases a heavy breath, blinking her eyes as she realizes who is in front of her.

Her cheeks turn fiery red and she clings onto her chest, still terrified yet embarrassed about her freak out.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, breathing heavily.

"It's okay," Elliot reassures her. "No need to be sorry. I'm sorry, Olivia... I should be the one apologizing. I didn't mean to be so rough with you. It's my fault."

Olivia finally calms her breathing and looks down into her lap. She doesn't like appearing weak in front of Elliot and she can see by the look in his eyes that he knows she had been reliving Grant's abuses.

Elliot can see that he caused a flashback and his heart aches, feeling guilty for bringing back those hurtful memories, causing her even an ounce of pain.

Even with the pain that he realizes he caused, he cannot hold this conversation off for a later date or time. He loves her too much.

"You're okay," he repeats, slowly moving his hand to hers. "I know you're in pain, Liv. I'm sorry about that."

Olivia nods her head and swallows. Never had she imagined that she would react that way to Elliot's touch. It sounds so ridiculous to her now, but the abuse seemed so real to her only moments ago.

She massages her forearm and glides her fingers over her healing welt.

Elliot watches and waits for her to calm herself before speaking again.

"Olivia, I have to ask...Where are you getting pills from?" Elliot whispers, going back to their earlier conversation. "You need to tell me."

_**CLIFFHANGER-ISH! I KNOW YOU HATE ME, BUT I ONLY DO THIS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**Hey, I'm back! Sorry for the wait.**_ _**Thanks to the anonymous reviewers that stuck up for me when that asshole was being… well an asshole. It's true; like many other people, I do get writer's block and I can be somewhat of a perfectionist… I don't like posting chapters unless I love the material because I know that I will eventually regret it. Thanks for your patience. I actually thought I would have this chapter up yesterday morning, but it didn't work out that way. I do have a career now that takes up a lot of my time, but when I see that you guys are eager for another chapter, I try to update as quickly as possible. However, even when I want to update quickly it doesn't always work out that way because there are times when I don't have a single creative bone in my body. You all wouldn't enjoy the story if I just BS'd chapters which I could easily do. I like giving you my best. Thanks for being so devoted! **_

_Elliot watches and waits for her to calm herself before speaking again._

_"Olivia, I have to ask...Where are you getting these pills from?"_

Olivia opens her mouth to speak and hesitates, uncertain of how Elliot will react to the truth. She hates when Elliot is in father mode and her hands shake from anxiety as she turns and grabs the pillow she had been resting on from behind her.

Elliot watches Olivia as she reaches into the pillow case, pulling out a medicine bottle. He extends his hand out and accepts the bottle from her, reading it, his eyebrows slanted as he scans the label.

It is a bottle of Valium and to Elliot's complete surprise, the bottle is clearly prescribed to Olivia, her full name printed on the front of the label.

"I…I don't understand," Elliot says, slowly shaking his head. "Why didn't you tell me about this? When did you get these?"

Olivia bows her head in shame and embarrassment before staring back up at Elliot, looking into his light blue eyes.

"I know you, Elliot. You wouldn't have approved," Olivia tells him, practically whispering. 

Elliot stares down at the bottle again before facing Olivia.

"This is exactly what I meant when I said it earlier... you have all these secrets now. I've never known you to be this way," Elliot responds.

"Are you telling me that you don't care that I'm taking these? It doesn't bother you?" Olivia asks him.

"I'm just afraid that you're taking them for all the wrong reasons. I know that these are prescribed for anxiety and not just for pain like the Vicodin, but hopefully..." Elliot begins without finishing his thought.

Olivia waits for Elliot to continue before speaking and filling in the voids for him.

"Hopefully what, Elliot?" she asks him. "Hopefully I'm not taking these to get high? To get a buzz? Is that what you were going to say?"

Elliot nods his head and hands the bottle back over to Olivia.

"Well... yeah, Liv," he says, shrugging. "What else am I suppose to assume? Why else would you hide these from me?"

Olivia accepts the pills back and grips onto the bottle, her discomfort clearly showing as Elliot stares down at her and continues to question her motive.

"I hid them from you for this exact reason, Elliot. You worry about absolutely everything. I knew you would only think the worst about these pills and that's why I didn't tell you about them...and I hid the appointment from you because I needed my space. I didn't want you questioning everything I did."

Elliot nods his head, a tiny frown appearing on his face, hurt that Olivia feels the need to hide parts of her life from him.

"I understand," Elliot responds, his tone soft. "So who prescribed these to you?" he asks her.

Olivia slowly shakes her head and grips onto the bottle tighter, almost as if Elliot was threatening to snatch the bottle away from her frail hands.

"Is it the same doctor who prescribed your pain meds?" Elliot asks, pushing for an answer.

"I can't tell you," Olivia answers.

"Why not?"

"Why does it matter which doctor prescribed it, El? Why do you want to know?" Olivia responds, refusing to give him any details.

Elliot continues to stare into her glossy eyes, but doesn't answer her.

"Because you plan on interfering, that's why," Olivia says, finishing off his thought for him once again.

"I can't have you doing that, Elliot... I need these, I really do."

Elliot looks into Olivia's eyes sympathetically.

"I know you feel that way, Liv," he tells her. "It just seems like you are taking the easy route instead of getting actual help. Pills as strong as these can be very dangerous. You haven't tried counseling at all…you haven't reached out to anyone."

Olivia tries to hold back her amusement to his last statement, but fails to as she releases a small, harsh laugh.

"That's funny coming from you. Since when did Elliot Stabler become pro-therapy?" Olivia scoffs.

"You need help, babe...more help than pills can provide," Elliot responds, disregarding her question. "Taking this medication will only help you temporarily. Once the drugs are out of your system, you'll be an emotional wreck. That same pain is going to return and that's what I'm concerned about. You're going to keep needing the pills until that pain is gone…which will never happen until you start talking about it."

"I know you're worried and it must be really easy for you to tell me to lay off the pills. You have no idea how hard this is for me, Elliot. I just can't talk about it right now. I've already told you that," Olivia tells him. "And I don't understand why you're rushing this. I'll talk to someone when I'm ready to talk."

Elliot nods his head and doesn't argue with her any further. He knows that arguing with Olivia would do little to no good right now. He stands up from the bed and pulls the blanket back over Olivia, covering her from her shoulders, down.

"I don't want to rush you or force you into anything…I just want you to know that there are better options out there. I'm offering you an alternative," Elliot says, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Olivia nods her head and watches as Elliot walks around the bed, moving to the opposite side. He sits on the edge and begins removing his shoes. 

"What are you doing?" she asks him.

"I'm like you, I'm exhausted," Elliot responds, yawning. "I've had my face in paperwork all day long. I just want to relax and close my eyes forever."

Olivia nods her head while shifting her body to face him. She enjoys watching Elliot, and as much as she feels restricted lately by his protective ways, she is content and feels more at peace when he is with her.

Elliot stands, removing his belt before unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it onto the floor. He turns to the bed, revealing his toned upper body. Olivia stares at him, smirking, her mind wandering back as she begins to remember the way that her body responds when Elliot strips from his clothing in front of her.

Elliot notices her expression and smiles, happy to see signs of normalcy as Olivia gazes at his body.

"Try not to be so obvious," he jokes while climbing into the bed.

Olivia quickly looks away, her cheeks turning bright red from embarrassment.

Elliot pulls the covers over his body and stares at her while she attempts to avoid his eyes.

"I didn't mean to tease ya," he tells her, sensing her embarrassment.

Olivia nods her head and relaxes as Elliot moves his body closer to hers.

"It's okay to feel normal sometimes, Liv," Elliot whispers as he extends his hand out and caresses the side of her face.

Olivia squeezes her legs together as her body reacts to Elliot's gentle and intimate touch.

"You don't have to be ashamed of anything you're feeling."

"I'm not," Olivia responds, whispering.

Truthfully, Olivia is ashamed. The last time that her body responded in this manner was when she was underneath her abuser.

_This isn't Grant. This is the man I love._

She can't help but to feel shameful as she desires more of Elliot's touch.

She tries to push past her memories of being under Grant's control, but struggles as she feels that familiar heat rising between her thighs.

"_You're so good today," Grant whispers in her ear as he reaches in between Olivia's legs. "I can tell that you want me."_

_Olivia fights with her body as Grant brings his hands back up, tenderly massaging her shoulders._

"_This is all I've ever wanted from you, sweetheart. I'm glad you're finally getting it," Grant tells her, gazing into her wet eyes. _

_Olivia releases a small moan as she feels Grant's hand trailing down past her collar bone, cupping her right breast and gently massaging it. Olivia gasps as Grant enters her and she clings onto the sheets beneath her. _

_This night is no different from any other night. Grant is the same abusive man that she had known from the beginning. This morning even began with another beating yet Olivia is finding it hard to stay neutral as Grant continues to manipulate her body with his. _

_She bites her bottom lip in frustration, hating how her body is responding to Grant's touch. Olivia can't understand why her body is suddenly reacting this way to Grant's tortures, and she closes her eyes in defeat as he moves inside her. _

_He rocks his hips into her slowly while staring down at her face. Grant closely watches Olivia's expression as he pushes deeper into her, causing her mouth to crack open as another moan escapes from her lips._

"_Yes," Grant grunts as he hears her soft cry of pleasure. _

_He increases his pace as he moves inside Olivia and her body jolts, convulsing as she attempts to resist the intense pleasure she's experiencing as Grant reaches his arms around her body. He brings her closer to him, wrapping his hands around her behind, and Olivia's head drops back as he moves their bodies in unison._

"_That's it," Grant grunts again as he approaches his climax. _

_Olivia cries out, in total submission as orgasms ripple through her body. She covers her face, hiding it from Grant, humiliated by the way in which her body is responding to his manipulations. _

Olivia is disgusted by the fact that the last time she had experienced sexual gratification had been with Grant. Her body had desired what her mind had been rejecting, and she now needs that control back.

"Elliot…kiss me," she says, taking Elliot by surprise.

"What?" Elliot says, looking into her eyes, dumbfounded.

"Kiss me," she repeats, whispering. "Please."

Elliot slowly shakes his head and gently grabs her hand.

"Liv, this isn't what I meant. You don't have to be ashamed of what you're feeling, that's true, but I'm not trying to rush you into anything. You don't have to do anything that you're not fully ready to do," Elliot tells her in a soft tone.

"I know," Olivia whispers. "Please, El… just make love to me. That's all I'm asking…"

Elliot hesitates, unsure of where her mind really is. He had never turned Olivia down in the past, not once, but he worries she is too fragile at the moment. He looks down at her, staring into her chocolate brown eyes and trying his best to read her thoughts.

"Olivia, why are you doing this?" he whispers while he softly strokes her upper arm with the back of his hand.

"Because I need you," she responds, whispering. "I need to experience real love again. I can't have my last memory be of Grant. I need that control back, Elliot. I need you to love me again."

Elliot glances down at the bottle of pills that are still resting in Olivia's palm and wonders if the medication is having an effect on her thinking.

"Liv, I don't want to hurt you. And…and the pills…"

"This has nothing to do with the pills," Olivia argues. "Elliot, I'm not high or out of my mind. I know exactly what I'm doing. Please… I've been under Grant's control for too long… he forced me to make love to him throughout the day and I need that part of my life back. I need to take it all back. I want to experience true love again. I'm ready…Please, Elliot."

Elliot leans down and places a gentle kiss on her lips. He wonders if this is the right decision. _Will this cause even more damage to her or will it bring her closer to normalcy? _

Olivia closes her eyes and relaxes her body, waiting for Elliot to remind her what true love really feels like.

_**PLEASE REVIEW. Initially I had this chapter and the next chapter merged together, but it wasn't working out so I split them into two chapters… meaning you should see the next chapter fairly soon. Again, thanks for reading! You guys make me smile. Please keep pushing me to update quickly, and thanks for not being disrespectful about it like that one psycho reviewer. **_


	29. Chapter 29

"_Glad to see Olivia wasn't abusing the pills."_ -MHfan11794

**Ummmmm… Yikes. *ducks* Yeah…. No comment. I don't want to depress you and give you any bad news right now because you seem to be really happy about that. **

"_I do however get the feeling that Liv is abusing the Valium. I'm not sure if that was the point. If taken the right way your speech should not be slurred or your eyes glossy." –SVUFAN99_

***nods head in agreement* Right you are, my dear.**

**I'm at work and won't be home for a little while so I decided to post this for you guys before I left. I know you all hate waiting! I didn't have time to re-read and edit it so I apologize for any grammar or mistakes! I'll fix it later, I promise!**

_"Olivia, why are you doing this?" he whispers while he softly strokes her upper arm with the back of his hand._

_"Because I need you," she responds, whispering. "I need to experience real love again. I can't have my last memory be of Grant. I need that control back, Elliot. I need you to love me again."_

_Elliot glances down at the bottle of pills that are still resting in Olivia's palm and wonders if the medication is having an effect on her thinking._

_"Liv, I don't want to hurt you. And…and the pills…"_

_"This has nothing to do with the pills," Olivia argues. "Elliot, I'm not high or out of my mind. I know exactly what I'm doing. Please… I've been under Grant's control for too long… he forced me to make love to him throughout the day and I need that part of my life back. I need to take it all back. I want to experience true love again. I'm ready…Please, Elliot."_

_Elliot leans down and places a gentle kiss on her lips. He wonders if this is the right decision. __Will this cause even more damage to her or will it bring her closer to normalcy? _

_Olivia closes her eyes and relaxes her body, waiting for Elliot to remind her what true love really feels like._

"I'm ready," Olivia repeats, whispering. "Trust me."

Elliot looks into Olivia's eyes, shifting his body closer to hers. Olivia seems genuine as she extends her hand out and cups Elliot's chin with her palm. Elliot reaches toward the opposite hand and removes the pill bottle that she is holding, tossing it to the other side of the bed.

He pauses once more, not wanting to make any mistakes, but knowing that Olivia will consider herself damaged goods if he rejects her.

Elliot leans over and brings his lips to hers, gently taking in her bottom lip before pulling back and staring into her eyes once more. Elliot wants to make certain that Olivia is truly ready, and not suddenly regretting this after the contact that Elliot had just made.

"I love you," she whispers and Elliot nods his head when he realizes that Olivia's need is still the same.

Elliot kneels, sitting back on his calves as he slowly begins to work at her clothing. He tucks his fingers into the waistband of Olivia's pajama pants and gradually pulls them down her legs, tossing them onto the floor.

He crawls closer to Olivia and lies on his side next to her, reaching his hand toward her abs and gently massaging her stomach. Olivia closes her eyes and fully rests her head back, relaxing as Elliot's hands go from her core to her inner thighs.

Elliot gazes at her angelic face while trailing his hands up between her legs until he reaches her panties. He gently squeezes and feels the moisture through her silk panties as his hand presses against her covered mound.

He remains on his side, using one hand to slowly pull her panties down her legs. He uses the same hand to pull up her tank top, watching his contact as he notices the bruising along her sides and arms.

He frowns in anger, Grant's face suddenly flashing before him, but quickly shakes it off, not wanting to break the intimate mood.

Olivia lifts her upper body as Elliot pulls her tank top past her shoulders and over her head. She watches Elliot as he works at his pants button and zipper. He drags his pants and underwear down his legs, completely exposed as he tosses them onto the floor.

He slowly lowers his body on top of Olivia, hovering over her. He brings his head down and places a soft kiss on her lips, and is slightly surprised when Olivia wraps her hands around the back of his head, bringing him closer.

He lifts his head and looks down at her. He wonders how she manages to stay so relaxed as she smirks and gazes into his eyes. He hopes that she is truly herself and that this isn't just the influence of the medication that he is seeing. However, he can't help but to doubt that this is truly her, his years of experience with victims of sexual violence causing him to think pessimistically.

He lowers himself more onto her body and his erection rests on her stomach as he kisses her neck. He reaches down, grabbing the head of his dick as he places it at her entrance. He waits, slightly nervous as his eyes remain on Olivia.

"Do it, Elliot," she says in a low whisper. "Please…"

Elliot enters her and they both release a gasp as he pushes into her. Olivia lets out a faint whimper as Elliot begins to move inside her, his rhythm consistent as he reaches his arms around her back and embraces her.

In the same manner, Olivia reaches her arms around his strong back as Elliot pumps inside her.

"I love you," Elliot grunts as Olivia's inner walls tighten around him.

Olivia closes her eyes and moans his name as Elliot's pace increases.

"You okay?" he mumbles, momentarily stopping.

"Yes…yes, don't stop," Olivia whispers.

Elliot continues and Olivia wraps her hands around his muscular ass as he begins pumping inside her again. Olivia's moans get louder and Elliot can tell that she is close to her peak. He increases his pace even more, his bottom jaw dropping as her insides vibrate around him.

Olivia cries out and Elliot's motion slows moments later as he moans through his climax.

He rolls off of her, both their breathing labored. He reaches down and pulls the covers back over them, moving closer to Olivia and putting one arm around her.

"I love you," he whispers while kissing her on her right temple. "You're so strong, Liv. You control your own life and I love that about you."

"Thank you," Olivia says softly. "I love you too, Elliot…but I'm not as strong as you think I am."

Elliot looks over at Olivia, gently massaging her shoulder as he speaks.

"You just don't feel that way right now. You'll get there," he promises her, breathing heavily.

Olivia closes her eyes, nodding from Elliot's words. She peacefully exhales as she feels Elliot's hand massaging her shoulder, knowing that she can rest and be at ease in his arms.

_**The following day**_

Olivia cracks her eyes open, looking into the darkness and wondering how she always manages to bury her head under the covers during her sleep.

She moves slightly to pull the covers away from her face and freezes when she feels an arm wrapped around her waist. Her heart drops into her stomach and she releases a heavy breath before recoiling, her abs tightening as she tenses her entire body.

She feels the skin to skin contact and realizes she is naked, releasing a small whimper as she thinks she is trapped under_ his_ arm on the bed once again.

"Babe, what's the matter?" Elliot asks as he awakens to her soft cry.

Olivia pulls the covers away from her face, whipping her head around, turning to face him and releasing more heavy breaths as she realizes where she actually is. She rolls toward Elliot and clings onto him as if he had just rescued her from a speeding bullet.

"Oh my God," she coughs out, tears pooling into her eyes.

"Liv, what happened?" Elliot responds in concern for her. "What's wrong?"

Olivia can barely speak as she remains holding onto Elliot.

"I-I'm sor-… I'm sorry," she breathes out, stuttering her words.

"It's me," Elliot tells her when he realizes that she must have just woken up from some terrible nightmare or maybe even a flashback. "It's me, babe," he repeats, rubbing her arm.

"I… I don't know what happened….I'm sorry," Olivia tells him, still slightly panicked as she tries to adjust to reality.

"Don't be sorry," Elliot whispers to her. "It's okay. You're okay, Liv…you're okay, ya hear me?"

Olivia frantically nods her head as Elliot brings her closer to him.

"Nightmare?" he asks her.

"Yeah," Olivia lies, whispering.

She doesn't want Elliot to think she is delusional so she confirms his assumption even though her dreams were free of Grant.

"It's over," Elliot comforts her.

Olivia can feel the heat on her cheeks and knows her face is red. She's embarrassed that she had freaked out in front of Elliot and hopes that Elliot is not wondering if he's the cause of it.

She suddenly realizes that the drugs are mostly out of her system, and knows that she would not have reacted in the same manner had she just taken her pills like she had planned on doing.

"Let me get you your robe," Elliot says, hopping out of the bed and walking toward the robe hanging on her door.

He fears that Olivia may feel too exposed. Elliot vows on doing whatever he can to make her feel more comfortable. He hands her the robe and Olivia accepts it, slipping it onto each arm.

"I'm sorry I freaked out on you," Olivia tells him. "You were great last night, you really were."

"Oh, trust me, I know," Elliot jokes in attempt to lighten the mood.

Olivia fakes a smile while using her hand to feel for the pill bottle on the bed. Her palm finally lands on top of the bottle and she slips it into the pocket of her robe as she moves off the bed.

"Don't flatter yourself," Olivia jokes back and Elliot gives her a playful frown. "I'm gonna go hop in the shower."

Elliot hears the sink running first, but when he finally hears the shower water, he walks into the living room, picking up the remote to turn on the television. He sits on the sofa, watching the news and waiting for Olivia to finish. He takes his turn in the bathroom after he hears the door open and Olivia walking in her room to change.

When he finishes showering and dressing he walks back into the living room to see Olivia seated on the sofa, dressed in a large T-shirt and sweatpants, her hair still damp from towel drying it.

He sits beside her, smirking at her as she watches the news. Inside he is happy that they had taken such a huge step last night, but a part of him wonders if Olivia has any regrets.

"You okay?" he asks, staring at her.

Olivia looks at him and smiles, her breathing relaxed as she gazes into his eyes.

"Yeah…I'm great," she says softly. "What about you?"

Elliot shrugs before cocking his head toward her.

"If you're great, I'm great."

He can't help but to be slightly suspicious as Olivia scoots toward him and rests her head on his shoulder, exhaling peacefully. Her skin feels warm and her state is calm. Elliot wonders if these are both just effects of the shower she had just taken.

Showers and baths have always relaxed Olivia, but ever since her capture, most methods Elliot has suggested to calm her have failed.

_Could things be going this perfect? _Elliot wonders to himself.

"I'll be back in a second," Elliot says, gently nudging Olivia for her to remove her head from his shoulder.

Olivia lifts her head and stares at Elliot, puzzled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Elliot tells her. "I forgot to put deodorant on. I don't wanna get all smelly. You can rest your lovely head on my shoulder when I return in a sec," he says, smiling.

Olivia nods her head and Elliot walks back into the bedroom. When he enters the room he walks over to the bed, tossing a pillow aside and searching through the covers.

He sighs in relief when he finds the medication, the pill bottle appearing to be in the same position as it had been the previous night. He lifts the bottle and shakes it around, looking into the cylinder container, and curious about the amount of pills inside.

He never had the opportunity to count them, but concludes to himself that they had not been touched, doubting that Olivia would swallow them in her bedroom with a dry throat. He looks around the room for a leftover drink in a glass and is satisfied when he doesn't find one.

He tosses the bottle back onto the bed, exiting the room and rejoining Olivia on the sofa.

_**PLEASE REIVEW. AS ALWAYS, I APPRECIATE MY REVIEWERS. YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL! **_____


	30. Chapter 30

_**BACK! Special thanks to Heather(SVUFAN99) for helping me come out of my writer's block. Love ya! And thanks to all of you for reviewing and bugging me to continue writing! :) **_

_He sighs in relief when he finds the medication, the pill bottle appearing to be in the same position as it had been the previous night. He lifts the bottle and shakes it around, looking into the cylinder container, and curious about the amount of pills inside._

_He never had the opportunity to count them, but concludes to himself that they had not been touched, doubting that Olivia would swallow them in her bedroom with a dry throat. He looks around the room for a leftover drink in a glass and is satisfied when he doesn't find one. He tosses the bottle back onto the bed, exiting the room and rejoining Olivia on the sofa._

Elliot's suspicions quickly return as he faces toward Olivia, watching her stare into the distance, only blinking once or twice as she focuses on nothing in particular.

She doesn't notice Elliot staring at her, her lips slightly parted as her eyes remain fixed on the wall behind the television.

"What ya lookin' at?" Elliot asks her while concentrating on her face.

"Hmm?" Olivia mumbles softly, hearing Elliot's voice, but unable to interpret his words.

"What are you staring at?" Elliot rephrases as he waits for her to turn in his direction.

Olivia rapidly blinks her eyelids before facing Elliot, slightly surprised to see him back so soon.

"That was quick," she comments, still slightly dazed as she stares into Elliot's eyes.

"When did you take 'em?" Elliot asks her with a stern look on his face.

"Take what?" Olivia asks him, her eyelids drooping as she struggles to keep them completely open, failing at appearing normal to Elliot.

"Is that why you had the sink running?... Did you swallow some in the bathroom or did you feel so desperate that you waited and took them dry throat in the bedroom?" Elliot asks, deciding not to waste any time by explaining what he is referring to.

He knows that Olivia had already caught on to the subject and waits as she opens her mouth to speak. She's slow to respond, taken back by his sudden questioning.

She's oblivious to her obvious drowsy state, believing she looks more normal than she actually appears.

"I wasn't aware that I'm _not_ supposed to be taking what was prescribed to me," Olivia answers in a sarcastic tone, speaking slowly as she concentrates on each word. "Sorry."

"Once again, you're hiding it," Elliot responds. "Don't waste your time lying to me and acting as if you took what was prescribed, Liv. You overdosed again…I can see it in your eyes. You might as well abuse the meds right in front of me. I've known you for too long… I know right away when you're high and when you're not. This cover up that you're attempting isn't going to work."

Olivia swallows hard before staring at him. She's unable to find her words as she looks at the disappointment on Elliot's face.

"Not only did you sneak them into the bathroom, hiding them from me… but you took more than you were supposed to, didn't you, Liv?"

Olivia slowly shakes her head, not intentionally giving Elliot a negative response, but as a way of informing him that she does not want to talk about this.

"You're not fooling me, Liv… you abused them again… but why? Did something happen this morning that you wanna talk about? Or is this just a routine for you now?" Elliot asks her.

He hates being so harsh with his words, but knows that he has to get to the root of this issue.

"Is that it, Liv? Do you want to become an addict? Is that really what you want?

Olivia shakes her head again as she bows her head.

"El, we just talked about this last night. Please, just leave me alone. Drop it," Olivia whispers, closing her eyes as she speaks.

"No, I'm not gonna drop it," Elliot responds. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you become an addict…I'm not gonna do nothing while you intentionally hurt yourself."

Olivia looks back up at Elliot, her pain evident as tears pool into the corners of her eyes.

"I'm not _trying_ to hurt myself, Elliot… I'm trying to do the exact opposite," Olivia speaks softly, taking pauses between her words as she feels the full effects of the Valium.

"You're on your way to becoming an addict, to becoming physically dependent on drugs. Do you not see that?" Elliot asks her, his frustration showing as he speaks.

"What do you want, Elliot? Do you want me moping around here sad and afraid all of the time? Because that's exactly what's gonna happen if I don't have anything to calm me…anything to help me deal with this."

"What are you afraid of, Liv? Grant's gone…forever. You're still letting the man control you and he's dead. Grant is dead," Elliot says to her in a loud whisper. "He's never coming back, but you still find it necessary to listen to him, to let him continue to control you like this."

"He's dead to _you_, Elliot," Olivia responds.

Elliot stares into her eyes, a hint of confusion on his face as he listens to her speak.

"He hasn't left me… He's in my head constantly and the memories are still as fresh as if I'm still with him, back at that house. You can try to understand, but you just don't…you don't know what it's like to feel tortured by your own memories…to feel his presence and to hear his voice so…so vividly."

"That's why you need to talk to someone," Elliot tells her. "We've told so many victims to get help, not because it was our job, but because counseling actually works… You know this, Liv."

Olivia nods her head and looks down at her hands as her fingers tug nervously at her large T-shirt. She hates having this conversation and had thought that she could hide this from Elliot.

_What was I thinking? He knows everything._

"I can't even imagine talking about that right now, Elliot… let alone actually doing it," Olivia says, her voice trembling as she speaks. "It's extremely painful… and s- some of the things he did to me… I… I just can't be humiliated again. Not this soon. I-I need time."

Elliot nods his head and moves closer to her.

"Well, for the time being… I need to monitor your pills," Elliot tells her.

Elliot stops speaking for a moment, somewhat worried about how Olivia will react to his strong proposal. He knows that the last thing that Olivia wants is someone monitoring her, controlling what she does. Olivia shakes her head, but doesn't speak.

" I have to, Liv. I know you're in a lot of pain, but this isn't the answer. I need to make sure that you're taking them properly. If something were to happen to you, I wouldn't want to live knowing that I could have prevented it," Elliot tells her.

Olivia stares at Elliot and hesitates before accepting.

"Okay," she whispers to him, slightly slurring her words. "Take them."

Elliot realizes that this is the closest she's come to progressing and says nothing more, fearful that her opinion may change if he continues suggesting ways to help her. He thinks ahead and wonders how she will react when sober, wondering if she is only accepting this because she is high and confused. He extends his hand out, gently stroking her cheek as she slowly closes her eyelids.

"You're right," she whispers softly while leaning into his hand.

Elliot gives a half smile, not fully satisfied with her acceptance.

_This was too easy._

He lifts himself back up from the sofa and heads into her bedroom to retrieve the pill bottle. He returns to the living room, holding the bottle in his right hand.

"You'll still get 'em when you need them," Elliot reassures her. "There's absolutely nothing to worry about. They're still here for you to take… I just don't want you overdoing it."

Olivia already seems irritable as she stares from the bottle to Elliot, and Elliot realizes that just within a couple minutes of making the agreement, Olivia is quickly beginning to have doubts and regrets.

"And when you're _not _here?" Olivia speaks softly.

Elliot brings the bottle up, the directions on the label facing him. He scans the label before looking back over at Olivia.

"If I go to work, I'll leave enough for you...And after looking at these instructions, that shouldn't be a problem," Elliot responds.

Olivia is surprised by his quick response and Elliot watches her silently think to herself, searching for more reasons on why this arrangement wouldn't work.

"Wh- What if you forget?" Olivia responds, slightly panicked and quickly regretting this agreement. "What am I suppose to do? Just suffer in this apartment while you're out at work?"

"I'm not going to forget you, Liv… and if there is even the slightest chance that I will, I'm only a phone call away. All you would have to do is ring me," Elliot reassures her.

Olivia bows her head in surrender, nodding as Elliot places a soft kiss on her forehead.

_**3 Days Later**_

_Olivia awakens to the smell of bacon, keeping her eyes closed as she takes in the sweetish aroma. She hears footsteps approaching her, heavy heals treading along the wooden floor and she squints her eyes open, staring at the man in front of her. _

"_Breakfast," Grant says, holding a tray of hot food in his hands. _

_Olivia slowly sits up, using her arms to lift herself, scooting backwards until her back reaches the headboard. She accepts the food, staring into Grant's bright eyes as he slowly places the tray on her lap. _

"_You deserve it," he tells her, waiting for her to take the first bite. _

"_Thank you," Olivia whispers, picking up the fork that is resting on the right side of the plate._

_Olivia is relaxed, the strong drugs still present in her system, however, she is finding it difficult to open her mouth, having even less of an appetite than she had the previous day. The food smells magnificent, but she gags at the thought of eating everything that Grant had prepared on the tray._

_Remembering Grant's tirade from the night before, she parts her lips and takes in a fork full of eggs._

"_It's good," she says in a timid tone after swallowing. _

_She fights past her nausea and goes for the lightly buttered biscuit on the tray, picking it up and ripping off a piece to place in her mouth. _

"_You've done so much for me, Olivia," Grant tells her. "It's about time I return the favor."_

_Olivia nods her head and nibbles on the piece of biscuit, watching Grant's eyes as she chews. _

"_This is good," she repeats, her mouth still half full. _

_Grant smiles and reaches toward the night stand. Olivia hears the all too familiar rattle as Grant shakes the small bottle in his hand. _

"_Maybe a few of these after breakfast?" Grant asks, holding the pills in his hand._

_Olivia frantically nods her head. What had once been something given to her by force is now something that she craves, something that she begs for. _

"_Yes… Please," Olivia pleads with him, keeping her eyes on the bottle. _

_She needs an escape. She knows the only way of escaping this hell is through the medication. The pills calm her, they put her at ease. Sometimes she is out like a light within moments of taking the pills, depending on the amount given to her. _

_She knows that Grant enjoys her suffering and tries to hold back her excitement, failing as she hysterically looks into his eyes and nods her head once more. She doesn't want Grant knowing that she craves the pills because she fears that Grant would see that as an opportunity to manipulate her even further, and choose to keep the pills away from her as a form of punishment. _

"_Oh, you want them do you?" he teases._

_Olivia makes an attempt at remaining calm, slowly shrugging her shoulders as she speaks. _

"_If that's what you want," she whispers to him. "I'm only trying to make you happy."_

_Grant grins and cocks his head toward the tray._

"_Eat up…You'll get some, I promise you. Be a good girl and eat some more food first."_

_Olivia quickly begins to eat, ignoring her lack of an appetite and staring at the pill bottle as motivation. She finishes the biscuit and strips of bacon and goes for more eggs before Grant stops her._

"_You don't have to eat those," he tells her. "If you're full, just say it."_

_Olivia puts the fork down and stares into Grant's green eyes. She wonders if he is testing her as he smirks and begins unscrewing the cap. _

"_Are you sure?" she asks, her tone timid. "I'm not hungry anymore, but the food is great… I can eat more," she responds, testing the waters a bit._

"_Of course I'm sure," Grant says in a chipper tone. "You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do."_

_Olivia slowly closes her eyes, remembering the several days of abuse prior to this day. His remark tortures her inside, but she simply nods her head, lifting the tray to hand to him. _

_Grant accepts the tray and places it on the nightstand. _

"_How many would you like?" he asks her._

_Olivia already has in mind the amount of pills she would like to take, but pauses and remains silent as she tries to read Grant's face._

"_Speak up," Grant orders._

"_Um… how- however many you think I should take," Olivia suggests, her voice trembling. _

_Grant moves forward to hand her the bottle before standing in front of her._

"_No, no, no…I trust you," he tells her. "Take however many you like."_

_Olivia reaches her shaky hand toward the bottle, taking it from Grant's large palm. She struggles with unscrewing the cap before finally twisting it off. She waits for Grant's approval again and remains sitting on the bed with the cap now off the pill bottle._

_Grant hands her the glass of orange juice which Olivia accepts with the opposite hand._

"_Why are you acting so nervous?" Grant asks. "It's not like you've never taken these before…"_

_Grant's words taunt Olivia, but she ignores them and reaches her fingers into the bottle, pulling out a single pill. _

_She tosses the pill into her mouth before taking a swig of orange juice and swallowing. _

"_That's it?" Grant asks. "That's all you're gonna take?"_

_Olivia reaches her fingers back into the bottle, tossing another pill into her mouth and swallowing before repeating the process. She tests Grant, slowing grabbing the pills one after another before he stops her._

"_Woah, woah, I think you've had enough, don't you think?" _

_Olivia hands Grant the glass and bottle, already feeling the buzz as Grant sets each back on the nightstand._

"_Jesus, how many were you gonna take?" Grant asks her. "You tryna kill yourself or somethin'?" _

_Olivia looks straight ahead, not saying one word as the drugs pump through her veins._

"_I gotta take a leak," Grant says, pulling on Olivia's wrist._

_Olivia subconsciously follows behind him as he leads them into the bathroom. He shuts the door behind them before flipping the toilet lid open._

"_Like I said, I trust you… but I don't know if I trust you THAT much… not enough to leave you in the room again by yourself. I already made that mistake once," Grant says while unzipping his pants._

_Grant continues speaking while peeing but his words come out as mumbles to Olivia as she stares at the wall behind the toilet. She hears the toilet flush and snaps out of her daydreaming state. The sink runs and Olivia waits beside Grant as he quickly washes his hands. _

_He pulls her behind him once again, leading them back into the bedroom. Olivia walks back over to the bed, dragging her feet behind her. She slowly sits down and Grant sits beside her._

"_Ya good and relaxed?" Grant asks her._

_His words echo through her mind and she slowly nods her head._

"_Good," Grant responds. "Because you're gonna need to be for what I'm about to do to ya... We both know that for whatever reason, love-making freaks you out. Hopefully these pills loosen you up a bit."_

_Grant presses his lips against hers and Olivia feels his hand on her shoulder as he pushes her onto her back. Olivia's eyes are open for only a few minutes before she drifts off, the last touch she feels is Grant's slimy tongue gliding up her inner thigh. _

She opens her eyes when she feels her neck cramping, pain shooting down to her shoulders. She lifts her head, realizing that she had been resting it on the arm of the living room sofa.

The false buzz that she had experienced from her flashback is completely gone. She sits up, looking around the room before realizing that Elliot had left the apartment hours ago.

She looks over at the bare counter and remembers that she had finished the last pill Elliot had left for her earlier in the day. She looks down at her shaky hands in her lap before reaching forward and grabbing the phone in front of her.

She picks up the phone and dials, waiting for the person on the other end to answer.

REVIEW PLEASE! A lotta lotta stuff happening in the upcoming chapters. Thanks for reading! My new twitter name is FanOfYourUnit


	31. Chapter 31

_**Back soon because many requested it. LOL I'm at work so I will do my grammar, spelling and typo error checks later when I get home. I will try and start chapter 32 as soon as possible. I don't have much planned for the weekend which is bleh for me and good news for you guys I guess. Happy Friday! **_

Olivia anxiously waits, her telephone pressed firmly against her ear as the elevator-like music plays in the background.

"_Thank you for holding, Ms. Benson,"_ the office receptionist says. _"How may I help you?"_

"Umm…Yes, I need a refill on a prescription as soon as possible. On my last visit the doctor prescribed Valium for me… I'm going to need a refill on those," Olivia tells the woman.

"_Our records indicate that your last pick-up was on the 9__th __of October? Is that correct?"_

Olivia pauses, breathing heavily into the phone while searching for a response.

"_Ms. Benson?"_ the woman says, hearing no reply.

"Y- Yes that's…that's correct," Olivia stutters. "It's just that… I had them in the bathroom and like an idiot I left the safety cap off. I wasn't paying much attention and umm…and I knocked the pills right into the toilet."

Olivia cringes, hating how awful and ridiculous her lie had sounded. She waits for a few seconds and swallows hard, hoping that the woman buys her story.

"_Not a problem, Ms. Benson. I get a little clumsy from time to time myself. Will you be picking your prescription up at the same pharmacy?"_

Olivia hesitates, taken back by how simple the refilling process is.

"Um… yeah. I mean… yes, the same one," Olivia responds.

"_Okay, Ms. Benson, we'll make a call to your pharmacy and get that filled for ya right away. Is there anything else we can help you with today?"_ the woman asks in her friendliest voice.

"No, that's it," Olivia responds.

"_Well then, you have a wonderful day, Ms. Benson. And if you have any questions for the doctor, feel free to contact us anytime."_

"Thanks…Thanks a lot," Olivia responds before pressing her thumb against the red button, ending the call and lightly tossing the phone onto her bed.

_**Location: Walgreen's Pharmacy**_

Olivia waits impatiently in line with an elderly woman standing in front of her and a few other customers waiting on the sides of the pharmacy window. She's dressed like a bum, leaving the apartment in only wrinkled jeans and one of Elliot's baggy sweatshirts.

"Jonathon and Kenneth, get over here, right now!" she hears a woman yelling as her two little boys chase each other in between the aisles behind her.

The store is busier than usual, however, Olivia still can't help but to notice a man who is waiting by the pharmacy window, gazing at her. She nervously crosses her arms as the man continues to stare her way.

He is a bit younger than Olivia, maybe in his late thirties or early forties, with light brown hair.

Olivia looks in the opposite direction as the man suddenly begins approaching her. He walks up to her until he is only an arm's length in front of her. Olivia pretends not to notice him until his staring becomes too much, overwhelming her.

"Can I help you with something?" she snaps, facing him.

"Yes, you can actually," the man answers. "My name is Jacob. Yours?"

The man speaks in a charming manner, but the more charming and charismatic he acts, the more Olivia sees him as a threat to her. Her palms become moist with nervous sweat as the man continues to talk to her.

"May I have your name?" the man asks again.

"No, you may not," Olivia tells him, taking one step to the side to distance herself from him.

She is clearly uneasy around him, but the man is persistent as he continues speaking.

"Please, tell me a woman as beautiful as yourself isn't single," the man says.

Olivia focuses her attention to the register behind the counter, choosing to ignore him. She begins breathing hard, slightly paranoid as she feels the man's eyes still on her.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks her.

"Yes," Olivia answers. "Do you always just walk up to strange women in drug stores and hit on them?"

"Well… no, but I just thought-"

The man unintentionally takes a half step closer to Olivia and begins responding before Olivia immediately cuts him off.

"Get the fuck away from me. Back off! NOW!" Olivia snaps harshly.

The man puts his hands up in surrender before slowly backing away.

"I'm sorry, lady. I didn't mean to offend you, alright? I apologize for bothering you."

Olivia looks around and sees the elderly woman, the pharmacy assistant, the little boys and a few others around the window staring at her in shock. She had attracted a crowd and quickly. She looks down to the tile floor in embarrassment as the people return to their previous activities. Olivia squeezes her eyelids closed, her eyes burning as tears threaten to escape. She doesn't know her exact reason for blowing up on the man the way she had. Is it due to the agitation she is experiencing from her body lacking the medication it desires or is it from having a general fear of male strangers that are attracted to her?

Suddenly Olivia hears the pharmacy assistant calling for her.

"Next in line please."

Olivia steps forward, giving the woman behind the counter no eye contact as she speaks.

"I'm here to pick up a prescription. My doctor's office should've called it in. The name's Olivia Benson," she says in a soft tone.

The pharmacy assistant grabs her prescription and Olivia pulls her card from her back pants pocket, paying for it before rushing out of the store.

_**Location: Olivia's apartment**_

Olivia walks up to the door and sees light penetrating through the bottom and onto the hallway carpet. She presses her ear to the door and hears faint footsteps coming from the inside.

"Shit," she curses under her breath.

_Elliot's home._

Olivia opens the paper bag, removing the pill bottle. She folds the bag up into a square and stuffs it into her back pocket. She tucks the pill bottle into the waist of her jeans before pulling the large sweatshirt back down over it.

She keys in and opens the door to see Elliot at the kitchen counter with his cell phone to his ear. When he sees her, he immediately closes his phone before rushing over to her.

"Olivia, where were you?" he asks with panic in his voice.

"I went for a walk… I couldn't sit in this apartment all day. I needed some fresh air," Olivia responds, walking past him.

Elliot's breathing becomes easier as he follows her down the hallway and into her bedroom.

"I was worried about you," Elliot tells her as his voice cracks a bit.

"Worried about what, Elliot?" Olivia asks. "I thought you told me that there was nothing for us to worry about…nothing for me to be scared or afraid of, remember?"

Elliot relaxes more and nods his head.

"That's true… you shouldn't be afraid of anything… but why not call? You disappearing like that would scare anyone," Elliot tells her.

"I'm sorry, Elliot," Olivia says, walking over to the bed and removing her shoes. "You're back early. I didn't feel the need to call because you weren't scheduled to be home for another hour."

Elliot nods his head again and extends his hand out to massage her shoulder.

"I know… I know," he says to her, his tone now calm. "I don't know why I freaked out like that. I just worry about you sometimes, Liv."

"Mm-hm," Olivia mumbles before sitting.

Elliot walks over and sits beside her on the bed.

"So where did you walk to?" he asks, figuring small talk will change the subject and mood.

"Ah, nowhere in particular… I just walked. I wasn't trying to go anywhere special. It was just a walk," Olivia answers.

"Do you feel better now?" Elliot asks, nodding his head and looking into her eyes.

Olivia stands back up, breaking their eye contact.

"Yeah, I feel great now," she responds, faking a smile. "I'll feel even better once I use the bathroom."

With that, Olivia exits the room and Elliot hears the bathroom door closing.

While waiting for Olivia to finish, Elliot looks down at the bed and notices Olivia's home phone resting on the covers. He slants one eyebrow and looks suspiciously out into the hallway, near the bathroom before reaching for the phone and picking it up.

He hears the toilet flushing and quickly presses the redial button and puts the phone to his ear.

"_Doctor Woods' Office, this is Cynthia speaking. How may I help you?"_

Elliot's heart drops into his stomach as he listens to the woman on the opposite end of the line.

"_Hello… is anybody there?"_ the woman asks as Elliot breathes into the phone.

He presses the end button and tosses the phone back onto the bed after he hears the faucet shut off and the bathroom door opening.

Olivia walks back into the bedroom, giving Elliot a nervous stare as he watches her. She sits back on the bed beside Elliot before he begins speaking.

"What else did you do today?" Elliot asks her.

Olivia slowly shakes her head.

"Sadly, not much… watched some TV, ate a little bit…that's about it," Olivia answers.

She watches Elliot's eyes as he does a quick glance down at the bed, which would have gone unnoticed with a single blink. Olivia looks down at the covers and sees the phone that she had tossed onto the bed a couple hours earlier. She stares back up at Elliot, taking a deep breath before nervously shifting her body.

_Could he know already?_ she wonders. _Is he that brilliant to search or redial the phone?_

She had only been gone for a little over a minute, but she decides to be safe and cover her tracks anyway.

"Oh, and I did do one other thing…" Olivia begins.

"Yeah?" Elliot says. "And what was that?"

"I umm… contacted Doctor Woods' office today. You were right, Elliot, this needs to stop. I need help… I need to talk to someone. I called the office and they referred a therapist to me," Olivia says, staring down.

Elliot's eyes go bright and he extends his hand out to rub her back.

"That's great, Liv… you did great," he says in an encouraging tone.

Olivia doesn't face him, and Elliot mistakes her nervousness for embarrassment.

"There's no need to feel ashamed about this, Olivia. You're doing the right thing," Elliot whispers. "Talking to someone is a _good _thing and don't you dare think it's anything less than that. It's the first step toward recovering."

Olivia nods her head, swallowing.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, El."

Elliot smiles before leaning to the side and placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"When's your first appointment?" he asks.

Olivia releases a few fake coughs before answering, stalling as she thinks of a response.

"I got the answering machine, actually," Olivia responds. "I left a message. They'll be calling me back and I guess I will set one up then."

Elliot pats her leg, unintentionally brushing up against a healing bruise on her thigh, causing Olivia to flinch.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I didn't mean to hurt you there. I'm just so proud of you. I just can't believe this, Liv… I can't believe you're being so strong and finally doing this."

"Thanks," Olivia repeats in a soft tone, feeling guilt stricken as Elliot continues to compliment her on her strength and courage.

"C'mon," Elliot says, cocking his head toward the kitchen. "I'll make you some dinner."

Olivia grabs his hand as Elliot leads her out of the bedroom. She sees his face light up and wants to die on the spot as she gradually begins to recognize the cruelty of this lie. She doesn't want to hurt or disappoint Elliot, but sees that she might have done just that as they walk through the hallway and into the kitchen.

_**Please review! Comments, Criticisms, Predictions, Praises and Suggestions all welcome! Thaaaaankssss! **_


	32. Chapter 32

_**Hey, sweeties. Just had a blizzard in Chicago which allowed me to do quite a bit of writing while off work. Snow inspires me somehow. LOL ENJOY reading!**_

After weeks of stalling, she is finally here.

Olivia sits in the cushioned chair, nervous, twiddling her fingers and staring at the woman in front of her. The woman displays her kindheartedness and her gentle soul, smiling and looking at Olivia with a look of encouragement. She is older than Olivia. Olivia guesses that she is in her late fifties or early sixties.

Olivia had to prove to Elliot that she is willing to get help. She doesn't know if she is here to cover up a lie or if she is here because her guilt has been eating away at her. She had lied to Elliot, telling him that she is seeking counseling, hiding the truth about her pharmacy run.

After Olivia had revealed this to him, Elliot could not have looked any happier. His face had lit up and Olivia had seen the tears gather in the corners of his eyes as he rubbed her back, complementing her on a job well done, amazed at her bravery and strength as he stared into her eyes.

Why is she so nervous? It's not like she hasn't done this before. She had been in a room similar to this one months after she had been attacked in that basement by that monster, Harris.

This is different though. This does not compare. The abuses she had experienced when Harris held her captive in that basement are minor compared to the abuses she had endured while with Grant. Truthfully, she had almost forgotten about that basement.

_How could I let this happen to me… twice? _

"What brings you here today, Olivia?" the woman asks her, interrupting her thoughts.

Olivia's right leg begins to shake as she opens her mouth to speak. She isn't ready for this, but knows in her heart that she will never be technically ready for this until she opens herself up.

"I… I need help. I know I need help. I've been through a lot… I don't even know where to start," she answers, soft spoken.

"Well…" the woman begins. "Why don't you start by explaining what happened. Just try your best, but only say what you are comfortable with telling me."

Olivia nods her head.

_Dammit, I should've popped a few more pills before coming here. What the hell was I thinking?_

"Umm… we were looking at this man for the rapes and murders of ten women. And this man… Grant, his name was Grant… He decided that I would be his eleventh victim."

"Mm-hm," the older woman says, nodding her head and encouraging Olivia to continue.

"He stalked me… I had no idea he had been stalking me for weeks at the time. He kidnapped me from my own home… and he held me captive at his friend's house. It was hell," Olivia whispers with tears in her voice.

Her eyes begin to water as she stares down at the evidence of Grant's abuses on her forearms.

"I was there for an entire day. He beat me… he even raped and shot a woman in front of me… before he decided that it was my turn. There was no escaping him. I could tell that his friend wanted to help me, but that help never came… not from him at least. Grant raped me twice that day. It's clear that he hated women because he found any reason to beat me… to torture me. That night my partner came and rescued me. I didn't expect that because I was so sure that I was going to die there," Olivia says.

"I'm glad you got away," the woman tells her. "You were lucky to be rescued. Unfortunately, some women don't have endings similar to yours."

Olivia swallows hard and slowly shakes her head.

If only this woman knew that this was not the _ending._

"It didn't end there," Olivia whispers to her, bowing her head.

The woman clearly feels guilty as she nods her head and apologizes.

"I'm sorry, Olivia, I should not have assumed that. Go on," she tells Olivia in a soft tone.

"It's okay," Olivia says. "Grant escaped that day. They couldn't get to him fast enough. Later on my unit housed me in a hotel and before I even had time to begin recovering or healing, he broke in again. He shot my partner and stole the keycard to my room. I wanted to die the moment I saw him. I wanted him to kill me on the spot, but he wanted more. He took me again and I barely resisted him. I didn't care anymore… I thought my partner was dead so there was really nothing left for me to live for."

"Mm-hm," the woman repeats. "That's understandable. Anybody in your position would feel that way."

"He broke into another innocent person's home and kept me there for…for too long. I didn't care that my life was over or care about practically anything… that was until I was reminded of how painful his abuses were. There was no way of ignoring that pain. He did everything he could to break me… he beat on me, burned me, forced me into bed with him… I was starting to lose count of the number of times he abused me. I was almost getting used to it."

Olivia continues sharing and the woman listens, nodding her head.

"I don't understand why he didn't just kill me. He never made me his eleventh like he claimed because I was nothing like the rest. He got what he wanted from those women and killed them. It seemed like no matter what he did to me or no matter what I did, he could never get enough. He talked about us being together forever…even raising a family. If I would have gotten pregnant by that bastard, I would have found some way to kill myself."

"And is that one of the things you feared while there… getting pregnant?" the counselor asks.

"That was probably the biggest thing that terrified me. The only time I felt any relief is when…" Olivia stops mid-sentence, pausing as she stares into the distance, looking as if she had just seen a ghost.

"Is when what?" the woman asks in a gentle tone.

Olivia's bottom lip begins to tremble and she shakes her head as she lifts herself from her seat.

"I-I… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, I-I can't do this right now…We…we're going to have to reschedule," Olivia tells the woman, stammering her words.

"Is something wrong?" the woman asks, puzzled as she sees Olivia pace back and forth.

"No…I mean yes. I mean no, it's..it's nothing you did wrong. I just need a break. I'll call to reschedule," Olivia tells her, rushing out of the room.

_**Location: Olivia's apartment**_

Elliot looks up from the sofa as Olivia walks into the apartment, removing her jacket and tossing it onto a chair by the kitchen counter.

"Is everything okay?" Elliot asks, standing and walking over to her. "How did your session go?"

"Fine," Olivia speaks quickly while walking back into the hallway and into her bedroom.

Elliot follows behind her with confusion spread across his face. He enters the room and watches her as she removes her shoes.

"Counseling can be hard, Liv," he tells her. "But you're doing the right thing. It's always difficult to talk to someone for the first time."

Olivia sits on the bed and crosses her arms.

"That's not it," she whispers to him.

Elliot approaches Olivia and sits beside her.

"Then what is it?" Elliot asks. "What's wrong? Did it bring up some painful memories…are you hurting?"

Olivia shakes her head and hugs her arms tighter around her body.

"I've been so busy dealing with my issues, Elliot...I've been struggling with pills, trying to hide things from you, and struggling to keep Grant out of my memories. I was so busy with all of that…that I failed to realize…" Olivia continues, taking pauses between her words.

"Failed to realize what, Liv?"

"The counselor asked me something today that I haven't even been thinking about. How could I _not _think about this, El?" Olivia says, clearly frustrated with herself.

"Think about what?" Elliot asks louder.

He doesn't want to rush her, but his anxiety is tearing him up inside. He's impatient as he stares into Olivia's eyes.

"Elliot, it's been over a month… I'm late…I'm days late," Olivia whispers. "I'm practically never late."

Elliot looks puzzled until he raises his eyebrows, realizing what Olivia is referring to.

"Your period? You haven't had a period?" Elliot asks her.

Olivia shakes her head as tears gather in her eyes.

"No, I haven't," she answers, her voice cracking. "How could this happen to me, Elliot? This… this can't be happening. I've been through enough already."

Olivia stares at Elliot and stops speaking as she sees his bottom jaw drop. He looks as if he had just gotten a revelation as his mouth remains open.

"Liv… first, let's wait and see before panicking. It could be the stress that is messing up your cycle. You never know. And secondly, if you are pregnant, you can't assume it's Grant's."

Olivia's eyelids flutter as she stares at Elliot.

"We had sex, Liv… and unlike the times before, we didn't use any protection and you haven't been on the pill, have you? You can't think the worst," Elliot tells her.

Olivia's mouth cracks open and her breathing slows as she remembers their night of passion, the night she begged for Elliot's touch, for his love.

"If you are pregnant, Liv, that baby can very well be mine. If anything, it most likely is mine. Grant doesn't have any children that we know off. Maybe he wasn't able to have kids. Me on the other hand…"

Olivia thinks back to her captivity. She remembers the day when she got her period and how angry Grant had become over it and how sensitive he had been when the topic of children had been brought up. The first night Olivia had been raped in that elderly woman's home that Grant had held her captive in, she had pleaded with him, practically begging Grant to use some protection.

Olivia shakes her head, having mixed feelings as she continues to think.

"You could be right, Elliot…I-I just don't know," Olivia whispers.

"Like I said, Liv, don't assume the worst. That could explain some of Grant's hatred and rage… maybe the man couldn't have kids...Maybe he took his anger out on women. Instilling that fear into women was probably an accomplishment for him. He probably wanted you to think that you could get pregnant by him. Maybe he got a thrill out of that," Elliot suggests.

Olivia remembers back again, hearing Grant's raspy, sadistic voice as he tells her that he wants to live with her forever and begin a family.

"You could be right," Olivia whispers, repeating herself.

"Until we know that you are pregnant, let's assume you're not. Don't destroy yourself thinking about this. And until you know for _sure_ that you're pregnant and for sure that it is Grant's, assume that it is mine. We don't even know if Grant was able to have kids, and I'm even doubting that he could. We do know, however that I can have kids," Elliot says.

"Yeah, no shit," Olivia jokes, somewhat surprising herself. "How many kids do you have now? I've lost count."

Elliot cracks a smile while rubbing her shoulder gently.

"Very funny," he tells her. "Now… the next step is for us to take a pregnancy test. Then we'll decide where to go from there."

"_Us_?" Olivia says. "You're not taking the test, I am. And it sounds like you've already decided that the kid is yours."

Elliot forces out a laugh and shakes his head.

"I'm not deciding anything," he tells her. "I'll start worrying about all of that once we get the results back."

Olivia nods and her smile slowly disappears as she begins to think about the possibilities again.

"I'm scared, Elliot. What if…?"

Elliot grabs her hand and massages her palm.

"Don't think about the 'what if's' right now. I'm here with you, Liv. You'll be able to handle whatever comes your way. You're a strong woman as it is and with me here, there's even less to worry about. Whichever way this goes, I'll take care of you. Don't worry yourself sick," Elliot reassures her.

Olivia brings her hands to her stomach and holds her belly, wondering if there is a growing baby inside her.

"What if it _is_ yours, Elliot?" she whispers, staring nervously into his eyes.

"Then I couldn't be happier," Elliot tells her, bringing his thumb up to wipe the tears that had escaped. "I love you, Olivia, you know that. Don't you dare think that I wouldn't want a child with you. I couldn't even imagine being upset over that. You mean too much to me."

Olivia relaxes slightly, noticeably relieved by Elliot's response. More tears escape from her eyes, but these tears are different. They're tears of happiness and love, not of sadness and fear.

_**Later that evening**_

Olivia exits the bathroom and enters her bedroom. Elliot sits on the bed and watches as she sets the test on the nightstand next to her bed.

"We gotta give it a couple minutes," Olivia says, sitting beside Elliot.

They wait in silence and Olivia even hears the leaky faucet dripping all the way from the bathroom as she and Elliot remain sitting.

"I think it's time," Elliot tells her after minutes of waiting. "Should I look or do you want to look first?"

"Just tell me," Olivia says, bowing her head. "I don't wanna see it."

Elliot picks up the test and Olivia already knows the results when she doesn't hear a sigh of relief coming from Elliot.

"It's positive," Elliot announces. "Your instincts were right."

Olivia nods her head.

"I knew it…. I-I just knew it," she responds.

She has been assuming that she is pregnant since her afternoon session, but is still in shock as she peeks down at the positive strips.

"What now?" she whispers.

"We'll get some rest," Elliot responds. "Let's not make any decisions tonight. Sleep on it and we'll talk in the morning."

Olivia barely hears his response as she continues to sit, in shock of the results.

"This could either be the best day of my life… or one of the worst. I have no idea, Elliot. I've always wanted a child… but not this way," she whispers to him, her voice shaky as she speaks. "Why now?"

"I understand," Elliot says, comforting her. "But whatever happens, we'll get through it, Liv. You've already been through the worst part. This could be a good thing. Don't think that way. We'll figure out what we're going to do in the upcoming days."

Elliot stands and offers Olivia his hand as he pulls her up into the standing position. He pulls back the covers and helps Olivia lay down as he tucks her in under the covers. Elliot walks around the bed and climbs in, slipping beneath the covers with her.

"Olivia, your life is only going to get better from here," Elliot whispers in her ear while wrapping his arm around her. "You make all the decisions now. You have that power back. And we both have what we've always wanted… we have each other. I'm never going to leave you. I love you…very much."

"I love you too," Olivia whispers, closing her eyes and attempting to block out any thoughts or possibilities of Grant's child being inside her. She leans back against Elliot's chest, relaxing as she falls asleep against him.

_**I will update very soon if I'm happy with the amount of reviews. I got nothing to do manana (tomorrow) or the day after but not gonna lie… it's kinda hard to update with very little comments/critiques. Reviews are love 3 As always, thanks for reading! **_


	33. Chapter 33

**I HAVEN'T RESPONDED TO REVIEWS/COMMENTS IN A WHILE…**

"_**This is so good. Took me two days to get through all 32 chapters but I did and when there was no next button I wanted to scream." **_**-Drusilla Braun**

**WARNING: The same thing will happen after this chapter. LOL Prepare yourself. :)**

"_**If you don't post any more chapters, that's fine with us. Please, people, stop reviewing, even the negative reviews! Don't encourage her. Everything you are posting right now on your Twitter is proof that you can't take criticism.**_** -TalentedPeoplewithBrains**

**Yeah you're so right. You're so talented and brainy… it amazes me. You win, intelligent one. And I'll pretend NOT to be creeped out by you hating me, yet stalking my twitter page. I would tell you to "get a life" but I see that this IS your life so….. that'd be kinda awkward, huh? 0_0 **

"_**There's constructive criticism and then there's negative criticism wrapped up in the name of constructive criticism or "critiquing". There's a comment below mine that could have easily been made in a way that encouraged the writer, offered her insight to what made the story difficult for that particular individual to read. Instead, it's just a bunch of insults hiding behind the cover of "critiquing" and it's ridiculous. If the fiction bothers you that bad, don't read it. Simple as that. If you choose to read it up to the 32nd chapter and then offer some BS about how badly it's written and uncomfortable it is to read, you make no sense." **_**-stumbledupon**

**Exactly :)... which is why I delete immediately after reading just the first sentence or two and identifying that it is in fact a troll, not a critic. Thanks for this! **

"You have a visitor," the corrections officer informs him while securing his handcuffs.

The CO shuts the bar door to his cell and cocks his head toward the North end of the prison, indicating which direction they are headed.

He follows the guard's lead as they walk through the dim hallways. His head remains bowed as he drags his feet along the gray concrete floors.

The CO stops in front of a lit room and the prisoner lifts his head up, staring at the woman in disbelief as she remains seated at a table in the center of the room.

His eyes are wide open and his jaw is dropped as he stammers his words.

"O-Ol-Olivia."

"Hello, Roy," Olivia responds, a stern expression on her face as she stares into his eyes.

Guilt immediately overtakes him and he swallows hard before speaking again.

"Wha- What are you doing here?" Roy asks her.

"I need your help," Olivia responds.

Roy turns his head slightly and sees a familiar face sitting beside her.

"Why's he here?" Roy asks.

"He's my partner. He's here for support," Olivia tells him.

Roy looks at Elliot's face and swallows again, noticing the fury and rage in Elliot's eyes. _He hates him_. Roy knows by Elliot's looks that if he says one wrong word to her that Elliot would jump across the table and be on him in an instant.

"Are you gonna help her or what?" Elliot asks Roy, his tone serious.

"Ye-Yeah… sure, I'll do whatever she needs," Roy responds.

The CO releases his wrists and Roy walks slowly over to the table before lowering himself into the seat across from them.

Roy nervously looks into Olivia's eyes before tilting his head down and noticing a healed gash on her forearm.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, shaking his head. "I…I should've helped."

"We're not here for an apology," Elliot interrupts him.

"I'll tell you whatever you need to know," Roy responds, facing Elliot. "But please... let me speak first."

He stares back at Olivia and shakes his head again.

"I was wrong. Grant did terrible things to you and I did nothing about it. I knew what was going on and I didn't help you… I wasn't being a man. Grant scared me and I should not have given in to his threats," Roy tells her.

Olivia nods her head slowly and tears begin to gather in the corners of her eyes as Roy's presence brings back memories of the abuses she endured at that house.

She remembers Roy seeing her naked and battered body, and the empathetic look on Roy's face as he looked down at her on the bed, beneath Grant's arm. She remembers Roy's complete shock when Grant had first introduced them and had forced her into that house. Mostly, she remembers believing Roy wanting to help her, but feeling cornered by Grant's threats.

None of this matters though. She tries her best to shake away those memories. She refuses to feel sorry for this piece of scum. If she had been in Roy's shoes, she would have stepped up to the plate, no question.

A real man doesn't stand around and watch as a woman is being abused in front of him. A real man would have taken her out of harm's way like Elliot did. Not just a man, but any decent human being would have.

"You need to understand, Olivia...I thought he was bringing some junkie to the house… or some street whore. I know that doesn't make my actions any better, but you have to understand that I never wanted him to hurt you… Ever," Roy continues.

Olivia nods her head again and that same feeling of humiliation returns as she remembers Roy being a witness to Grant's tortures and hearing her screams for help.

"I was going to stop him. That same night I was going to do something and take you away… I just didn't know what yet. I was planning to help you, honestly, but I never should have put you in that position in the first place. I could have called the cops, but I didn't. I was trying to save my own ass at the same time that I was trying to help you. I was selfish… I'm so pathetic. This is all my fault, everything that happened to you is my fault."

Olivia doesn't verbally disagree, but shakes her head as she watches him bow his. Roy truly is scum, but his actions don't compare to what Grant had done. Even if Roy had denied Olivia and Grant's company in the very beginning, Olivia knows that Grant would have found some other way of holding her captive.

"You're right, you were pathetic," Elliot tells him. "You didn't help her then, but if you want to help her now, you'll talk... you will answer our questions."

Roy nods his head in agreement.

"Yeah… like I said, I'll do anything."

"You were Grant's best friend," Olivia begins. "You must know a lot about him…"

"Yeah, we were like brothers. I hate to admit that now, but we were very close. I even lived with Grant for a while…quite sometime. There were really no secrets between us because we were both criminals," Roy responds. "And we had each other's backs. Always."

"Did Grant ever share personal things with you?" Elliot asks him. "Maybe even medical things?"

Roy squints his eyes as he thinks.

"Umm… yeah, he was sick a few times…never anything serious," Roy responds, shaking his head. "He had the flu once…And a couple years ago Grant got a real bad cut on his arm while doing some utility work in the kitchen. I think he got a few stitches for that… but like I said, nothing serious."

"Aside from being sick with the flu or going in for injuries, did Grant ever tell you any other bad medical news? Did he ever share any test results with you?" Elliot asks.

Roy looks at him in confusion and shakes his head.

"What are you gettin' at? Maybe if I knew what you were talking about I could help you. What does Grant's medical history have to do with helping her?" Roy asks as he glances over at Olivia.

Roy faces her once again and takes in a deep breath as he guesses their reason for visiting him.

"If you're worried about Grant having any diseases, I don't think you have to worry at all. To my knowledge, Grant didn't have HIV or STD's... or any of that stuff. Is that what this is about?" Roy asks, staring into her eyes.

Olivia remains silent, hesitant to speak as Roy keeps his eyes on her.

"If you're worried about that, why not just go get tested?" Roy asks.

Elliot slams his fist on the table, causing Roy to jump slightly.

"That isn't why we're here," Elliot says in a sharp tone.

"Well maybe if you told me…" Roy begins before Olivia cuts him off.

"Was Grant able to have kids?" she asks him suddenly.

Roy looks at her in surprise and his eyes slowly make their way down to Olivia's stomach.

"Oh my God," Roy whispers, barely audible.

Elliot slants one eyebrow at him as he watches his reaction.

"What the hell does that mean?" Elliot asks him. "You gonna answer the damn question or not?"

Roy shakes his head as he looks back up at them.

"I-I'm so sorry, Olivia… I don't know how this happened to you. As far as I knew, Grant couldn't have kids. Bu- but if you're…. pregnant… I guess the doctors were wrong," Roy answers, stuttering.

Olivia inhales deeply before releasing a shaky breath. She's more surprised than relieved and shakes her head in disbelief before responding to Roy's claim.

"Are you sure, Roy?" Olivia asks him, her eyes watery as she speaks.

"Well, I thought I was," Roy responds. "But...I guess I was wrong."

Elliot firmly grabs Olivia's hand beneath the table and feels the nervous sweat on her palm as he caresses the back of her hand, comforting her.

"Roy, what caused you to think this about Grant?" Elliot asks him. "Why were you so sure before?"

"Oh, I didn't assume it. It came directly from Grant's mouth. He came home one day from what I thought was a routine check-up… he was really upset about it. He told me that the docs said he couldn't have kids. He pretended that it didn't bother him, but I knew inside that it did. Grant and his girl, Diana tried for months to get pregnant….this was before I moved in with him. They tried again and again, but it just never happened. Truthfully I think that's why Diana left him…because she wanted more kids. She already had a kid of her own, but wanted another and Grant just couldn't give her that."

Olivia continues to listen to Roy's story and wipes away a stray tear as it glides down her cheek. She isn't sad, but Roy's story overwhelms her. She's happy, but is unable to display that happiness with a smile.

"That really upset Grant too," Roy continues. "He felt used by her. He didn't date a single woman after that because I think that trust was broken. He loved Diana and talked all the time about how they were soulmates… I guess Diana didn't feel the same way because she left him."

"We're done here," Elliot says, signaling to the corrections officer. "You've told us everything we need to know."

"I'm really sorry," Roy repeats. "I don't know how this happened."

"It didn't," Olivia responds before lifting herself from her seat.

Roy stares at her, puzzled by her response as the CO reaches under his arm and lifts him from his seat.

Roy looks back and forth, from Elliot to Olivia before nodding his head in understanding.

He suddenly realizes that Olivia wouldn't be here had she only had sex with Grant. There would be nothing left to wonder or investigate if Grant had been her only and last.

"Thank you," Olivia mouths to Roy as the CO walks him backwards and out of the room.

He isn't able to hear her speak, but understands her, and his heart aches when he sees how forgiving she is. He feels even worse about himself. He doesn't deserve to be thanked and he knows it.

"I'm sorry," he mouths one more time before disappearing into the dim prison hallways.

_**Location: Olivia's apartment**_

"I'm done with this," Olivia speaks softly as she releases the bottle from her hand, dropping it into the trash bin near the kitchen counter.

Elliot stares at her in amazement as he sees her throw away the things that she's been struggling with for nearly two months.

"Is it that easy?" Elliot asks.

Elliot had seen her throw away the pills just weeks before, but the pills had somehow managed to show up again in the apartment just days later.

Olivia nods her head as she walks over to him.

"I've been working on it for a while, limiting my dosage... but now I'm sure. It's over," Olivia responds.

Elliot is at a loss for words as he hears her utter those few words.

"This is your baby inside me, Elliot. I have no doubts about that now. I'm keeping it... and there's not a chance in hell that I would risk its life or risk its health. I would never do that."

Elliot nods and gently grabs her hand before speaking, his touch causing Olivia's entire arm to tingle.

"I'm proud of you," Elliot whispers to her, his light blue eyes glowing as he stares down at her.

Elliot had said these words to her before, but under false pretenses. Olivia had lied to Elliot, over and over again about stopping for good, but this time she knows she means it.

Elliot knows she is being truthful by her tone and her serious expression.

In past weeks, Olivia had made similar claims, but only after seeing that Elliot had become clearly upset with her for abusing the prescriptions. She had promised Elliot more than once that she would work on stopping, but only to avoid the arguments and Elliot's lecturing.

"I'm glad it's over," Elliot tells her. "You deserve to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you."

Olivia nods her head before gripping her hand around his and walking toward the bedroom, Elliot following closely behind her.

They enter the bedroom and Olivia releases his hand, stepping back as she works on the buttons of her top.

"What are you doing?" Elliot asks her, suprised by her sudden assertiveness.

"You said you wanted me to be happy...this is what I want right now," Olivia responds. "Don't you?"

Elliot watches her fingers as they slowly make their way down her top, from button to button and he gasps lightly as her shirt drops to the floor.

_He isn't used to this. _Olivia's sexuality has been something Elliot's been patient with. He loves her too much to rush her into anything, but the lustful look in her eyes allows Elliot to see that she is ready and more than willing.

Elliot approaches her and places a soft kiss on her head as she works on the button to her pants.

"Is this a celebration?" he whispers to her, tucking his hands under his shirt, pulling it up and over his head before tossing it to the floor.

"If that's what you wanna call it," Olivia responds, whispering.

In weeks prior to this, Elliot's only concern had been Olivia's well-being and health. She had come on to him before, and more than once, but only as a tactic to distract him from focusing on her actual problems. _The drugs._

Olivia steps backwards and lowers herself onto the bed before lying on her back.

Sex had become something rare in past weeks, and Elliot's jaw drops when he sees Olivia's fully nude body, practically forgetting how beautiful she truly is.

Elliot walks over to the side of the bed and works on his button and zipper while gazing down at her.

"This is what you really want?" Elliot asks, knowing that she does, but needing a verbal confirmation.

"Yes...I want you," Olivia whispers, cracking a tiny smile before watching Elliot's pants and underwear drop to the floor.

Elliot crawls into the bed and onto Olivia, balancing some of his body weight on his elbows as he lies on top of her.

Olivia extends her arms and hands out, pulling Elliot in for a kiss.

While kissing her, Elliot reaches his arm between their bare bodies and grabs onto the base of his cock.

He's already rock hard and amazed at how quickly his body responds to Olivia's advances.

Not wasting another moment, he pushes inside her and Olivia whimpers in pleasure as Elliot fills her.

"Elliot," she speaks softly, her voice barely carrying.

Elliot remembers their nights of love and passion, and the heat rises inside him as he hears that familiar soft voice calling out his name.

Elliot pulls his cock completely out of Olivia before slowly pushing back inside her.

That one short second that he is out of her is torture to Olivia, and she grabs her hands around his strong ass before pulling down on Elliot, causing him to go even deeper inside her than he had intended.

Elliot releases a moan as Olivia's insides tighten around him.

He knows she must be truly happy because this time is different from the last.

There is no hesitation or fear, she is open to him and aggressive as her hands remain securely gripped on Elliot's muscular ass.

Elliot hears Olivia's moans and knows she wants more of him.

Still inside Olivia, he lifts his head before placing his lips around her round breasts, massaging each with his tongue as he goes from one breast to the other.

He leans back down and signals for Olivia to lift her ass slightly, digging his hands beneath her.

Olivia presses the soles of her feet into the covered mattress and lifts her lower body, allowing Elliot easy access to her behind.

Elliot cups his palms and fingers around each ass cheek before Olivia relaxes, slowly dropping her lower body back down onto the mattress.

Elliot pulls himself halfway out of her before driving his cock deeper inside her, this time with both of their hands gripping each other's asses.

A wave of pleasure shoots through Olivia's body as she feels Elliot's hard manhood massaging her insides.

Olivia's lips part and her moans become longer and more consistent as Elliot begins repeating his motions, moving in and out of her.

Elliot's chest presses down on Olivia's nipples and both of their fronts become sticky with sweat as they rub up against each other.

Olivia lifts her legs, and once again places the soles of her feet on the covered mattress, spreading her legs even wider as Elliot continues to move inside her.

She releases her hands from his ass and claws her fingernails into the covers beneath them, holding in her screams as one orgasm after another ripples through her body.

Elliot looks down and sees the stiffness on her face as she tries to hold it all in.

He needs to hear her. Furthermore, he wants to make this one of the best sexual experiences she has ever had. He wants her completely happy and knows that she can't reach full sexual gratification by holding anything in.

He shifts his body slightly and drives into her again at a different angle. He has Olivia's pleasure spots memorized and knows she won't be able to hold her screams in if he finds the perfect touch. He pulls out before thrusting back into her, hitting the same spot, but with a swifter motion.

Olivia's body jolts and she screams in pleasure as she begins quickly approaching her climax.

Elliot squeezes his hands around her ass and pulls their bodies toward one another, driving inside her for the final few times.

"Liv," he moans as her insides swallow his cock.

The pleasure overwhelms him and Elliot pushes into her for the final time before becoming weak and dropping down on top of her.

Olivia feels the warm breeze on her neck as Elliot breathes hard, his head resting above her shoulders.

Knowing that Olivia won't be able to catch her breath with his full weight on top of her, Elliot rolls his body off of hers.

Olivia's chest rises and falls with each shallow breath.

While lying by her side Elliot remembers that what they experienced tonight and more than a month before is the reason they are able to bring a new life into this world.

Elliot relaxes and turns his head to the left, studying Olivia's face and realizing that she is truly happy today.

He turns on his side and wraps his strong arm around her waist.

"You were wonderful, Liv."

Elliot silently prays that the days to come will be similar to this one, not just the romance, but the absolute happiness. He smiles and closes his eyes as Olivia grabs his hand and begins playing with his fingers as she always had in the past.

Tonight had proved to be another step in her path to recovery. Elliot knows that with time, the days following this one will only get better.

_**Please review review review! Thanks for reading. I love you all for being so amazing! Also, my twitter is FanOfYourUnit now. More chapters to come... still an amazing ride ahead.**_


	34. Chapter 34

_**Hey, guys! Wasn't this week's SVU amazing? Not. Hopefully this update will make up for the garbage that was "Bully." Pfft. I know I say this often, but I haven't proof read this. I'm at work and I haven't had time lately, but I'll get around to it when I get home… I just decided to post because people have requested it. I said I'm not done with proof reading to which a follower responded, "I don't fucking care! Post it!" LOL Hopefully there's not many mistakes at all…if there are THREE typos, please don't beat me like that boss did her employees in "Bully". LOL I kid, I kid….**_

She sits in her bedroom, alone and waiting for Elliot's return. It is another late start to the morning, but Olivia doesn't mind, figuring that rest is better for the baby.

"_He told me that the docs said he couldn't have kids. He pretended that it didn't bother him, but I knew inside that it did."_

Roy's words echo through her mind as she sits in her bedroom, alone and anticipating Elliot's return home. As much as she loves him, Olivia despises how weak she feels when Elliot isn't near her. Her entire adult life, she has been independent and has seldom needed another man's presence to feel secure.

She's on a path to recovery and had ended her pill abuse completely, but can't help but to wonder if she is too damaged to bring a child into this world or too fragile.

Olivia stares into the distance and thinks as she attempts to remember the last time she felt content without Elliot by her side.

In previous months, when she had been abusing her medication, her attention had been on the buzz and that high she felt that wiped away those painful memories. Even when the memories had remained, the drugs made her so relaxed that it didn't even matter. Nothing mattered.

Now Olivia sits on her bed, wondering what type of mother she will be. Mothers set examples for their children. _What kind of child wants a mom who is constantly haunted by her past? _

Olivia looks around for a distraction as her thoughts jump back and forth, from Roy's last words to her about Grant to the fears she has about motherhood.

"_Truthfully, I think that's why Diana left him…because she wanted more kids. That really upset Grant too. He felt used by her. He didn't date a single woman after that because I think that trust was broken."_

Olivia's hate for Grant is strong, even after his death. Still, she tortures herself, attempting to understand the monster that he had been.

Roy's words to her continue to make more sense as she looks back and realizes that Grant had been emotionally injured from his experience with Diana all along. She had not put the pieces together before, knowing very little about his past relationships.

She thinks further and convinces herself that there has to be more to this story. _How does rejection by the one you loved turn you into a psychopath, a serial killer?_

Olivia lies down on her pillow and closes her eyes to clear her thoughts. Her attempt at forgetting everything is unsuccessful as she continues to wonder. Olivia figures that Grant must have had mother issues, as well as she recalls her experience and Grant's deep hatred for women.

"_Just say it…admit it, you're fucking happy," Grant says, gritting though his teeth. _

"_But I'm not," Olivia responds timidly, her voice cracking as Grant stands beside the bed._

_It is the second day of her period, and Grant had finally brought her the supplies she desperately needed. Had she known that Grant would return in a rage, she would have rejected his request when he had first offered to buy her the tampons. _

"_You think I'm fucking stupid, don't you? You really want me to believe that you want to have my child?" Grant asks, raising his voice._

_Olivia shrinks back toward the headboard, but doesn't answer, not knowing how to respond to make this situation any better, to diffuse his rage._

"_You answer me, you fucking cunt. When I ask you something, you answer," Grant growls, looking directly into her brown, wet eyes._

_Olivia swallows hard and tries to hold her tears back as she searches her mind for an acceptable response. She had never been so broken. She's a wreck, her eyes wet with tears as she opens her mouth to speak. _

"_I'm here, Grant. Like you said, I'm yours now. I mean it, I'm not happy about this. I'm sorry," Olivia whispers through her tears._

_She knows to keep her tone soft because anything louder means attitude according to Grant. _

"_You're not happy about this? Then why apologize?" Grant asks her._

_Olivia shakes her head. She wonders how the constant stress and fear hasn't killed her yet. _

"_Because you're angry, Grant... I honestly don't know what else to say," Olivia looks into his eyes and sees that he is no calmer than before. _

_She doesn't know why she even tries, none of her responses ever making a difference no matter how she phrases it. _

"_So you just make up shit to make me happy?" Grant retorts. "You're pathetic… a lying cunt."_

_Olivia bows her head, giving up and waiting for the next slap or punch, whichever comes first._

"_Please don't…" she says as a last attempt, but barely audible._

_She winces as she suddenly feels Grant's large hand gripping around the healing burn on her arm. _

"_Grant, don't…why…?" she cries softly as he yanks her from the bed._

_Olivia doesn't have the opportunity to say anything more before feeling her back crash into the wall. It had happened entirely too fast, in too swift of a motion for her to understand how she had ended up in the position she is now in. She tries to catch her breath after being winded, staring into Grant's cold eyes as he moves closer to her._

_When she had been working, locking up one rapist after another, she thought she understood hate. She now knows what true hate is as Grant stares into her eyes, heartless as he watches her recoil. _

_Olivia doesn't bother extending her arms out this time around, knowing it will do little good. She bows her head and notices the bruises along her arms that had been created after holding them up in self-defense._

_She bites down onto her bottom lip as Grant closes in on the distance between them. She feels that this will somehow prepare her for whatever is to come. _

_Her heart pounds hard and she nearly wishes for the first strike to come sooner because the wait tortures her. _

"_I'm sorry… I want to have a child with you," she pleads, knowing inside that Grant will be unfazed by it. _

_Each time she hopes for a change in Grant, that for once he would decide against abusing her, causing her further pain. _

"_You're a liar. You're probably thinking that I can't even have kids… that I'm not man enough!" Grand responds. _

_Olivia shakes her head and pleads with her eyes before speaking again._

"_That's not true," Olivia says in between shallow breaths. "Pl- Please, it's not my fault that this has hap- happened. Don't take it out on me."_

"_Yeah, but you're smiling inside… you're glad it happened," Grant says before punching his fist into the wall, above Olivia's left shoulder._

_Olivia jolts, but is momentarily relieved that Grant had chosen the wall over her face as she turns her head slightly to see the dent in the wall. _

_Olivia expects the next punch to be aimed at her and is caught off guard as Grant wraps his hands around her neck. _

_Olivia begins clawing at his hands, and her legs go weak as she struggles for oxygen._

"_Plea-" is the only thing that escapes her lips as Grant's grip around her neck becomes tighter._

_Olivia unintentionally kicks her right leg into the wall as she struggles beneath his grip, her feet kicking and whipping around like a wild animal as her face turns bright red. _

_The loss of oxygen slows her motions and Grant releases her neck after seeing how weak she had become. _

_Olivia drops to the floor and her hands immediately go for her neck, coughing as she attempts to suck as much oxygen back into her lungs as she can._

"_You're nothing but a liar…a whore," she hears Grant say from above her. _

_She can't tell if this is the beginning or the end of her session with Grant, but knows that her body can't take anything further than this, feeling weak as she sits on the floor, slouched up against the wall. _

"_Just…just tell me what you want me to do or say…just…please," Olivia pants out._

"_That's just it," Grant answers. "I shouldn't have to tell you anything. You should know what do by now , Olivia." _

_Olivia has known about Grant and had been through his abuses far too long to not understand that this is all apart of his psychological and emotional torture. She knows there is no right or correct way. He will always be unhappy. _

"_Get up," Grant orders._

_Olivia's hands shake around her neck. She finally removes them and Grant slants one eyebrow, somewhat surprised by the damage he had caused. _

_Olivia's legs tremble beneath her as she uses the wall to stand, rising slowly. _

_Grant gently wraps his hand around Olivia's wrist and pulls her forward, bringing her in for a hug. Grant snakes his arms around her, and Olivia's ear rests on his chest as she hears his heart pounding. _

_Grant breaks the hug before squatting down and picking up the plastic bag from off of the floor._

_He hands her the bag and cocks his head in the direction of the bathroom. _

"_Go take care of yourself," he tells her, his tone almost gentle. _

_Olivia blinks and remains where she is, wondering if this is another one of Grant's tests._

"_Now," Grant says more firmly, nudging her._

_Olivia turns and walks out of the room and into the bathroom. When she enters, she closes the door behind her before dropping the plastic bag to the ground, not even realizing she had released it from her hand. _

_She approaches the toilet before slowly pulling her pants down her waist and sitting. She reaches into the seat of her pants and removes the ripped up cloth shirt she had been using to contain the blood. Olivia thoroughly wipes herself before opening the box and one of the packages, inserting the tampon, and struggling a bit as her hands tremble. _

_She's sickened by her own blood and her situation in general as she balls the cloth up and places it on the side of the sink. She hears Grant's footsteps walking through the hallway and freezes before hearing him continue toward the kitchen. _

_She turns on the faucet before lifting her heavy head up and staring into the mirror. She releases a terrified gasp as she examines her neck and sees the red rings around it, created by Grant's hands. _

"_C'mon, Olivia," she hears Grant call._

_Olivia places her hand underneath the faucet and rubs them together before bending over and splashing her face. She grabs the towel on the rack behind her and dries off any evidence of tears on her cheeks and beneath her eyes._

_She looks down at the cloth and debates whether to bring it with her or leave it on the sink, knowing that she could be punished for it either way. _

_She grabs the clean, dry part of the cloth and opens the door, heading for the kitchen. _

_When she enters Grant is standing in the middle of the room._

"_All better?" he asks. _

_Olivia nods her head before slowly lifting the cloth up. _

"_Wh- What do you want me to do with this?" Olivia whispers._

"_What do you think?" Grant spits. "Throw it in the fucking garbage."_

_Olivia knows this is the obvious answer, but also realizes that no answer she concludes is correct. She creeps over to the trash can before opening the lid and releasing the shirt. _

"_You doing okay?" she hears him ask, but his tone sounds different. _

_This tone is soft and she hears a hint of concern in it._

"Liv, you doing okay?"

Olivia squints her eyes open and sees Elliot standing above her. She shoots up and frantically looks around the room, taking in her actual surroundings.

"You okay?" Elliot asks again.

"Yeah," Olivia gasps as she faces Elliot.

Elliot sees her shirt sticking to her body and sweat dripping down her temple as she takes in each deep, shaky breath.

"You don't look okay," Elliot says gently. "You wanna talk?"

Olivia scans the room once more before answering him.

"Elliot, I don't think I can do this," Olivia panics.

"Sshhh, shhh, it's okay, it's okay…. Do what Liv?" He soothes.

Olivia is unable to say the words. What will he think of her?

"Elliot, children deserve good moms. An- and I'm so screwed up. I have too many issues."

Elliot knows he needs to calm her before continuing this conversation. He rushes into the bathroom and Olivia hears the sink running as Elliot grabs a face cloth and places it under the falling water.

He re-enters the room with a damp, cool face cloth and gently wipes the sweat off her face while brushing back the single strands of hair that are sticking to her forehead.

Olivia closes her eyes as she feels the coolness on her skin and her breathing slows.

"Now start over," Elliot tells her. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Elliot, I don't know what to do. How can I bring a child into this world when I'm still afraid to be alone… when what Grant did is still a part of me? How can I bring a kid into that?"

Elliot nods as he listens.

"This is normal, Liv. It's normal to have these worries, and all first time mothers do. Your situation is just a lot different because of what you've been through. You're going to make a great mom, do you hear me?" Elliot comforts as he slowly takes the cloth away from her face.

"How do you know?" Olivia asks softly.

"Because I've seen the way you interact with kids. You're great, Liv. And what makes a great mom is her love for her child which I know you have…that's all you need."

Olivia listens to him and tries to believe it all, but quickly remembers the nightmare she had been reliving before Elliot had arrived.

"You can't see your progress because you underestimate yourself, Liv. Do you not see how incredible it is that you've already kicked the drugs and that you've been getting help? Your recovery can only go up from here. You're doing so well," Elliot tells her.

Olivia nods her head, but not necessarily because she agrees about her progress, but because she didn't want Elliot feeling as if his comforting and encouraging words are useless.

"Is this what you were dreaming about? Is this why you're sweating?" Elliot asks.

Olivia nods her head once more. She had already worried Elliot enough and feels there is no need to bring up her nightmare about Grant to worry him any further.

"Don't be silly," Elliot smirks. "You're going to make a great mom, Liv. I've always known this about you…if only _you _could see it."

Olivia wants to believe each word, but her doubts remain as she imagines raising a child while steadily being haunted by her vivid memories.

_**Please review! That is all….**_


	35. Chapter 35

_**Back. Apologies for the wait :) I got into youtube vidding again and couldn't stop. The EO forces were against me. Thanks for understanding. LOL….**_

"How do you wanna go about doing this?" Elliot asks her as he sits beside her on the sofa.

"I don't…" Olivia answers, but inside she knows that this isn't an option.

"Liv, people are going to find out eventually. You can only go on for so long before people start to notice the growing beach ball beneath your shirt," Elliot says, half joking.

Olivia looks down at her stomach, sighing as she decides that she can no longer consider it a "baby bump" because of its size.

She had been finding any excuse over past months to stall telling others, delaying the inevitable.

"Elliot… your divorce isn't even final yet. We should wait. What will everyone think of us?"Olivia whispers to him.

Elliot looks into her eyes, hating the discomfort she is feeling. Having a child is supposed to be a wonderful thing and revealing the news, the happiest moment in a woman's life. He realizes that this won't be easy for either one of them, but knows that it needs to be done.

"Liv, this won't confirm anything that people didn't already know or suspect. Captain, Fin and Munch aren't idiots… and neither is Kathy. I doubt anyone thinks we were just having sleepovers. Everyone knows I live here now," Elliot responds.

"I don't know, El…" Olivia says. "Being together is one thing… a baby though? That's huge, Elliot. I can't imagine the team and Kathy just shaking this off."

"They're gonna have to," Elliot tells her. "We're having a child, Liv. Yes, the team will be shocked… and I can't imagine Kathy not being pissed at the news to say the least, but this has to happen. It's time to tell people now. Actually, the news is overdue."

Olivia doesn't respond, sitting in silence as she imagines everyone's reactions.

"Or we can just keep the kid in the closet," Elliot teases while cracking a smile. "Ya know… keep the boy hidden."

Olivia smiles slightly, remembering the moment when the sex of their child was first announced. She gently holds her belly, feeling more connected to their son each time he is mentioned as an actual person.

She now understands a mother's bond with her child, but it is uncomfortable times like these when she wishes they had waited.

"You tell me, Elliot, because I don't know. How should we do this? You seem to be the only one lately with the common sense, so you decide… I just can't think of any way to break this news," Olivia responds.

"Well, we can invite the guys out for dinner and tell them that way. It's been over a month since you've last seen them anyway so this will be good for you," Elliot suggests.

Olivia is six months into the pregnancy, and had been proud of herself for concealing her stomach so well at four and half months. She recalls standing in front of the full body mirror, turning side to side to see if the baggy sweater she had chosen to wear that day had done the trick.

She and Elliot had gone out for breakfast with the guys no more than two months ago and she remembers dreading the day when she would be forced to tell it all.

The weeks had gone by fast, making it more and more difficult for Olivia to hide under baggy clothes, her belly quickly ballooning up as time had passed. _A sweater can only do so much._

"And Kathy?" Olivia asks him.

"Let me deal with Kathy," Elliot responds. "I'll talk to her, that's my job. You just worry about preparing yourself for that dinner, okay?"

Olivia nods before bowing her head and taking in the size of her belly once again.

X-X-X-X

_**Two nights later**_

"You're shaking," Elliot comments before gently placing his hand on her thigh.

"I know…" Olivia responds. "I'm just nervous."

She takes a sip of water from the crystal glass in front of her before being approached by the waitress.

"Are we all set to order?" the woman kindly asks, noticing Olivia's uneasiness and facing Elliot for a response.

She holds a pen in between her fingers with a note pad in her palm on the opposite hand. Her hair is pinned up and she sports a bright smile on her face.

"No, ma'am," Elliot tells her. "We're still waiting on a few people."

The waitress nods her head and walks over to a different table, allowing them the space that Olivia desperately wants.

Minutes go by before Olivia sees Munch and Fin walking through the door on the opposite side of the restaurant. She's thankful for the booth they're in, Elliot and the table both conveniently hiding her growing belly from Munch and Fin's view.

She wants to share the news vocally, not wishing for their first encounter to be absolute shock at her figure.

Munch and Fin begin approaching the table as Elliot waves them over.

"How's it goin'?" Elliot asks as they slide into the large booth, sitting opposite of Elliot and Olivia.

"We're doing okay. You know how it is… late nights, same-o, same-o," Munch responds before facing Olivia.

"What's new with you?" Munch asks, cocking his head at her.

Olivia swallows the lump in her throat before glancing nervously at Elliot, wondering whether or not she should lie right off the bat and respond with, "_nothing much_."

Fin and Munch notice the awkward body language between Elliot and Olivia and turn to face each other, both slightly shrugging their shoulders in confusion.

"Where's Cragen," Elliot asks, quickly changing the subject.

Elliot doesn't want to be forced to reveal this news twice in one night, preferring everyone to be at the table before sharing any information with them.

"He had a couple of things to take care of back at the office," Fin responds. "He should be here very shortly."

Fin looks over at Olivia who visibly relaxes as the conversation quickly changes direction.

"I'm glad we could meet up. It's nice seein' ya, Liv. We get tired of only seeing Elliot's ugly mug around the squad room all the time… we miss ya," Fin tells her.

"Thanks, Fin," Elliot says sarcastically.

"No problem," Fin responds.

"Really…Thanks," Olivia responds, nodding. "I miss you guys too."

The table becomes silent for over a minute before Munch speaks up.

"So did we meet here to catch up?" Munch asks, facing Elliot. "Not that I mind seeing you guys… I was excited to meet up, but any reason in particular for this get-together? I've been trying to arrange something for weeks and ya didn't really seem interested."

Olivia glances over at Elliot before nervously reaching for the glass of water in front of her and taking another small sip.

"We'll wait for Cap'n," Elliot tells Munch. "I think that's best."

"Wow, sounds serious. You're not pregnant or anything, are ya?" Munch jokes before facing Fin.

Fin cracks a smile at Munch's tease before nudging him in the side using his elbow.

"No jokes tonight," he warns, noticing the stern expressions on Elliot and Olivia's faces.

Munch releases a small chuckle before turning toward Olivia and seeing her eyes widen.

"I'm sorry," he surrenders, raising his hands. "I was just goofing around… you know me."

Fin watches as Olivia's bottom jaw drops and he nudges Munch once again, with more force as he sees the stunned expression on her face.

Munch's smile slowly fades as Elliot shakes his head at him. He faces Fin once more before they both examine Olivia, their eyes slowly moving down to focus on her swollen belly.

Fin and Munch turn to Elliot, waiting for him to confirm what they both suspect.

"Nice goin', Munch," Elliot says, shaking his head. "You always knew how to break the damn ice."

"We were just messin' around," Fin says, staring into Olivia's eyes. "We would've never guessed this. That was just Munch being… Munch."

Olivia nods her head, the shock slowly wearing off as the anticipation of revealing her pregnancy to them suddenly dies away.

"Uh…. So… how'd this happen?" Munch asks.

Elliot tilts one eyebrow at him and Munch begins stammering his words as he attempts to correct himself.

"Th-that's not… not what I meant of course… I obviously know _how_ it happened. I meant… when did it happen?"

Fin loudly clears his throat twice.

"Munch, shut up," he whispers under his breath while gritting between his teeth.

"I think he means, when is the baby due?" Fin says to Olivia, speaking on Munch's behalf. "How far are you along?"

"I'm six months," Olivia answers.

She watches Munch and Fin as they sit silent, each searching their brains for answers. Olivia sees Fin mentally counting the months, obviously curious about the date of conception.

Fin looks up at Elliot, cocking his head at him, his silent way of asking if the child is Elliot's. Elliot nods his head in return and Fin releases a small sigh, relaxing a bit before facing Olivia once again.

"I'm happy for ya, Liv," Fin tells her.

They all turn to face the aisle as they see Cragen approaching the booth.

"How's it going, Cap'n?" Elliot says as Cragen lowers himself into his seat, sitting beside Fin.

"Uh, busy day," Cragen responds.

He looks around and notices that all eyes are on him and softly chuckles.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks. "Why's everyone so quiet? This meeting isn't about me, is it?"

Elliot opens his mouth to speak, but the waitress approaches the table before he has the opportunity to.

"Welcome, gentlemen. Can I start you off with some drinks?" she asks.

"Yeah, coffee all around. Is that fine with you guys?"Cragen asks Fin and Munch.

"Sounds good," Munch answers.

The waitress leaves the table to gather the drinks and Cragen stares back over at Elliot.

"So…?"

"Don, Olivia's pregnant," Elliot suddenly says, thinking it will be easier to tell him straightforward rather than delaying the news or dropping hints.

Cragen releases a loud cough, in total shock by Elliot's response.

"I'm six months along," Olivia adds, wanting to get this discussion over as quickly as possible.

She's happy about having a son with Elliot, but recognizes the tension in the room as she and Elliot reveal that she is not only pregnant, but more than half way into that pregnancy.

"Wow, well…. Uh, congrats," he says, looking back and forth from Olivia's face to Elliot's.

"Thank you," Olivia says, speaking softly.

"I um… don't want to assume anything," Cragen begins. "Is the baby…uhh…?" he says, trailing off.

"The baby's mine," Elliot answers before Cragen is able to finish his question.

Cragen relaxes slightly at the news. As much as he is uncomfortable with his two detectives having a child while one is still married, he is more comfortable with the baby not belonging to some stranger or even worse, to the man who nearly destroyed Olivia's life.

"Wasn't expecting this news tonight, I'll be honest," Cragen tells them. "It's a lot to take in, but I'm proud of you, Liv… Good for you."

Olivia nods her head and feels Elliot's hand on her thigh again as she gently exhales.

She doesn't know which is harder: receiving the pregnancy news in the first place or telling the men she had grown to love for over a decade that she is six months along with her partner's kid.

X-X-X-X

Elliot watches Olivia from the opposite side of the counter as she stuffs one forkful of macaroni into her mouth after another.

She feels Elliot's gaze on her as she's bent over and looks up at him.

"What?" Olivia says with food still in her mouth.

"Nothin'," Elliot says, smirking.

"Look, I'm hungry, okay?" Olivia confesses while chewing.

"Yeah, I can see that," Elliot responds.

He looks down at his watch and shakes his head.

"We had dinner no more than an hour ago," he laughs.

"Shut up, Elliot," Olivia jokes back. "I'm a pig, okay… And I don't care."

"Hey, I love you like this," Elliot says, throwing his hands up in the air. "Don't stop eating because of me. I'm just happy to see you like this, that's all."

Olivia slants her eyebrow before swallowing.

"Seeing me like a pig?" Olivia says. "Wow, I have a good man," she responds, shrugging.

"I'd love you no matter what, but that's not what I meant. You're changing for the better, Liv. A few months ago I couldn't get you to eat anything. You're progressing and you don't even see it," Elliot says, smiling.

"Having a child inside you, will do that to ya. I'd eat just about anything right now," Olivia responds.

She sees the change, as well but refuses to admit it as she slowly adjusts to this new life, as she tries to convince herself that it's possible to live a happy and normal life after Grant.

"I'm not just referring to your appetite, I mean you in general," Elliot adds.

Olivia takes in another mouthful of macaroni and cheese before setting the fork down beside her bowl and staring back up at Elliot.

"How so?" Olivia asks.

She recognizes the changes but wants some convincing from Elliot, needing a confirmation that she isn't as permanently damaged and broken as she had assumed she would be.

"Well, for one, the pills…" Elliot begins. "Months ago I didn't know how this would all end."

Olivia gives him a puzzled look before responding.

"What do you mean?" she asks as Elliot's tone gets serious.

"I thought I wouldn't be able to save you, Liv. It scared me. You were slowly slipping away right in front of me and I felt like I couldn't do anything about it."

Olivia's eyes slowly close and she drops her head slightly.

"God, I'm sorry, Elliot. I only cared about numbing the pain and I was selfish… sorry I put you through that," Olivia tells him.

"No, don't," Elliot says to her. "Don't apologize. You did well considering your circumstances… and I couldn't be happier for you right now. Don't you dare say sorry for anything."

Olivia nods her head but secretly hates the praise. She knows she put Elliot through hell and can't find the words to say to explain why she had continued to abuse her meds even after seeing the hurt she had caused him.

"This discussion isn't about me," Elliot continues. "What I went through doesn't even compare to your experience. It's almost laughable when you compare the two…so don't feel sorry for me. You haven't wronged me, you're perfect."

Olivia looks to the side, wondering if Elliot realizes how many times she had deceived him in past months. She feels convicted for her wrongdoings but tries to believe Elliot's words anyway.

"Thank you," she says in a soft tone.

Elliot looks down at her empty bowl and reaches for it before placing it into the sink. He walks around the counter and reaches out his hand to her. Olivia accepts it and slides off the stool.

They walk over to the sofa and Elliot sits before Olivia lowers herself into the cushion beside him.

"All my actions made sense to me at the time," Olivia tells him.

"Olivia, you don't have to keep analyzing why you did what you did. You went through something extremely traumatic, and that's all you need to know. Nothing that happened was your fault, it's all on…Grant."

Elliot hates saying his name, especially in front of Olivia, but knows that there is no other way to show her where the blame really belongs.

Olivia nods her head once more.

"I know, but let me explain… At the time, I really did feel like the drugs were my only way of feeling like myself. I was sick of feeling like a victim…without even realizing that I was victimizing myself," Olivia tells him.

"Yeah, I know," Elliot responds, cracking a small smile and rubbing her back. "I know."

"I just remembered that when I was back at that house… the best times, if you can even call them that, were when I had the pills," Olivia continues. "It was forced at first but following that night, I didn't want to go a single day without them… and that didn't change I guess. I felt that way even after you found me…and even after you begged me to stop. It's just pathetic."

"I know, Liv," Elliot tells her. "Again, you don't have to explain yourself. I know you're not selfish. I know you were taking them to get rid of the hurt. Stop being so hard on yourself. That's all over now…the bad times are gone."

Olivia leans her head on Elliot's chest as he puts his arm around her and over her shoulder. She relaxes her head as Elliot's chest slowly moves up and down. The sound of his breathing calms her and she closes her eyes, but is unable to keep her mind from wondering.

"Elliot?" she calls for him in a soft tone.

"Hm?" Elliot responds.

"Do you think I would've stopped had I not gotten pregnant? Do you think I'd be the same?" she quietly asks him.

She feels Elliot shrug as her head remains on his chest.

"It doesn't matter," Elliot responds. "Only the present matters. Don't think about the 'what ifs'… that won't help anybody. I'm thankful for how things are _now_… and I love you, Olivia."

His deep vocals vibrate on her ear and cheek, and Olivia nods, knowing how true his words are. The 'what ifs' she constantly thought about after being captured are what had tortured her the most inside.

_What if I had never opened my apartment door? What if I had kept my gun right beside me all while I was at that hotel? What if I had never pursued Grant's case so aggressively?_ She had thought about it all.

She closes her eyes and takes to Elliot's advice as she attempts to rid her mind of the 'what ifs' and focus on what is to come.

_**PLEASE REVIEW! THANK YOU TO ALL WHO DO! LOVE YA!**_


	36. Chapter 36

_**Hello! Sorry for the long wait. I had a bit of time to write, but had some major writer's block. I have many ideas for the next chapter so it won't be a problem! Thanks for all your comments! I really appreciate it and it's so much fun reading what you have to say!**_

"Son of a Bitch," Olivia grunts as she shifts her body into a different position while on the sofa.

"What's the matter?" Elliot asks her, walking over to her from the kitchen. "Heart burn again?"

Olivia winces as she slowly straightens her body out.

"No, back pain," she responds. "Feels like somebody took an axe to my lower back…shit."

She squeezes her eyes shut as the sharp, stabbing pain continues to invade her lower back.

"Don't worry, this is normal," Elliot responds, standing a few feet in front of her. "Your center of gravity is just thrown off from the extra weight you're carrying… Your muscles are forced to work harder and that's putting stress on your joints so-"

"Elliot, shut up," Olivia says quickly, cutting him off. "I know the technical reason. I don't need a medical explanation, I just want the pain gone."

Elliot smirks, not necessarily to the pain Olivia is experiencing but the pregnancy itself. With this now being his sixth child, he is used to seeing the different aches, pains, and most importantly, the mood swings that come with being pregnant.

Olivia releases a strong gasp before looking up at Elliot's face.

"I swear to God, Elliot, I'm gonna rip that smirk off your face. I'll murder you," she pants while concentrating on her breathing in attempt to ease her pain.

"Sorry," Elliot responds. "And I know you're in your third trimester and everything, but can we at least wait until you're on the table and in labor before the death threats? It's a bit early for that, no?"

He looks down at her and doesn't see the slightest sign of amusement on her face as she glares at him.

"Whoa… if looks alone could kill…" Elliot says under his breath.

He cocks his head toward her bedroom before speaking.

"Want a' extra pillow?" Elliot suggests as he begins stepping in the direction of the hallway.

Olivia sighs and nods her head.

"Anything else I can get for ya?" Elliot asks.

"Yes, get this baby out of me," Olivia responds.

With that, Elliot walks to the bedroom and grabs one of her bed pillows. He enters the living room and walks back over to her, using his hand to tilt her back forward to slide the pillow behind her.

"That better?" he asks.

"Mm-hm," Olivia mummers, leaning against the extra cushion.

"It's almost over," Elliot tells her. "We're so close."

Olivia nods her head and looks back up at him as she speaks.

"Yeah, I know. Thankfully _we _won't have to be in pain for too much longer," she says sarcastically.

Elliot shakes his head before sitting down beside her on the sofa. He had always known Olivia to be feisty, but the pregnancy took her feistiness to a whole new level.

"You know what I meant," Elliot says.

Elliot places his hand on her thigh before reaching for the remote and resuming the movie that Olivia had paused moments ago when he went to the kitchen to put the dishes away.

"Finally," Olivia whispers as the pain dulls.

"I wish I knew what you were going through. I hate seeing you in discomfort," Elliot tells her.

"Oh, really?" Olivia responds, not able to hold in her sarcasm as she remembers the smirk that had been plastered across Elliot's face just minutes before.

"Yeah, really," Elliot answers. "I would switch our bodies and take the pain myself if I could."

Olivia shakes her head, secretly hating him for offering the impossible, something that he can't give or actually do for her. She winces once more when she feels the pain quickly returning.

"I'm not used to seeing you like this," Elliot says.

"Seeing me like what?" Olivia asks, turning to face him.

"In pain like this," Elliot responds. "I can't even count the number of times you've seen me in pain or in the hospital, but it's rarely the other way around."

"I didn't get shot or stabbed, Elliot. I'm pregnant," Olivia says, laughing a bit.

"I know, I know. I'm still not used to seeing you in pain," Elliot tells her.

"Stop worrying, I'm fine. Besides… I've been in much worse pain than this before. This is minor compared to what I've experienced," Olivia responds.

Elliot looks at her, puzzled. He nods his head when he finally realizes which experiences specifically Olivia is referring to.

Olivia watches Elliot as he bows his head and frowns. She swallows after she realizes that she has unintentionally brought the mood down. She notices the quick change in Elliot's expression and knows he is thinking of Grant. It is clear that Elliot feels guilty and that's the last thing Olivia wants.

She reaches for his hand and tugs on it lightly as he stares down to the floor.

"Elliot, I'm fine. Now is not the time to get all sad on me. You should be okay knowing that I'm okay…And actually I'm better than okay, I'm great."

"Are you sure, Liv?" Elliot says, speaking softly. "You can tell me if you aren't. You never need to hide your feelings from me. Ever. Are you still hurting? Really, you can tell me."

Elliot stares into Olivia's eyes as she sits in silence, a look of uncertainty plastered on her face as she wonders whether or not she should travel down this road with him.

"Yes, Elliot…I feel the pain from time to time, but that's normal. To be honest, I don't think some of those memories will ever go away. And you should be worried if I said otherwise. It wouldn't be realistic if I didn't think about it occasionally. It just doesn't happen that way," Olivia responds.

"How often do you think about it; how often do you feel the pain?" Elliot asks her.

Olivia places her hands in her lap and clasps them together as she looks down at her fidgeting fingers.

"Elliot, this won't benefit anyone. Why do you want to know?" Olivia asks, avoiding eye contact with him as she twiddles her fingers in her lap.

"I need to know," Elliot responds without providing an actual reason.

"I said that I'm fine, and that's all that should matter. It shouldn't matter how many days of the week I think about it," Olivia tells him. "I'm fine, Elliot," she repeats.

Elliot nods his head reluctantly and drops the conversation. He decides not to push her any further even though not knowing the details of what Olivia endures each day tortures him.

"Okay," Elliot says, forcing a smile on his face. "I believe ya."

Olivia pushes herself off of the sofa slowly, balancing herself as her ankles adjust to the weight of her belly.

"I'm gonna go hop in the shower," she says as she begins walking past Elliot.

Elliot extends his hand out and grabs her wrist gently, stopping her.

"Don't be upset. I really do believe you, Liv. You know me though… I just worry too much. I know you're okay. You don't have to prove to me that you are. I can see that you're happy. I'm sorry for being so invasive… Like I said, I just worry a lot," Elliot explains to her.

"I know," Olivia responds. "I'm not upset, but I really should shower. I haven't had one today."

Elliot stares into her eyes and sees the pain she's feeling, but releases her wrist, realizing that she needs her space. He can't tell if the pain is a result of her thinking about her past experience with Grant or if she is hurt and frustrated about the fact that she can't convince Elliot that she is fully recovered from that experience.

Olivia heads toward the bathroom and Elliot drops his head, cursing himself for pushing her.

Once in the bathroom, Olivia begins removing her clothing. After she removes her shirt, she walks over to the shower, reaching her hand inside the curtain to turn the knob.

While waiting for the water to warm up, she examines her body in the mirror, taking in her large belly. After seeing a bit of steam rise, she turns toward the tub and slowly steps in.

When the hot water hits her skin she closes her eyes. Grant's face suddenly flashes before her and she shoots her eyes back open. She desperately looks around the bathtub, looking for a distraction as Grant's face is permanently burned into her memory.

She sobs, realizing that even the most innocent and simple activities bring up memories of him, even months following her capture.

_She hears the hinges squeaking as the door cracks open and holds her breath. She listens closely and hears footsteps approaching the bathtub. _

_What is he going to do to me? she wonders. Is he going to yank me from the tub again? Beat me for taking too long?_

"_I'm almost done, Grant," she says as she sees his silhouette through the curtain. "I'm going as fast as I can."_

"_Take your time," Grant tells her. "There's no rush. I'm just coming in to check on ya."_

_Olivia swallows hard and closes her eyes as she hears him take his last step. She feels his presence and knows he is standing right beside the bathtub, no more than a couple feet away from her._

_Grant gently pulls the curtain back and as the curtain rings slide along the metal pole Olivia turns to face him._

_Grant says nothing, gazing at her while she stands in silence. She freezes as the hot water continues to pour down onto her bruised body. _

"_What do you want, Grant?" Olivia whispers, dropping her head and feeling completely exposed once again. _

"_Can I join you?" Grant asks while smiling sadistically. _

"_I was just about to step out actually," Olivia says while her breathing picks up. "I'm done."_

"_I know I'm usually strict about your long showers, but I'll make an exception for you this time."_

_Olivia shuts her eyes once more as she hears Grant removing his belt before hearing his pants drop to the tile floor. She waits with her eyes closed and flinches when she feels his warm flesh on her back as he steps in behind her._

Olivia reaches for the knob to turn the water off and her first attempt fails. Her grip on the knob is weak as her hands tremble. She squeezes her hands more firmly around the knob and tries again, finally shutting the water off.

Feeling suffocated inside the shower, she quickly steps out and grabs her towel. Elliot hears the bathroom door shut again and lifts himself off the sofa, walking toward the hallway.

He looks down to the floor and sees Olivia's wet footprint tracks leading to her bedroom. He follows them and slowly cracks the door open when he reaches her room.

"Liv?" he asks in a concerned tone. "You doin' alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Olivia says in a shaky voice.

Elliot pushes the door open fully and sees her slipping on her robe.

"You don't sound fine, babe," Elliot says honestly.

"Well, I am," Olivia retorts as she rubs the towel into her soaked hair.

Elliot enters the room but keeps his distance.

"That was a quick shower," he comments. "What happened, Liv?"

"Uh, the warm water went out," she lies. "I couldn't shower in freezing water."

Elliot recognizes the uneasiness in her voice and immediately knows she is lying.

"Olivia, you can tell me the truth," Elliot says calmly.

Olivia pauses from drying off and faces him.

"What do you mean?" she asks, shrugging.

She's able to keep her upper body steady and take control back over her voice, but her hands still shake. Elliot looks at her face and notices the redness in her eyes. She had obviously been crying.

"I don't know why you feel like you have to go through this alone. Olivia, whatever you tell me, I can handle it. I need to know what you're going through so that I can help you and be there for you," Elliot pleads.

"It's not necessary, Elliot. I'm fine," Olivia responds as she wraps the towel around her damp hair, twisting it to release more moisture. "I got a little spooked but I'm fine now. It happens."

"I feel responsible for that," Elliot admits. "It's my fault; I pushed you and I shouldn't have."

"Don't be silly, Elliot," Olivia says, shaking her head. "None of this is your fault."

"It was clear that you didn't want to talk about it, but I went there with you anyway. It won't happen again," Elliot says, apologizing despite Olivia's claim that he is not at fault.

"It's not you, El. Sometimes… the simplest things remind me of Grant. It was the shower, not you," Olivia tells him.

Elliot slants one eyebrow, his mind wondering as he tries to think of reasons of why being in a shower brings back painful memories of her time spent with Grant.

"Yeah, but I feel like I triggered it. What I asked was probably the catalyst and for that I'm sorry," Elliot responds.

Olivia nods before walking over to the bed and lowering herself to sit.

"When will this end?" she says, sighing.

"When will what end?" Elliot asks.

"Elliot, I'm weeks away from giving birth to our child and I'm still having difficulties dealing with something that happened months ago. It shouldn't be this way. Grant's dead… I shouldn't still be afraid like this," Olivia replies.

"You're doing great, Liv," Elliot says in a soothing tone. "Like you said, this is normal. I'd be worried if you didn't get a little shaken up every now and then. A lot of people couldn't have survived what you did. It's amazing that you're even at where you are right now. It usually takes women years to get to this point…even women that have been through a lot less."

"I know," Olivia whispers. "I'm just sick of it. I can't stand being this way. And I'm worried about the baby, El. I feel like I'm putting stress on our child when I'm like this."

Elliot sits beside her and places his hand on her back.

"The baby's fine, Liv. Each visit to the doctor has concluded that we're going to have a healthy son. Don't worry yourself sick about that. We have a few weeks to go and you'll both be fine. Actually, better than fine, you'll be great," Elliot tells her.

Olivia nods again, looking into Elliot's light blue eyes and being thankful that at least one of them had it all together. If she can't be a good mother for their child because of her issues, she's happy to have Elliot here as back up.

For a short moment, Olivia begins thinking about a life without Elliot. She quickly shakes that thought away, knowing that she doesn't feel strong and whole enough to survive parenthood without him.

_**Pleeeease review! Thanks for those who do!**_


	37. Chapter 37

_**Hi guys. New York City was amazing. And as expected, Mariska and Chris were hot. And awesome. I had a lovely time with my friends for those two weeks and was having so much fun that I didn't update. I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for too long though so…. here ya go! **_

Olivia lies on her back, staring up at the patterns on the ceiling. She's slightly hypnotized, the combination of the bright hospital lights and the strong epidural both impacting her vision and mental state.

"I hate hospitals," she whispers, slightly dazed.

She winces, a sudden sharp pain attacking her body as she experiences yet another contraction.

"Ahhh, shit," she gasps.

"You doin' alright?" Elliot asks in concern. "Want more drugs? I'll call for the nurse-"

"No," Olivia grunts, pushing through the pain. "I've had my limit already. I can barely feel from the waist down. I'm fine."

Elliot walks to the side of her hospital bed and caresses the side of her face.

"You're doing so well," he tells her, his tone soft.

"How are we doing?" the female doctor says, walking into the bright room with a nurse by her side.

"I think she's close, doc?" Elliot responds, looking down at Olivia.

The doctor pulls a stool out and places it at the foot of the bed. She sits on the stool and places her gloved hands between Olivia's legs, spreading them further apart.

"You could be right, Dad…looks like we're finally approaching ten centimeters," the doctor informs them. "Jessica, inform the other nurses please," she tells her aide.

The doctor faces Elliot and smiles as the nurse quickly exits the room.

"You might be in the wrong profession," she jokes.

Elliot forces a fake laugh before staring back down at Olivia, looking into her anxious eyes.

"Ya ready, babe?" he asks with a small smirk on his face.

Though nervous for her and the baby, Elliot presents a happy face, wanting Olivia to feel comfortable as possible. Olivia nods her head before additional nurses enter the room. A couple minutes go by and Olivia hears them scrambling around the room as she focuses on her breathing.

"Okay, Olivia, I want you to give me one big push," the doctor instructs her.

Olivia inhales deeply before using all of her energy to perform her first push.

"Aaahhh," she yells as she feels the pressure.

Elliot walks closer to her and Olivia immediately grabs his hand, clutching it tightly. Elliot's eyes widen, her strength taking him by surprise.

"You're doing good," Elliot tells her as she pushes again.

Olivia pauses, her breathing labored as she attempts to catch her breath.

"Olivia, I'm sorry, hun, but you can't stop now. You're close… I need you to keep pushing for me," the doctor instructs her.

Olivia takes in another deep breath and squeezes Elliot's hand once again as she pushes through.

Elliot looks down and his fingers are beet red as Olivia's grip remains tight.

"You can do it, babe," he soothes while ignoring the numbing of his fingers.

"Aaaaaaahhh," Olivia yells out, feeling greater pressure.

Olivia is determined, each push stronger than the last as she continues.

"I see the head. Keep pushing, Olivia," the doctor says. "You're doing awesome."

Olivia leaves no room for another break as she pushes through.

"Great," the doctor tells her. "One more push… Give me your biggest push."

Elliot's fingers throb as Olivia increases the pressure on his hand even more, for the final time.

Olivia quickly feels relief and the pressure between her legs departs. Her eyes are squeezed tight as she pants in exhaustion. She sees nothing but darkness, but guesses that her child must be out of her and in the arms of the doctor after feeling the release.

She slowly opens her eyes after hearing no noise from the baby to see the doctor sticking a syringe down his throat, suctioning the fluids to clear his airways.

Finally, she hears his voice. The baby boy shakes in the arms of the doctor, crying as he's placed on the table. Olivia peeks over at the table and sees her child. He's red, covered with fluids. She doesn't notice Elliot's hand on her as he caresses her face. She's too distracted, amazed by the life that has just come out of her.

She continues to watch their child, tears gathering in her eyes as she listens to him cry. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens as the baby boy who is now wrapped in a white cloth is brought over to her.

She ignores her exhaustion and sits up, accepting the baby boy in her arms as the doctor slowly lowers him onto her chest.

"Meet your son, Olivia," the doctor kindly tells her.

Olivia wraps her hands and arms around him, gently embracing him. Elliot sees a tear escape from her left eye and uses his thumb to wipe it away.

"This is our son," Elliot whispers.

It seems the sound of Elliot's voice calms the baby as his cries become faint.

Olivia smiles, unable to stop more tears from falling as she feels the weight of the baby in her arms.

"He's so beautiful, Elliot," she sobs.

"He is," Elliot agrees. "I knew he would be."

Olivia nods her head before looking back down at the child in her arms.

"He looks just like you," she tells him, her voice cracking as she speaks.

"I know, I can see that… poor thing," Elliot jokes.

Elliot watches Olivia as she laughs a bit with tears still in her throat. There is nothing more beautiful to him than Olivia's smile as she holds their son.

"Decided on a name?" they hear one of the nurses ask.

_**One week later**_

"Where's James?" Elliot asks while removing his jacket.

"Shhhh." Olivia's voice is soft. "He's in the bedroom. It took me forever to put him to sleep."

Elliot nods his head, using caution as he walks light on his feet, and over to the sofa where Olivia is sitting.

"Rough day?" he whispers to her. "Can I get you anything?"

Olivia shakes her head before cocking it to the bedroom.

"The only thing I'm interested in is sleep," she responds.

Elliot holds his hand out to her and waits for her to accept it.

"I'm pretty beat too. Let's go get some rest," he offers.

Olivia takes his hand and barely uses any of her own energy as Elliot does most of the work, pulling her up from the sofa.

He takes her left hand, clasping his fingers with hers as they walk slowly and quietly to the bedroom. Elliot guides her to the bed before moving toward the crib.

He turns to see a stern expression on Olivia's face as she first gives him a nonverbal warning. He continues tip toeing to the crib and bends over to see his son.

"Elliot, please don't wake him," Olivia pleads quietly from the bed. "I need sleep."

"I won't," Elliot whispers. "I just wanna look at him. He's so beautiful…he's an angel."

Elliot tenses as a tiny cry escapes James' soft lips. He remains still until he hears absolute silence. He looks down to see James calm and resting again. He's unable to hide his remorse as he stares back over at Olivia, tightening his lips.

"I told you, Elliot," Olivia whispers. "He wakes easily…and once he wakes, it's hell getting him back to sleep."

Elliot nods his head and tip toes back over to the bed. The mattress dips as he slides in, wrapping one arm around Olivia's waist as he lays his head on his pillow.

Olivia feels his warm breath on her ear as he whispers to her.

"How much sleep have you guys gotten today?"

"Barely any," Olivia whispers. "He's an active baby. Apparently sleeping isn't his cup of tea."

Olivia turns to face him and Elliot takes in her exhausted state. Her hair is a mess and Elliot can see the bags under her eyes, even in the dark.

"I'll take a couple days off. You need your rest. I'll take care of James," Elliot offers.

Olivia can't help but to giggle at Elliot's suggestion.

"_You're_ gonna take care of James? Are you sure?" she asks.

"Yeah. And what's with the giggling? You don't think I can?" Elliot asks her.

Olivia shrugs her shoulders and smiles.

"No, I believe in you. But it's a lot of work, Elliot. When's the last time you took care of a baby fulltime?" Olivia asks. "And a couple hours don't count."

"Ya got me there," Elliot says.

For minutes the room is silent as they rest, both staring over at the crib. Olivia suddenly breaks the silence, whispering to Elliot as she speaks.

"You both saved my life, Elliot," she tells him.

Elliot faces her, slightly confused and taken back by her statement.

"How?" he asks as he gently rubs her shoulder.

"You rescued me… and I don't think I ever would have stopped had I not been pregnant. I'd probably be an addict by now. James changed my life," Olivia whispers. "He'll probably never know that, but he did."

Elliot nods and pats her on the shoulder.

"We both love you. James just doesn't realize it yet. Poor kid, he has no idea how lucky he is," Elliot says, complimenting her. "Now get some rest, babe."

_**One Week Later**_

_**Pattie's Diner **_

"You kids not hungry today?" Elliot says, staring at his twins who are sitting across from him.

"I don't know about her, but I am," Dickie says as he stuffs half of a pancake into his mouth.

"That 'a boy," his father tells him.

Elliot stares over at Elizabeth who seems troubled as she stares in front of her, at nothing in particular.

"Lizzie, you doing alright over there?" Elliot asks her.

Elizabeth shakes her head and picks her fork back up.

"I'm fine, I'm just thinking," she says as she plays with the food on her plate with her fork.

"Watcha thinking about?" Elliot asks his daughter. "You can tell me anything."

Elizabeth parts her lips to speak, but hesitates, staring back over at her brother.

"I dunno…" she says, drifting off.

"Lizzie, tell me," Elliot insists. "If something's bothering you, I wanna know about it."

Elliot sees the uncertainty on Elizabeth's face and begins guessing what the issue is, encouraging her to talk about it.

"Is it about me? You know I love you kids, don't you? I want to be in your lives as much as possible. Anytime you need me just call-"

Elizabeth shakes her head.

"It's not that," she says, interrupting him.

Elliot nods his head once and looks back at her face, in attempt to read her.

"Is this about James? Your new brother?" Elliot asks. "I know this adjustment is difficult for you kids. You can ask me anything you want… And whenever you're ready to meet him, just tell me. I don't wanna rush ya."

"I do want to meet him, it's just that…" Elizabeth whispers, breaking eye contact as she turns away from her father.

"Just what?" Elliot asks in a soft tone.

Elizabeth shrugs her shoulders and speaks slowly, dragging her words out.

"Weeeell… it's just thaaaat… I overheard Mom talking to one of her girlfriends over the phone. Is it true, Dad? Is James not your son?"

Elliot nearly chokes on his food. He furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head in disbelief. He's taken back by his daughter's question and stammers his words as he speaks.

"Wh- what? Did Kathy- I mean…D- did your mom say that? Is that what you heard her say?" Elliot asks with panic in his voice.

"She didn't _exactly_ say that," Elizabeth admits. "But I think she has her doubts."

Elliot turns to face Dickie as he nods his head in agreement with his sister.

"We heard that Olivia was raped? Is that true, Dad?" Elizabeth asks.

Elliot can't hide his anxiety and is clearly unprepared for this conversation.

"Uh… yeah, Lizzie, that's true. Did you hear that from your mother?"

The twins both shrug their shoulders, ignoring their father's question completely.

"Well, if she was raped, then how do we know whose baby it really is? There's no proof that he's my brother," Dickie argues, with a bit of annoyance in his voice.

Elliot shakes his head again, looking around the diner to ensure that they aren't bringing attention to the table.

"Kids, this isn't the right place to talk about this," Elliot says quietly. "And you have to understand that your mother is very upset with me right now. She says things, but she doesn't mean it. That's just gossip."

"So it's _not_ true?" Elizabeth asks. "You're sure James is yours…that- that he's our brother?"

Elliot nods his head and looks at them both while he speaks.

"Listen, kids, a lot of things happened that you don't understand," Elliot begins.

"We're not kids," Dickie says, sighing.

Elliot doesn't respond to his remark and continues speaking.

" And maybe you'll understand more of what took place when you're older, but James _is_ my son. Your mother was just talking over the phone out of anger… and she has the right to be angry. But don't think for a second that James isn't my son. Olivia and I have taken care of it. We know James is mine."

"So it's true then…" Dickie interjects. "You did have your doubts. Is that because Olivia and that other man had sex?"

Elliot can't help but to immediately raise his voice, angered by Dickie's response.

"Dickie, don't you talk like that! It was rape, not sex!" Elliot says, raising his voice and pointing his finger at his son.

"I've taught you well enough where you should know the difference. Olivia was hurt…. Badly. And I don't want you kids to ever discuss this to anyone ever again, _especially_ in front of Olivia! Do you hear me?" Elliot orders.

Elizabeth and Dickie go silent, realizing how upset they have made their father. Elizabeth swallows hard as she looks at her father's fiery red cheeks. Elliot sees the guilt on their faces and takes a deep breath before quickly apologizing for losing his temper.

"Sorry, kids. I'm the one that said that you could tell me anything. I forget sometimes that you guys are young adults and that some of your questions will be tough ones. I didn't mean to snap, but what Olivia went through was very serious. I just don't want to see her hurt, and I don't want those rumors getting around," Elliot says in a calmer tone. "I would hate for you two to think that our next get together will be anything like this. This is our time together and I want you guys to have a good time."

Elizabeth nods her head before reaching across the table and lightly touching her father's hand.

"I love you, Dad. And I'm sorry that Olivia got hurt. I didn't mean to upset you," she tells him.

Elliot forces a smile onto his face and pats her hand back.

"It's okay, hun. Just… be careful about who you speak to, okay? I wouldn't want your mother's speculation getting back to Olivia. Olivia is a good woman, and doesn't deserve that. I don't want her thinking about the man that hurt her."

"I know," Elizabeth agrees. "And I like Olivia too, Dad. I was just wondering."

Elliot raises his hand for the check and can't resist still being slightly furious at the fact that Kathy had been speculating about James and talking to another person about him. His cheeks are still red and this doesn't go unnoticed by his kids.

"Don't tell Mom I told you that, Dad," Elizabeth pleads. "I wasn't supposed to know. I was listening in."

Elliot thinks of methods as he tries to find a way to contain a rumor without causing trouble for his daughter. He never would have guessed that he would be more furious with Kathy than she is with him. He ends their brunch early, dropping money on the table as he cocks his head in the direction of the diner entrance.

"Let's go, guys. Maybe we'll stop for some ice cream or something on the way home."

_**REVIEW PLEASE ! TELL ME WHAT YA THINK! THANKS FOR READING!**_


	38. Chapter 38

_**THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE BEEN KEEPING UP WITH THE STORY! IT MAKES A GIRL FEEL GOOD KNOWING THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ AND LOOK FORWARD TO HER STORY/UPDATES.**_

She opens the door and doesn't bother giving him a warm greeting, nodding once as she looks at his face. He's obviously fatigued about something and she wonders what that something is as he continues to stand outside her door.

"Are the kids around?" Elliot asks her, his tone a clear indication that he is upset.

"Dickie and Elizabeth haven't come home from school yet and Eli is taking a nap upstairs," Kathy answers.

Elliot nods his head and stares directly into Kathy's eyes, remaining silent.

"Ya just gonna stand there, Elliot? Or are you gonna explain what this surprise visit is about?"

"How could you, Kathy?" he responds, walking past her and into the house that he once considered his.

"How could_ I_?" Kathy retorts. "Elliot, you're going to have to fill me in because I'm confused… wasn't it you who screwed up this relationship and_ you _who walked out on your family?"

"We're not going there today, Kathy," Elliot responds. "Anything between us is over and we both know that. I'm not here to discuss that, alright? This isn't about me and you."

Kathy places her hands on her hips and stares at Elliot as he paces around the main room.

"You have a lot of nerve, Elliot. After all the shit you put me through, you think you can just come in here and storm around my living room, angry without explaining yourself? Now either tell me what this is about or get the hell out," she snaps while pointing in the direction of the front door.

Elliot's tone suddenly changes, and he seems more hurt than angry.

"How could you say that in front of the kids, Kathy? How could you put in their heads that the baby isn't mine?" Elliot asks.

Kathy displays a look of confusion on her face as she stares down at the floor and thinks back to the previous conversations she's had with her children. She's stunned as she quickly realizes how Elizabeth and Dickie discovered her true feelings concerning the baby.

"Elliot, they must've overheard. You know I would never tell the children something like that," Kathy says to him.

"I know," Elliot responds, speaking softly. "But how could you even think like that? Furthermore, how could you spread those false rumors around to your friends, knowing the damage it could cause?"

Kathy slants her right eyebrow as she looks at Elliot in amazement.

"Excuse me, Elliot? 'False' rumors? I understand your reason for being upset, but are you really going to stand there and pretend?"

Elliot's pacing ceases and he shakes his head at Kathy.

"What do you mean by that?" he asks, clearly puzzled by Kathy's question.

"C'mon, Elliot…" Kathy begins. "You and I both know how much you care for Olivia and that you would do anything for her… even if that means raising a kid that isn't yours."

Elliot steps closer to Kathy and shakes his head in confusion once again as he tries to understand her.

"I'm lost Kathy. What are you saying exactly?"

"Jesus, Elliot, you're really gonna make me spell it out for you?" Kathy asks, sighing. "Fine... I might have not been briefed on every single detail of the case but I know enough, Elliot. I know that Olivia was hurt…that she was raped by Meyers. And I also know that James isn't yours. As unfortunate as that is, you and I both know that it's the truth."

Elliot is shocked by Kathy's allegation and he closes his eyes shut in attempt to compose himself before speaking again.

"Wait, hold on for a second. What would make you think that James isn't mine?"

"Why are you doing this, Elliot? Are you really trying to convince me that the baby is yours? That you had sex with Olivia the weeks following her rescue? Gimme a break, El," Kathy says, walking past him and over to the sofa.

Kathy keeps herself busy, picking up Eli's toys as Elliot stands there, at a loss for words. He swallows the lump in his throat before turning to face her. He's visibly nervous and even somewhat embarrassed as he reveals the truth to her.

"I did actually," Elliot tells her.

Kathy immediately stops what she is doing and looks up at him.

"You've got to be kidding me, Elliot. Please tell me that you are joking."

Elliot remains silent, only staring into her eyes, but Kathy reads him.

"And just when I thought I couldn't think any less of you," Kathy says, slowly shaking her head. "You slept with a victim, Elliot? Were you that desperate to get into Olivia's pants? You couldn't wait a couple months first?"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Kathy. Olivia's a grown woman. She made that decision. I didn't force her to do anything, it was her choice!" Elliot tells her, raising his voice slightly. "She felt she was ready."

"I can't believe this," Kathy says, releasing a huff. "You expect me to believe that Olivia wanted you after being abused by that man for weeks?"

"Yes," Elliot replies while nodding. "Because that's what happened. James is mine, Kathy. And you have no right telling people otherwise."

"That's a pretty sick thing ya did," Kathy says under her breath, but loud enough for Elliot to hear her.

Although Elliot knows in his heart that Olivia felt she was ready that night and that she was the one who initiated it, he can't help but to feel a bit remorseful, at times wondering if that night was a mistake; if he took advantage of Olivia while she was at her most vulnerable state.

Still, Elliot doesn't give in to Kathy's harsh statement, disregarding it completely.

"You need to fix this, Kathy. The kids trust you and the things that you say around them matter. You need to explain yourself and make things right," Elliot tells her. "And the last thing Olivia needs is to be reminded of what Meyers did to her. If those rumors get back around to Olivia somehow and she's hurt in any way by it, you'd be the one to blame."

Kathy knows that Elliot is right and her heart becomes heavy with guilt. She remains silent, not knowing what to say in response. As furious as she is with Elliot and Olivia, she does not have wicked thoughts in her head and would never want to cause that type of pain for Olivia.

As a woman, a part of her understands and can imagine the constant struggles that Olivia is most likely going through following the weeks of abuse she experienced with Grant. She empathizes with Olivia, but is yet to admit it. Kathy nods her head and Elliot accepts her gesture as he turns to walk to the door before making his exit.

_**1 hour later**_

_**Olivia's Apartment**_

Elliot sits on the sofa, looking over at Olivia as she sits on the opposite end, gently rocking James in her arms.

"What's the matter, El?" she suddenly asks, surprising him.

"Um… nothing. Why do you ask?" Elliot responds.

"You look a little upset. Did everything go okay with the kids today?" Olivia asks.

Elliot clears his throat as he searches for an answer. He can't allow Olivia to know his true reason for going to Queens. The last thing she needs is to worry about possible rumors regarding James' biological father. Elliot knows how humiliating that would be for her and how much pain that words alone can cause.

"Yeah, the kids were great," Elliot responds.

He doesn't share any specifics, not wanting to lie any more than he really had to.

Olivia gives Elliot a tiny smile before staring back down at James. She massages her fingers through James' peach fuzz-like hair before continuing to rock him. As happy as James made her, Kathy's words torment Elliot and he tries to remember the details of that night to see if his guilt is justified.

_"Kiss me,"_ he remembers Olivia saying. _"Please."_

He stares back over at Olivia and wonders how he can have even an ounce of regret as she stares down at James. A part of him wishes he hadn't spoken to Kathy about that night or about James at all because even though Kathy only said a few words, she said just enough to make Elliot feel disgusted with himself.

_"Olivia, why are you doing this?" he whispers while he softly strokes her upper arm with the back of his hand._

_"Because I need you," she responds, whispering. "I need to experience real love again. I can't have my last memory be of Grant. I need that control back, Elliot. I need you to love me again."_

_Elliot leans down and places a gentle kiss on her lips. He wonders if this is the right decision._

_"I'm ready," Olivia repeats, whispering. "Trust me."_

_Elliot looks into Olivia's eyes, shifting his body closer to hers. Olivia seems genuine as she extends her hand out and cups Elliot's chin with her palm. Elliot reaches toward the opposite hand and removes the pill bottle that she is holding, tossing it to the other side of the bed._

_He pauses once more, not wanting to make any mistakes, but knowing that Olivia will consider herself damaged goods if he rejects her._

Elliot stares hard at Olivia and doesn't see even a hint of unhappiness on her face as she holds little James in her arms. If she is happy, then why can't he just accept that and ignore Kathy's statement altogether? Olivia feels Elliot's eyes on her and looks back up at him.

"What's wrong, Elliot? You can tell me."

Elliot doesn't notice Olivia or hear her speaking. Instead, he continues to think back to his conversation with Kathy as his guilt eats away at him.

_"You slept with a victim, Elliot? Were you that desperate to get into Olivia's pants? You expect me to believe that Olivia wanted you after being abused by that man for weeks? That's a pretty sick thing ya did."_

Kathy's words repeat in his mind. Elliot can't stand his worrisome side. The proof of Olivia's happiness is right in front of him, but for whatever reason, her content state is not enough to satisfy him; it's not enough to assure him that he has no reason for feeling guilty.

_Elliot kneels, sitting back on his calves as he slowly begins to work at her clothing. He tucks his fingers into the waistband of Olivia's pajama pants and gradually pulls them down her legs, tossing them onto the floor._

_He crawls closer to Olivia and lies on his side next to her, reaching his hand toward her abs and gently massaging her stomach. Olivia closes her eyes and fully rests her head back, relaxing as Elliot's hands go from her core to the delicate skin on her inner thighs._

_Elliot gazes at her angelic face while trailing his hands up between her legs until he reaches her panties. He gently squeezes and feels the moisture through her silk panties as his hand presses against her covered mound._

_He remains on his side, using one hand to slowly pull her panties down her legs. He uses the same hand to pull up her tank top, watching his contact as he notices the bruising along her sides and arms._

_He frowns in anger, Grant's face suddenly flashing before him, but quickly shakes it off, not wanting to break the intimate mood._

_Olivia lifts her upper body as Elliot pulls her tank top past her shoulders and over her head. She watches Elliot as he works at his pants button and zipper. He drags his pants and underwear down his legs, completely exposed as he tosses them onto the floor._

_He lowers himself more onto her body and his erection rests on her stomach as he kisses her neck. He reaches down, grabbing the head of his dick as he places it at her entrance. He waits, slightly nervous as his eyes remain on Olivia._

_"Do it, Elliot," she says in a low whisper. "Please…"_

"Elliot."

She calls his name, waving her hand to snap him out of his daydream. Elliot looks at Olivia who seems confused as she stares at him. James now rests in her lap as she uses the opposite arm to hold his small head up.

"Do you think I did everything right, Liv?" Elliot suddenly asks her.

"What do you mean?" Olivia responds in a soft tone.

"With you…after everything you went through… do you think I made a mistake that night?" Elliot asks.

"I don't understand," Olivia responds. "What's got you thinking about that?"

Elliot shrugs his shoulders before speaking again.

"Nothing in particular. Sometimes I just feel terrible about the whole thing… like I pushed you to do something that you weren't ready for," Elliot says.

Olivia chuckles before bringing her right palm to her lips to cover her mouth.

"What's so funny?" Elliot says, slightly confused as he sees pure amusement on Olivia's face.

"You must not be remembering that night correctly, Elliot. If anything, you weren't ready. I think you were just nervous for me though. It might have not been the healthiest thing for me to do at the time, but I needed it. I wanted it," Olivia tells him. "Of course you did everything right, Elliot. You were perfect. Throughout my entire recovery, you were perfect."

Elliot nods his head and feels more relieved after listening to her.

"Elliot, it seems strange that you would suddenly be thinking about this now, months and months after the fact. If I was hurt by it, don't you think that hurt would be showing in some way?"

"I suppose," Elliot mutters.

She can't put her finger on it, but knows Elliot too well to believe that this is just some random thought that popped into his head. Olivia realizes from past experiences that Elliot is stubborn, and that it will be a challenge to get to the root of whatever issue is upsetting him. James has her worn out and she honestly doesn't have the energy to persuade him into sharing what she figures he isn't revealing to her. She decides to comfort him rather than arguing with him about opening up, as she so often does.

"Come sit by me. You're too far away," Olivia says, patting the sofa cushion with her free hand.

Elliot lifts himself from his seat and scoots a few feet in Olivia's direction, landing right beside her. Olivia gently places her hand on his knee and smiles at him.

"You have too much on your mind, El," she whispers. "And if it has anything to do with me, don't even waste your energy. I couldn't be happier right now. You'd be a fool to worry about me."

Kathy had made him feel like a true prick, like one of the dirt bags that he and Olivia used to interrogate on a daily basis. Wanting to protect Olivia from everything bad, including the potential rumors, he doesn't mention Kathy. He manages to shake Kathy's harsh remarks off, realizing that Olivia is genuine and that she isn't putting on a happy face simply to please him.

Elliot feels Olivia's soft hands massaging his leg and closes his eyes, feeling less like a prick and more like the man she loves. Olivia's touch is intimate and relaxes him as her fingers move from his knee and travel along his thigh. Her simple touch doesn't necessarily arouse Elliot, but causes him to think back to that same night that he had doubts about only moments ago.

_Elliot enters her and they both release a gasp as he pushes into her. Olivia lets out a faint whimper as Elliot begins to move inside her, his rhythm consistent as he reaches his arms around her back and embraces her._

_In the same manner, Olivia reaches her arms around his strong back as Elliot pumps inside her._

_"I love you," Elliot grunts as Olivia's inner walls tighten around him._

_Olivia closes her eyes and moans his name as Elliot's pace increases._

_"You okay?" he mumbles, momentarily stopping._

_"Yes…yes, don't stop," Olivia whispers._

_Elliot continues and Olivia wraps her hands around his muscular ass as he begins pumping inside her again. Olivia's moans get louder and Elliot can tell that she is close to her peak. He increases his pace even more, his bottom jaw dropping as her insides vibrate around him._

_Olivia cries out and Elliot's motion slows moments later as he moans through his climax._

_He rolls off of her, both their breathing labored. He reaches down and pulls the covers back over them, moving closer to Olivia and putting one arm around her._

_"I love you," he whispers while kissing her on her right temple._

_Olivia always knows how to make Elliot feel at peace with himself. Her touch alone is a confirmation to Elliot that he had done all the right things that night._

_"Don't stop." _Those two words echo in Elliot's mind and he realizes that he had sex, not with a victim as Kathy claims, but to a beautiful woman who wanted his love in return.

"Feel better?" he hears Olivia ask.

Elliot nods his head, knowing that everything between them is just right. He's still adjusting to this new life, not yet used to things being so perfect. Olivia's experience with Grant and her pill abuse issue alone had been enough problems to fill an entire lifetime.

He hates that Kathy put something out there that can possibly ruin what they now have; a wonderful life free of issues. Elliot vows to himself to do everything in his power to protect Olivia from the negative chatter, which he fears may now be out there. He also fears that others may have similar thoughts as Kathy, and assume the worst.

Elliot smiles at Olivia and rubs her thigh as she stares up at him. He doesn't like hiding the truth from her, but knows that the truth will only humiliate her and bring back her most painful memories.

_**THANKS! PLEASE REVIEW! LOTS MORE AND LOTS OF DRAMA AND BUMPINESS IN THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS!**_


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